Bitlife but I make organized crime extremely unorganized

hey there friends today we are playing bit life and you know what i need to work on my organizational skills so we're going into organized crime seems reasonable name godfather sopranos it's like oh this guy's definitely not a cop anyway his name is godfather sopranos and he's wearing that shirt that says i'm not a cop special talent crime i didn't even know what a special talent is that a special talent going on britain's got talent like yes i'm going to be performing some crime for you today well he's definitely the irish mob anyway he's so pale no they all look just concerned like cat out of shrek or something i want there we go that's what i'm looking for he looks like a fella who tied her to the train track oh my god even as a baby it's terrifying an australian little girl named melanie wants to become your friend what how did i even meet you i'm too reject probably an undercover cop trying to get the inside scoop but i'm no rat his name is jackie grabber i'm going to be his friend that sounds like a mafia name i'm suffering from a middle ear infection i didn't hear nothing all right i'm eight i think it's time i start getting involved in crime i'm old enough oh technically i am okay it's time to start pickpocketing an old man yeah pickpocket him yes 55 bucks i think i'm just going to do a crime every year until i'm 18 and then work my way into the big leagues porch pirate and rich house i think oh this is haunted yeah definitely rob the haunted place a roomba vacuum okay i think that would make me calm down quite a bit if i was in a haunted mansion a little roomba just went by or it would scare the out of me what are the other burglar home i said like 10 feck it let's do it who will i rob no redneck go for it oh sweet jesus okay i can't be arrested surely i'm like 10 or something oh no oh no no pac-man got me oh you managed to flee okay good all right i'll go back oh sweet jesus this is much harder what is this oh no dogs chasing me run dude run yes okay i got 413 that's not bad a job before i get caught all right i'm gonna rob a priest because you would think the priest of out of anyone would like grant me forgiveness like that's what their whole thing is about they kind of have to like i i'd pressure them into it oh jesus he's in the house oh hell a priest kid run you're in danger all right i'm out of there ah my smarts are only 48 despite my best efforts i am definitely not a wise guy i should have a drum set here so you know when it's a joke and sometimes just not very good and it would help you know just point out like it's like a laugh track kind of thing i'll look into it oh jesus this is getting much harder now just stole a college kid's tv though when can i like upgrade to the big leagues okay at age 14 apparently i can start murdering i might put that off a few years not quite sure i'm ready for that leap yet in the meantime i'm gonna rob an accountant this might not be too bad oh this might be bad all right i'm out of there look at that loads of money why did i steal the accountant's teddy bear it seems a bit mean like i'm not gonna get much money for it i must be making a name for myself here at this point oh i'm gonna pickpocket a cowboy there's some odd amount of people in this in this town like the choices i'm getting it's just a melting pot of everyone isn't it i can steal a car i don't even have a license do i no how do i get my license i'm gonna need that first i don't know how to drive how would i steal the thing your friend jackie has unfriended you ah jackie the grabber huh and jackie the grabber will sleep with the fishes as in like i'll murder him i'll murder him at some point like i'm sorry i'm new to the whole hey oh take take my driving test two-way traffic done my parents bought me a six-year-old purple nissan rogue oh accept it gratefully that's awesome i've never even had that before that'll make me look badass anyway time to steal a kia sorrento yay i stole it am i selling it are you you're just keeping it jesus christ get rid of it dude sell it on the black market nobody wanted to buy a kia sorrento maybe i should have stole something that looks a bit more flashy why do i have a kimono play with it you played with your kimono okay that was great i'm not sure what that even means 720 the lowest possible price there you go 720 seleton sorry it's not full hd your mother passed away she died after a fireworks mishap okay when i'm looking to join the mob i can claim that as my first kill because no one's gonna believe it was an accident it tapped the letter number that's different to the others okay oh two two oh god i'm good at eyes oh no i don't want to steal from a drug dealer it's still from a mime you won't be able to go to the cops how are you going to explain that what are you going to do i'm going to burgle you i stole this teddy bear that was it and i'm leaving yes a dollar it was more the sentimental damage i was going for take some time off we're gonna look for a job an organized crime do you think i've done enough crime like i've done a lot don't look into it i want to join just the mafia oh god that's a lot of notoriety i probably can't get in there latin mafia no come on the russian mafia triads okay the irish mob is probably the most likely one i'm gonna provide alibis for them you successfully joined the maunder family the rival is the mcgregor family okay i think they might have more money than us but i guess we'll try our best at taking them down wait our under bosses are mcgregor surely we should suspect them as being a spy if i was braver i'd call them out for being a rat but i don't know i don't think i should do that at least not yet i'm gonna do some crime the burglaries are going great maybe i'll just keep doing that i'll no not a soldier i'll go for this surfer dude look at him he's just surfing around the house what the i got caught you're being arrested by the police you overhear the officers discussing whether you were the right suspect or not they caught me in the house i know i'm not becoming a informant no i got caught instantly i refuse to be a rat are you sure yeah i oh what do i do i'll refuse to be a rat yeah i'll i'll just do my time and and deal with it the tattletail squad the leader of the local chapter of the tattletail squad prison gang has approached you ask you to join no no no no no jesus oh no someone attacked me with a billy club and hit my hair not my precious hair look at him up there i'm a stereotypical prisoner my father sent me a coloring book i guess i didn't talk too much he still thinks i'm a child i'm up for parole do you feel that you've been rehabilitated give me your hoops sir yes sir yes i'm out after seven years this is the first time i've actually done my sentence i usually try and escape anyway back to my family and i don't mean my dad he sent me a coloring book i'm going to the irish mob x start a local business a mortuary i don't know if this will work but i'm going to try for 1500. yay i got 1500 contribute the full amount there we go i gave the mob a mazda as well oh now this is going great wait why is my standing still so low i just gave you so much and i did 11 years for you without ratting oh jesus no i i want to back out i don't want to rob this house anymore this is a bad idea i'll just steal the teddy bear and leave what will i do contribute to full amount here's the bear boss it's worth a lot of money i've stolen a lot in my day while transporting some cash you come across an extra bundle of notes that the family hasn't already accounted for or give it all to them jesus christ it cured my depression just being a good person by being a bad person i guess i'm doing it for organized crime extortion seems to be the easiest way plus you'll have a lot of money i'm gonna go for three grand 2600 yeah i'm i'm willing to negotiate you know take that offering they're just going in demanding money and they're just giving it to me like i can't really complain and i'm just like pickpocketing as well i just gave them 64 bucks from pickpocketing this is great all i'm doing is going into the mob going crime extortion and then whatever it is i just put it up to like two grand they'll offer me something else and i just take it they just know if they offer me less i'll i'll take it and it's ground look at all that money i'm earning for the mob family captain cormic taters tahini who wants to go to learn how to make fish and chips do we really need to learn but all right you know what i'm down for it he enjoyed it a lot but he doesn't want to become my friend okay so he just wanted company grand oh my god the dog groomer died it's dog the wrong color and now i'm throwing him out the window i guess so the dog groomer called the police and no no no no no no no no you see he died in the wrong color arrest him should i try and bribe them no i'll probably go to jail for long cooperate with them 23 years in prison all right let me try let me try and get some defense here and i'm going to say not guilty because this i i got the whole thing and i'm i'm being sent to an island perfect say let's try and escape i'm i'm not doing this sentence run dude run oh the okay next year i'll escape it look at that absolute masterful manipulation of the guard i may as well escalate to since i i'm wanted for life basically anyway why is my standing on so low i gave you so much money i get locked up i don't rat and my reputation with you goes down let's go rob a bank with a taser and i'll disguise myself as a nun and i'll escape in my nissan rogue that my parents got me rob it yes i got loads of money 7 800 there you go take all that money and now you love me right it barely moved these people are ridiculous wait what you've been ordered to report to the family for what okay all right go assured that you will want for nothing as long as you continue to be useful to the family well you've given me all so far and now my nissan rogue needs repairing like all they've done is get me in massive amounts of trouble because of the extortion and whatnot like they tied the dog the wrong color it's not like the dog died well the dog was died but it didn't die you know your boss has ordered you to pop a soccer player refused to take a dive okay what the hell is the shaft i'll use the shaft you dumped the soccer player's body into an abandoned mine shaft and detonated with dynamite he died you were caught by the police oh jesus christ okay i'm pretty sure if they offered me to rat now i would take it because the family are just screwing me over but for now i'll just walk out that was maximum security apparently i just walked straight out the door you've been ordered to report to the family okay what we got eyes on you your boss mr victoria said she'd hate to see you get iced okay is she actually looking out for me or what what is this what is happening family skipper sheamus mccormick's niece wants to join the debate team at her school but the coach says there's no room on the roster you're tasked to do whatever you can short of killing the coach to course him into letting the kid on the team uh confront i guess i i'm depressed now so i guess it didn't go well maybe just social interaction in general makes him depressed well he did agree at least so there's that do the family like me oh my god why is it going down that's it i want to become a rat the tories are not interested stole akira sorrento again i'll definitely give it to the family good luck shifting that and piece of crap nothing wrong with kia sorrentos but in this game nobody wants them for some reason we're all going bird watching apparently i'm going to get whacked aren't i when this head rope is broken when i saw red i thought i was going to die it's like i don't want to die bird watching all right i'm going to try and extort this restaurant for 25 000 the fear is not very high and i'm trying to get 25 grand toilet paper his house no fire bomb his house he still refused to jesus christ all right well at least i got to burn a house down oh no why do you keep calling me in oh wait you'll be safe as long as you continue to be useful to the family i feel like i've done everything my entire life for this family and they don't care like should we do some team building exercises like sing a song together or something you know we are family like can i even get any perks out of this like look my father's there can i no i can't even call a contract on him like what's the point in being in the mob if i had just kept all the money in myself for my crime i'd be a millionaire oh no the captain wants to go get facials with him i guess i'm down for that okay do they like me now please like the relationship is going up but the standing is still so low last year's contribution alone was 72 000 and i've been here 18 years my membership card is old enough to drink and i haven't got a promotion the skipper died thank god maybe the new person will like me more my relationship with this new skipper is really high they're a mcgregor but charfeket your boss has ordered you to pull off a hit on a starbucks barista who accidentally poured decaf jesus they're a bit sensitive aren't they maybe you should have a coffee and think about it some people are really nasty before their coffee in the morning but i'm gonna whack him with a vacuum sealed coffin jesus christ all right she encased him in a vacuum sealed body bag and left him to suffocate he died jesus christ that was probably just some college kid who was overworked and underpaid oh well they're underground now harsh finally my standing is starting to go up you know that i'm in such a good mood i could steal lamborghini please work yes contributed to the family only 18 grand shitty lamborghini family associate wants to go binge watch the sopranos with you i mean that is my middle name i'm down for that your boss has ordered you to awkwardly stand next to a member of the mcgregor family and whisper sweets nothing's in his ear all day i'm going to get shot dude what are you trying to do make up an excuse oh sake you're giving me this prompt which means i really shouldn't do it but i've done everything no questions and it never comes back good all right do it i didn't get shot so that's that's a good thing at least i have a weird job bob you better be careful because seven seven and a half thousand is kill bob a pat on the back showed you his appreciation by letting you ride in the front seat of his car i'm not a nine-year-old like i want a promotion i don't want to ride up front oh man my standing is flying up at least so i am getting somewhere soldier you're a soldier now you were an associate and you joined after me i'm pretty sure he's an informant by the way he keeps wanting to watch the sopranos and stuff and he's getting a promotion should i call him out i feel like i need to do something big what if i just ask for a promotion they're gonna hate it aren't they if i ask for a promotion like they're gonna just kill me it's like i've been working here for how long 25 years i'm just wondering is it anything to do with the fact that i'm not irish like are all them irish do you need to be irish to join the irish mob i definitely shouldn't have this in my in my search history this is this is bad i'm being added to a list here okay there's nothing about it here needing to be irish so maybe they just hate me your father has been whacked by your syndicate's rival the mcgregor family can i at least get some money oh yes look at that lots of money i nearly have a million in the bank i'm fed up with my job i gotta be honest with you lance this irish mob business is pretty giving you the best years of my life and what have you given me a pat on the back and the opportunity to ride up front wait what monkey tommy lee was a confidential informant i should have known it what real mobster goes there you want to watch the sopranos cooperate with authorities 26 fecking years all right we're going to escape where is feckin monkey whatever his face is i should be able to escape look at this i can just walk out look at that all right where's feckin manky he's probably disappeared into the wind by now but you see what i mean you gave him a promotion and then i'm just here doing everything for you and you give me nothing i can't even hire a hitman to find him there's no way they got away with that are you serious hey you know what i'm just going to ask you i want a promotion your boss we willy o'hara told you to enjoy the good old days while they last well then i'm going to kill you willie where are you willy o'hara where is it whack him out jammed in the junkyard whack him yes you stuffed him into the trunk of account crushed it with a junkyard compactor he died yes all right how about that promotion now they're like the guy you just asked disappeared so we kind of have our suspicions no one would ever expect the man with the evil mustache though right all right can i just like get out of the country i want to flee where should i go zimbabwe might be good actually there we go i stopped reporting to the family and i haven't created zimbabwe can i run for office here pick your platform crime i know a lot about it oh i was unable to make it on the ballot i spent a hundred thousand dollars in zimbabwe for that be sure to subscribe to vote for kevin i will represent you poorly but i will represent you all right this zimbabwe life isn't all it's cracked up to be let me go back no don't move back to brooklyn your son egypt like you could have gone anywhere cooperate i guess oh man i should have just stayed out of the country i kind of forgot to be honest that i i killed all those people and i was wanted for murder et cetera all right let me try and emigrate again russia yeah let's go yes okay i'm in russian now can i be a politician here run for mayor of uh it's in six years okay what about local office spend a hundred thousand how will you treat your opponent be downright nasty yay i want it buy a lot actually a teacher is offering you 20 bucks to let him have the hot classroom next to the hot teacher what 20 bucks like i have no problem with being bribed but that is insulting your friend tommy lee passed away my friend the guy who ratted on me he died after being mummified well it's good that they got you all right i had very successful run there can i be mayor now i'll just put so much money into this like five hundred pounds now four hundred thousand yeah let's be uh green i guess i wasn't the irish mob so it kind of works and be downright nasty to my opponent i won i started rumor that she was stealing sugar packets from from starbucks and it worked out you're over here when the housekeepers admit she entered your country illegally is working out of these ever deported people love me here for some reason all right i did very well being the mayor so i'm just gonna resign there i think it's best because it's only gonna go downhill right i'm going back to the united states why do you keep going back to brooklyn ah run dude run yes all right time to get murdering all these people honestly murder a random youtuber no please no wait what you've been beaten by the modern family they popped your hair detached your calf and shattered your foot what the all right i'm going to kazakhstan there we go i'm in kazakhstan but now i don't know what to do oh wait what the i saw a magician stealing a child so i said i'd intervene and then he shot my romp i died i got shot by a magician in kazakhstan he was trying to kidnap a child that is some really dark magic a troublesome young fellow godfather's hard work paid off when he became the mayor of st petersburg that was definitely the bright spot in his life he just moved away from all the crime and went into political crime instead he was a miserable bastard though he hated his life no i'm gonna make you a lover you cannot refuse please subscribe to me please subscribe if you enjoyed the video i appreciate you all watching folks i really do i hope you enjoyed it and i hope to see you next time bye for [Music] now

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 1,114,591

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, funny, funny moments, comedy, lets play, gameplay, gaming, bitlife, bit life, call me kevin bitlife, bitlife but, new bitlife, mobile game, new mobile game, app game, new app game, mobile, app, new, sim, new sim, sims, simulators, simulator

Id: EOYZpj2N4Mk

Length: 19min 32sec (1172 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 23 2021