I became god in Bitlife and here is what happened

hey there friends how's it going my name is kevin and today we are playing a bit life and we're not just playing any bit life today i will be the lord himself literally the lord ah that's the penance for the blasphemy it's okay i'm catholic i'm allowed to do this i would assume his name is the lord and he's from cork ireland it's starting to look worse and worse right now so he tells me he might be trying to fool people like red hair is just common in ireland okay red eyes select your attributes all right all the main ones hundred percent karma put that down to zero wait what does that actually change because i don't want karma for doing the bad things i'm gonna do karma helps a player live longer and get through tough situations easier things that decrease karma arguing assaulting crime insulting not saving a life in danger passing on stds cheating on a lover going to prison skipping a funeral trying drugs trying to get away with bad things done in our life anything that is bad how have my characters live past the age of six alright star thus life i was born a male in cork ireland i was an accidental pregnancy the father's just like oh my god immaculate conception that is amazing wow and it's like some devil child achieve perfect stats perfection i don't think i really achieved that my mom and dad divorced and my happiness immediately plummeted to 50 but he still got this little smirk it took seven years but the dad finally went wait a minute immaculate conception are you sure you didn't cheat on me geez it didn't take long for mom to move on he's got lots of money though so i'm okay with that and i'll call stepfather teddy hamilton oh no that's awful yeah go with that i got the comic cold now oh wait my father's getting married now as well okay he's happy my mom's happy i'm sick please take care of the lord what like called stepmother woman i'm just happy to be doing a pit life in ireland because you're not going to understand any of the names like this one sailors say arse williams that's searsha by the way don't say i never taught you anything you can say i never thought you anything useful that is factual but you can't say i didn't teach you anything evil's stepmother damn you woman your stepmother embarrassed you by intentionally leaving her giant dildo on the living room floor when your friend's over what's wrong with her tell my father he will divorce you his concern is huge thank you all right time to get a job give me priest job where is it marriage counselor that could be good i mean it's got a picture of a church i have no education but maybe you look past that since my name is literally the lord no well you're lost you're an idiot now i'm gonna mope around for a year without working [Music] oh no oh no um let's just ignore that exorcist yes what are you looking for in a new position an opportunity to make the world better yes the lord is now an exorcist oh no stop it can we use an exorcist on whatever this is all right the lord needs money and the lord works in mysterious ways let's look at the stepfather with a load of money and edit him let's just put that generosity way up his money's 98 and i can change it let's just whoop perfect religiousness would he would he give me money if i made this 100 no probably the opposite is needed at least his health and happiness is at zero that's fantastic we'll put his craziness up to a hundred maybe he'll do something wacky and die all right now surely he won't last too long right let's hope he can't see without his glasses just take off his glasses there we go did oliver lord great name divorce the other lady it must have been he must have she's just gone i guess the giant dildo on the living room floor was the last straw your friends are all joining youtube here's your moment and i got a raise they're clearly threatened by the youtube account like the lord has made a youtube account oh my god i asked my stepfather for money and he gave me 20 grand okay that generosity is really helpful actually while at the dog park you see a man getting mauled by a vicious dog what will you do the lord says look the other way judge not lest ye be judged i don't think that applies here but i'm gonna roll with it while performing an exorcism you get a phone notification that your favorite shoe store is having a blowout sale what will you do take a break and order some shoes the ghosts can wait they're not going anywhere that's the [ __ ] problem what about my real dad can you give me money you're just useless aren't you and mom gave me 200. [ __ ] useless you know what i am going to edit you mom there goes your happiness learn to be more giving and now off to college total cost 58 000. oh my god yes i'm enrolled oh no i'm sick already you've also been finding yourself confused about things that should not be confusing you i mean that happens to me all the time i'm confused by generally everything my half brother callum married grognak to destroyer 20 year old police officer i graduated yes seek higher education again wait can i not is vet school higher education business school maybe oh my god the price of it all right apply for a student loan this seems like a bad idea i'm gonna lose so much money yes oh the lord answered my prayers my dad's dead your father passed away at the age of 76 and i got 176 000 euros even even better i want to work at assistant vice president i don't even know where the job is i just like the title i lack the necessary requirements what but i i went to business school why are you rejecting me stock broker offers you some cocaine i'll invest in that you're now addicted to cocaine fantastic it's like all right fine i'll accept something lower 70 grand a year that sounds fine i just rejected you to a failed drug test why are you all testing for drugs okay bishop perfect they won't accept me i'm literally called the lord and you won't even interview me i know it seems a bit on the nose but you should at least try me out what about an escort there's superior candidates for the job why go to higher education and cheat so that i look magnificent if i can't even get a job i'd like to think this is just a cv the lord male 36 single unemployed addicted to cocaine location park ireland look we're going to the big apple that's what i'm calling the united states in general now by the way why can i not go to canada then let's try canada we live in canada now and i'm depressed take that canadians a job recruiter thinks a junior app developer is a good fit for me i literally don't even understand technology i've not done anything like that i'm dead oh my god that was like one of the worst lives ever i died from a cocaine overdose now we're the devil i'm pretty sure we were to begin with anyway rumble with this person i didn't even look at it head butter stomach i'm just attacking people left right and center scratch his forehead oh it was turg too i didn't realize okay i graduated from high school i have a fever just pray it away go into nursing how about that i got expelled from bad grades your smears are nearly 100 why are you failing he looks like a humble shepherd why is he the devil head the lord looks literally like the devil i got hired as a monk i can't see this going wrong young child asks you if santa claus is real tell the truth crush them right who do you know oh you got a big family don't you they all look like devils all right start using your devil powers plummet the health of your parents in fact let's just do it for the whole family he wants to be alone for a while [Music] my sister trying to fight with me i sold her her health is weak you missed oh god damn it the devil will not stand for this editor attributes craziness full happiness no looks no just plummeted everything on her there you go isabella don't mess with me ever again she wants to get up some mischief with me oh you've seen what i'm capable of now oh she has money and her name is rebel it's perfect if we marry her name will be rebel devil that's a lovely name and she's in real estate perfect the devil loves that oh she already has loads of money but we're just gonna edit all of these actually maybe keep her stupid otherwise she'll leave me all right hopefully she's pregnant now goddammit i got fired as a monk why i've broken my vow of celibacy i forgot about that and now she's arguing because i was fired you knew i was a monk it takes two to tango rebel you can't just rebel and then complain when you get caught rebel argued with me because i was fired from my job i assured her it wouldn't happen again well it can't because it's gone like they can't fire me twice yes she's pregnant keep the baby i'm gonna name him tasmanians who's tasmanian devil a job is a bartender fine i guess i am losing a lot of money i immediately quit took a student loan and now i'm going to college i got arrested for drawing boobs on street signs with my sister a year in prison i have a newborn at home you can't leave me off i tried to join a gang my first year in prison but there's no gangs because it's like minimum security prison rehabilitated and my girlfriend broke up with me great charge her head bought her neck i missed it's probably for the best and she killed me she killed the devil i got the ribbon wasteful what's that even for i got this by living my full life that is sad even if you live past zero you can still get it if you surrender and don't do anything prominent in your life i was trying continuous tasmanian luckily we have another chance as the tasmanian devil wait did i inherit my father's death i'm depressed well no [ __ ] wonder if i was five years old and someone came up kevin you've just inherited 70 grand worth of death okay you're probably gonna live in debt the rest of your life which most likely won't be very long anyway enjoy your day at school i don't think i'd be very happy and now i have the measles thanks dad for not vaccinating me appreciate that by the way i'm dead oh my god i want a depressing life all right how about this slash knock smith he's coming to life and he's gonna wreck havoc everything is full he is all powerful good lord he looks like someone who'd be trying to rob a train in the 1890s all right immediately edit my sister i don't want any competition here put her health and happiness way down and now we'll pick a fight with her headbutt her skull goddamn i missed she bashed my skull oh that's it i'm coming back oh my god he looks like a demon child to bite her neck how can you miss that okay roundhouse kick this one's good roundhouse kick her skull yes she smacks my throat okay she's actually gonna kill me if i keep going i better stop making my parents rich generous and stupid their health is just super low i'm just trying to get them killed i want your money someone's bullying me attack why do you keep doing this like it's a bad idea if only i had any accuracy could parents could you please get me glasses i couldn't hit the side of a barn which is probably a good thing because i keep trying to hit children but i just can't manage it he misses every time there should be at least seven dead children in his class you've been expelled from turk middle school i've been enrolled at default default middle school finally they're taking me to get an eye exam it took long enough just don't do anything i need glasses i want something that makes a statement something elton john like like i'm making them all stupid and crazy why are they not dying i went to the school nurse with a headache and the nurse offers you morphine good lord i'm addicted to morphine fantastic look at him he looks so stereotypically evil all right glass knock it's time for the purge we need mom and dad to die we need to start with the sister though rumble with her stamp her face that should do it i knocked her out and she squashed my waist and killed me immediately she was unconscious you died after sustaining massive injuries in an assault oh why is it so hard to play god okay since it seems to be working out for my family i'm making the reject with a zero in absolutely everything there we go look at that for a start i'm suffering from e coli i am depressed i'm four just to remind you it's been a rough four years i'm suffering from whooping cough i am dead at the age of six how come everyone else is fine when i plummet their stats but when i plummet mine i immediately die all right try it again the reject same thing whooping cough dead it's two it's impossible to get past the age of two okay i'm two i'm flu and i'm three with the flu i'm depressed i'm six though and i've got the mumps your classmate called me kevin just peed in the corner of the classroom while your teacher mrs nix wasn't looking laugh at him he's so funny okay perfect we're reaching the age of 14. this is a miracle i graduated oh my god fantastic i was rejected for university become a marine i wonder why i was rejected my depression is cured i'm immediately happy at the age of 21 for no reason i'm depressed again okay now to test it the other way i'll edit my mom and just make her amazing at everything not crazy super generous super happy health is full looks is full perfect that's done now we'll see how long she lasts oh my god why would you give me that alert i don't get paid enough my skin is scaling in several places it doesn't bother me dry skin doesn't bother me honestly the least of my concerns i'm editing my boss so that she might actually like me she called you a nasty little come on dude i've had a rough life there's no need for that how is the reject who is on the verge of death at all times making the most money and has lived the longest the reject wants to go on a horse-drawn carriage ride but is afraid the horse will poop let's try and diaper the horse i'm amazed he didn't die are you sure you want to kiss your cousin on the lips go for it i got smacked in the mouth when i tried kissing my cousin under the mistletoe he seems resilient to everything he reminds me of mr burns where he has too many illnesses at once and they're all fighting each other so none can really take hold he stared a rumor that i'm in the japanese yakuza i started a rumor at him that he steals food so he attacked me with a hatchet and i still live he just happened to miss this guy is just unstoppable can't think of anyone to sue he attacked me with a hatchet i don't understand he's 58 he's wealthy he's a hundred percent happy but he's an idiot he looks terrible and his health is just awful all right we gotta really test this we're gonna attack mr seaman for changing my desktop picture to a picture of gwen paltrow lunge at him i missed oh now i'm getting pulled into the office even though he tried to attack me with a hatchet oh no my girlfriend's breaking up with me because i have a unibrow even though i clearly don't in the picture the reject give loads of money do you want to like i don't know buy a boat or something treat yourself i don't know dude you just seem to be sailing through life so it's kind of fitting performance jet boat i passed my boating test by just guessing he just gets so lucky through everything proposed at a funeral all you go for it oh she rejected it oh she accepted this time okay finally something bad happens to him well no i shouldn't say that a lot of bad stuff is happening to him it just seems to just not really affect him even though he is miserable all the time his health is awful he's an idiot and he looks horrible but he just somehow gets through it he's 73 finally you've died 74 years of pain and you die sleeping peacefully how did he live the longest out of all of them and have the most success in life it says he's mediocre but compared to the rest he is a god oh yeah we are going to leave it there i hope you enjoyed i appreciate you watching as always hope to see you next time bye for now shout out to patreons of navishtell abigail alexia adam o'neill aj province alex roland alexandria alice wilton alenia wolfe child almighty peanut amanda k anaconda kiwi andrew white angel and tony mccleese annette ooh yeah apollo the kid aerial killman randall perez ashley murphy audrey lushron austin tasey wickham autumn jurgens boland bacon boy beauty 9-1-1 becky dodd bengan 10 benjamin berlin black crow and blue

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 1,490,504

Keywords: kevin, callmekevin, kevin1811, funny, moments, gameplay, lets, play, game, cmk, clips, bitlife, bitlife challenge, playing bitlife, bitlife life simulator, bitlife god mode, bitlife politics, bitlife game, bitlife gameplay, bitlife royalty update, bitlife crime, royalty bitlife, bitlife life simulator gameplay, bitlife funny moments, bitlife rich, bitlife callmekevin, bitlife karen, bitlife funny, bit life, bitlife monopoly challenge, bitlife monopoly, bitlife addict, bitlife god

Id: HGe2-2SDiBE

Length: 15min 23sec (923 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 20 2020