Bitlife but I'm a filthy capitalist

hey there friends how's it going my name is kevin and today we are playing bit life where we'll be taking on the role of monopoly men and trying to buy up as much property as we can and just become the best capitalist we can be oh all right let's start a new life okay my name is literally gonna be monopoly man i was looking for a place of origin and it randomly picked place that's convenient i'll do that third monopoly's life oh god it's gonna be the longest game monopoly ever there's gonna be so much anger i'm depressed and i'm only what are you my six goddamn i don't have enough capitalism in my life so i'm depressed well i look awful and i feel awful while reading in your class you look up and see your classmate ava eating a piece of candy that was sitting on the teacher's desk charger for some reason and uppercut her neck the damage wait turg is starting to bully me beckon turgter do you not think this is a bad idea i attack people for eating candy when they shouldn't be and my parents have divorced probably my fault realistically look how pissed off he looks he looks so sad turn that frown upside down oh no wait don't do that that's terrifying your friends are all joining youtube what will you do sign up it's a good idea trust me my mother remarried okay great he's lots of money i'm gonna need that soon now even stepfather you're wondering how to address him just call him dude just become an escort in direct bombshells i got rejected why he's so moody i need a job if i want to become the best capitalist to ever capitalize yes i got a job as an exorcist great lots of siblings to beg for money yes they're all giving me money you're not getting this back by the way i hope you understand this is not alone i was gonna try and ask this three-year-old for some money please okay look at all that money i just begged for and that cured me of depression who says you can't buy happiness huh this is when he discovered his true love money oh my god i i found a good job that'll give me a lot of money for being a cameraman i don't need education but the question is which of these cookies do you like the best i can't choose just one surely that'll get me yes that got me the job 52 grand a year now you're intently working at the computer and suddenly there's snickering behind you you turn to witness their co-worker nick has reached inside your gym bag and is now holding your soiled boxes no look i'm just so dedicated to my job that i just do it where i sit i had a talk with him and then he attacked me okay can i can i do something about this can i sue him i can't think of anyone to sue right now he just hit me with a frying pan and i'm like god god i wish there was someone i could sue around here i got promoted oh i guess this is kind of like uh look could you just keep this on the down low we'll give you a promotion look how sad nick looks i outrank him now your mother has asked you to take her to take a nap in a bed at a furniture store i'm a bit too busy being a capitalist right now to spend time with my mother thank you all right we have 67 000 what can i invest this in maybe we should invest in a bit of property you know start buying up the lesser squares like the little light blues or the browns or something they pay off you know i do kind of want to buy this paddle ball though that's pretty cheap yeah i'll buy that thank you the first thing i've ever bought in life was a 130 dollar paddle boat that is almost broken the fact that i worked hard for it makes it so much more enjoyable you know in that little oversized washing basin on the river okay manufactured home condition pretty good yeah buy it with cash yes i bought a home you tried to start a conversation with your supervisor dark about who makes the best bitlight videos on youtube okay he told you to shut up and get back to work can i afford another house yet i want another house but i can afford this condo or a loft a studio i could afford the loft and the studio brown squares brown squares brown squares stepsister quality time i know the internet too well to know that that is a bad idea but you just realized that your co-worker rachel stole your personal belongs and put them up for sale inside a vending machine what what is wrong with the people at my work and they even give me the little clown emoji because i'm such a fool i'm reporting you to my supervisor he told me to get back to work why does my supervisor hate me they won't promote me i i feel like i'm in a dead-end job even though i'm getting paid a lot but i just want more money dirk feckin hates me i'm never gonna move up the rank give him a gift wait what they're launching an investigation for me trying to give him an air purifier someone attacked me and you did nothing he still works here i can buy another home yeah a town home look at that that is lovely buy it with cash my god my paddle boat sinking endless money into it it keeps breaking can someone give me some money i'm here i own like four properties and i just keep asking for more and more money he gave me 1500. oh but mom gave me more sorry i was just about to say you're better than the stepdad but mom gave me a lot so i need another profession i think why do i need work experience of being a foot model it's totally different i knew i should have started an only fans for my feet and it will come in handy what about my supervisor give me a promotion please yes ask for a promotion he has no more positions available so i can't even climb but i need more money do you understand how much the dark blues cost all right apply for this apprentice camera man are you a goal-oriented person um uh smart goals um i love working oh no yes i got the job and my co-workers immediately starting rumors about me why why are you like this maybe by buying up more of the neighborhood i'll earn their respect i'm not even like renting these out oh i got a promotion though that's good i'm a cameraman again i was a cameraman i took a job as an apprentice camera and then they promoted me to cameraman oh no my paddleboard needs to repair boss i need a raise 11 bucks my guy is still a child i think this has been such a stressful few years i'm going to take the paddle boat out i think look at that he loves his paddleboard every few years he takes it out has the time of his life all right you know what i think it's time we try and move up in the world i love being a cameraman gives me lots of money i've plenty of property i'd like more if i could but i think i need a new job to really push the limit of what i can do as monopoly man my net worth is only 293 000. i need more i need to at least hit a million mom stop trying to hang out with me i'm busy i told you seven years ago i don't have time for this okay olivia over here is trying to force us to buy thin mints to support her toddler's girl scout troop you know what i'm reporting you i tried to give someone a gift and i got reported i'm reporting you your supervisor jamilia called you a bird brain great fantastic i can't win no matter what i do my only solution is to try and kill my boss i think yeah he's willing to pull off the hit yeah hire him yes he used a flamethrower could have probably been a bit more subtle but it worked yes look at this dash guy look at how cool he looks yo guys i'm dash and i'm going to give you all raises and everything he told me to shut up i'll kill you next i'm so miserable again and now my dad died as well oh he gave me lots of money though that's kind of cool oh my paddleboard it needs a repair this is the worst thing that happened all day sorry i can't make dad's funeral i gotta repair my paddle boat it's like 30 years old now at this point all right lingerie model might be a good step but i'm gonna have to look really good for this i just want something with a high ceiling that i can you know work my way up porn writer that's not bad pay for that let's get a lot of surgery first it's what dad would have wanted oh god there's so much i'll just say one of everything there i'm looking good now 89 keep going doc what more can you do all right now try and write some pornography ah i'm not the type of individual they're looking for what about model my guy looks so good he doesn't need experience they answered the phone and laughed in my face why no my paddle boat is no longer sea worthy and it's beyond repair why do i have to scrap it why can't i bury it or something at least give me an opportunity to mourn while filming christian bale you realize you're about to sneeze which you know will infuriate the actor you know what let it go let the spotlight shine on me for a change i've been feeling like i'm one problem away from a total meltdown it's just in there mixed in his little bio my net worth is over half a million now hmm all right let's throw the money into a ranch style home for now so at least that can be appreciating much like my paddle boat did for me what would i have done without my paddle boat while eating at a restaurant you see a woman breastfeeding a child who appears to be about five years old youtube that i recorded a video of a woman breastfeeding a five-year-old child in a restaurant and then shared it on social media that's the highlight of his life i think if i can't get a promotion can i at least have a raise or something dash is aging horribly by the way not like monopoly man here he looks the same as he did when he was 15 but no race huh well how about i go work for someone else they probably welcome it since everyone in my job hates me look at this almost a hundred grand a year oh porn actor apply ah i don't meet the requirements all right what about the better cameraman job then do you prefer to call or text i prefer to talk in person i was rejected okay all right sorry millennials sorry for being a boomer while out for a walk you see a lady tied to railroad tracks what will you do look the other way [Laughter] look life's been unfair on me it's time for me to deal out some of these unfair situations what if we just try and be a better person somehow i don't know how i would do that maybe if i was in a relationship of some sort no you don't have money you're not my type uh find another date no not enough money oh that's more like it and real estate as well ah yes good job dating that lady what's her name oh you two are made for each other because she has money and you love money have a conversation this is risky because anytime i open my mouth people hate me my entire life she liked it and we had a stupid conversation about celebrity doppelgangers and she loved it your best friend jack confessed to you that he is cocaine in the bathroom at work report him he attacked me he severed my booty not my booty can i sue him now is that possible i would like to sue him for severing my booty please damage is 50 grand yes fine microphone let's go ring shopping and try and propose here uh this is an investment she has a lot of money this one alexander wright ring at a lakeside hike how could you resist she accepted yes money really is the cure to everything i have proven this you're thinking about whether you should make your fiance sign a pre-nuptial oh i don't know because i have more money but i want her money i mean i don't know what to do because i don't want to piss her off either i guess try the prenup route yes she was happy with it it's asking me about names and i just realized that my name is mr man imagine trying to make a phone call yes hello this is uh mr man they just hang up immediately every time a workplace annoyance or reporter once again i get in trouble she was trying to force her political beliefs upon me i complain and i get in trouble as always i'm getting the feeling that they just hate capitalism for some reason you're all a bunch of commies i don't think my guy is very likable if he's actually saying the stuff i'm picturing him to say do i prefer to call or text um i like both i like anything on my phone fellow millennials rejected oh god damn it let's try this one apprentice camera a 93k still getting paid more than me what type of work environment do you prefer one that embraces teamwork yes that's the job i got it and mr mann what would you do if we don't embrace teamwork oh well that's easy i'd hire a hitman to kill my supervisor and change up the work environment good answer you're in look at this neutral the best i can hope for when it comes to people liking me like you could say oh they just met you how could they like you on the reverse side how could they hate me i just started here and it's all neutral or hate one or the other oh i called him a diamond in the rough and he liked it he told me i'm smooth thank you for noticing it takes like two hours of shaving every morning your eye is feeling irritated and when you go to scratch it you discover the liquid draining out of the socket it's a tear i'm crying because someone finally likes me i got an interview for a voice actor oh my god this is actually my dream which of these secret powers would you most like to possess this is a weird question i think time travel i became an actor and took a massive hit to my financial stability don't start rumors about me please i just started i'm reporting you your supervisor jesus told you get back to work jesus is my supervisor your mother passed away yes inheritance i'm going to buy a ram because dr phil keeps promoting ranch and i feel like it's going to increase in value reject it all right fine whatever i didn't want a ranch anyway dr phil won't shut up about it i've been offered a nude scene in a voice acting role that's weird so i'm just sitting there at the mic naked fantastic i instantly got a raise this is great news you notice that your hair is starting to show increasingly more gray i've been bald for a decade right i desperately need more property i need more squares on the board i need to make a full set i'm getting raises but i just i want a better job like i want to make a lot more money not a little more money i got promoted to actor fantastic my health has taken a massive drop for some reason though and my happiness i just got super anxious maybe i don't like being on camera i've been behind the camera my entire life i gotta do something how can i make myself happy oh my god i actually have to [ __ ] read the whole thing oh my god are you serious it's gonna take ages [Music] his happiness better [ __ ] skyrocket after this i could have actually write a book and all this time enjoyment oh that's just great i'm not earning enough money to invest loads more and my guy it's really unhealthy and unhappy i'm worried he's gonna die his net worth is over a million though let's try and push this even further but first i'm gonna treat him buy yourself a fishing canoe yes i'm the owner of a fishing canoe he'll love this this is why he's depressed he misses his paddleboat 100 happiness two canoe rides is all it took to be happy again i'm no longer suffering from depression i am no longer suffering from anxiety you heard it here first buy a battle boat let's get some surgery and try and get a lead acting role yes 100 looks this is perfect ignore my health don't look at that statistic i'll just do like a movie role or a short series not like a long commitment or anything so if i die it'll be over with you you don't need to worry about that and plus more people will probably go to see it if monopoly man was dead by the time it came out i can't seem to get a new job they always just laugh at me and if i ask for promotion he keeps laughing at me as well yeah look he laughed at me again need more money might be time to kill the wife you're 62 come on die already where's that hitman are you still alive could you do another hit you were really good last time and may i say excellent value for money 19 500 name agent 47 you're in using a canister of mace not sure how you manage that one but good job stop it down your throat i inherited quarter of a million this is great news i am depressed however so it's time to go out in the canoe for a while yeah that's great i feel great now see the wife was a long-term investment and that paid off all right i got a new supervisor and i didn't kill the old one or anything then this one kind of likes me i'm gonna pay her a compliment she loved it alexa called me adorable i don't know that one that's a good excuse not to call me adorable oh my god the supervisor is asking to hook up yes this is great news yes look at that for once a supervisor loves me maybe literally actually loves me hey now that you love me can i have a promotion rejected oh but she'd love to she said okay what about a raise then i was rejected what's the point in loving me if you don't give me money why can you get so much money from acting all of a sudden please someone give me a job i need this money do you handle conflict well i've been handling it well all my life i've only killed two people and that wasn't even because they attacked me or anything i i didn't even fight back when people attacked me i got the job two and a half million a year finally my moment is now oh now people are interested in me aren't you oh well you have a lot of money and you're 82 years old so yeah go for it let's date look at all this money time to buy stuff a haunted cape cod home yes i want that buy it with cash it's a fantastic investment i should really exercise more oh by the way my step sister died i'm gonna go get my nails done just anything to feel a bit better look my health is going up this is great your girlfriend died please give me the money i've been released from my position as actor for new orleans films because i cry too much it's a rom-com i'm supposed to cry beg him to stay please no can i sue you i'm miserable now i only got up to five million look how unhappy he is that would not work on the cover of monopoly at all lawsuit yeah new orleans films i want 2 million in damages and i'm paying 600 000 for my defense i lost my lawsuit i just lost 600k i am depressed new orleans films do you want to hire me back okay sorry sorry for bothering you oh god they're all new orleans films i shouldn't have sued them i got a tattoo and it made me a bit happier and then i died oh that's sad but i got the ribbon rich i had a net worth of 7 million which wasn't too bad actually that's not too bad monopoly man for once you lived up to your name well we learned one thing today money doesn't make you happy but a paddle boat sure does i hope you enjoyed the video if you did i post every single day so subscribe if you like me if not i'm not offended uh but yeah i hope you enjoyed appreciate as always and i hope to see you next time bye for now

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 1,386,705

Keywords: kevin, callmekevin, kevin1811, funny, moments, gameplay, lets, play, game, cmk, clips, bitlife, bitlife challenge, playing bitlife, bitlife life simulator, bitlife god mode, bitlife politics, bitlife game, bitlife gameplay, bitlife royalty update, living my bitlife, bitlife crime, royalty bitlife, bitlife life simulator gameplay, bitlife funny moments, bitlife rich, bitlife callmekevin, bitlife karen, bitlife funny, bit life, bitlife monopoly challenge, bitlife monopoly

Id: g9aLr8JYTeI

Length: 17min 54sec (1074 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 30 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/DrumpfTinyHands]

So yeah, over this holiday weekend I've gotten into watching the stream archives in the background of making dinner and breaking up fights between my son and Call of Duty games. ( There's a good reason that I've refused to buy him headphones) I've come to notice that there is no final stream of The Forest w/ Max. I need to find out what happened. I need to know if they got out of the Forest or got ate by those swimming, jumping babies. I need to know.