Bitlife but I become a criminal mastermind

hey the friends has gone my name is Kevin and today we're playing more bit life I am glad that you all seem to be enjoying bit life because I know I am and today I want to be a very successful criminal that's right successful I've done crime in the past in other lives but it never seems to go too well usually I end up dying in jail of tuberculosis I died just clarify I've never done crime in this light I mean I did steal like some candy from a pick-and-mix before when I was like 12 felt pretty guilty about it to be honest anyway let's get started my name is gonna be tug life I'm being upfront with what I'm getting into here step dog's life my mother is Natalie life a chemical engineer my father is unknown I have an older half-brother named Keenan and looks like I'm not very bright but that doesn't matter can I just drop out of school it's not really needed for what I'm doing she won't let me drop out wish my dad would be here so he'd let me drop out alright I'm sixteen can I drop out yet like I don't need it I already have my whole life planned out mom there yo I dropped out alright commit a crime immediately the train from high school I know but I'm dropping out I have a plan there's a train dirt the Pacific Railway touch they didn't show up alright there's always another train don't worry right midnight the southern Wildcat line it didn't show up could I get a timetable or something that'd be handy right I'm just guessing when these trains are appearing I how about we go one step down from a train robbery to behave delinquent Lee with a random clown you want a clown broke into your neighbor's house while they weren't home to play their new video game system I got sent to juvie damn it I should have committed to the Train the trains just don't show up is there even trains I've never seen a train in real life are they just a myth it's possible okay someone online is seeing if to match the time exactly so can I change the time on my device here will that work I want to rob the Train of 420 so can we do that wait start a new life no no no no what about what about saga no it's not life I don't wanna be Nolan how are we done it's all fake quick oh my God he's so stupid keep going just do anything it doesn't matter go go he was suffering from lice I'd have more important things to worry about like the fact that my Smacks is in the red exclamation marks to it oh my god I have depression but I take some time off I don't know let's rob a train at 4:20 p.m. Robert Wow twelve million dollars that cured by depression fast what does dog life do with twelve million dollars I mean he robbed in got away with it what's the point doing more crime other than for enjoyment of course I mean he's 12 percents mad he's not just gonna go off and buy an island I'm going to adopt the child why it didn't accept me why because I'm 18 I'm ready what can I use this money for I could play the lottery no it's probably not a good idea I'll lose it all knowing me I need more CeMAT if I'm gonna be committing a crime so how do I get smart what if we go to the gym and do some brain exercises oh god I think I might need the spirits what can i buy I want to live in a mansion climax Realtors yeah they seem legit yeah give me a [ __ ] mansion fight with cash oh I thought my driving license I forgot I said like that a cross road sign means hospital ahead surely I can get out of any crime now that I'm rich but I should probably get my driving license first though because I want to be able to do drive-bys yeah Rolls Royce oughta do me all right I got a Rolls Royce and a mansion and I still have ten and a half million you're no longer suffering from depression what money does buy happiness after all I could probably murder someone who were my family I didn't even look it just spammed through my childhood your application to adopt the child has been rejected due to finances I have ten million dollars are you saying of too much money to have a child all right I think we should rob a bank I need more money then I'll be more happy if this game has taught me anything I think you're born arrow ought to do it take your disguise I think a mummy yeah okay great I'm escaping in my own car I can't see any issue with this rob the bank you were caught I guess I shouldn't be surprised yes I happy to fix ice I was on my way to a fancy dress so it was big misunderstanding I'm gonna go back to the same Bank oh my god now I can pick better weapons a chain saw of course it's Darth Vader stop arresting me I have too much money for you to be able to convict me we need to commit another crime but murdering my sisters you know distract the police so I can get away with the robbery there we go we poisoned a tea and she died okay now while the cops are distracted let's hit that Bank Herald and fast oh my god a stun gun disguised as shrek it's perfect this is the time I get away with it yes shrek get away with $43,000 no one would write her shrek and no one can i gamble some of this money I think I could make a profit on this make your bet two and a half million no wait five million I'd still have five million left and if I win I'll get fifty million deal me in I feel like I'm making worse decisions than I did last time and last time it was decided by a random number generator although I do what a twelve he's got a ten I hate this game where's the number generator when you need it all right you know I'll put in another million just to get some back I hate this go away now I need to commit more crime all right a neighbor's mail that'll get me back in there plus the people orders stuff worth like 1 or 2 million right I live in a mansion I'm going over to my neighbor's mansion to steal from them it contained a nutribullet blender the paunch i'm--you 52 bucks oh it's gonna take a lot of porch pirating to get back all that money I lost to the casino you've been convicted of Grand Theft Auto and murder and sentenced to death by electric chair what execution date 30th birthday no no no no no no there's been a big mistake I I was just you know I can't make up a defense where's my lawyer this is why I pay them money appeal with these people the expense I lost the appeal what do I pay you for you're all useless bribe the cards yes okay this is bad join a wealthy gang okay I'm in a gang I don't know why I should escape why am I trying to acclimatize to this runaway electrocute me right back and run out the door yeah there we go I'm out I gotta immigrate I've tons of money I didn't get out of this let's get a load of surgery I robbed 12 million on a train got away with it why didn't I just leave I could have just left the contrary they never would have caught me but no I blow over half of it on gambling and I murdered my sister for no reason they approve my immigration request for some reason ok off we go I mean they do have a lot of money they don't extradite people in Portugal do they let me check ok it is not there so I got to get to one of these countries fast I think Ukraine was on that list yes it is we're going to Ukraine they areö up now what crimes can I commit here the death penalty probably should have looked into that first I'm arranging for a hitman for my new friend so reason I just got there I probably met him on the plane he took the middle iron rest when I sat in the middle everyone knows the window gets the view the Isles say a seat gets the extra legroom at the side and the middle gets both armrests and well they took it so we're I'm hiring him and he pulled off the hit on my best friend you see a Gatling gun where your hitman is no trying to kill you with a Gatling on two unless you pay me or just give them the yeah they've given the extra four hundred G's it means nothing to me all that matters is my best friend is dead shoplift a ring video doorbell no I don't want that a Furby dog they'll never suspect the middle-aged man but a mall cops stop me it's a mall cop just charge him you poked his legs oh my god stretched his nose Jesus Christ no not one year in prison I've got money so I can get out of this I love having money this is great a rabbi yes perfect if I'm picking on the religious people for some reason oh no oh no run run I have four dollars in cash his teddy bear who's watching his guitar I feel like this was all stuff with sentimental value which won't go for much yeah I went for $63 all right that's not the most profitable of crimes and grand theft auto is a good one to be fair I could get a Ford Mustang I love Ford Mustangs I have confronted what the hell he's snapped your cheek what you mean he liked your grandmother she just dissed it just snaps it back he squeezed your skull I better not be dead I'm gonna sue the Ford Mustang I'm gonna seek how much a hundred thousand now fifty thousand I think is doable and I'll pay the most expensive lawyer I lost it why just gonna steal this guy in the first place I wanted to hire a hitman to kill him but I guess I'll just kill my friend I thought I already kill this person maybe they just did similar names I'm unable to find a hitman well if you can't get something done then you do something yourself as the saying goes perform a drive-by you see good thing I had that drivers license earlier I'm thinking ahead there we go and I got arrested okay they want three hundred and fifty thousand to get me out of this I can pay that Weiss no I paid like the 305 thousand for that diagnosis depression my other achievement for having a net worth of 2 million I can't wait to get interviews like how did you get a net worth of 2 million well it's easy just start with a net worth of 12 million he's stuck hey I'm out of there let's say I'm a great Serbia that's on the list there we go yep off we go why are they be so cool with me emigrating when I'm a criminal is it just cuz I have tons of money that I'm just pumping into their economy especially the casino business I am willing his dad Vader again a classic and I already had the costume and money's getting a bit tight now so I don't think it's good to invest in new disguises you were caught what the hell is this all about what did I say about crime if you can't do the time then let me go or something I got a job as an exorcist to try and fit in with the local community it's like how did you get your fortune all I'm an exorcist no crime at all try to know why they hired me yeah I know experience I've never worked a day in my life and I burn a home I think he can I priest perfect I'll be like oh yeah that's spirit for you no problem and then I just steal it there we go that's more like it I got a lot of cash for that I think I should be in this for the cash to be fair I have enough cash even though it's going down fast all these co-workers are taking my potential jobs all rightie pulled off the hit using a sickle I want to kill off all my co-workers I cannot find a hitman to kill off these two no wonder I got into the job so easy there seems to be just a gap in the jobs market there's so many jobs and not enough people to fill them there are no children available to adopt well isn't this a perfect world isn't it let me find some children to plop for adoption because I want to make this world a worse place find someone to love find a date yeah fine ask her out I'm dating a great let's have baby now she doesn't want to have a baby all right well how about I give you some money how I'll have a baby with me then give money this will make you love me here's 100 grand yes baby time yeah keep the baby and name it no no life should have been my name really oh I'm out of depression great wait I got into a bad car accident my nipple was ripped what that's it this child is bad luck as the Red Hot Chili Peppers would say give it away give it away give it a now why can't I give it away alright fine have another one then this one can be called [ __ ] [ __ ] life I'm pregnant again what I didn't even ask for this one this one's gonna be called short life okay now that they're above one years old now I can get rid of them so we'll adopt out no life and [ __ ] life is getting abandoned because that's what his name suggests there we go terrible life has just been born fantastic I don't want to be a liar so I'm gonna call a hitman on my son short life two grand what are you gonna do for two grand using a spoon why did you need an investment of 2 grand for that your expenses were virtually nothing all my son passed away skip the funeral oh my god knows trying to kill me with a spoon give me extra money I know that there's children to adopt even though they're my own they won't let me adopt them back if I send my abandoned son Oh whoopee good son [ __ ] whoopee cushion abandon son [ __ ] is arguing with you because you gave my whoopee cushion [ __ ] oh my god she's pregnant again name him meaning of so his name is meaning of life he means everything to me I'll still probably gonna kill them oh my god you're pregnant again how many babies can you have honestly calling this one after a board game the game of life then I'll sue them for using my name I think another grant if thought Oh is called for a Porsche I mean ice yeah I got a Porsche I'm gonna buy a ranch because well my house is back in the States so I kind of need something going for and asked me to marry her I'm not ready for that commitment break up with her how dare she asks that wait one second can we have one more baby know what just cuz they keep abandoning and killing the others doesn't mean we shouldn't have more abandoned this one which one was that our terrible yeah I guess that's fitting terrible life should be abandoned like how am I supposed to enjoy myself if I have a terrible life I'm asking my parents for money and they're actually giving it to me for some reason I'm so wealthy oh oh my god what he severed my eyelid I was just pickpocketing you that's a bit extreme god damn it my looks are really taking a hit from this even though I should be more worried about everything else should I go see someone like I'm really unhappy and really unhealthy am i trying to sue the accountant for that might make me happy money does get us happiness if we learn anything from this yes I got it I tried to rob him and her did make me happy I'm seeing a pattern in this guy's life you know one night stand' she asks you if you'd like to get married I'll she got an abortion without my permission well I'm going to kill her I can't remember which one she is eeny meeny miny moe I'm killing you I found a hitman going by the name of the Winter Soldier this guy's gonna be like 12 I he turned her to be an undercover cop of course he is and I've been convicted of conspiracy to murder and sentenced 34 years in prison oh my god my happiness and health is that a total empty I need to get out really bad okay I know how to do this one there we go I'm out okay I got to do something about my health it's really bad and I don't know why he I'd like to rob another train please ah showed up you were unable to stop it aboard it let's just go to another one it's still 4:20 you're unable to stop it god damn it I thought this must be like a sure thing didn't realize I got lucky this sucks I hate being a criminal okay the trains here just do not run on time obviously I'm gonna get a load of plastic surgery and head back to the States I'd get a penis enlargement goddamn it a budget is perfect reason to sue that'll make me happy well that's been mean I've given the circumstances just get a general reassignment then I should be able to get back into the surgery can I transition to Shrek police old name thunk new name Shrek I am now Shrek life in shrek is love shrek is life my looks and gone up fast I'm just getting every surgery I should probably get that eyelid surgery since one got ripped off apparently okay there we go now I look good and I feel good I'm still not smashing I'm on the verge of death by the looks of it but I have no medical condition I have just 0% health in general just keep spamming the doctor yet yeah treated for depression you keep going just keep going this is like a hundred percent and I'm like yeah I'm depressed give me pills for my hugs is going up that's all that matters stereo everything's a hundred percent except smarts but I can't do anything about then now it's a bit late right now they look and feel good abandoned my son I just don't want anything weighing me down right now let's go back to the states I immediately arrested there's no way you think shrek is tog you've been sent back to death row oh sweet Jesus I'm getting killed on my 47th birthday what aging mine now 46 oh sweet Jesus get me out of this jail hey I have to escape I really he's standing right there okay I think I can do this run out the fecund or Shrek get out of there oh that was close to 4:20 time to rob that train dammit I can't [ __ ] stop them I thought that was the am nosy Express that would have been a sure thing let's steal a Porsche instead yes okay now I can sell that I really gotta start making some money back forty five thousand basically yes sell it yeah that's not bad that's getting money grant if thought it was great IGN was right I'm disguised myself as mrs. Doubtfire who robbed this Bank I can't vehicle I don't think it'll be a unicycle my person is not very smart but they're too smart for that no it wasn't me it was mrs. Doubtfire god damn it okay just affected one just run for the door yes okay I I need to just not get arrested but I also need money so I think we need to kill my parents okay i strangled my mother no don't arrest me luckily they keep sending me to the same prison because I keep just escaping from it now I just need to lay low until my other parent dies how do I only have thirty thousand dollars how did this happen can I still some of my property I still have two of them I think this one went up in value actually it's sell it are actually throw a sick house party first I got arrested for noise pollution back the day the road for noise pollution it's like Al Capone went to jail for his tax evasion aw sweet Jesus they finally sent me to a different prison area go eejit all right now sell the house it was worth it for that sick parity no lot well fact what about the other one yes okay I got enough money from there my abandoned daughter terrible married Daniela tragic at 18 I don't care I abandoned you so I wouldn't get these updates can I kill them I think I might need to reconnect with them first she doesn't want to connect I'll buy your friendship or family nasai I don't know send her a [ __ ] glitter bomb screw you alright I gave her a jacket do you like me it still doesn't like me alright send her a home gym there you go and no I'm not calling you fat just like me on my father passed away great do you have any money no money are you serious that's it I'm killing my brother in case he got all the money not caught the Hitman pinhead turned out to be an undercover cop we're name is like this I should just suspect something is off my way to have another brother catch them in a bear trap for sure he called the police stop sentencing me to death either just kill me don't do it cuz you're wasting both of her time at this point oh my god a hitman Buffalo Bill of course you're not a cop I got to stop doing this oh my god he keeps just calling the police when I try and kill him he's such a bad brother come on work Shrek wants blood Shrek wants blood yes he finally died and I got away with it too I've been rejected to a dog because of my age first I was too young then I didn't have money then I'm old this guy's a fortnight's can't just step orange just to see my way out of that Bank and I got caught I should keep trying to appeal my sentence maybe I can get off the hook for the whole thing I over turned I got released from prison I'm a free Shrek and I'm depressed because of it for some reason while eating at a restaurant you see a woman breastfeeding a child who appears to be about five years old YouTube hit make a career out of that alright I'm going back to being thug it was fun being Shrek though it was nice just know what it felt like oh my god the property value I'll make a massive profit on that can you sell it yes I'm making money again time to hit the casino home I'm gonna bet a million I wish a cab it more I'd be willing to bet it all just to try and get back to where I used to be not sweet cheese you know I just stand I don't care turns out I do care that's upsetting to be honest to deal me in why do I keep getting such crappy hands I hate this yes twenty finally I'll stand thank you very much there we go I won it all turned out okay I lost eight million in the casinos but I gained a million like there we go that leaves us a total of seven million loss to the casino host okay we're gonna go for the midnight train going anywhere nice no I just don't I don't have the skills I used to apparently I could just get a train to pull over when I was young now it seems to show up at the track just waiting for the train to go by and hope you'll stop what I died of what natural causes I think I deserve to go out better than that I mean they tried to kill me with a lethal injection and an electric chair about a dozen times I guess it's fair that nature had to take me in the end net worth 3.2 million I mean it would normally be impressive and my normal bit life playthroughs but I pretty much started with 12 million I'm pretty sad now and if life has taught me anything money would make me feel better so please like and subscribe no just kidding but I hope you enjoyed that video if you want to see more bit life do let me know and leave any suggestions for me to try I'm willing to try anything in bit life not real life as long as it's virtual they'd have to leave my house I am a man of many talents but yeah I appreciate you watching as always folks I hope you enjoyed and I hope to see you next time bye for now share its patrons Kade Osborn Katie Barry Kendall McIntyre Tok Kitty Hoover conifers critter Christian M Kyle de Freitas Kyle Watson Laura Klein Laura the Hulk Lord William Larina Molina Lucian Herzog Lucy Malone locks our main craft master 69 Marilyn Stanley Matthew will hoist mayor Debra Kong being Claire forever mice chicken Michael David rolls misses miss Noam Chomsky and Moutinho 777

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 2,405,481

Rating: 4.9643903 out of 5

Keywords: kevin, callmekevin, kevin1811, funny, moments, gameplay, lets, play, game, cmk, clips, lets play, life simulator, playing bitlife, bitlife life simulator, bitlife challenge, bit life, life simulation, funny moments, bitlife game, bitlife gameplay, bitlife life simulator gameplay, life simulator game, funny bitlife challenges, living my bitlife, bitlife callmekevin, bitlife funny, bitlife funny moments

Id: 2lBlXZ1N8ec

Length: 20min 26sec (1226 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 24 2020