I let 5,000 people turn me into a psychopath in Bitlife

right so we're gonna be playing bit life if you haven't paid played bitlife before uh i have played and paid for it i'm a bit as in premium member they don't just hand these out i had to pay for it so we'll just design the person together because the first section where you actually make the person you click on the little mouse squeak squeak squeak we just got a random person no um miguel sorry i'm starting a new life uh you're just you're not my kind of baby so goodbye failed democracy it's it's kind of fitting given what we're doing i think this is failed democracy my father is noah democracy noah democracy is also a pretty good name we are ugly as [ __ ] unfortunately while playing the sidewalk outside of your home you notice a group of buzzing insects flying in and out of a nearby lamppost what will you do one observe them two disregard them three throw a rock at them well would you look at that look at that bowl huh what a surprise i threw a rocket a beehive outside of my home and was chased back inside by a swarm of angry bees my looks has gone up to five percent so there is it's gone down to four actually as i said that never mind your classmate bobby sue just came into class late and slammed the door what will you do i will warn you that attacker will probably result in serious consequences uh it doesn't matter i just looked at the poll okay all right we're going with two so we're gonna round a roundhouse kick her it's between groin and toes bit of a weird sentence oh my god we did so much damage a relative gives you a gift certificate to a trendy hat store you've been wanting to don a new lid recently lately what age are we aren't we like seven no one seven year old goes hello mother i'd like to don a new lid please all right failed democracy you just got a hat look at that amazing what uh covering up some of the damage will do like out of sight out of mind your classmate thomas has been dunking your head in the toilet every day what do you do now without looking at the pole i would say we're going to report him to the principal because that is the responsible thing to do we're going to attack him what a surprise you bit the bully's lip then you gave him a swift kick to the thyroid gland jesus christ while in your math teacher's class mrs handy's class your classmate and adjourn all of a sudden begins ripping pages out of the class textbook one at a time yelling less is more with each new page tear what will you do surprise surprise we take this personally and we attack them for some reason do you wanna twist stretch punch kick squeeze scratch it sounds like the worst version of puppet ever you want to punch his forehead it's good it's a good a good area it's a big target oh no our father died i shouldn't even need to ask this because of course we'll attend his funeral but do you want to one attend his funeral or two skip the funeral what now it's the important choice do you want to take your driving test what does this road sign mean i rode narrow skinny cars only i didn't realize it was one of these okay chad tell me what does this road sign mean well it seems like the majority think skinny cars only jesus you wouldn't want you guys is like the the audience and who wants to be a millionaire would you okay what is this your mother has married your new stepfather ebenezer wright a 67 year old retired restaurant worker they went to the great wall of china for their honeymoon what will we be causing or calling our new stepfather bro supra i wouldn't go to your funeral either bruh you are suffering from depression that's what pushed us over the line calling our dad bro okay but this is good news because even though we're depressed and we look just awful we're now an adult what are we gonna do with our life chat you want to take some time off okay all right what do you want to do with our time off you got eight choices there let's get shredded at the gym i think that'd be a great idea but it seems like crime is on the agenda unfortunately pickpocket is winning at the moment closely followed by bank robbery it's quite the choice isn't it it's like i feel like doing some crime but i just can't decide between pickpocketing or robbing a bank okay murder it is just just to be sure that's what you want because i feel like there must be some mistakes one two three four five six seven yeah that's that's murder all right okay i didn't think this is what you had in mind when you said you wanted some time off when we were given the option but you really have it out for bro don't you turns out we're actually not that much of a bro he wasn't like bro it was bro you pushed your stepfather off a cliff while he was admiring a scenic view he died okay you did kill him sorry bro university we can we can go to university or you can pick something else i mean you already had your time off i don't know if you want more time off i don't know do you have other things that you want to do with your life like was your bucket list just killed stepfather okay you want to enlist in the military doesn't sound good for like a murderer to join the military i don't know if he has the temperament but you were being arrested by the police in hindsight after committing a murder it probably wasn't the best idea to enter the military and probably have our background dug into oh my god we might be sentenced to death yolo i mean yes yolo but also yolo you know you've been convicted of murder and running from the police and sentenced to 43 years in prison oh no oh good news my little sister savannah is no longer suffering from diarrhea i just love that they continue to send me mail when i'm in prison so what what would you like to do you're thinking of crying it's kind of what i want to do too to be honest with you you sat and bawled in the corner of yourself fortunately no one noticed okay that's been an eventful year while hanging out in the prison yard another inmate asked you if you'd like a hit of morphine stephanie has been promoted to lieutenant and savannah graduated from high school i tried morphine that's how my day is going we're gonna attempt to escape yes i practiced at that a lot unfortunately enough my depression is gone all right great you're trying to do crime again okay you're mixed between crime and love imagine the thought process of this human like it doesn't really seem to make any sense it's like hmm i have the sudden urge to either meet the love of my life or commit various crimes it's looking like four i really thought it would be one for some reason i thought when you went down the love route that you actually wanted them to find someone i don't know whether for love or to murder them again he seems to be 50 50 on both of them but hook up oh no there's even further choice okay no condoms are available and it looks like she has some craziness going on down below one or two folks oh no okay so after that glorious one night stand that you just had uh notice how i've pivoted now from calling the person me to you you have swelling issues i don't know why you're saying pray because if there is a god in bitlife i don't feel like they will want to help us after all we've done okay let's see let's let's go with occupation bear in mind we're a wanted criminal for murder and we could likely be sent to death row if we get caught so special careers you want to look in this isn't going to work is it oh no oh no i didn't know this was even here organized crime political office political office organized crime same thing sorry we've already been doing disorganized crime so i mean we do have experience the irish mob surprise surprise we want to join the o'malley family how are we gonna try and impress them okay we're gonna deliver baked goods hey can i join your mob i uh make a mean donut and i'm also on the run for murder i just escaped death row good donut stop well i'll be damned it actually worked he successfully joined the o'malley family as an associate after breaking after baking an array of sweets and treats for members of the family for two months great do i get money and lately you've noticed the same page volvo outside family skipper lucky duffy's favorite restaurant you feel you should investigate as it could be the feds what will you do do we really wanna we do really want to okay blow it up oh my god we thirty grand gang all right sorry i shouldn't be saying gang given we're an organized crime probably a sensitive topic okay it's identity okay i mean this might be a good call even for just escaping the cops kind of thing anyway right name change what are you thinking working democracy okay i mean it is working out maybe that does make sense your mother is arguing with you because you changed your name to working democracy you literally named me a failure you branded me a failure you set me up for failure and when i finally get involved with a group of like-minded individuals who happen to like the same things blowing up cars then you get pissed off that my life is working out damn right chad argue back shut up i'll have you kill i next it to bro and i'll do it to you too plastic surgery i thought that might be coming and honestly not a bad idea but what type of surgery would you like alrighty then penis enlargement surgery it is ow it is botched i'm going to i i'm going to go into the zoo menu because i assume hi esu that you want to sue him so i'm going to go in there we're going for a nice middle ground i like that very sensible you won we won a hundred thousand dollars great job in the courts everyone you did fantastic and we we didn't get arrested or anything now we have tons of money all right what do you want to do with all of this money all right so it's looking clear that it will be a gay dating app so we're looking for a non-binary 80 plus year old let's try oh it found someone who's actually interested you are now dating olivia as long as olivia's happy we're happy it's time we age up it's been a busy year we spent one year just crying this year i had a lot you've been ordered to report to the family what you do you see now you should be starting to get a bit attached to this life like there's a lot to lose oh no no no a gang this is bad sorry not gang uh folks this is bad if you don't step up your earnings you'll be stepping into a pair of cement boots we didn't contribute anything so do we do crime is that how we get money extortion where are we going to extort everyone why is there a convent there okay you've picked a convent it's kind of hypocritical to pray to god to solve all of your issues and then extort a convent but okay just so you're fully in the clear here open that red banner it says none and i understand she's having none of our [ __ ] but still is it really okay you're gonna whack her all right oh this is very divided jeez you were very very united in your mission to kill the nun but how you do it is another story you encased the sister servants of harry non in an iron maiden and left her to bleed out she died and i guess we've gotten away with it how does he keep getting away with this yeah you see i think like the top four are the best if we actually want to live and i know you might be thinking haha let's get them killed but think of olivia we have olivia to marry and possibly kill i don't know it's hard to read the chat like what exactly you're thinking but we're robbing a bank this is dangerous uh what weapon would you like to use you're going with toy gun i mean it's not a bad idea scythe is right after it abby a sight to see right what are you thinking for a disguise thinking a minecraft helmet i didn't even realize that was an option the minecraft helmet with a toy gun at least we complete insanity after that right you don't have a car to get away well it doesn't matter because this city is skinny cars only anyway we're getting away on an electric scooter robert you successfully robbed the bank with a toy gun while wearing a minecraft helmet you gotta weigh an electric scooter with two thousand dollars you are collectively criminal masterminds i'm honestly just impressed it might be good to at least attempt a marriage at some point i don't know if now is the best option it's just olivia's pretty old and olivia has a lot of money yeah working democracy needs a lot of money and unfortunately this working democracy doesn't generate any taxes from the people unless you count all the crime make love okay oh yeah oh no oh no i forgot we we had an std from earlier why would you do that you just gave olivia syphilis what's the relationship now i said i'd do one more and the relationship is not good olivia has a permanent pissed off face one two three four five six seven eight gift and you get to decide the gift as well you're thinking rolex okay i gave you syphilis but i also gave you a watch so at least now you know the time oh look at that it's time for my syphilis medication you you want to fix this okay visit the doctor do you want to go to dr hardwood or dr romos in hindsight we probably should have gone to dr hardwood for the penis enlargement but look it worked out okay we got a good settlement you are no longer suffering from syphilis isn't that nice huh poor olivia at olivia will be fine 85 with syphilis it's nothing nothing no olivia what are we gonna do olivia wants to break up what should we do i can't believe it olivia we gave you everything including syphilis and this is how you repay us we got dumped okay that's fine okay hitman you want to kill olivia i mean that's pretty obvious right i i'll i'll put the poll in anyway just so that i have like an out if i have to go to court over this it's like well it was the chat really i didn't want to kill anyone ah you smell that the smell of a murder pole olivia it's time for you to be pushing up poses pushing up daisies pushing we're gonna kill you oh no they were an undercover cop chat i've told you brendon can you believe they're like this honestly i was saying to them we should just kill them or maybe not kill anyone that's what i should say i was saying we should just not we should not kill we got a shorter sentence yeah i'm not sure why because you think it would stop maybe they haven't realized where failed democracy got to remove the fake mustache i was failed democracy all along run run run run run around just take off they made eye contact and then he just bolted oh it's like a deer or a rabbit or something just a quick look and then just gone escape from prison and on the run what's our first call of action everybody we have money gender reassignment you want with that all right gender reassignment it is it was successful what's her name the letter a i kinda like that so it's just a democracy no we're not making a statement one way or the other we're just saying we are a democracy which we are i'm kind of assuming you want to do some crime i just have a feeling that someone out there has a target you know you're going for the murder okay we'll do this with our own bare hands i think you're not even too concerned about going to prison you just want olivia dead do you want to do a bear trap is this like looney tunes or something oh no you dug a bear trap outside your ex olivia's front door and the police were called olivia escapes okay you gotta go for something solid here because i'm worried that olivia will die of natural causes which would just be horrible like you'd hate to see that you would really really hate to see that olivia dying happy age 95 or whatever push off cliff commit the murder olivia's dead olivia's dead everyone good job fantastic work out there and we seem to have gotten away with it oh no you want to do another bank robbery oh sweet jesus pick your weapon bearspray why do we have all these bear related items do we have a phobia of bears or something a rollerblading santa claus with a harpoon robs a bank it sounds like the beginning of a very bad joke and unfortunately the joke is our lives can't green-handed what a surprise we keep getting caught doing these crimes it's as if crimes are a bad idea you've been experiencing some abdominal bloating lately on top of that you're currently running a high fever what will you do two is winning anything we actually want to go to the doctor what the hell happened to you okay you are no longer suffering from diarrhea our health went up your mother's suffering from hemorrhoids she's we're a very open family aren't we i like how the the pole initially burst with accessories but then crime just starts to catch up oh wait no it's adoption sorry i that's not gonna work we have a criminal record so it's not gonna work you want to accessorize i was thinking about adopting a child but instead i decided to buy some accessories i'm a mobster see incognito mode activate i mean that pretty much is what it was put on a little hat and some glasses what your boss has ordered you to scare a milf who stopped texting the skipper okay the gay dating app again all right let's do it they're not crazy at least they're 93 they got lots of money okay gang we need to impress them a bit more than last time okay okay compliment okay go with a compliment okay that did work that worked it stuck between compliment again conversation or give money you're trying to buy her love she does really like us maybe that was a good idea six would be elope you want to try a loping okay let's try eloping i hope you say yes because we might end up murdering you otherwise we're eloping okay all right we got another house and we got one million in cash look at that face they're happy they're finally happy hey morris democracy what does that even mean i have a sneaky feeling that you're itching to do a bit of pickpocketing are you no it's it's it's not it's not that at all okay you tried to sneak an elephant laxative into your mother's morning smoothie she called the police sony resist arrest i don't even need to do the [ __ ] thing and then we we try and escape i know the routine now you've been ordered to report to the family oh no we need to make more money they're so needy they're more needy than my actual family rat on the crime family okay we are becoming an informant then oh no once you provided sufficient evidence against the o'malley family you will be allowed to enter the witness protection program and be free of the irish mob you must not be cut committing any crimes during this period or your status as a confidential informant will be revoked you you've a maximum of four years to provide the evidence oh okay maybe i should hang out with the boss expose him as a rat can i expose someone as a rat that would be a lot of projection we have become a rat and immediately go that man is a rat it's kind of like uh drawing attention to ourselves ask him out you want to ask out the mob boss we don't have syphilis anymore do we no we we cured the syphilis okay good they rejected us oh no i've been ordered to report to the family oh no your boss said he'd hate to see you get chopped oh that's very nice of you i don't like read through the lines at all here charles oh no what are we gonna do there's a scout befriend compliment contract you could put a contract on him expose him as a rat are you sure you want to expose him as a rat yes you declare he's a rat wait was that correct they verified that he is in fact a rat oh my god how did you how did you know all right well he was put through a wood chipper now i've been ordered to report to the family time for oh shook my head and nodded that got us back in the good books so you want to hook up or what they told me not to get involved in any crimes while i'm an informant and i just put a man through a wood chipper is that even a crime though i've never heard of like a law against that uh oh while on a trip to the mall you are confronted by the captain from the o'malley family attack him oh i kind of like that actually that might be our best option what if they're just coming over to say hello and we're overreacting because we're a rat and we're a bit jumpy right head butt his toes that's a weird attack are you sure that's what you want to go with high attack he did a bit of damage uh okay that uh that was a bit of an overreaction we head-butted his toes and then he threw us into a pit of frenzied ravenous pigs and watch them consume us honestly not bad not a bad run given that like the way it started we picked every single terrible option up until like the last few years where we tried to get some sense and actually stay alive but we were in too deep at that point three lovers three murders see what i mean he was caught between love and hate all the time that is the story of his life a morris democracy passed away the age of 40. her mother and her three sisters couldn't be bothered to attend her funeral i mean that is kind of karma undisciplined woman friends say she was an abject and detestable person good job everyone pog democracy is dead [Music] everyone

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 703,339

Rating: 4.9737229 out of 5

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, funny, funny moments, comedy, lets play, gameplay, gaming, bitlife, callmekevin bitlife, bit life, bit, life, twitch chat, twitch, decisions, chat, i let people make my decisions

Id: 02EcjjdX7j4

Length: 22min 32sec (1352 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 16 2021