13 Evil Achievements for Heartless Bastards: The Return

four years ago we brought you a video on the most evil achievements that made us feel like straight-up mustache twirling puppy kicking villains and much like the Olympics return every four years to celebrate the greatest athletes on the planet so to do we returned to celebrate the evilest achievements for heartless bastards thanks to the many viewers who commented on that vintage video with suggestions who inspired us to revisit our most dastardly deeds and after we tried so hard to repress them thanks a lot folks if you were to look for GTA 5's Trevor on a chart of moral alignments you'd find him firmly in chaotic evil chaotic neutral on a good day I wasn't counting cards I was cheating so arguably when you earn yourself the altruist acolyte achievement in gta5 you're only staying in character that's my defense and I'm sticking with it you try this back to our motel our cars right there take five minutes for this achievement Trevor must give a ride to an unsuspecting civilian or two such as this charming young couple who are out on the lash for her birthday you two are a hot mess if you thought maybe Trevor turned over a new leaf to become an uber driver slash guardian angel who gets boozy revelers home safe then you must be new around here it's more that Trevor has turned over an old leaf to become a freelance kidnapper slash recruiter for sinister outback cult the altruists oh you'll love this place will really bring you close together for five gamerscore and a wad of bills Trevor delivers these confused victims into the tender gun-toting care of the altruist cult and an uncertain but probably unpleasant fades heard you're interested in taking care of some large travelers for a price yes Trevor you are the worst at least my last uber driver gave me a bottle of water [Music] in PT hora title lucious - on the other hand you play the actual son of the actual devil so the evil nature of your deeds is a given thanks dad you'd be hard-pressed to find an achievement for lucious - the prophecy that isn't nastier than a Saw movie supercut but there's a certain back to basics nastiness - the steam achievement named grinder for this one you have to murder an innocent powerplant engineer by feeding him into a running wood chipper you're only a tiny child oh so you can't pull off the full Fargo style corpse Chipping without sneaky tricks such as luring the engineer into harm's way with a wallet full of cash and giving him a shove into the hungry hungry hopper with your Antichrist force push [Music] Wow I mean yikes the girls I put into the wood chipper and hitman we're unconscious at least and I felt pretty guilty about that PC farming Sims slime rancher imagines a distant wondrous world where all farming is performed by shooting fun I might sort out the back iron if I had an agriculture gun John Deere get on it better yet all the creatures in your care as a space farmer are ridiculously cute not like dumb earth cows or creepy earth goats Lance is true for these space chickens living on your slime ranch as it is for the slimes these space chickens are like feathery balloons with googly eyes and the baby space tricks called chica dues are as adorable as that name suggests the point to which I am eventually making my way is what kind of a monster could fire a live and fluffy baby chick adieu into an incinerator for no discernible profit you is the answer if you pinged the steam achievements you monster in slime rancher and before you say it no it is nothing like when I fire up the grill and make Andy's famous barbecue chicken wings I get to eat after that and the floorboards were buckling and creaking and breaking and pieces of their ship were raining down like shards of broken dreams and then Reginald comes upstairs and he's all like I say gentlemen I do believe we're in quite a spot a father and everyone else was like really what tipped you off genius and then Hattie was on like a penis one of the well-known habits of evil people is killing their friends sure either both and few games are as obliging to those players who are committed friend murderers and battleblock theater in which it is stupidly easy to do violence on your extensible pals and colleagues [Music] there is nothing friendly about that fire and sure there will be occasions when in the heat of battle block you accidentally do your buddy a mischief in the normal course of events but in order to unlock the BattleBlock theater achievement traitor you have to kill your friend 50 times don't tell me that 50th time was an accident [Music] [Applause] 3040 times sure but 50 sorry friend I ain't buying it we could all agree that deliberate team kills are evil if on the other hand you racked up your team kills by plugging in a spare controller and murdering an uncontrolled second player over and over and over again you're not evil you're just really keen gamerscore [Music] [Applause] maybe a bit too keen [Music] [Music] [ __ ] jo soo RI prime I'm almost certain the Stone Age because it had to be set before the discovery of radio waves so you didn't spend the whole time climbing radio towers it also introduced animal taming to the series to let your hero Captain Caveman team up with all manner of beasts to take down his enemies [Music] if you're thinking cool taming those animals will make more lot easier to murder and boy there's Ubisoft to have the achievement for you called tears of shame this achievement asked you to befriend a wild beast a saber-toothed tiger say or the friendly wolf tame them maybe build up a bond of trust and companionship and then when they least expect it bash their head in with a rock on a stick cut all their skin off and make it into a bag guess he really needs that animal skin Hey for many years the secretive assassin order has been involved in a clandestine war with a shadowy worldwide organization known only as the horses at least that would be the impression you got if you saw someone going for the what is wrong with you achievement in Assassin's Creed syndicate this achievement asks you to flip five carriages specifically by shooting dead the innocent horses pulling them this is not an easy task horses are surprisingly resilient so you'll need to shoot them a good two or three times to take them down plus they have a habit of sprinting directly at you if you attack them so I think it's safe to say that the Assassin's Creed syndicate development team put this achievement here as a test of skill and not because they're evil and like to see horses suffer in addition to that the carriage tends to launch itself off down the street like it just drove over a landmine which means that it's unfortunate occupants is probably just as dead as that horse you just shot belt eatin for siding with the horses you know I heard Thomas Edison was a horse worldwide conspiracy covered it up wake up sheeple the martyr of Hecate inquiries is already having a bad day for a start he doesn't even get a proper name he probably did a bunch of stuff in his life and yet all people remember him for is that he was martyred that's got to be annoying let's see what else oh also he is hanging from some chains in a horrible dungeon and is dead you'd think things couldn't get worse for old Marty which is where you're wrong because the God of War ascension trophy you bastards asked you to treat the matter of Hecate on curries poorly I mean it looks like somebody already did that but whatever game is your call given that in the God of War series gouging someone's eyes out with your thumbs counts as a friendly hello you're probably expecting something pretty bad and God of War ascension doesn't disappoint well this trophy you've got to dump someone else's body out of a torch machine drag the martyr into position and then yank his arms off with a massive chain ouch still I'm sure whichever Greek god this guy martyred himself for was suitably impressed or I mean they will be young till Kratos inevitably kills them rendering the martyrs whole sacrifice pointless bronze trophy for us though blue Bordeaux a modern city with traditional southern values underestimated how far he was gonna go why he was willing to do mafia 3 tells the story of Lincoln clay a Vietnam vet who seeks revenge for his murdered family by taking control of the city of new Bordeaux away from the established crime families who run things and if you're wondering yes alligators definitely count as a crime family judging by the achievement named bon appetit this achievement asks you to feed a dead body to an alligator which is two birds with one stone for Lincoln he gets rid of some evidence and gets to keep the notoriously powerful alligator mafia on his side it's only a truly evil achievement if to get it you stopped a passing car at random slay the unlucky civilian inside and then feed them to the Gators with you having no motive for murdering that guy and having disappeared that guy's corpse their relatives will never know what happened to them so there's no closure for them and also you've probably now given the alligators a taste for human meat that they're going to act on next time there's a kid's picnic on the shore hey you better just think about that sweet sweet gamerscore hey Lincoln they say Lepanto male yeah Lincoln Lincoln well I hate to say I told you so I'll tell you master come forward tell me of your mission little history fact view life in the 12th century it was hard especially in the cities where the impoverish would have to beg in the streets to get by not Assassin's Creed protagonist outta here however who as a member of the Assassin's order gets to live in a giant castle do not speak not another world this is not what I expected and who has enough free time to indulge in hobbies such as parkour and pushing poor people over that's mainly if you're gunning for the achievement known as enemy of the poor which asks you to grab and throw 25 harasses or as you and I might refer to them beggars I get it out a year you don't give any of the money you make knifing people in Damascus to hungry beggars but do you really need to throw them on the floor after all give a man a fish and he will feed himself for a day teach that man to fish and he will what do I do anything if you throw em on the floor out of here you know between this and the horse murder I'm sorry to think the Templars have a point [Music] Star Wars The Force Unleashed to put out an entire DLC set on the forest moon of Endor which you'll remember as either the home to the adorably cute and funny Ewoks or as the home to these stupid and annoying Ewoks who represent everything bad about Return of the Jedi our guess is that Force Unleashed protagonist star killer is firmly in the latter camp going by the amount of time he spent killing Ewoks special mention has to be given to his close quarters Ewok combat usually when star killer grapples an enemy he dispatches them with a cool lightsaber moved when star killer grapples an Ewok however he picks them up like a protesting furry football and pumps them into the sky in a move that is as hilarious as it is cruel and disrespectful of course as the saying goes once you drop kick you just can't stop kick and players who did this particular move ten times would find themselves 10 G better off and in possession of an achievement called Sith kicker or any sporting is it star killer kicking a bunch of teddy bears into space when you pick on someone your own size [Music] Oh God I take it back Chuy knew I thought my yee-haa brothers a tale of two sons is a tale of you guessed it two sons who are on a quest to save their dad who is sick at least that's what I gather for a mother coughing water cycle thirsty by the way the two brothers must go on a long epic journey to fetch the remedy for their dying and or thirsty par that's a pretty selfless mission you might think these brothers are good kids you might think man these controls are fiddly you might think that's the point of brothers anyway the longest journey begins with a single step and the first single steps of the two bros take them through an idyllic little village why the locals are really impressed I expect by you [ __ ] about with their broom I [Music] imagine they're less impressed when you steal a tiny little girl's ball probably her only toy in the whole world and as soon as you get bored of dominating the paint scoring mad buckets against her pitiful zone defense you run off and throw her ball down a well that's some heartless horseplay what the hell hero what would your dad say probably cuz he said you see this mr. Porter the brooding cowboy not many of these left you know a bit of a cliche admittedly but still a dying breed another little history fact for you manifest destiny is the 19th century concept that the expansion of the United States throughout the American continent was both justified and inevitable it's also an achievement in Red Dead Redemption for which you have to entirely wipe out the last surviving Buffalo in America hey if they wanted to not go extinct they should have I don't know move to Canada or something wiping out an entire species might already seem like a reasonably evil thing to do but when that species is Buffalo the most dumb doe-eyed trusting animal in the Western Hemisphere it attains an extra level of dickery that isn't really justified by the pitiful five gamerscore that you get for doing it that said I did make a ton of money selling their skins enough that I could afford this sweet Buffalo rifle that I can use to hunt Buffalo what have I done chad kensington of Friday the 13th Fame is many things sweater over the shoulders wearer was Hebrides this can't be real mannequin hair haver [Music] coward all right all right that's not strictly fair that is also how my face would look if I were being chased by Jason but is he evil if you're after the dastardly achievement chad is a dick then yes he's eviler than an evil twin chad from a parallel evil dimension mirror world of moustache having alternate chairs for this Chivo you must escape from your increasingly nightmarish and decreasingly uncorks littered summer camp [Music] you must do this specifically by driving off in the car or boat while abandoning another camp counselor this poor other counselor is left behind to their doom and I assume rights Chad is a dick in their own blood before Jason finishes them off and that's how the achievement got its name in actual fact you can unlock this achievement while playing any counselor character not just chat but without face why would you I'm out of here Wow so many evil deeds in that video we've been fu something to address the karmic balance of the universe something good a good deed by clicking on one of these videos here here's something from us outside Xbox and down here is something from outside extra you can click on either of these and that will definitely redress the universal balance or if you really want to go good click the subscribe orb for more videos in the future thanks for watching see you next time

Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 5,574,982

Rating: 4.8570628 out of 5

Keywords: achievements, gamerscore, bad, mean, cruel, nasty, evil, bastards, bastard, unlock, achievement, xbox, xbox live, trophy, trophies, bronze, silver, gold, platinum, PSN, playstation network, online, score, hidden, secret, outside xbox, outsidexbox, list, top 10, top 5, top 7, 7 things, countdown, funny, lol, wtf, funny moments, gta 5, gta5, gta v, lucius, lucius 2, slime rancher, battleblock theater, far cry primal, assassin's creed syndicate, god of war ascension, mafia 3, assassin's creed, star wars

Id: 4RwQ2IQ9iAc

Length: 19min 16sec (1156 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 20 2017