10 Most Embarrassing Hitman Kills You Don't Want in Your Obituary

if the recent hitman trilogy is to be believed the world of hyatt assassins is an impossibly glamorous non-stop whirlwind of international travel luxury hotel suites impeccable tailoring and swanky parties one last tango 47 as such if you find yourself the subject of a professional hit you could reasonably expect to be killed in an impossibly glamorous way maybe you'll be sniped while at the wheel of an exotic race car while tearing through miami or crushed by a million dollar lighting rig while walking the runway of a parisian fashion show hitman is all about freedom of choice however and so offers plenty of alternative assassination methods that are less glamorous and more so totally embarrassing that you'd die of shame if you hadn't already died of being crushed by a barbell so that people finding your corpse think you're a gym noob who doesn't crush pbs on the daily two targets remaining watch on for the 10 most embarrassing hitman kills that your freshly made ghost will be begging the obituary writer to keep out of the newspapers enjoy now listen carefully ica exams aren't normally this difficult not only was the airfield a virtual fortress but he even added additional guards sodas wants you to fail he considers you a threat and this way your unfortunate exit from the program won't raise any eyebrows well if he thinks we're bowing out he is sorely mistaken good luck initiate the first mission of hitman known as the final test takes place in an ica training facility and the conceit of the mission is that you are 47 taking his final practical exam to become a professional murderer you can tell he's nervous the level is meant to be an exact simulation of a real mission once undertaken by the ica's training director but everyone on the level is a real human actor not a crash test murder dummy which i mean i hope they get paid well now be gentle he's an actor [Music] the training target is us chess master turned soviet spy jasper knight who is about to defect apparently in a fighter jet i'm not crazy about airplanes is it going to do that thing where it flips on its head i don't like that one bit not one bit don't worry you're in good hands the skill overlap between playing chess and piloting a jet being minimal jasper knight needs to be given some pointers in how to operate the plane's many controls at which point you can step in reactivate the disconnected ejector seat system and allow jasper knight to launch himself into the stratosphere in a very public very embarrassing definitely fatal accident pull the ejector seat handle right here it goes [Music] pull or i guess in this case that was an axer pretending to be jasper knight still another credit for the imdb page good stuff this seriously needs to step into this century it's not safe at all if this was back home it would be a lawsuit waiting to happen one of hitman 3's standout missions death in the family takes you to a sprawling country estate in dartmoor england where you can solve a murder mystery while also causing several other murder mysteries the target is alexa carlyle who has gathered her family together at the house for several reasons one of which is the taking of a commemorative family portrait right get in position let's get this over with after some setup involving strangling a photographer putting on his clothes and fiddling with some electrics and a fountain 47 can create a perfect electric trap primed to go off when the camera flash triggers just take the picture we don't have all day what this means for alexa carlyle is not only a horrific electrocution death but also the exact moment of said electrocution death being captured forever in what i can only describe as a photo so embarrassing that you definitely untag yourself in it if it popped up on social media and i guess if you weren't also dead maybe not one for the family mental peace hey kids we get an alert we both swipe our cards and bingo lock down what if the other guard is using the bathroom well it's time so if that should happen i should be able to run down and activate the other swipe as well but i guess that will need a little practice ah happy to not be at work tomorrow sounds like a lot of running around it's what we're paid to do yeah and it'll probably never happen just like fire drills yeah just like fire drills you can tell that the emergency evacuation plan for the two targets in hitman 3's dubai level marcus stuyvesant and karl ingram was intended to be very very cool the first option in case of emergency was for the two men to flee the towering skyscraper by helicopter which nice very bond villain if something were to happen to the helicopter pilot however say him being accidentally brutally shot to death by a passing hitman then the two targets would switch to plan b which is base jumping from the roof of the building in cool futuristic skydiving suits which yes would be extremely cool unless something were to happen to the parachutes like say them being slashed to ribbons by a passing hitman then i imagine their daring escape would be less the spy who loved me and more the spy who ragdolled almost a kilometer to the ground screaming the whole way less catchy title much funnier to watch [Music] you got m47 marcus stuyvesant won't be a problem anymore let's move on to carl ingram we're not done yet is the fan good to go i know they're still trying to find the right lines for the shoot but in case they do we need to be ready with the deck you bet i had to hack the controls to reduce the power output of the machine i don't know where ranga got this thing from but is powerful enough to blow the entire set from the roof yeah we don't need any accidents on this final shoot one of the targets on hitman 2's mumbai level is darwood rangan a bollywood film producer who has also cast himself in his latest film playing against type as a sexy pirate who gets to make out with the lead actress i'm here my lips are ready for the final most important shot of the film charisma are you as ready as i'll ever be it's not just rangan who can appoint himself to positions he's wildly unqualified for however 47 can as well by getting a crude disguise and being put in charge of the big fam that the production is using to a make rangan look windswept and heroic and b blow rose petals around during this obviously very romantic scene you saved me didn't you yes the witch rests in hell now as with so many things in the alarmingly unsafe world of hitman the giant fan can be sabotaged letting you crank the fan speed up to 11 and send rangan hilariously spinning off into the sky like he's team rocket blasting off again [Music] darwin with a slightly more tragic ending still got it all on film something fun for the funeral why would anyone do this feeding a hippo meat is so stupid sure the guy's a drug lord and everything but seriously what if it doesn't respond i don't speak spanish i mean maybe you'd only understand spanish no no no no that's fine it's fine i'm a professional hippo whisperer i can do this okay i just gotta find a way to get it out of that tunnel despite looking like an ambulatory tube of cookie dough a hippo is actually incredibly deadly a fact you can discover for yourself in hitman's columbia level it seems rico delgado head of the delgado drug cartel has bought himself the ultimate status symbol a pet hippo who he will pop by to visit once you coax it out of its hiding place with a meaty bone now wait right here i'll go find your master being a hitman target delgado will also dismiss all his guards so that he can be alone as hitman targets are so often bafflingly eager to do presumably he just wants a quiet moment alone with his prize hippopotamus if you'll excuse me and leave us alone for a little while i want to spend some time with niko by myself then it's a simple case of upending rico so he winds up in the hippo pool so the two can get better acquainted unfortunately for rico it seems all this watermelon wasn't doing it for this hippo and he still got quite an appetite rico delgado has been eliminated nicely done an undignified end for a crime lord especially when his obituary states that he was killed by a hungry hungry hippo i have a few minutes to spare roberto why don't we practice service yeah let's see your moves not bad definitely the ica has plenty of assassination methods at his fingertips and folks in the lab are always cooking up new gadgets for their agents to use in the field but honestly this next one is less high-tech spycraft and more joke shop prank turned deadly that's because it's an exploding golf ball a tightly packed wad of explosive designed to detonate when struck and then fashioned to look like something you'd spend an afternoon whacking down a fairway simply pop one of these explosive golf balls into silvio caruso's bucket and the next time he goes to practice his swing four becomes c4 as the ball detonates and sends him cartwheeling hilariously off into the trellises like a carelessly struck drive at augusta target down next up francesca desantis also the golf pro dies but you know that's on him for giving caruso such a powerful swing [Music] all right a good hit man is able to adapt improvise and use anything that comes to hand as a weapon but even the best hitmen would be impressed with agent 47 using one of his two targets as a murder weapon to kill the other one that's an option available to you on the paris level in the first hitman although it takes a bit of setting up first you need to get the remote control for the fireworks display then you need to get into position on the balcony next to the jago auction victor's grand finale once you're in place you can set the fireworks going at which point the targets will move to watch this spectacular show and conveniently orient themselves in such a way that tipping dalia margolis off the balcony causes her to plummet in the most undignified manner imaginable directly onto the unsuspecting head of viktor novikov leaving them both in a big crunched up heap [Music] both targets are down great work now head towards an exit and with so many members of the celebrity press and so many cameras around there's no way you're passing this off as any kind of cool sexy fashion death sorry guys mr strandberg is ready for you follow me please [Music] i must say i was surprised that consul olander authorized this interview adding fuel to the fire i should think but that is not my call one of your targets in hitman's morocco level is cloud's hugo strandberg a swedish banker who is hanging out in the swedish embassy where things are extremely swedish so swedish in fact that they have a giant model moose hanging from the ceiling where all the swedish occupants of the building can look at this and go ah sweden land of mooses i mean i assume that's what's going on here i don't have a better explanation uh tyler clark producer and this is our cameraman and finley splendid anyway for an ironic undignified aggressively swedish death here you can disguise yourself as a member of a film crew here to interview strandberg strandberg for reasons best known to himself decides that the best place to conduct the interview is directly underneath the giant moose the light is nice over here not that i want to tell you boys how to do your jobs good heavens as such it's very easy for a practice hitman like 47 to pop upstairs shoot the cable suspending the moose and watch as this giant quadruped crashes down onto stranberg in yet another filmed death that'll be showing up on youtube almost as soon as it's happened probably soundtracked by comedy tuba music as a side note anyone else think that 47 is secretly a comedy genius just me i mean uh he graduated from west point flying colors and all but has he seen actual combat not unless you count enhanced interrogation stranberg isn't the only target in marrakech there's also general raza zaidan a ruthless military leader who apparently isn't training his men very well because they will sit themselves down in front of an intercom system and start loudly bad-mouthing him even when you turn it on and start broadcasting them to the entire building keen to assert his dominance zayden will march over to the men to give them a loud and angry bollocking which to be fair they deserve for not understanding how microphones work those dogs are gonna regret this unfortunately for zedan he has chosen to deliver this rebuke directly underneath a big hole in the ceiling above which precariously rests a toilet which would surely be the most embarrassing thing for a decorated military leader to be killed by if someone were to say boot it down the hole directly onto his this is head niner get someone to talk it down move on to klaus strandberg right like that thanks 47. so rose basically wants you to pretend you're with interpol uh get her to come with you uh and then what i'm supposed to lure her to the slurry pit and tell her to roll over on rose and the rest of us try to get her to turn on us be interesting to see how she reacts on the pleasant ways to die scale at one end you have at an advanced age at peace surrounded by loved ones and on the other end you have drowning in that's the gross embarrassing fate awaiting penelope graves one of the targets in hitman's colorado level who you can convince to join you for a clandestine meeting by what the level discovery pop-up calls a tar pit but which everyone else refers to as what it clearly is a slurry pit i'll explain everything at the slurry pit it will be in your best interest to do as i say i understand i'll see you there a slurry pit in case you weren't aware is where farmers gather all their animal waste in one place it's a big pool of basically anyway graves clearly knows the drill when it comes to being a hitman target and so dismisses her guards look i appreciate that you've been assigned to protect me but please just just leave me alone for a few and then goes and stands with her back to you facing the slurry pit it's just not possible graves is down excellent work 47. i mean i don't know what she was expecting to happen those were the most embarrassing hitman kills from the new hitman trilogy the details of which you definitely want to keep out of your official obituary did we miss your fave embarrassing accidental kill let us know in the comments and remember to like subscribe and hit the bell icon for lots more hitman from outside xbox thanks for watching

Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 572,630

Rating: 4.956553 out of 5

Keywords: outsidexbox, andy farrant, jane douglas, mike channell, hitman, hitman 2, hitman 3, hitman trilogy, world of assassination, funniest, 3 ways to play, kills, assassinations, best, weirdest, weird, rare, funny, hippo, parachute, dubai, colombia, toilet, ejector seat, exploding golf ball, sapienza, slurry pit

Id: qUy6zxMk2L0

Length: 15min 49sec (949 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 27 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Metalinguist]

That exploding golf ball is probably the Mikest assassination method that ever Miked