7 Times Realism Was Way Too Realistic

in the arts realism is where the artist tries to represent the subject as truthfully as possible in games realism is where you starve to death after 30 minutes and this is why i'm constantly snacking what those 19th century french painters didn't understand is that for certain video games realism means including realistic elements that some might call excessively mundane or so annoying you'll want to eat your own hands and not just because you'll starve to death otherwise anyway please enjoy these seven times realism was way too realistic in games but please excuse me while i consume this snack well mr morgan i better start cleaning up you just take it easy i'll bring your coffee out in a moment thank you polly i have to warn you though i am very particular about my coffee the very best you have please i understand i'll be right back with it survival horror detective game deadly premonition is heavily openly inspired by tv series twin peaks but i don't remember an episode of twin peaks where agent dale cooper ran out of fuel on his way to the great northern hotel and had to walk back into town yes in addition to unravelling the mystery of anna graham's murder and tracking down the raincoat killer deadly premonition also tasks you with keeping on top of all sorts of tedious real world things such as your hunger and tiredness levels i play video games do i look like i know anything about eating well or getting enough sleep it's keeping your vehicle topped up with fuel that's the most irritating one though because not eating a sandwich isn't going to leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere and having to trap several miles back to civilization here you go the usual one turkey strawberry jam and cereal sandwich though based on that recipe eating it might leave you stranded with paralyzing indigestion instead you'll have to pre-plan your commutes around greenvale paying regular visits to the gas station where you'll pay an extortionate five dollars a gallon to top up your police suv that's twice the national average that's the real crime going on here in greenvale also a single gas tank only takes about 15 minutes to completely empty which implies the engine is some sort of dying star look on the bright side though at least if your car has run out of fuel you don't have to listen to agent york's in name chats with his imaginary friend zach about movies ferris bueller's day off 1986 directed by john hughes that one was so 80s that's because it was made in the 80s can i take your order please carl what do you want you got to eat to keep your strength up man hey i'll take a number nine fat boy give me a number nine just like he is let me get a number six with extra dip i'll have two number nines a number nine large a number six with extra dip a number seven two number 45s one with cheese and a large soap we modern humans live in a calorie-rich environment alongside such modern inventions as the freak shake and the kfc double double down which is two double downs smooshed together with a side of heart medicine as a result us modern humans occasionally need to exercise our modern human bodies and no one knows this hard truth better than cj of grand theft auto san andreas in its quest for realism gta san andreas incorporated physical exercise as the means to keep cj both healthy and ripped you had to manage the body fat and muscle mass of your cj by working out or running or what have you that's it keep breathing which i don't know about you but i play games to escape the reality where i have to do cardio more like cardi no ow chest pains why betide any player who kept scarfing down in-game foods and didn't visit the gym for what cj gained in chunk he lost in physical prowess [Music] the mitigating factor here at least was that for every 14 seconds of cardio or single rep of weightlifting cj's body composition would gain 1 muscle with results like these he should have his own line of fitness dvds and protein shakes called cjx the cj stands for completely jacked the x is meaningless i'd better hurry in shenmue 2 you play as ryo hazuki a man with martial art skills a leather jacket and the emotional range of a plank of uninteresting wood do you know of a cheap way to travel overseas i'm dying to travel overseas myself but i don't know of any cheap way i see rio is searching for his father's killer and by the end of shenmue ii this search takes him to guilin in china near to the village of bailu where the killer is thought to be heading seeing as bailu village is about a two-hour walk away from the port of guilin most games would probably handle this with a cut scene you know show rio walking onto the path towards bailu village fade down then fade back up as he arrives there several hours later and if you think that's what shenmue ii did then clearly you have never played shenmue 2. once you set foot on the path to bailu it quickly becomes apparent that the game actually expects you to walk there in real time it's a tedious two-hour hike made exponentially duller by the addition of shenhua a local who somehow manages to be even more boring than rio which we'd remind you is no easy feat a lot of them are in bloom yes it's as though the whole mountain is wrapped by the flowers let's move on yo okay what follows is literally two hours of the two most boring characters in video game history wandering through the mountains doing nothing except exchanging inane chatter about flowers and what japan is no i came from japan japan where's that it's an island country east of china in the east four and we really can't stress this enough two real hours let's hurry on yes yes let's don't worry though there are a few exciting interludes to keep things interesting like the time you have to gather firewood by collecting individual sticks this won't be enough all the time rio does tai chi the world's most boring martial arts oh this looks promising maybe if i fail this qte rio will slip and fall in the river and die excitingly [Music] are you okay yeah of course not oh well at least we must be nearly there by now we're halfway to bailey village from here all right i'm out enjoy shenmue 3 everyone [Applause] [Applause] if you think modern survival games like ark survival evolved are harsh wait until you meet ancient open world don't starve to death them up robinson's requiem appearing on long forgotten platforms like the commodore amiga atari falcon and panasonic 3do all of which sound like star wars spaceships robinson's requiem might not have been the first survival rpg but it was definitely one of the most brutal that's not gonna fix itself like in call of duty is it in it you played as a robinson one of a team of human planetary explorers seeking out new habitable worlds for your last hours as a robinson you are about to experience thrilling and unforgettable moments and by habitable we mean extremely hostile basically empty and where almost all human contact is with other robinsons who have maybe spent a little too long in space here it comes again [Applause] i'm feeling ravenous all of a sudden not sure if that's the space madness or just really poor dubbing the worst part was it's not even necessarily the initial injury that kills you in robinson's requiem it's the fact that if you leave injuries untreated they can become infected with gangrene which will eventually poison you to death now it says i died from poisoning by gangrene but i choose to believe i was murdered by skeleton space ghosts it'll sound much cooler on my tombstone the bad news is effective treatment often involves amputation which in the absence of a well-appointed modern hospital out in deep space means hacking off the affected limb with your survival knife accompanied by a scream that sounds almost exactly like the one from fellow amiga game rick dangerous tell me i'm wrong we should have expected as much from a game called robinson's requiem though a requiem is a death mass after all so you could tell right from the start that this was probably going to end extremely badly otherwise they'd have called it robinson's welcome home party we bought you cake probably wouldn't have fit on the box bringing the boy around i want his undivided attention where's my son you fat bastard patience mark my boy all in good time warning you charlie you don't tell me where my son is you better kill me now is there any way to greet an old friend stop talking and start listening hammond ps2 game the getaway had grand ambitions to be a gritty realistic london gangster epic in the mould of lock stock and two smoking barrels snatch or a christmas episode of eastenders i'm running a nightclub i've been there nearly two months and i'm not in the life i don't do this anymore relax son you'll do yourself an injury it achieved this in several ways such as by recreating a significant chunk of central london circa 2002 at a one-to-one scale it was an incredible achievement not just in terms of the accurate street layout but also in the hundreds of recognizable british storefronts that is the first and last time anyone will lovingly model a dallas chicken and ribs to go with that realistic recreation of our capital city the developers wanted to clear away any and all hud elements from the screen for example when you're in a car you had to work out your route to the next objective by watching the rear indicators flashing yeah they must be inside something that became considerably more difficult if you smash them up in a car chase it's that same insistence on a realistic hud-free screen that inspired the getaway's bizarre healing mechanic yes it had recharging health much like halo before it but the difference was that in order to recharge it in the middle of a shootout you had to find a wall to lean against and then have a little rest like an out of breath tensioner hey i'm sure gangland shootouts are tiring take a load off now we're not suggesting it's realistic to be able to heal gunshot wounds by slouching against a wall what we're suggesting is the insistence on a realistic hud-free screen led to an annoying system where you had to break off from shooting goons to stand still and watch a guy wheeze himself back to health still as an added bonus standing around for a bit will also magically clean blood stains from your ruined suit jacket so it was probably a waste of time meticulously modelling that british dry cleaners jose you want to go hunting what are you hunting an elephant i wish no i saw a huge bear one of the biggest i ever saw i reckon nearly a thousand pounds my god but you need me to come with you of course let's go red dead redemption 2 seems to be somewhat in two minds about how realistic it wants to be on one hand your horse's testicles will react realistically to the weather on the other hand you can craft homing tomahawks it's how the west was won still most of the time the game manages to strike a decent balance between realism and tedious tedious reality except when it comes to hunting in the original red dead redemption hunting was a breeze you went to a likely looking location used bait or rode around until you found a stag or whatever and shot it a bunch of times john marston would then presumably shove the pelt meat and valuable animal parts down his trousers where they would sit until he remembered to sell that big buck for big bucks at a trading post [Music] in red dead redemption 2 however if you want to do a bit of hunting then you better set aside a couple of days because this is gonna take a while for a start if you're out hunting for good animal skins you need to bear in mind that some animals start with bad pelts due to i don't know mange or something so you need to scope out your targets with your binoculars to make sure you're not going to be spending your time stalking an animal in return for a crappy pelt [Music] then you need to take into account how if you damage the animal's skin you drastically reduce its value so you need to use your bow or your knife or smaller caliber guns if you don't want to be trying to sell animal pelts with great big holes in them that's if you can actually get near the animals did you even consider the smell that humans emit some animals do so if you want them to not leg it the second you get within smelling distance you're going to need to pick up some cover scent lotion from the local general store anyway once you've tracked your prey and killed them in the least damaging way possible you then have to skin the animal and let me tell you red dead redemption 2 does not decide that now is the time to give the realism a rest horrifying now if you want to sell the carcass or donate it to your camp you'll need to actually pick it up and put it on your horse and then ride it all the way to a butcher or back to camp you'd better hope that it doesn't fall off or start to rot on that journey back because hey that's something that can happen as well but then you can drop it off and reap the rewards three dollars that barely covers the cost of that weird cover scent lotion i had to put on and oh good now my horse is covered in blood and attracting predators and so is my new jacket so i need to go have a bath can i get a hot bath please hunting more trouble than it's worth if you ask me if anyone needs me i'll be over here dynamite fishing [Music] henry get up now there's work to be done lots of games let you get drunk but the effects are usually consequence free the screen goes a bit wobbly for a minute or two and then you're immediately as sober as a judge at a temperance movement rally but drinking has a more significant effect on your game and longer lasting consequences in surf simulator kingdom come deliverance that's surf with an e you're not going to be slotted into a totally tubular 10-foot barrel i mean unless you really piss off the king you'll want to think very carefully before you get drunk in this game but on the other hand a few pints with the lads is pretty much the only break from the unrelenting misery of being a medieval peasant [Music] i mean what else is there to do for fun in bohemia in 1403 candy crush isn't gonna be invented for another 609 years what are you waiting for soldier fire the trebuchet for king and country oh right flinging poo at a wall how could i forget that classic game there are plenty of positive effects of slight drunkenness in kingdom come deliverance drink in moderation and it'll make you more charming offer new speech options and allow you to endure more punishment in combat we call him two drink henry overdo it though and you'll wake up with a rotten hangover the next day which ruins your strength agility vitality speech and charisma but while they hadn't discovered the restorative power of the bloody mary in the 15th century presumably because mary the first wouldn't be born for another 100 years kingdom come deliverance does have a hair of the dog potion you'll have to haul your sorry carcass out of bed and brew it yourself though this involves boiling up some st john's wort and sage and then adding a dash of mint which is presumably less about curing your headache and more about dealing with medieval morning breath remember you have literally never brushed your teeth neck the potion and you'll immediately reverse all the negative effects of your hangover and i've made some right now to cure the hangover that's affecting my charisma well now i feel worse but at least my breath is fresh come here quick well i haven't eaten for 15 minutes so i assume my health is dangerously low but before i enjoy this health restoring snack why don't you treat yourselves to air to this video from outside xbox which is about the spammy moves you love to spam because you're such a spammer and this video from outside extra which is about the ways you got rich quick in video games oh no no my health

Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 3,897,773

Keywords: 7 things, list, countdown, top 10, top 7, best, worst, most realistic, funny moments, deadly premonition fuel, kingdom come deliverance hangover, kingdom come deliverance drinking, red dead redemption 2 hunting, red dead redemption 2 skinniny, rdr 2 skinning, rdr 2 hunting, gta san andreas exercise, gta san andreas cj fat, gta san andreas cj muscle, shenmue 2 hike, shenmue 2 bailu, shenmue 2 guilin, robinson's requiem gangrene, robinson's requiem death, the getaway

Id: dh5jtQyI58U

Length: 18min 40sec (1120 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 06 2018