WideNeck & LongNeck: Everything Wrong with the Internet

hello welcome to my channel if you're new here what's up how's it going and if you're coming back what's up how's it going it's very good to see you see what happens when you subscribe to my channel you get an extra greeting at the beginning of every single video so subscribe for an extra greeting canker sore hurts so much acidic coffee is really helping folks we've got a video for you today Wow I've wanted to make this one for awhile and I've got a lot of requests to make it like probably like close to a hundred maybe even a hundred and one so if you've been on the internet for the past few years you know that just the dumbest [ __ ] becomes popular and the worst people gain an audience you know whether it's the don't judge me challenge or bad baby and lillte tik-tok duets niche memes Curtis Connor just the worst the worst of the Internet and to be honest we have nobody to blame for this but ourselves you know when we see stupid [ __ ] we're like oh my god that [ __ ] is so stupid I need to share it and tell everyone I know about it cuz it's so stupid and I'm very guilty of that okay I know it's literally what I do for a living it seemed like 2018 was like really the year of terrible Instagram comedy I mean every year is but 2018 more so you know some people get famous for you know running jokes that they do stunts maybe a character but some people get famous because of how big their neck is what a time I mean I guess people are famous for their you know their butts and their and their breasts and stuff but next person we're gonna be looking at today is named Charles McDowell aka wide neck I'm sure you guys have heard of this person before but if you haven't let's do a brief biography on November 13th 2018 the Escambia County Sheriff's Office posted to Facebook that they had arrested Charles McDowell on several criminal charges they included his mugshot in their post which gained over 49,000 likes and reactions in over two hundred thirty-five thousand shares and you see the guys got a big neck lol the reason that this post got so popular was because of the comments that people left on it here are a few examples of that his neck is still at large what neck of the woods was he caught in did anyone notify his next to kin there are also a lot of memes made of this picture and I'll show you a few of those right now [Music] I thought that was the end I thought it was just gonna be a funny picture with some memes and [ __ ] no I got a lot of DMS from this account so I just said I got DMS from this account but that's not sure I got DMS of this account more specifically about a week ago someone DM me a video from an account that went by the name of damn wide neck and let's just watch it this was the video are you naked down the whole damn water man can I touch it oh oh now you spit in it yes sir okay so now why neck is making videos with supreme Patti everyone's favorite Instagram fella we love him so funny and good and hilarious so I guess after his mug shot went viral he made an Instagram account for him and his neck and now he has a million followers and to everyone following him I'd like to ask why'd you follow him you know his wide and also like why why the contraction of why and did oh man dude why don't I have a million followers on Instagram that joke was golden so obviously I was pretty surprised and kind of baffled by the fact that he is out here being an Instagram influencer content creator comedian so I did a little bit of research okay and I found out that damn wide neck has a manager and that manager manages supreme Patti know you was licking shell shots of a guy with a pack abs on the beach and also someone called damn long neck who is a real person and is actually like a really big part of this whole mess I guess we could call it so we got damn wide neck and damn long neck and they're managed by the same guy that's not fair he has too much power okay his neck levels over 9000 like what does that manager say when he's like at a bar and meeting someone hello what's your name is my name's mills nice to meet you Mills what do you do you uh are you aware of necks yeah yeah yes yes I am I manage the longest and the widest get this man a beer on me okay so you don't know who damn long neck is he's a an Instagram comedian I guess he's been doing that for a while um he just makes jokes about how long his neck is also take a shot everytime I say neck in this video you'll be dead but first you wanna lick the neck oh my god I love your [ __ ] car Lenny like a [ __ ] thing and you know what that's great I'm all for people poking fun of themselves and everything that's great okay but what I'm not cool with is this really lazy unfunny a terrible content even though that's what I make but I'm just kidding I think my videos are a little bit better like this is theirs and there's mine let's just take a look through wide next content chronologically and we'll see what his angle is what is Woody's alt what he's all about and go from there not gonna play the whole thing because you'll click to another video because it's so boring but it's pretty much these two setting up a beef between the two because you know there can only be one neck so they're like oh that's fine dude you're you got a long neck I got a wide neck so let's fight and because we're neck-and-neck right now and we'll see who will be victorious and then a few days later they finally meet and let's see the the big fight that they were training for what the [ __ ] was that oh you know in the original Pokemon games for like Game Boy when you find a Pokemon it would make a weird noise like you know that is I think he just made one of those noises that's really impressive Yii Yii and i'm [ __ ] Wynette oh you don't wanna know about the beaters as we're never there come on I thought you guys were gonna fight it's like it was fake this whole time orchestrated by their manager so they could both get followers and views oh damn it okay so now they're friends because of marketing obviously they're going to make a bunch of videos videos like like this one [Music] ah that's many like a [ __ ] tin I gotta go shower after watching that that was the most uncomfortable gross thing I've ever seen dude oh man I imagine whoever is filming is just like can I go now the girl giving massage is like what the [ __ ] this is what I'm doing in my life I might is really out of touch I don't I'm honestly I don't get it is this funny am I supposed to laugh at this what do I do with this look at the comments and see what people think of this because I'm genuinely curious this is so [ __ ] weird why the [ __ ] people getting famous for the dumbest [ __ ] okay thank God so they're making weird videos and stuff on Instagram you know trying to be funny or whatever what's the next step in Instagram stardom make a rap song so they made a song called next up spelled like neck and shiny let the neck coming next up obvious [ __ ] it's terrible so bad obviously hey guys I'm editing right now this next video I'm gonna show you house copyrighted music in it and I don't want to get claimed by UMG so I edit it a little bit but I think it makes it funnier so enjoy [Music] [Applause] [Music] man like what are we doing you know yo dude we gotta hit up the clubs and ID yeah I heard wide neck and long neck are gonna be there it's gonna be actually okay cool like would it are they like performing or they sing or anything like what do they do it's gonna be a little bit higher than us and we'll just like look at them Beauty are cute well watch one more video from wide neck and this is a collab of the century dude this is when the two necks meet cush poppy when creative minds meet only the best content is created you know so let's see what masterpiece they make six inches in height for cross interesting that's why four inches in height 9 inches doesn't make any sense okay so that's it cool uh sick video dude okay first off if you're really getting the facts out there measuring their necks or something you got it you got to do consistent testing factors you know does that make sense cuz that that for long neck and does that in that for for wide neck that's not consistent do you know the scientific method dude I don't think so a million views on that one for measuring body parts great top-notch comedy dude hey coach Bobby what do you think about that video doesn't make any sense agreed we get the point of these videos right they're all boring there's no setup or punch line or anything they repeat the same things over and over again and it honestly just seems like neither of them want to be in these videos they're just super awkward they're never really present in it they're just like yeah here we are all right and I watched an interview with this wide neck guy he actually seems like a really genuine and like down-to-earth guy you know he seemed like pretty normal you know he went he had some trouble with the law he has a big neck and went viral and then some manager was like oh yeah another net to profit on and then now he makes you do content for money and to an extent I'm okay with playing into a meme to make some money okay you might as well if everyone's laughing at you you might as well get something out of it in return you know like how long can his neck thing really last like all the comments on their videos are like what this is getting really old like the really milk and they say so I imagine they're just getting their money now and they're just gonna piss off and never make videos ever again that's good maybe we'll get enough money to get a house maybe even a car like a Toyota or a Kia a trachea trachea rope joke okay so I pretty much just wanted this video to be a commentary about how our society so douche I wanted this video to be about like how our society takes like one thing and we shove it up its own ass like so many times just wringing it out getting everything we can from it and then on to the next thing like so quick for example bird box and Bandersnatch you know those netflix things those came out like pretty much the same week and for like good like few days that's you couldn't even open your Twitter Instagram without seeing like a bird box meme or a Bandersnatch reference or something and like I only watched those two movies because I didn't want it to get spoiled when I'm like going through Twitter and Instagram and stuff you know maybe that's what they were going for like some like guerilla marketing thing whoa conspiracy hey what's up you guys yes today we're gonna be talking about bird bucks how many times have I done that joke in my videos too many to count like I love memes you know I love them they're my fave but they move way too fast now you know back in my day memes were slower and ice used to be able to take time with memes the world went and got itself in a Big Damn hurry I also think people who set out to manage these 15 minutes of fame people are really [ __ ] weird why do that why Wow I don't want to assume anything but I'm sure these two guys can make a bunch of money doing their own stuff without you know of some weird [ __ ] Instagram comedian manager being like another nickname here comes the money oh my god I can't even pull myself up so weak arms is my name in conclusion I hope I'm wrong okay I hope wide neck and long neck I hope they start making great content and I hope they have a long and fruitful career you know what I'm not gonna get my hopes up okay because I think there's still one piece of the puzzle missing okay we all know how to get the volume of something you multiply the the width the height and a length that gives you the volume right and since wide neck has got the width and I guess kinda long neck has the length and the the height I think there needs to be a new Instagram comedian that combines the two and I'm that Instagram comedian okay so I started my own Instagram comedian page and the name is esophagus Asafa underscore Gus like esophagus but Gus cuz it's a guy's name lol so this is a character I came up with who has a very voluminous neck of I'm saying that word correctly and probably not and to be honest I think he can get way more followers then then both of these dudes combined okay and I need your help for that to happen so go check out the page you know get what do you like your to be okay thank you very much for watching I now have a very special message for wide neck himself enjoy worldwide throughout the Kurdish town well subscribe for its degree below you heard the man press the subscribe button for an extra greeting I definitely didn't pay $40 for that on cameo or anything didn't happen he just did that out of the kindness of his heart and the cameo watermark in the bottom I added that in just for fun in related news if you want a video shout out for me I'm on cameo as well so check out the description for that you can get a shout out for me I'll say whatever you want I'll make fun of your dad I'll compliment your dog you know whatever thank you very much for watching if you enjoy the video please press the like button 1 like equals one neck and we all love next right also leave a comment let me know if you thought and also have a leave your best neck pun so I can incorporate it into my esophagus videos ok and also you know press subscribe button you already heard that a few times didn't wide neck told you to do it so you might as well just do it other than that check the description I'll links to my social media my Twitter my Instagram my weekly podcast that I do and the patreon for the podcast we get early access to episodes and a bonus monthly video episode alright I'll see you next week stole their joke stole their stupid joke I didn't even respect the neck I'm sorry neck neck neck in on Heaven's neck ok see ya hey guys thank you so much for watching the video if you want to see more from me then click on the screen and don't forget to press the subscribe button wide neck told you so see you next time

Channel: Kurtis Conner

Views: 2,526,752

Rating: 4.9690275 out of 5

Keywords: kurtis conner, kurtis, conner, wide neck, long neck, wideneck, longneck, damnwideneck, damnlongneck, daddy long neck, instagram, cringe, instagram cringe, commentary, wide neck guy, wide neck mugshot, reaction, supreme patty, kush papi, instagram comedian

Id: DPeHwlDzYok

Length: 16min 32sec (992 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 11 2019