Lying On The Internet For Attention

[Music] I'm back after 31 shows all across North America with Danny and drew finally back home with my doors and my plaques yeah seriously though that was such a fun tour um we had a blast shout out to everyone who came to the shows and it was a great time and I'm very happy that I got to experience that and I can't wait to do more shows for you guys like my monthly show in New York City and the last Sunday of every month at the people's Improv Theater it's gonna be a lot of fun you can any month just come see me and it's gonna be a lot of good laughs and great times also I'm doing a show in Albany on December 4th and in Syracuse on December 5th so come on out dude it's gonna be lit and fired hi sorry I just realized I was so happy to be home filming that I forgot to give an extra greeting holy [ __ ] so here goes hello if you're new here what's up how's it going and if you're coming back what's up how's it going so good to see you again hope you're well how's the close one I also forgot to do a folks collapse as well those are the two things I do in my videos if you've never seen a video of mine before and I think I would be murdered if I didn't do them so folks all right back to the video okay so since is my first video back home I feel like I need to go back to my roots about a year ago a little over a year ago now I made a video called the Internet's most obvious lies that was actually the first video of mine to ever surpass a million views so that video is very close to my heart if I said where the video was really close to my heart and I made a follow-up to that video but that was like back in like January so that was a while ago and dude every day I get DMS from you guys showing me like screenshots of lies that you see around the internet so I figured it was time okay I need to complete the trilogy all right the the trilogy it's good to be home so if you haven't seen these videos before we're gonna look through a bunch of lies that people told on the internet for attention and we're just gonna have a good chuckle at them together okay because holy [ __ ] they make me laugh so hard and it baffles me every single time that people do this also quick shout-out to the Instagram page yeah that definitely happened and to the that happens subreddit because that's where I found most of these lies so go check those people out because they're doing great work all right ready set why y'all my son woke me up out my sleep crying and said mommy I know you tired of working trying to make it better for me and my sister I'll go to work for you today this made me cry he's only one okay dude holy cat get it cuz like cap they're lying and he's also wearing a cap no bait no one-year-old baby is gonna wake you up crying and be like I want to go to work for you know they're gonna poke you and be like hey me hungee me hungry and bored give me hot dog and also my iPad now [ __ ] this straight-up just looks like they put their work uniform on their kid and we're going to take a picture of them and the kid just obviously didn't want the work uniform on so they started crying okay Lord guy all right spit his hat on I mean it Mama's gonna get so many likes on Facebook here we go hey white crap why are you crying [ __ ] cry-baby how old are you 1 or something I'll just say that I'll just say you're crying because I worked so hard and it makes you sad ok nice alright [ __ ] off crying baby he do be looking got a fresh daughter yesterday I was at aquarium with my 3 year old son and we were looking at rare fish species my son gave one of the fish a cookie because he said they were hungry the fish ate the cookie hold the manager of the aquarium saw this and shouted at my son one of the fish saw this and spit water in the managers mouth and everyone of the aquarium started clapping and the manager quit his job oh my god dude yo no car this actually happened like no carp fam cuz you know we've all been to an aquarium where it's just open and you can just toss your food in there you know that it's not like there's huge [ __ ] glass walls in between you and the rare species of fish no siree Bob it's all open so you can toss your little goldfish crackers into but holy [ __ ] the most insane part of this whole thing one of the fish saw met the manager yelling at the boy who just gave the fish a cookie and the fish got mad so the fish spit water into the managers mouth and then the manager quit on what [ __ ] planet would that ever happened my guy yo dude what happened at your job dude I well I actually I quit amen what why what happened there was this kid and this cookie and long story short I a fish spit into my mouth and I kind of just quit after that oh my god yeah it was superhot oh hell yeah I don't know man seems kind of fishy to me ja okay now reading people lying on the internet for attention is very it's very entertaining and it's hilarious but what's even better is when people get like called out for their lies you know so they have to keep lying because we're not just gonna come out and say that they lied in the first place no no siree Bob they got to keep lying I don't know why I keep saying that but it's the best when people get caught in a lie and they keep lying and make it so much worse like like this one for example I also had a pen pal for 30 years and after all that time we both discovered we were next-door neighbors so we both spent a fortune on stamps when we could have just thrown the letters over each other's fence and then we got someone calling them out on their on their lie did you not notice the address both had peel boxes I mean despite the peel boxes you would notice the same zip code lol oh I forgot to mention it both me my pen pal neighbor have amnesia yeah dude better you're going with huh I mean the PIO Box answer was like kind of smart I guess maybe that kind of makes sense but to go from that right to amnesia oh maybe this is how a Nate Garner and his girlfriend met who you are stay away cuz actually contrary to popular belief it's actually the the number one symptom of amnesia is actually a lack of basic knowledge of the u.s. postal system so and then like the minor like secondary symptom is traumatic irreversible memory loss so now you know [Music] what one did I want to look at next can't I can't I can't even remember looks like looks like I got him nedra hey what are sense all right next one ah Jesus Christ uh what the [ __ ] your eyes in your picture are obviously edited no they're not I have surgery on them after a bad accident when I was seven good save well I might be wrong but I don't think facetune owns any hospitals or had or has any surgeons on staff who will permanently put the [ __ ] detail effect on your eyeballs it'd be a great business idea but I don't I just don't think that's true right okay just a warning before we're going to see your daughter I just have to let you know that the damage was pretty severe okay after an accident like that especially to a seven-year-old we had to take drastic measures okay your your daughter's fine your your child is perfectly fine okay but their eyes just might look a little different okay I think I'm ready to see her okay right this way pull the plug have a plug what do you mean she's not even on life-support there's no plug put her on life support and pull the plug what do you know what she's doing oh oh I'm gonna freak out I'm freaked out but you shall do good with those parts you do this to me George I accidentally texted my wife with voice recognition while playing the trombone we should probably go grocery shopping later thumbs up we will we will we will here we with ain't goes on forever we well we well we allow my wife okay let's fact check it okay let's mythbuster this alright I'm gonna pull up a tromboner sound and I'm gonna play it while the the speech thing is going and we'll see what happens okay okay so I have a trombone sound effect up ready to go and I'm gonna hold my phone up and see if it actually does it [Music] nothing I bet I bet you feel pretty stupid right now idiot myth busted dude also obviously I didn't have to do that cuz obviously that wouldn't [ __ ] happen because those are the sounds that trombones make me that would be the worst [ __ ] instrument in the world if that's the noises that they made right we knew we were okay never mind that would be the best instrument ever I take it back all right we got a tumblr one these are great okay honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous [ __ ] and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I'm on the office my school has security cameras in every classroom and I've done this at least three times each class this entire year today the security guard came up to me and told me I was his hero yeah yeah did he say that did the security guard say that do that eh I don't even know if schools have security cameras in their classrooms tell me if I'm wrong but I don't even I've never heard of that that's weird as [ __ ] also if this is true if this actually happened then that means there is a security guard watching the security cameras in every class at all times that's impossible dude schools can't afford to hire dozens of security guards to just watch security camera footage from boring [ __ ] classrooms dude schools can't afford that make it schools can't even afford lined paper did but your school for can afford lined paper [Applause] also oh my god if a security guard comes up to you and is like hey I'm the security guard hi I I just gotta say I love it when you make that little face at the camera at the security camera I watch it every day I watch you all every day all day all the time and I just got to say oh my god call 9-1-1 immediately holy [ __ ] I'm hiding naked in my closet because there are mattress delivery men in my bedroom and no one thought to tell me so I was just doing my naked thing after my shower and then I was very unceremoniously shoved into my closet and I don't know how long I have to be here I don't have snacks or anything who shoved you into the closet when you were naked the mattress men that's mean okay anyways they shouldn't be doing that but let's move on update I found a chocolate bar on my shelf but also my phone battery is at 20% I feel like Bear Grylls oh whatever will I do I was shoved into this closet on ceremoniously may I add and I'm achy oh I'm so naked I'm as naked as I was the day I was born if only oh if only there was something in this closet that could make me not nakey Oh curse this life of mine my guy if this is true you're a [ __ ] idiot finally made it out of that closet now it's time to go to my dentist appointment alright now how do I get there oh no it says it's a 20-minute drive but I have to be there in exactly 20 minutes how am I gonna make it in time [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I feel like Tumblr and Facebook is where like 80% of lies take place because it's either like moms who want to just post random [ __ ] to like make other moms jealous of how sick they are and how sick their kids are so they just run to Facebook for that or it's like teens who like want to make other teens think that they're living this like crazy interesting life so they just run to tumblr for that that's my hypothesis let's let's take a look at a facebook one so this one is about like phones I guess using phones in school so I'm actually proud of my teenage son I asked him one day if he took his to school and he said no mom a phone doesn't belong at school hey Kathy sorry to break it to you your son's a loser sorry proof is in the pudding don't shoot the messenger app duck you wouldn't because you love Facebook if your son was in like a [ __ ] fire group chat with a bunch of his boys he'd bring his phone everywhere he went dude but I guess not how's that feel Kathy you got a lame ass son phones definitely belong in school bucks my kid kidding I use my phone a lot in school but you just you hey okay you could bring your I dug myself a hole here and I'm gonna stop talking let's move on let's look at a tumblr one when my mom took care of babies my favorite stories about this toddler named Eli who took a while to talk and everyone was concerned about it but one day my dad was like Eli can you say car and he looks at my dad and goes yes I can why do you ask my ex-boyfriends first word was mother followed by I'd like another bottle of milk please kids who don't talk until they can bust out a whole sentence are the [ __ ] greatest uh it's a good thing that this is not true because oh my [ __ ] god if that would be the scariest thing ever dude have you ever seen the movie look who's talking now hey sorry I got my movies mixed up I meant to say baby geniuses here forgive me baby yeah that's so stupid see you'll go nuts okay that's a horror movie it's supposed to be a kids movie it's supposed to be a family movie it's a [ __ ] horror movie dude it's terrifying baby's talking [ __ ] that there's no way that a baby's first word would be a sentence that made sense like what the [ __ ] oh now that we're talking about our kids first words my kid's first word wasn't actually a word per se it was actually my baby's first word was actually Hamlet's soliloquy so - baby or not - baby that is the question yeah he's cooler than all of your stupid [ __ ] kids okay we'll do one more my daughter kneeled down to pray at the cross in Roy's grocery not gonna lie it brought tears to my eyes guess we should start going to church edit she actually made me kneel down with her and repeat her prayer Jesus Jesus thank you she's praying to some soda pop come on man like it's it's one thing to like force your kid so to [ __ ] get down on the ground and pray do a [ __ ] cross made of Pop like a crop a pop cross pop Cross Buns hot cross buns want a prayer - a prayer pop cross buns like it's one thing to do that that's [ __ ] up but the even more fucked-up part of this picture is that that's mr. Pibb that's Pibb Xtra ah hey as far as I'm concerned that kids going to hell okay I'm sorry if that was dr. pepper well that's a one-way ticket to heaven my guy but that's [ __ ] but you're praying to mr. Pibb okay you're spending an eternity in hell that's all they drink in hell is mr. Pibb sorry hey more like mr. fib am i right [Music] [Applause] Jesus died for our pigs all right I think that'll do it in conclusion man I feel like the reason that people lie they only do it to like make themselves feel better or make people jealous of them for some reason just like just don't just don't don't post it cuz it's so obvious all the time but regardless these videos are always a blast because this it's so baffling to me that people will go go through the whole process of me like yeah okay this is will eat this up nobody will call me on my [ __ ] at all it's just it's so funny to me I love the internet so much it's crazy even after the black-eyed peas put out this song don't lie you're still doing it his name is will I am NOT will I am what am I [ __ ] saying dude okay you know what we've heard a lot of lies today okay and I'm done all right let's start getting into some truth and you know what truth be told wireless earbuds are too expensive am i right but today's sponsor has the answer that's right dude today's video is sponsored by Ray Khan if you don't know ray Khan makes comfortable wireless earphones I start at about half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the market and that's the truth baby and unlike some of your other wireless options ray con earbuds are both stylish and discreet with no dangling wires or stems and they sound just as amazing as other top audio brands you know I've been using ray cons for a while now and they're amazing for when I'm editing because I can stick them in my ears for like hours and hours on end and they don't irritate my ears or make me feel uncomfortable after a while which is great because that is an issue that I had with other wireless earbuds in the past ray cons latest model e 25 is their best one yet with 6 hours of play time seamless bluetooth pairing more bass in a more compact design that gives you a nice noise isolating fit the e25 also comes in new fun colorways as well and Ray Con was cool enough to hook up the citizens of Curtis town with an awesome deal ok so all I have to do is click the link in the description for 15% off of your order and will be supporting me and my channel so I can continue to make hot and spicy videos for you guys so it's a win-win thank you for sponsoring today's video rikon all right thank you so much for watching this video if you enjoyed it please so please press that little like button because one like equals one gallon of fish spit mmm yummy also leave a comment let me know what you thought and if you want me to do another one apart for I usually like just I like trilogies when there are just three of things but let me know I maybe I'll / I'll break that rule that imaginary rule that exists in my head for no [ __ ] reason also don't forget to press the subscribe button because I make a video every single week and as soon as you press that subscribe button you immediately become a valued member of Curtis town Curtis town is the best place to live in the world and I'm the mayor so you have to be nice to me and that's the law if you want to see all the other stuff I do you can check down the description for my social media my Instagram my Twitter links to my weekly podcast called bear really good I'm gonna start filming my podcast now I'm gonna go up on the very really good YouTube channel so I'll put the link for that down there as well also my merge down there again if you want to come see me in the New York coming up you can grab those tickets and yeah ma'am let's [ __ ] in everything I think thank you so much for watching I hope you enjoy the video I'll see you next week I have to go though I got to go but chug a bunch a mr. Pibb see ya [Music]

Channel: Kurtis Conner

Views: 4,643,865

Rating: 4.9738998 out of 5

Keywords: kurtis conner, kurtis connor, kurtis conner lies, lies, lying on the internet, internets most obivous lies, internet lies, yeahthathappened, thathappened, kurtis conner lying, fake posts, commentary, lying

Id: lqreX_EcHsg

Length: 21min 15sec (1275 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 25 2019