Tim Hawkins - Bananas: Full Acts 1 & 2 Shows

I love comedy it's fun it's about the unexpected you have no clue what I'm gonna do next do you ma'am what's your name Roxanne you don't have to wear that thing tonight Roxanne you have no clue what I'm gonna do next day [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you didn't know I was gonna do that did you Roxanna it's all about surprise Roxanne so I tell people all over the country you got to do something different do stuff that people don't expect you know like I tell my kids that when they're in class you know teach your ask them a question they don't know the answer to don't make up some dumb answer try that they will never ask you a question again can't afford to go to movies can't rent movies cuz IO late fees to every video rental place in a 20-mile radius of my house on the blockbuster witness relocation program right now to change my identity if I want to rent a movie that's buy a card now we're paying off chitty-chitty bang-bang sweetheart I love my Walmart is my favorite I look I think when I die I'm gonna donate my body to Walmart made me a front door greeter you see how you go get a card love to a comedy there's a few bad things about being a comedian now I have my own hand gesture when I tell people I'm a comedian they go oh dude you're Canadian they do that everywhere and we're in the world Huda come be good 20 40 guy see no other profession has that it's like oh you're a substitute teacher you work at the golf course like weather in Texas we had those bad hurricanes this year and they still send the hurricane correspondent down there to the scene of the hurricane to show you how bad it is why do they do this I mean we can see how bad it is and I see the trees going back and forth see the cows flying across the screen [Applause] [Music] it's my best couch then they have this thing called relative humidity which I have no idea with that store like today the relative humidity it's gonna be 80 degrees outside but it's gonna feel like 112 well then it's 112 like say I'm gonna hug you but it's gonna feel like I'm slapping you in the face back at you jump but if there is ever any hit to snow they just shut her down baby oh you got you're used to these don't you think enough pony there's the flurry bolt the doors stay the Texas had one bag of sand paste on the road like a salt shaker be ready in a minute Peppermill hard to not lose weight in texas cuz everything is fried down there gravy is a beverage it is chicken-fried steak is everywhere in every restaurant of Texas you will find chicken-fried steak I went to a Chinese restaurant they had chicken-fried steak it's called Kung Pao Bubba yeah and my family eats way too much I know if he ever anybody has a father like this my dad Lesly around the holidays he's always complaining about how much he ate what do I do this why can't I eat like a normal human being go take a nap right here yeah bring me a piece of pie and like dad can we leave the restaurant first gotta write down what you hear the way people talk is funny in Texas heard these two guys at a store talking about this thin girl they're like hi Dave check her eye out man she's pretty thin she better start eating her people gonna think she's dyslexic the disease saw this guy bragging on his kid at a little league game he's like everybody right fella Drive arm and his left arm he's amphibious special child you have there there are two people fighting in a Walmart one dimes like hey honey don't get your panties in an uproar sounds not quite right sir but people all over the world speak funny like that you know I was in the corporate world I was interviewing this guy I think it was from India and I could tell he was nervous because midway through the interview he goes yes sir I just want to get my crack in the door you do you're hired sir you really want this job yeah you common either wow this is beautiful crowd tonight we do I I do a lot of tough crowds you know last week I did a midnight lock-in for some middle schoolers about 500 of them talk about some pain there right before go on they throw in candy to the kids I'm like oh yeah I get them sugared up that'll be great like 500 Bevis clowns [Applause] crowd some of your tummies crowds are in churches during a church a while back Lin the middle my actress lady gets up I can't believe you're making butter index heavy years thank you so listen mom can you sit down I'm in the middle of an act here spit out your Copenhagen ain't alive in the sanctuary some good some bad in churches all over you know same thing there's some phrases that get kind of uncomfortable with I hear in church as I go to like the phrase love on you if you ever heard that once like the past like where's Mona welcoming visitors wages won't I love on you I'm going okay I don't think I want to be loved on by you folks just yet overuse phrases like God gave me this and God gave me that you ever been to church and yet see the lady come up and saying God gave me this song he gave it to me and then she sings the song and you're thinking maybe you should get it back love the airports I love those moving sidewalks they have at the airport so I can get to the wrong gate quicker I feel so judgmental on the moving sidewalk you know of the people who don't use the moving sidewalk I'm more like do you people not see this what about this do you not get I like to get off it you don't think just run yeah where did that guy come from was that the flesh this was my favorite superhero the flash he didn't really have a superpower he was just prompt airplanes are great except it's hard to sleep on an airplane I flew to Seattle the other day for our flight or if they can give us a little bit bigger pillows something bigger than a chiclet let me fluff this thing oh yeah fits right in the crease right there yeah can I have a hundred more of these please yeah oh no it's fine it's plenty then you give you that blanket it's gonna weigh size of a dishtowel yeah almost covers the whole pectoral right there yeah just like my comforter at home I'll land right now and then the seats are the worst how do you sleep in an airplane seat they're just like you're given the seat you know you're kind of like this yeah and that's about it right there whiplash is underrated right oh yeah that's great Posturepedic I think I'll roll over hey my seat goes bad [Music] remember that [Applause] been kicking myself up [Applause] you gotta eat at restaurants you know particularly like when you're on the road one of my favorites is the International House of Pancakes or IHOP for you members carrying members of it stuff and I have because my favorite thing is called the rooty tooty fresh and fruity kind of hard to be macho when you're ordering the ready to do depression Rudy we all need love yeah give me one of them are out there I'll need the Rudy yeah ma'am give me the Rudy to just give me the rooty tooty fresh and fruity [Applause] extra strawberry [Applause] [Music] and a coffee [Applause] then you got to rent cars when you're on the road the other day I had an upgrade for a rent-a-car they gave me a Geo Metro cup credit I was like what am I gonna close I gonna get skates [Applause] he won't be a little late to the beat love reddit cars when you're in a rent-a-car cuz you don't need Kleenexes [Applause] it's not your car you can do that get the stock waiver but actually got fired I used to rent cars has a job and won't name the company enterprise um well I got fired one day I was I don't know it's kind of a weird mood this guy comes in he's like didn't get the exact car he wanted I wanted election oh we don't have in you know we just said sir this is the only car we have he's like well do they have heated sinks I said well if you go like this [Applause] he fired me very hurt Oh people drive crazy in Texas man I don't know if they drive crazy here people just don't know how to use their cell phones they don't I'm sure none of you have that I was driving the day this lady was swerving in and out of traffic talking on her cell phone and doing her makeup at the same time driving with her knees hey huh so upset man I almost spilled my bowl of cereal I mean that is its road right there and drink milk anymore mr. Hawkins well what am I gonna drink well you can try rice milk yeah thanks doc where do I pay and then rice milk is like drinking baby spit-up it's just awful you know what I'm talking about and then means I got to go to the health food store you ever go to the health food store why do people that work at the health food store looks so unhealthy right this way to the precious [Applause] [Music] arable rice milk so much more expensive than regular milk I don't know why guess because the rice is harder to milk I don't know gotta have real small fingers air sheikah yes I'm a professional smart aleck ladies and gentleman I learned it at a young age I had a smart aleck fourth-grade teacher her name was mrs. Nelson she's one of those ladies that used to he didn't use the exact right grammar she'd make you look dumb in front of the whole class it's like I go hey miss Nelson can I go to the bathroom [Music] [Music] like I can and I just did smart aleck calling my lawyer but I found that I asked I have smart aleck questions too just like my dad took my family on a road trip my kid goes hey Dad I gotta go to the bathroom Oh number one or number two difference does it make glory doofus my dad just do this hey Dad I gotta go to the bathroom no you don't [Applause] magic I don't so going sir Jess you don't you oh you don't you remember how bored we used to get we're kids on road trips we'd have a gameboy most thing we had of that was the scratch and sniff or the call that's just sketch yeah [Applause] [Music] my mom is great well this game just sketch you remember how board made me I don't know if any of you've done this where you roll down the window and put your do the hand in the wind thing for 300 mile [Applause] my dad would not stop man he would stop when we were out of gas that's when my dad would stop 350 miles remember you'd lose like the use of your knees when you got out of the car like a pelican terrible my dad would read the road signs out loud you'd read on my logic pleased apricots in this part of the eye because there's many construction workers and we had one rule on our road trips that rule was if dad rolls down the window everyone rolls down the window you drive along here [Applause] ABB's Scott that with me come on cut it out real funny real funny pick your brother up he fainted come on and my dad was all these people he was like he has a master's degree in college but he still has to hang a tennis ball in the garage to help him park the car it's not an oil tanker it's a Pinto no no he's gotta be just hit that one - you're just right [Applause] let it go Agassi see different things I was on a talk show in Jacksonville Florida I was with this guy I was being interviewed the other guy was a baby expert and he had this new video go called teacher baby how to read like dude what good is that really I mean they can't talk I got you like the book I do do some useful teach your baby how to mow we had it tough like I said didn't intend oh we had electric football I don't know if you remember that I remember that that metal board Plastic Man plug in the wall turn on [Applause] football in an earthquake soon they would break and just go ahead [Music] playgrounds were dangerous and we're kids they got these safe playground you can't get hurt on a playground today remember the merry-go-round one much Mary about the merry-go-round he puts there no there was not the terror go round is what it was you that ride was over when you're flowing into gravel you knew that ride this over nothing left but tough skin jeans and blood I think that's him think had those metal slides go a hundred degrees in your source I'm halfway down [Applause] I got a skin graft going here man smell something burning or the teeter-totter that one taught you trust in it yep top can we get off [Applause] [Music] [Applause] the worst one were the animals on the coil they look so innocent too don't they throw your head off your neck as well I'm not hungry anymore MA no these parents that are in denial about the kid being a brat they make excuses for the kids kid stabbing people with scissors what I say oh he's just tired [Applause] hey just Nathan nappy he needs a slap a denial man the kids running around their underwear in the grocery store him oh hey oh no no batter he's 22 my mom wouldn't lie she got a just stupid gym it's a bag of rocks that boy he's likings daddy I like the way people name their kids after old games we used to play member we were kids people name the kids have the tag chase like this is my son kicked the can just capture the flat hey Red Rover get over Red Rover Red Rover Red Rover rip my arm off my shoulder [Applause] place your burger over arms with dragging the ground hit dumb games and going inside when any better our TV was not very good how many channels we have three if you were rich remember man my TV had had like legs it was on legs get up on Saturday morning about 7:00 give them Lucky Charms you know get my legs running under the TV like that far from the screen you feel a static on the hair in my face I think it's Bugs Bunny turn the channel this was your channel changer right here then that would break off you grab the pliers you're gonna chuck-e-cheese there's always one kid that's just freaked out scared of Chucky you ever notice that Chuck he's going to eat me not gonna eat you I can see why Ken would be scared you know Chuck he's big too a kid he's got the big teeth he's a big rat it's a rat with a hat running a crooked casino for children [Applause] [Music] that's favor the house man you can't win there spend 50 bucks and tokens get a plastic spider in come on Chuck he's a mafia thug rat [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] last Saturday the friends took me out of their new boat to water skiers how do you know how to try to pee to the hippie Ross and dragging around my arms are over here [Music] I remember where long ago my friends took me to ski in the store and I'm careful here's a day [Music] shelled and took the bunny to wish only a one deer mound is that you'd call the love nurse to come change my bed town [Music] [Applause] reminds oh yeah [Applause] I took my family to a movie last week I want to stay consistent with my history of making bad financial decisions to come to a movie cost a 60 bucks to get in the door that's before the snack bar and those whopper deals you get there kids like daddy we want something from the snack bar I'm like I'll go get some I don't care daddy we'll figure something out huh I'll start throwing papers or something folks I bought a box of goobers for four dollars at the movie four bucks for a box of goobers I did the math that's 23 cents of goober yes you are what you eat that's the deal there that one the bad part the bad part was when I got my drink I wanted to get a 44 ounce you know soda yeah that's a large so I said the kid I said give me the 44 ounce soda five bucks no five bucks that's get a deal like that you usually got to go to Disney World and I am mr. frugal but I order 44-ounce senator goes sir on the kids sir um you can get for 25 cents more oh you could get a 64-ounce soda and it's free refills see some of you know where I'm going with it I'm gonna make a cultural statement right now if you're drinking 64 ounces of soda and you need a refill Kling Klang hear ye hear ye you're drinking too much soda quit while you still have a pancreas man if you can't poem your drink you need to get a smaller dream [Laughter] bring me a straw [Laughter] [Applause] it's too much yeah I'm not telling you what to do folks don't you hate that when people tell you what to do with your life you get my age aside my brother's like dude nein look at you you're pasty man you're like Bobby yes you need to work on your core my what your core what am I an apple seeds in there somewhere I didn't know I had a core like no man you got to work you got to do crunches I've heard I got to do your crunches I did crunches for two weeks straight didn't help me those Nestle crunches delicious didn't help a bit and my kids I love the name of the home gyms that they have my kids bought me an AB lounge what are we gonna do AB allowance what are we either one it works I'm up to three naps a day it's really rarely working out well I want to get the bicep hammock use my lazy boy recliner for tricep extensions yeah then my friend comes up to me he goes dude you got to do Tai there you got to do Tai but all my friends talk like that tie back I don't know you college eat all that and I say what's tae-bo he goes man tybo's like martial arts and aerobics put together it's awesome I'm like dude what's so great about Tae Bo goes man really since I started taking Tai there I feel like I can defend myself in a fight imagine fighting some guy doing Tae Bo like green on dude [Applause] you pick the wrong guy [Applause] they'll run away he's going tae-bo give him away yes you did I think I pulled a muscle when I did that hideout well I don't know I just can't help myself I just love to eat on it I come up here and you have these white castles Oh talk about a house of worship that is a wonderful place I know it says why is going in to White Castle always a good idea coming out of White Castle such a bad idea why is that if I walk out of there what we do that for is there a live animal in my stomach what's in there you drive dude I can't make a fist what am i chewing on it is that an onion group it's a gummy bear how'd that get in there you do some tada but it's great when you go to White Castle I'm singing songs to that place like I'm dreaming of them why Gotham just like the ones I used to know where the beef is demon it gets me dreaming hmm my indigestion starts to grow I really dig those gut bombers they're not little fat but I don't care I'll be blowing onions in the and blowing out my brand-new underwear oh man then you leave the White Castle got to go to Krispy Kreme do they have Krispy Kreme Doughnuts here oh my goodness I don't care if they can't spell Krispy or cream that place is the place you've had Krispy Kreme zooms are wonderful aren't they it's like eating a baby angel I don't even know what that joke means but you know what I'm talking about some of you know exactly what I'm talking about and my in my town they have the Krispy Kremes store we can go and you can watch those Krispy Kremes being made uh-huh God is so good that one is mine see that's my dream when I'm 40 I want to go to Krispy Kreme lay on that conveyor belt when it goes under that icing part just get a full body glazed wouldn't it be wonderful Oh I can afford it I'll pay for it the old body glaze so that's a problem when you're almost 40 you can't really eat anything anymore my wife is like you know nothing can't drink real soda anymore got a drink diet mmm anybody here remember the first diet soda tab tab there's like carbonated epic AK you remember tap sure it's easy to lose weight when you dry heaving all the time like how's your tab it's great I've lost 30 pounds and my purpose of living and the feeling in my legs I cannot eat anything it real anymore can't eat real eggs mm-hmm got eat egg substitutes it freaks me out where are they getting those things what kind of chickens are popping up those little little bad boys oh that's an egg substitutes got a plastic shell look at that thing take it to room B can't drink regular milk anymore got a drink rice milk yeah rice milk how'd it get in that he had real small fingers I'm gonna do until some of you get this joke I'm milking a piece of rice ladies and gentlemen you come back in here we'll have you cup rice milk and the worst is I can't eat bacon anymore candy I love bacon I put bacon in my cereal my wife's like I'll get you some bacon I'll go to the organic store and get you some bacon she goes the organic store she brings back this stuff called turkey bacon turkey bacon how is that possible the turkeys and a pig shacking up now or something what is going down on the farm folks gobble gobble oink oink I don't think so I'm open-minded but that ain't Christian right there that ain't right it's horrible let's hurry bacon just lays flat when you cook it that ain't right Bacon's supposed to crinkle up when you cook it lays flat like eating a meat flavored fruit roll-up or something alright let me think where I'm gonna go next with you people no that's it I don't see the thing is is I love candy too much it's just it's hard to resist you know that's why I love Halloween anybody here do Halloween okay it's just about getting candy admit Crick's trick-or-treating just about getting candy the good candy not the bad candy you member getting bad candy when you went trick-or-treating like homemade popcorn balls here we get those why don't you eat it remember wax lips anybody ever get wax lips wasn't that a treat we'd eat that stuff for prints like what's that I don't know what's it taste like it has no flavor whatsoever it's just getting bigger as I do it maybe the hard way [Applause] you guys remember those wax bottles we used to have with that liquid what was that transmission fluid in there what was that just bring a knock him down just keep him coming no wonder we have health problems later in life we're drinking battery acid out of wax bottles oh the worst candy though is that Brown taffy in the orange wrapper uh-huh tasted like peanut butter and hair you remember that [Applause] and you ate it you like cuz your daddy ate all the good candy that's why you're eating that stuff you didn't have a choice you buddy here to have a dad to clean them out of all the good candy when you brought it home wasn't that great you come down you take off your costume come down he's in a sugar coma down on the couch like Twix wrappers all over his body Jolly Ranchers stuck in his hair I think I wonder who did that bring the brown taffy I guess I'll have to eat that bad candy I hated trick-or-treating I hated it so we lived in an older neighborhood my mom would take me trick-or-treating in our neighborhood then older folks no older folks are nice they just don't know what candy is you know what I'm saying I used to get like hauls mentholyptus drops and bouillon cubes and sucrets and those little red dental tablets she used to have to chew to see where you didn't brush stained your teeth red for like a year looks like you got punched in the mouth they didn't know what candy was and I just get this specialist stuff I'm like mommy what is this what yes my mom would always say the same thing what do you say what do you say the nice lady you messed up you need to get a clue green beans ain't candy okay I hated Halloween but you know what the worst part about my Halloween's were is that I was a middle class or so we didn't get the ninth plastic pumpkins plastic foam anybody here have to use your dad's old smelly pillowcase to collect candy wasn't that a treat it's like Bing bong just put something in the back I don't know what that smell is it's like Aqua Velva and something Mac it's like old spice mixed with an armpit I don't that's what my dad smelled like I don't care if I offended you Old Spice in an armpit it's kind of disgusting but kind of comforting old man you know Halloween know where you've always asked me where I get my material from where do you get your stuff huh say something funny your comedian say something funny no other profession deals with that you know you're a doctor take out my pen right now your realtor come over when I'm not ready you're a lawyer get over here kids that fits sometimes don't they they just do I mean I'm I got four kids I'm your shoes to it we're we're broke let me be honest with you can't save money with kids can you this summer I bought a five-dollar slip and slide for him got a $800 water bill don't you love with how reality smacks you in the face every once in a while but they get with the one I don't see what kids the kids I don't see I hear a lot of whining anybody here got kids that whine at all okay you bunch of liars and I look at kids like what do you have to whine about what no right nothing nothing my kids will find stuff to whine about you know this iPod only gets twenty five thousand saw now this is ridiculous man I need more ticket kikikiki more what okay shoot man my daughter says I don't know the iPod to Big Daddy it's just too cumbersome iPod is too cumbersome anybody here remember jogging with a Walkman cassette player remember those days let's go for a run okay then you get the portable CD player you had to run real smooth wouldn't skip Oh take it easy I got Olivia newton-john in this bad boy you remember that stuff iPods man huh 25 thought you guys remember 8-track tapes anybody in here yeah you're from Ohio you know exactly what I'm talking about remember eight tracks that were horrible you're lucky to get five songs and one of them Thanks and the tape would always break remember cassettes and 8-track tape but always break couldn't go download another one didn't have any money he had to fix it but you could fix those eight tracks couldn't you a little piece of tape it's gonna splice it you were back in business of course it always had that warble in it now since you fixed it here if you leave me now [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I just want you to stay [Laughter] and the bet you'd get used to it remember that then you hear the song on the radio you're like that must be the new version good ol iPod yeah my kids make up stuff to whine about that's is what drives me crazy they'll invent things the other day I made my kids a full balanced breakfast you know on the side of the cereal box has the full balance bread I did that took me like two hours made that I'm like kids come meet you some breakfast daddy made you breakfast they go in and eat I go into my office a minute later I hear this ring in what's going on what's wrong there's pop in the orange juice [Laughter] [Applause] what my gosh did I miss the meeting or something when was there a pulp choice one if you don't want pulp scoop it out yourself that's where pulp is like kryptonite to my kids you know when I want to be alone I go in my office put pulp around the door you got daddy [Applause] [Applause] Paul you got to be kidding me here's another example whining I took my kids to this theme park called Six Flags anybody heard of that just theme park really fun took him there I spent half a grand in a day half a grand in a day and we're driving home that night the van I hear this in the backseat I'm like Oh what seems to be the problem sweetie Billy's daddy took them to Disney World this week for a whole week and we just got to go to fix bad hey sweetie look at daddy jesus take the wheel take it from my hands cuz I cannot do this on my own you ever just think about doing that like let's just see what happens we're insured let's just go for it but how ungrateful is that really Disney World I say we make a new theme park will call it third world sent him there for a couple weeks see if they don't come back a little more grateful take him to the third world daddy I want a happy meal he'll be happy to get a meal son keep walking daddy's still white in the Seven Dwarfs no that's a missionary and seven pygmies come on keep moving daddy Mickey Mouse no that's a giant rat rod [Applause] [Music] he's gonna eat you I mean you love your kids though you do but sometimes you know you just don't know the other day we were driving we saw this holiday in the sign outside says kids stay free on weekends [Applause] [Laughter] y'all just finished the joke in your own head right there if you be so kind we got him on Monday they were fine they were fine four kids my wife is just amazing and I she's uh she's been he's battling a winning fighter she's thriving in with breast cancer right now I don't know it's gonna be on the video and I don't mean to brag it drag you down but pray for her her name is Heather and she's doing really good and uh it's just been a weird year but and we want it to be over with but it's it's good it's going really well and she's gonna make it she's gonna be great so he would keep her in your prayers you know and some of you here tonight I don't know I think you were here for a reason I think that I don't know what it is I don't know but I guarantee there's at least one person here tonight that needed to be here you know it's good to cut loose and have fun every once in a while because life isn't you know I'm just tough it stinks sometimes but you know it's good to hang out and let loose every once in a while but I don't know people you know where do you get your material it's just really simple it's simple people are just goofy it's like every time my wife was pregnant expect almost ready to give birth you know people would come up to her women would come up to her and tell her what the child was gonna be like they knew they'd come out oh you're gonna have a boy how do you know well you're carrying in the front I'm no doctor where else is she gonna carry that thing back in her calf it's a girl twins and a boy oh I don't mean to judge people to some parents it's like they prepared their kids the kids not even born yet and they're already trying to parent the kid you know these people who read to their children in the womb you know sit there once upon a time there were three bears Papa Bear mama bear and baby bear come on the kids in fluid he probably hears this kids like it's my mom Charlie Brown's teacher how'd I get stuck with this how about these parents you like play music for their kids in the womb what's that music for your kids in the womb like the kids go on yeah I'd snap if I had fingers yet see that's the cool thing about it being a baby in the womb you get a new body part every day it has how many of these am I gonna get little babies yeah most babies are cute some babies you know just I don't know you don't judge me you know what I'm talking about they turn out fine but you come on and you're like you hey you don't know why do the parents standing right you hey it's a baby looks just like you I didn't know you can get a wart that early in life but you know I talked about GPS and technology I think the best the best technology I saw it was with the babies it was with our children the ultrasound you all know what ultrasound is is where you can you know the sound waves and you know give you pictures of the child and it's just awesome and the weirdest thing was that each shot child that we had in the ultrasound what they did in the ultrasound that's what they did when they were born that while like my first child my son in the ultrasound he was like when he was born he did that a lot my second child my daughter you know in the ultrasound she's like huh so and she was born she took a lot of naps they might sure third child was born my son ultrasound he was like so he has allergies that's it thank you thank you ladies and gentlemen hey I'm gonna do a couple songs can I do a couple songs and we'll be done here [Applause] this is fun man I think I enjoyed this time better than the last time I was here tell you true you guys unbelievable last time I was here just you know and didn't you know wouldn't you know feelers didn't get when I was doing I don't think I'm just gonna dumb yeah you're there remember that sir [Music] others do a lot of music if I get bored with it a lot a lot of songs are too long you know I'm talking about your been in the car and you're like oh gosh finish we understand what you're saying I get it you're Fergalicious good for you yay Chapter three a lot of songs are too long I think so I think some songs would be one verse just one verse like a member Kenny Rogers song the gambler okay that was a question y'all have radios where you come from here's Kenny Rogers song the gambler in one verse right here on a warm summer's evening I met a man who played cards well but he died at the table and I want all of his money thank you not very funny but true I think the longest song in history was a song called the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by a guy named Gordon Lightfoot and I was like 98 verses I'm gonna try the unthinkable I'm gonna do the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald in one verse for you here we go ready the story lives on telephone she went down and the people all died bummer you [Applause] [Music]

Channel: RandomAndysChannel

Views: 241,531

Rating: 4.817822 out of 5

Keywords: Tim Hawkins, Comedy, Comedian Tim Hawkins, Bananas, Stand Up Comedy, Hilarious, Funny

Id: XMIVeVkma3M

Length: 61min 57sec (3717 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 10 2019