Surviving Edged Weapons - JonTron

[Music] excuse me mr. Kringle sir we know you're probably real busy tonight but we thought we'd give you these you know to keep your strength up for the long journey oh you kids Santa's got something very special for you what if this happened to you would you been able to protect your family from Santa's relentless flurry of edge based attacks worry not though those kids were on the bad list but what if they weren't that's exactly why you need this surviving edged weapons the best police training film ever made never again succumbed to the evil of any pointy object no matter how long sharp or delicious [Music] [Applause] you [Music] today we're gonna take a look at something called surviving edged weapons which was a film issued to the Canadian police force in 1988 with the intent of training set police force how to survive and deal with what they refer to as edge based attacks we talking like edge of a table Microsoft browser well none of those actually what they mean when they say edge based attacks is primarily blades with often comical and novel examples so yeah this was meant to be an actual documentary for police on how to best avoid and deflect situations involving knives katanas chainsaws you name it okay basically anything pointy pencils you got to see this one to believe it so let's watch from the beginning man has possessed the attributes of the animal and from his human inventiveness came weapons that could puncture and slash his enemies flash did we really have to go back to the fossil record to determine the origin of the shiv we're going back down the family tree to Homo erectus to find out why man's got an unquenchable thirst for thrusting he developed the instinct speed power dynamic movement and to illustrate this raw primal vigor we've found the fattest most mentally incapacitated looking caveman we could possibly find gradually which has changed very little man created a knife culture a knife culture can someone please explain to me what exactly constitutes as knife culture [Music] nice culture still slashing and stabbing its enemies the knife culture is still alive and deadly right here wouldn't you know it at home in the Bronx what's happenin man now that's it got the money mom this is the [ __ ] man [ __ ] stair man was the money five minutes five minutes late oh man no money don't [ __ ] [ __ ] was there if you wanted it but unfortunately no money no [ __ ] [ __ ] was there hold on you asked me can you explain the rules again well the knife culture continues to hone its skills many officers dismiss the edged weapon is a mere relic from man's primitive roots no they don't no one takes a look at this and goes oh very fine specimen is is it from the Neolithic what Museum does it belong to hey you Pig I wouldn't finished writing that ticket if I were you okay Wow real scary Fred Flinstone what are you gonna do next with that thing you gotta jump in this car hop in this car paddle it with your feet like Wilma and Barney damn it you I should have brought a gun usually unexpected is a favorite tactic of edged weapon offenders I told you three times to stop by under customer this time you go to jail - cool oh god damn it I need a new job basic perception if you get into a knife attack is there's gonna be one single thrust you're gonna cleanly and effectively block it and that's gonna be the end of it you know the basic perception is I'm James Philips okay I'll bridges the rough-and-tumble world you think around way okay - complicated business you're gonna bend that knife out of his hand and I rest a bad guy not saying it doesn't work that way sports fans yes sports fans you lagging behind you making president knife expert James except to repeat himself get your [ __ ] together [ __ ] sports fans things go from bad to horrible real quick right away you're in deep [ __ ] you're in bad shape you're in a bad place you're in what I'd call it not good you know lower than ideal not where you'd want to be situation our goal is to help you avoid becoming an edged weapon statistic by teaching you how to make a proper threat assessment and how to react with control now what we really want to instill in you is not just how to spot an edged weapon but also what to look for and what to do about it okay in fact just behind me right now it's a great example we don't know what that could be could just see the health of his sword poking out there it could be his viand or a katana jumping Jehova James that's a scimitar he's got very formidable sword don't want to tangle with that thing designed to kill when making contact with the body now remember the first thing you got to do in this scenario is stay calm if you don't get him on the first shot you've always got four more hey I got him in one but don't feel bad if you don't okay take as many tries as you need see what I want you to really internalize is that this method is nearly 100% effective because even if he does manage to get in close okay he's really not gonna want to get hit with those slugs okay he's gonna avoid it as you can see at all costs cuz it's gonna hurt and burn his internal organs edged weapon attacks often occur in unlikely situation hold on does this man just casually have a claim or his sitting in the corner of his house I have nothing left to lose in this world my wife abandoned me my children hate me now this cop is knocking at my door and I have King Arthur's literal [ __ ] Excalibur right next to me now that did not just happen how did they make this with a straight face and then show it to an academy of police officers as official training protocol adding to the threat are a host of improvised weapons a baseball cap with razor blades sewn to the back which can be swung by the bill to cut your face guys a legend all right is a regular Mexican odd job not on US by day by night here's Daniel common household items can produce extreme damage an attack with this grapefruit cutter would be like getting stabbed with two knives this improperly stored Swiss Army knife could be like getting stabbed with three there's no way to know for sure but these four regular knives taped together would likely cause a sensation of four knives stabbing at once there's simply no telling how far this rabbit hole goes switch blades and gravity blades can be drawn and used instantly this is speed with which attacks can occur buck knives can be locked in place when drawn even with one hand please watch how fast someone who's really skilled and get into action with a knife wait what were there any frames between when he was standing and when the knife came out I didn't see it dude go back go back I didn't see it there's no frames dude that's just he's been holding the knife for the entire time go to a baby picture of him dude he's had that night the whole time he never put that out officers who fall victim to edged weapons usually commit at least one critical error like miss reading what could be a weapons try it again this time Anjali the pens in the trailer Cory come through sir sometimes it's the unlikely individual who has the best chance of harming you yeah sure is dude you could have just put the pins in the tray let's be real okay now you're going to jail for the rest of your life was it [ __ ] cool absolutely was [ __ ] cool was it worth it I'm not so sure you were just on your way to see your grandma and Miami Beach you didn't have to savagely murder that Airport attendant I'm not one to judge but a third type of behavior usually occurs as a defensive reaction by an offender away from the taunting gesture what he's telling you is don't invade my space or I'll attack you soon after this grandiose display he will retreat back to his den to tend to his newborn cubs once again secure in his domain whether you actually have to use deadly force will depend on the suspects action she's got a knife god damn it Rick take cover that knife is fully loaded tonight [Music] lady I never wanna do this I told you to drop the dime knife [Music] when you do have to use your firearm remember this acronym spends go on take notes you better not forget that smells how could how could you ever forget that you shoot to stop the attackers threatening action that's a good one remember that shoot first men's later you move out of the attackers path well you move until you're on the run now quick get out of there for the police come oh wait I am the police you going to jail for a long time son you evaluate whether the attacker has been incapacitated yeah I shot him I he's dead you neutralized the continuing threat if it has not been stopped neutralized okay this one was already accomplished in step one in steps you okay don't need this one it's redundant and finally you scan the area for other threats you're the threat in this particular situation so unless you're scanning in the mirror don't scan surely just beasts man if I'm being honest you don't even really gotta evaluate just sink we gotta move just just shoot just remember to shoot the guy it's really all this got to say how many edged weapons do you see now [Applause] you [Music] oh I didn't expect to see you two again this year on account of the aortic ruptures so tell me this year have you been naughty or nice I'll show you the true meaning of Christmas remember Smiths step 1 shoot step two move step three evaluate step 4 neutralize step 5 scan [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I just want to give a huge shout out to Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring this video many of you out there have been asking me for my shaving routine so I thought I would share you know I may have a lot of sharp and shiny things laying around but what do you think I use this what did you think that I use the highest quality razors only which is why I use Dollar Shave Club and it's not just razors you can get from them you know it's shaving creams lotions deodorants abs you name it they got everything to keep you feeling rugged and fresh throughout the day I'm really tucking everything ok they've even got they got fresh and tingly peppermint one wipe Charlies I'll let you use your imagination as to where the one wipe is going down I know what I'm talking about ok I use Dollar Shave Club myself I get a box from them every month you can mix and match what you receive every month with their super intuitive graphic interface and you change the frequency with which you received each item it really beats going to the store every month I just come straight to your doorstep and you're ready to go if you want to shave the jobs wrong way go to dollarshaveclub.com on tron to get the shave starter set for only $5 and check out all their great holiday gift sets after that the restock box ships full-size products at regular price [Music]

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 10,451,296

Rating: 4.9542918 out of 5

Keywords: jontron, surviving edged weapons, edged weapons, funny, police, training video, comedy, 1980s

Id: HFn495_Xsr0

Length: 14min 29sec (869 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 20 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Dead meme is going to be a good GIF.

[u/raspymorten]

Geniunely so fucking happy that this FANTASTIC Redlettermedia Classic is exposed to a larger audience.

I haven't laughed at a movie review harder than I had laughed at that one Wheel of The Worst.

[u/SexFlez]

Posting this video five days before Christmas, when everyone would be too busy with family, was really sharp.

[u/walterjohnhunt]

Jon's just jealous that Macaulay Culkin won't hang out with him.

[u/Shtabie]

Huh, this is the second video this year where Jon has borrowed ideas from Red Letter Media

[u/Benito7]

Brought to you by the good people at Red Letter Media

[u/jayzus9]

"This guys a regular Mexican oddjob"

[u/fireork12]

At least there's no RAID ad...

[u/jaskano]

It's about family, and that's what's so powerful about it.