Boating Made (TOO) Easy! - JonTron

oh no my pc is destroyed and I only have consoles how am I gonna play counter-strike now and the xbox version is a sin against God I've got it I'll play war face breakout hey everyone today's video is sponsored by my games and breakout is the brand new online team-based FPS for Xbox one and ps4 a spinoff within the warface universe heavily inspired by counter-strike with gunplay focused combat and storm mechanics breakout brings a classic but challenging competitive FPS experience and if you're worried about the cost you're in luck the game is only $19.99 for the standard edition and also it only uses a cosmetic monetization system so you don't have to worry about mr. moneybags out spending you to win this is not the game mode to go it alone you'll get stomped so get ready to work together with your teammates to detonate that bomb to victory and speaking of which season 1 just came out yesterday yeah literally yesterday it has ranked matches and exclusive seasonal challenges and items so what are you waiting for okay I know you're itching to play so you'll go click that custom link in my description bye break out and join me today not only will you be supporting my channel but you'll get a sweet game as well I gotta be honest with you guys okay guys just gotta be honest I want to drive one of those guys big small ancient long ship Aztec raft tell me something if I shouldn't be driving a boat why does that man look so at peace I could be that man but you won't let me he's even brought his little lunch box his wife made him peanut butter jelly some [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] them don't [ __ ] talk to me what about that okay I'm a circle of you what about that doesn't signify some kind of status or power okay I want it but they won't let me drive it they tell me I need a license okay I need a license to drive a boat I can't just get in one my son gotta get the tourniquet okay apparently I need a license follow me this is a true story okay I wanted to drive a boat and they told me that I need a license first and you know they said we can provide you a captain but I wanted to you know just take a little motorboat out on the lake so it'll be a little awkward to just have the dude hang in there in the cabin with me so that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna get my boating license today yeah shut up no I want to use it as my default browser I can't find the Xbox button on the firefox browser so I guess we're just eternally in Firefox I'm in New Hampshire right now so how to get a boating license in New Hampshire you need boating education in New Hampshire you don't need to have any education to buy a gun though you can just go pick that up at Walmart I learned to boat comm okay new interactive official New Hampshire boater safety course there's the card chain boater that's a very convenient name to have that's that's a conversation piece you know you take that out at like a luncheon and go can you believe this my last name my address it looks fake by the way this is a NASA approved course in case you were wondering because I don't do frankly anything NASA blood hasn't officially endorsed for real I really was trying to get my boating license and then I found out you could just do it online and I thought that's a bit range because how am I gonna learn to drive a boat online I don't know we're gonna find out get your New Hampshire boating license in three easy steps one playing past the $40 interactive course play and pass I don't recall playing many courses back in school but okay well I need like an oculus rift for this once you successfully guide your group to safety we hope you may take the final exam you have multiple attempts to pass the final exam okay other courses do they have no minimum time requirements and complete the course under three hours and real-life situations other courses fake life only role-playing simulations is it other courses have that man what students are saying about our interactive course Lanny are from Virginia says five stars okay great easy and educational the price was well worth it okay real-life situations were off the [ __ ] shark I say [ __ ] cuz he [ __ ] on this website can I say [ __ ] breath if I can't I'm sorry but that's what it was all right register here we go my username real-life situations lover 5,000 who is that my counts been updated successfully this man is staring deeply into my soul what is going on okay let's cut to the chase let's let's get our boating license here we go now what's that exactly the mystery of calcio me i'll what is this what is some scooby-doo [ __ ] is this what they meant by play to get your license okay start the adventure late spring the lake town docks Troy Alexis Julian and Mia meet for a day of boating at the SSW edge of the ever more room in base in a large freshwater lake the lake is large covering some shutup pidgin the lake is large covering some 22,000 square miles navigating it is a task for an experienced safety conscious boater these friends boat experience ranges from high to low Mia is newest to boating as the group travels down the dock where the boat is moored Mia quiz the others on the experience okay let's go Troy Troy's the most experienced you don't need to worry I grew up on the shores of straw lake my brother Vincent I spend as much time on the water as we could I know what I'm doing Mia laughs at Troy's defensive tone Julian has some boating experience I started the boat education course but it finished it still I'm sure I know what I'm doing I've been out on the water hundreds of times should Mia believe Julian that he has been on the lake hundreds of times no you are sharp tens of times max Julian Julian does tend to exaggerate this guy I wouldn't trust a single thing coming out of that guy's mouth and Troy knows this he turns to Julian and raises his eyebrows in mock skepticism okay okay sis Julian so I've been boating just a handful times but I'm a quick learner stop exaggerating how many times you've been out on the water raising my about some mutton mock skepticism to you Troy leads the way down the dock and stops in front of an impressive boat here she is this is a lake song our ticket to paradise Julian is impressed unlocked you've unlocked your the boat achievement finally dude I finally got my the boat achievement I've been waiting at least 10 minutes for this she's fantastic Alexis eyes the vessel from bow to stern this is one of the longest boats see what's so sexual where do i [ __ ] the boat I learned to boat calm where do I where do I insert my shaft body of a vessel that's a home got it red and green lights all round light those are the side lights upper edge of a vessel that's clearly a gun way that's a gun whale that's why they're always saying in the [ __ ] boat movies have you checked the gunwale how's the gunwale they say it like three times it's too many gunwales they say I'm not I'm not fully sure that I wouldn't kill somebody getting this license that I'm about to get in under three hours the four friends climb aboard wow it feels larger than it looks to see how many people bow can hold Julian continues smugly you just have to look at the capacity plate don't tell me you didn't know but the capacity plate you know I would love to read all this information here you know they got even a math equation yeah I would like to learn that maximum number of people equals boat lengths in feet times boat length width and feet over 15 but actually I think what I'll do is I'll just just keep clicking the the I'll just keep clicking stuff yeah I think I think that'll work too great job big progress I'm really learning I think I could take it out in fact can I just go right now so what happened with the captain of the rock candy ass Alexis Troy winces and Julian looks sick the rock candy was a vessel about the same size as the lake song last Independence Day your captain took his family and some friends out on the lake to watch the fireworks sounds like it should have been fun says Mia it should have been fun but the captain was inexperienced problem was they were overloaded 27 passengers if I recall the boat was unstable the rock candy hit the wake of another vessel the capsize was anyone hurt me asked for people including the captain's wife and twin daughters they actually found claw marks in the on the underside of the cabin has it been even Julian seems affected okay that the heartless bastard that he is instead of cracking a joke like he normally would he turns to Mia you okay what a story right frustrated what kind of response is that hey this man's wife and it's twins drowned in a watery grave frustrated speaking of safety I'll go ahead and get started on our pre-departure checklist well none of the buttons don't worry it's 3:00 departure checklist Troy you seem like a nice guy but you're a bit tone-deaf now there's something bout police what is this a [ __ ] but it is like a scooby-doo murder mystery enter the store greeted by the owner mr. Willard I swear to god they're gonna be pulling the werewolf mask off this guy later then we go to mr. Willard it was you all along you were the werewolf yes and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids and your about safety and your dog if you do you have a dog I just haven't I have a strong feeling this [ __ ] should have been a dog with you I hope whoever I rent the boat from doesn't see this might get a little bit awkward I'm sorry I just saw Cletus scowls oh don't start up that malarkey again Cletus Cletus [ __ ] its guide scowl two of you mr. Willard talked to me like that there were some scientists who did research on calcio me I'll darn right there were says Cletus they researched pollination of the islands rather unique flora genic research is what I heard Letus explains they first took a falcon for its size and I a bat for its sonar a tiger Hornet for his relentless hunt and kill instinct a wind go up to calcio me i'll Cades us you want to meet a mutant by the way which side of the boat is the starboard side effects of alcohol choose the ability that is most likely to be affected by alcohol in the situation Ian sees the US Navy vessel ahead and decides to move in for a closer look you're having a couple Coronas with the buddies the US Navy vessel appears in your line of sight do you a go what's up guys if a US Navy vessel is part of the training don't you think maybe I need a little more training than asked you new mystery a new grounds flash game judgment correct alcohol can cause you to make poor decisions visibility is limited but ian is in a hurry increases his speed I'm gonna go 3 action time wrong it was judgment again cuz really alcohol would impair your judgment and in any any situation doesn't have to be a navy vessel there for that to happen can just be open water as far as I can see its judgments all the way down dude its judgments all the way down even a slow to respond to another person's horn toot what was that was that a horn toot twins drowned wives the head is that that's gonna agree action time that time was reaction time Ian forgets there's a vest lowest port excite that judgment this judgment Ian's boat has a capacity for four people it takes six people out on his boat that's judgment alcohol can cause you to make poor decisions if you need judgment don't get on a boat and drink because you're gonna be all out of judgment and a little bit of reaction time troy finds a worn down sign laying on the sand and picks it up what's it say asks mia looks like part of a logo and the words genetics and field study so is that come before after i drop the anchor line as you can see here on my achievements board the boat I've got three points of progress trip planning and prep two points of progress emergency prep three points down here in mystery that's in progress the mystery bow Stern put the guy in reverse drop the anchor what happened to those genetic mutants on calcio me I'll put it in revert turn it up wind check it out for landmarks the path winds deeper okay now I'm really captivated here just wanna do something nice for my wife's birthday that's it now I'm on the island with the genetic experiments Mia stops and cups are here listening she points to the woods off the side the path it's a buzzing from up there that's the tiger Hornet that's the genetics of the tiger Hornet that they put into the bear he should run you should run the fighter gunboat save you well late afternoon is an active time for bee shut the [ __ ] up Mia how about that please don't forget to drop anchor while turning away from the shore this is for real guys if we don't disturb them they won't bother us this Troy come on let's see what's on the other side this hill this is how you die Troy I was just thinking about how I signed up to go boating and not nature hiking says Julian yeah me too Julian yeah me too suddenly the last of the fog clears away revealing a bright blue afternoon sky in the lush beauty Island the boat is nowhere to be found what do you do if you're stranded on an island with a mutant tiny Hornets that's not in the manual there they are part Thal can part bat puck Hornet just like Cletus described you should have listened to cleanness cleanness was like dude my note I know my famous Cletus and that's like a stereotypical hick name therefore you'll be less likely to listen to me or dismiss me but genuinely there's a there are bat Falcon wasps on that Island and a failed genetic experiment go at your own peril I'm speaking standard English they're coming this way and fast how the [ __ ] did this pass FDA restrictions are whoever the photo who the [ __ ] deals with both NAMM blam blah well how the [ __ ] did this pass standards that they find the paddleboards just as they left them and quickly paddle to lake song how are they gonna get me back to boat safety questions that's what I want to know that's actually what I want to know great job I made progress on the safe boat operation achievement but I'd not on mystery I made no progress on mystery like I saw like mutant Falcon bat Hornets and that's no progress on mystery but progress on boat safety got it got it no it's just so we're [ __ ] clear all their [ __ ] they're there in pursuit you guys didn't get away this is where the boat knowledge really comes in handy so I can see that the swarm is slowly gaining on him and he estimates they'll catch up to the boat very soon you reconsider the speed options aside to maintain current speeding speed up slightly or go to full speed [ __ ] that's a kick Newton state to guts just as Troy's about to pull the throttle full power he remembers the radio is broken what's ready to have to do with this I don't know it's really useless on the situation just go forward if they can think about the radio I mean you want listen to Celine Dion fine but do it later don't anyway nobody care tried your hands the throttle forward and the engine responds with a pleasing growl the lake songs bow rises into ploughing mode so Troy continues adding power until he brings the bone to a faster planning mode read more about how holes operate hmm hole displacement is limited to lower speeds moves through the water by pushing the water so we can't [ __ ] read the stupid [ __ ] newbies chasing it mate I just paid I roma stare I've almost got my boating license we have completed the boat boating equipment trip planning and prepped safe boat operation emergency prep other water activities she's got to get one more tick on the mystery that I get mine as blow approved card and get out in the open water so let's have a look here what it did happen the arrest of mr. Willard is surprising as none of the friends had suspected him I called that I didn't even know that was gonna happen if it wasn't for you or your meddling boat safety and your dog which I I just have a feeling there there could be a dog when you should be a dog with you they wonder if more arrests will come because it seems unlikely that mr. Willard was working alone I gotta be honest Lee I clicked most of this I'm not sure why resting I've been working out of cover for nearly a year now to try to solve this case and thanks to you we did it Julien is a fifth fist bump Matt grins we found the hidden stream that you reported and followed it to cave there we found the most recent stolen boat and a chop shop operation what about the mutant bee bat Falcons I want to know about that Willard clammed up says Mac but based on your hunch about Cletus well one thing left to another we found out of evidence the point to clean this as well rested they're all criminals the friends are overjoyed with the news and celebrate with a series of hoots high fives and a couple of horn toots courtesy of Julian ah as they as they celebrate to men's incarceration onward they never came back to the mutant Falcon bad bees [Music] now don't forget to check out breakout today by clicking the custom link in my description each month the ranks reset so get in there to rank up and collect some epic cosmetics [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 7,563,294

Keywords: JonTron, boating, jontronshow, boat license, scooby doo, funny, comedy, game

Id: ZMD-6K40lTs

Length: 19min 44sec (1184 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 19 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Spyroexe]

Jon plays game?

[u/GoddyofAus]

Completely lost my shit at the random fact sheet about boat hulls interrupting the big dramatic moment with the bees lol

[u/triotone]

Well of course they didn't talk about the Mutant Falcon-Bat-Bees, they were too busy discussing about the Mutant Falcon-Bat-Hornets. Incredible difference between the two.

[u/Squish_the_android]

Believe it or not it actually used to be even EASIER to get a Boating license in NH. You just had to take an online test and could have the book open in front of you.

[u/NeilaTheSecond]

I guess this is as close as it gets for Jon to play a game again.

"Bootleg Visual Novels - Jontron"

ALthough it would be good material for an actual video because VN games are full of weird shit. Even the well made ones.

[u/The-Sublimer-One]

I think this is the same way I gained my license to perform a marriage ceremony

[u/MapleJava]

i expected jon just watching boat instructions, and ended up watching him play a visual novel

[u/DIA13OLICAL]

I was a bit sceptical that this was real but the site is right there when you search for it. They even paid for Google ads

https://www.ilearntoboat.com/newhampshire/

[u/Megakarp]

Where do I fuck the boat? Today's video is sponsored by Azur Lane.