Plug and Play Consoles - JonTron

[Music] jontron [Music] Black Friday approaches and that means one thing grandma's out getting trampled just to get you the same old gift crappy video games oh you got me monopoly this year for the Nintendo 64 well this would have been great back in 1864 you know when it was impressive just to not die from being 35 we all got games like this you know the ones bottom of the bin that literally bottom of the bit at the grocery store but in this category one genre reigned supreme the plug and play games you know one of these why buy your loved ones a $50 spongebob game for their way in which you have to you know put the disc in and figure out which chords plug in from the box machine into the TV and then you gotta make me like switch it on it who knows what else from there went for $20 you can get them the magical device that plugs right into their TV already has the game inside of it and there's also a toy of SpongeBob's face that's like one it's like 18 toys in one now plug and play games have been around for decades but they're true rise to popularity began in the early 2000s led by a company called Jack's Pacific remember this was before downloadable content in Virtual Console re-releases were widespread the most you'd see were those gv8 ports of nes game so at the time it made sense of course people were gonna be like you telling me there were 10 classic Namco video games in this one small box that looks like a tiny version of the bigger box that used to be in well sign me in the rest of America we got a couple of years for the housing crisis let's have some fun so basically what started as an innocent way to port some classic video games in a novel way spiraled into a massive business I mean these things were everywhere look at the ones I have these two are both classic Namco Games pretty cool pretty cool standard stuff there's a lot of these in the Marvel Super Heroes series this one's on spider-man I guess hey Spidey you think you could you know back off a bit you know the saying a watched man never plays a lot of these are just a penis this one is this one is spider-man's penis bombs away this one is a Fantastic Four is creepy Gollum penis okay this is good is this bad I'm sorry man I kind of have to do this oh my goodness that's a bit barbaric isn't it poor bastard weird gross oh this is that that's the Shrek one this one is my personal favorite spider-man points at your dick while you play you can't make that up that's really how they design this what the hell were they thinking deal a No Deal No Deal Scooby's really going to town on the back of the Mystery Machine here and Friends like Scoob no it's a kids show don't I mean to be honest most of the games aren't horrible the scooby-doo ones pretty appealing the graphics are nice even the Marvel ones aren't bad they're basically side-scrolling beat'em ups although I assume anyone would get tired of these before long but don't get me wrong there are the bad ones like the one where you plunder a sewer for the lizard forever and ever oh there he is wonderful Shrek golf I asked for this but of course as to be expected any good bad comes with its fair share of bootlegs I mean why don't you just go ask our good friend Robert cop over here oh and of course don't forget everyone's favorite crime-fighting alliance sense of right everyone's here Batman Superman Shrek a car Oh what I'm saying is it didn't take long for counterfeiters to hop on the plug-and-play gravy train ladies and gentlemen I present to you a but are you sitting King Philip perfect for children with no necks finally a game system for me digital stereo sound high-tech controller dazzling 3d graphics and spectacular color and a top it off 88 games in one what can I say I'm sold wait hon 8-bit game I thought you said it was dazzling 3d graphics Philip make up your goddamn mind this thing has the audacity to promote as a selling point that it comes with AV cables yeah I don't even get me started on the previous version [Music] I can make this work not right enough about the box let's talk about what's actually on this thing okay spider-man I know that this ought to be good oh it actually is kind of good but it's just a part of the NES title in fact this whole thing is just NES ports with mistranslated titles six three four ten yeah never heard of that one is a real winner small Mario hey they were right that's the smallest Mario I've ever seen he's so small you can't [ __ ] see him yeah but these are just ports I'm looking for something I never seen before what am I gonna get to the good stuff maybe I'll find something in the powered record which according to the game box is the greatest game machine in the planet well what are we waiting for get it out of there start digging this one claims to have 76,000 games on it damn if that's true I'll be playing this for my entire life oh my god there really are 76,000 I guess so order some takeout Toy Story yeah one of what this one's like circus charlie huh yeah no and I don't remember that from the movie again this is just a bunch of mislabeled titles from the NES I mean there's not a single original game in here what kind of human being does this I mean why'd they stop at 76,000 why didn't they just say a million games a billion infinity sky's the limit when you don't give a [ __ ] well I mean why don't we just try Super Mario I mean at least I know what I'm getting into I have several questions mad me I'm not mad I mean who's mad how could I be mad when I bought a video game console that has circus Charlie under 5,000 [ __ ] different names I'm fine crack this okay this is it I think this may be my final chance to find a game machine that no one has ever seen before luckily for us I think I saved the best for last the pro games player you a games player you want to be a pro then you're gonna need this sucker it's got 51 games in one and they all look original so I'm pretty excited to see what this has got to offer let's load it up and see something life-changing what no no no no no it no it can't just be any s games again the back of the box said it had original games what well there they are why wait wait wait you're telling me I have to take out the cartridge to play the games I think I'm supposed to be upset right now but more or less I think I've just on fully numb well we got to start this off the right way so of course I'm gonna pick hitting mices you know this one really stood out to me and I think they wanted it too mainly because they printed it twice on the back of the box Oh complete with nightmare hit hitting mices mices what mice wasn't good enough for you you want to hit more you want to pluralize the plural so you can hit more you're a monster in this game you play as a cave gorilla throwing what seemed to be what is that bean bags at mice who are climbing up your wall now you got it hit those mice is but you want to cushion the blow you don't want them to die from one hit you want to stop the mice before they curl up in these burrows also it's got this powerup that makes you move faster and it's impossible to play without but that's basically it gameplay wise there's nothing else to this game alright next exists yeah I've been trying a good game poses a philosophical question a masterpiece does it right in the title look at that copyright year 2005 one eight seven eight four man it's gonna be a while till Fair Use kicks in on this one no morning ah it's a fish game yeah definitely got that from the title this is basically just feeding frenzy except it's got this eight second loop of music that's driving me crazy now I'm not exaggerating here I timed it it's eight seconds long come to think of it this music is probably enjoyable for one kind of guy a fish with a six second memory span you know I got a philosophical question myself why am I still playing this alright what's next let's boot up cute fish Oh God cute fish where is he you mean this guy I don't think you mean this guy all right well at least we're past that horrible title screen I see yes I certainly do understand what is happening here oh oh okay okay yeah cute fish I get it oh yeah it's come to my attention that a lot of these games are aquatic themed this one's called cor adore what a beautiful name she has too bad she's gonna lose her pretty face soon cuz she's going headlong at the goddamn speed light no a bunch of [ __ ] help and she's off and by that I mean she disintegrated she's dead and this is M Day with an underscore in the title because that makes sense also we have danger zone oh let me tell you about it what was so appealing about the underwater genre that they had to make this many of them is it cuz it was easier to program or was it just because 90% of the backgrounds was just blue next game water fire okay yeah seen a lot of the water not so sure about the fire I've been sitting here for like 10 minutes and I genuinely can't figure out how this one works I think you're supposed to shoot only one certain color of barrel green or red but it doesn't matter which one you shoot the guy on the right always wins why for what reason we cannot live in a world of chaos also in regular fashion the sound will cut out at will [Music] and then come back then cut back out and just like that it's gone like a like an Angels kiss next up Xmas gift oh I just know it's gonna feel like Christmas in here in a minute but like Santa's on a watch looks like he's got a couple of them bootleg eyes up there I wonder what he's seeing I wonder if he can see hang on a sec is this game called Xmas gift or gift Xmas or maybe the title is an equation gift times mass equals the theory of happiness now scratch that some dumb idiot probably just don't get English one Christmas night evil cloud Center had a plight his temper was not mild he threw gifts at every man woman and child hold on actually at just one child yeah I'm talking [ __ ] like hamsters bananas letting screws that cause brain damage apparently I'm not sure what's happening here but it can't be good oh my god Merry Christmas you know at first I was being harsh but I've come to realize this game is actually very well researched it recreates the ancient German Christmastime tradition Viva audiences love it's a frying pan and I took that seat the classes even gifts from the sky it is a great dish okay let's get out of here for Santa notices I don't want to get on this guy's bad list okay moving on it did dad city snakes you talking about a dead city of this city that's just a snake from the jungle book that's calm they used the same exact snake except this time it looks like he peed on the rug and got in trouble for it bad snake bear you can't rewrite it I really need to know what's in this game it's [ __ ] it's [ __ ] snake city's [ __ ] [ __ ] yes you know what I am NOT leaving until somebody tells me where audacity fits in all this I'll just move on to the next game I need to get through this before I get a goddamn coronary I'm gonna I'm gonna pop monster is jumped to the next platform the game baby you don't need to jump you have your choice of not one but three spiral staircases back there you don't gotta risk it it's just this over and over and the music is just this over then over this one's called trooper and oh I think the only trooper I see here was the title screen itself hang in buddy was sending backup in this game everyone is falling to earth and it's your job to the murderer mall press why to blink around like a wizard am I breaking it is this breaking it please God let's just be breaking it this type of game seems to be coming up frequently as well these space invaders clones it's not really a shmup because you're not going anywhere things are just kind of falling at you we got robot literally the same as trooper Archer you play as a man who throws arrows with his bare hands I believe we may be missing one of the two major ingredients in archery here perhaps this is how archery got started up there with exists getting a bit of philosophy in here a Thor fighter just another version of trooper except this time you shoot pineapples and the final man that's epic he's the last one except he isn't because there's at least two or three other men over here you're a liar well I'm getting [ __ ] tired of this Owen please don't let me forget the star attraction here shooting ballons or excuse me I'm sorry I got this wrong actually this is Hootin bow lose another Santa Clause game hey this is the same game as Xmas gift except this time Santa's not evil and the graphics are kind of better I guess hold on a second is Xmas gift a bootleg of Santa Claus a bootleg of a bootleg inside a bootleg system what kind of Christopher Nolan Inception level [ __ ] is this a long deep early oh [Music] okay next we got brave boy at least the title screen looks decent on this one and hey I'm a fan of adventure I'm a brave boy [Music] not a brave enough point for this what even is this when a monster catches you in this game you give it a bath not that you would even be expected to know that you're doing that because the panel only shows up for a split second when you get hit and then it's not even you in the picture it's some blue head kid in his underwear in a cape well to elaborate by this game's logic you have to avoid giving things baths long enough to collect balls long enough to unlock this sword in the center that's encased and crystal this little blue guy here can't catch you when you're in the houses or tubes or whatever this is but the big blue guy can catch you from literally anywhere even if the top of his head scrapes you when he's outside of the building and you're inside of the building he gets you I'm on a [ __ ] careful wow that boy was so brave he sent someone else to get the sword for him magical kitchen surprise it's hell on earth it's bouncing suicidal fruit a spatula next okay this this one this one is just called box's world look at his bear look at this smug son of a [ __ ] he knows he knows he knows what he's doing he's like yeah it's a game called boxers well but you expect Mary [ __ ] Poppins you've seen the rest of these and to top it off it's just a clone of another game on the Sega Genesis called shove it where you slide boxes around yay yeah I think I remember seeing this one on my ti-83 calculator the vast majority of the games on this system are puzzle games and most of them are terrible there were memory games stacking games two of the games on here I would classify as lawn care games yeah they would be radish field and long perch aka cutting the goddamned grass why would I want to play a game where all I'm doing his chores isn't that what games are supposed to help us avoid doing especially when there were other such enticing titles on this console like stub gamers I like to call it stacking [ __ ] cans all right come on what's next I'm here for the ride at this point I'm here till the fat lady sings all right we got germ killer yeah well at least it means well [Music] I'm just so sad I can't explain it [Laughter] next game it's called way out this game better just be a loaded gun or a noose you promised me this I really I have no idea what's going on here do you she goes right when it points left she goes left for the points right there's no logic there is no way out is there that's what you're trying to tell me isn't it I'm stuck here forever playing you're barely functional games okay one of the only playable games in here is called extreme robot surprise though it's just contra I'm getting uh I'm getting a little worn out at this point I think I gotta take a rest how about we book a room at the old hotel and have a nice man in and a nap the bosses are really weird too they just I don't even know what they are what is that a Roomba cardiac valve oh this is the best a finest flute length forests are best in the city Sagat oh boy I can't wait to see what's up next we got boxing wersal I'm drawing the line at boxing wersal where they got Mike Tyson next to Dwayne the rock Johnson are they different games are they just one big game so they just you know combine the sports then you can't make me help help me I'm being held against my will my addresses one two three now this is the worst game I've ever played neck's oh yeah okay I mean that one looks pretty cool I mean it's ancient Chinese warfare how could we go wrong just please give me this one just this one it's it's awful this whole thing is just filled with ripoffs police skill it's Hogan's Alley guard farm it's duck hunt Desert gunman is wild gunman diamonds Arkanoid close quarters Top Gun horrible area you got that right Table Tennis [ __ ] pong all right one last game let's give it a shot star the final frontier the very last game on the system could this be the one to save them all you [Music] you did it John boo like Michael Jackson made it you're one with the cash man now this can't be you played them all John now you can become a bootleg master yourself no no no don't need your magic on me [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thanks for watching jontron if you like audiobooks and good services consider signing up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com using my link audible.com slash jontron you'll get a free audiobook just for signing up and if you don't like the service cancel anytime for this month I recommend to you fifty shades of gray oh crap that's not the right book if you want to see more jontron click these annotations [Music]

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 34,553,721

Rating: 4.9365511 out of 5

Keywords: Plug And Play, Jakks Pacific (Business Operation), spiderman stick, spiderman, jontron, jontronshow, review, consoles, Video Game Console (Invention), pro games player, game fillip

Id: jHepjitYJmM

Length: 20min 50sec (1250 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 29 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/plazmamuffin]

Oh crap. Thas not the right book.

[u/ColonelSanders21]

If anyone wants to see more ripoff consoles from the dollar store, be sure to check out Ashens.

[u/SuperPokeunicorn]

Aw man, I was hoping that we would actually get to see JonTron: The Experience at the end there. Great video though!

Also, I had that Spider Man game where you try to hunt down Lizard in the sewer as a kid. It sucks just as much as it looks.

[u/TheEpicestDerp]

This episode went from great to amazing just by the last few minutes.

Also, I have the Mrs. Pacman and the the second spider-man one in the video!

[u/TheDobber]

Lawn Purge?

O͎͍͠h̵҉͏͍̥ ̵̡̢͖̪n̢̛̥̻̫͓̻͔̺ͅo͏͙̫̯̞̦͕̞̭

[u/Zadder]

I have the Spongebob one. It's actually pretty entertaining.

[u/Yulex2]

I'm a brave boy!

[u/buttsmcgallahad]

That's not a cape, the poor boy's chained to the bathroom wall forced to give relaxing baths for all eternity.

[u/ProjectA1xx]

Anyone else get super excited seeing the notification on your phone?