Kid Nation - JonTron

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together your guilt mates are your allies who can send you resources and help you with your building projects you can also team up together to take down your enemies and defend each other from outside threats or if you just want to let off some steam you can capture sequester execute or even charge ransoms for other players the game has a mix of strategy RPG MMO and city building and if you're a solo player they have an RPG style campaign where you'll create your strongest team of five heroes to lead your kingdom to glory or failure sorry I can't guarantee your victory if you aren't in my guilt my bad so what are you waiting for go ahead and download Lords mobile from the link in my description to automatically be entered in the twenty thousand dollar giveaway okay let's go I've got a question for you if you in the year 2007 your name with Jonathan Carson CBS the prime time family-friendly television network just gave you a shitload of money to make a reality television show would you a put a bunch of literal children in the middle of the desert and the Lord of the Flies style situation without adult supervision and forced them to survive or be congratulations you chose eggs you're correct you insane basically this was a real show somehow I don't know how they got away with it it was a real reality television show in 2007 where they took a bunch of young kids of varying ages and put them in the middle of a desert to create a society all on their own and they filmed it for real I'm not making this up they really did this and I have no idea how I've never heard of it I had to experience this and now so do you so prepare yourselves for the impending PR disaster that was kid nation this is Bonanza City New Mexico or what's left of it anyway the pioneers who ran this place back in the 1800's ran it into the ground lack of leadership and lack of will combined to leave this town completely and totally dead lack of leadership lack of courage lack of law hydration they moved to Los Angeles they're fine now I'm gonna put kids here how did they get what was there a lawsuit attached to this I need to look this up in the synopsis from the kid nation wiki here speaking before an audience of television reviewers producer Tom Foreman acknowledged the kid nation would inevitably share some elements with William Golding's novel Lord of the Flies how do you [ __ ] that listen Board of Directors I know you've got safety at the forefront of your mind inevitably though the kids will begin to kill one another to form a dominance hierarchy if you see if those are the script that's the script and this is the production it's built you can't have what the fat kid it's really hard now 40 new pioneers will try to fix their forefathers mistakes and build a town that works it won't be easy pioneer living is tough and the amazing part is these pioneers are our children I love this book an epic helicopter shot like it was like yes that's correct as I'm speaking to you now 40 children are barreling towards me at a speed that is not legal in most of the lower 48 states that's right the oldest just turned 15 the youngest is eight and a half it got that one just looking at a picture of their family that's the last you'll ever so you're gonna usually forget mommy's face soon they are every kind of kid imaginable city kids country kids rich poor and even the rarest kind of kid of all he's got a lock on it Jimmy eight the youngest clearly kids are smarter than we give him credit for she's gonna be the winner I could tell the attitude she's got an attitude good one good attitude then 40 kids with no parents no teachers anywhere and their leaders their kids too everyone's kids the cameramen kids the producers kids the medic that's three kids we thought that was two are for one kid splitting them on three it's the first-ever kid nation that's right we're seriously dropping kids off to fend for themselves in the genuine middle of nowhere [Music] [Applause] [Music] that's the buzzer that'll eat your dehydrated corpse if you don't work hard enough at the game [ __ ] up what are you wait what do you wait for you think I got time for this you know what who I am I gotta get on a plane to somewhere real hey everybody gather up gather up pack it in I'm Jonathan nice to meet you guys they don't feel the same way Jonathan they don't feel the same way by the way how dare you such name sneeze but that's not gonna stop me from saying anything to say you [ __ ] diversity can't cities so how are you guys feeling well say goodbye to that school bus how's everybody feeling all scared well good news have a look at the tail end your only possible way out of here it's gone I'd say hello to the middle of nowhere good luck sorry you didn't get like fear factor yeah it's just setting in I don't know whatever I got myself I mean my parents got me into and the parents liable here because I think the parents are liable here cuz I don't think like an 8 year old is just like mommy can you send me out into a desert with Jonathan Karsch probably the 8 year old takes most of those steps I think so it's on the parents there but Nan's a city it's just a few miles that way and you're gonna be there for the next 40 days but don't worry you've got each other you've also got four leaders and they were chosen because they represent all of you in age geography everything are you trying to accuse me I didn't get the three who red they represented the every age geography everything they're your Town Council and I think I hear them coming right now this is Mike hey I came from a helicopter k4 this guy I think I'm a good there because I have respect for other people's ideas I'm like the rest of these freaks and this is Taylor a gun Hope pageant queen in stockinette is better world I bring world peace to Africa with all the orphans especially to Iraq and I'd be the number one place that needs real peace that's beautiful Taylor and you can get right on that after you finish bringing running water to this town of 40 literal infants this is an J a genius spelling bee champ three those thing I'll have done a good job George Washington Benjamin Franklin Mahatma Gandhi okay three are the only good adults all of them wanted the British to stop ruling their country and this is Laura a respected student leader I really believe in my own true beliefs and no one's gonna make me think otherwise Wow politicians when I saw those four kids I was like oh no this is all gonna fall apart what is this the right people were they just getting right back on the helicopter I mean I'm looking at them coming down and I'm thinking frankly my biggest problem here was just that they're unelected and also that their children behind me are wagons filled with 40 days worth of frontier supplies you guys are gonna grab a wagon and get started it's a long hike [Music] and that's just the beginning the next 40 days will be hard this is hard for a seven-foot-tall norman viking you're about that big if you just can't handle all of this well there's going to be a town hall meeting in a few days where any one of you can decide to give up and go home if any of you wants to be a little [ __ ] on national television in front all your peers well don't worry you could do that in five days from now it's entirely up to you okay there are no correlating factors related to your decision it is 100% up to you do the sand council two things you need to remember first after you get to town and settle in go to the chapel where you'll find an old book that'll give you a lot more information about what to do it's called the Holy Bible and god damn it you guys are gonna need it huh smart guy that got second there's something I want to show you it's a good idea to get to know the kids in your town because every few days you're gonna give one of them one of these it's a trophy for the top kid in town okay I don't care what it is keeping out of my eyes please because Bonanza City was based on mining this two-pound star is worth its weighting or $20,000 no no cuz if these kids have an understanding of what $20,000 was what's that worth like 50 60 70 Snickers bars promise me you can't tell anybody about this I'm not talking about the star I'm talking about this okay please don't tell anybody about this I can get a lot of trouble we don't want to start a riot here on the wagon train okay you don't want your top military guards be decapitated heads on pikes around the Bastille okay you don't want that no okay you don't want any of that okay you don't want that to happen hey it ain't easy pulling carts of plastic Tupperware chicken eggs and [ __ ] with it foodies got it do it okay there's nothing here it just looks like there was something but now it's gone this place is dead we need to bring it back to life I felt sort of weird because I thought that maybe there at the adult you can't script that you can't make that up that kid is the proof that kids are legitimate proof this actually happened here kid y'all there's no present bush there's nothing home bro you should be talking about Jeb now if Jeb were here this would be a fixed up town oh okay that's just scorpions I think there's like a big snake in there two scorpions in a snake guys well I first started planning for dinner I realized that a lot of us haven't done anything the screwdriver beat like can of corn if I put a hole in my friend does he stop does he like slow down water there's no water how do you do water if you don't have one how do you get water if you have water just hit the ground get the eat protein like a meats and all I just missed those like base amino acids my cells need to survive I don't know I just wish they wouldn't like at least let the couple Flintstone gummies are some today I've been the worst day in three years what exactly happened to you three years ago Jared what happened we say one peg apiece you need to take one peg appease some people didn't get pancakes I didn't get me pancakes this is to prove the kids of all age groups like you guys can actually take control get organized and then you can actually work together cooperatively because I should need to listen near winners because yes okay there's been real estate this is the second day there's gonna be mistakes okay but you guys really need to think of your job and you need to take control of it and after we do that we'll just become a working machine each of us will be a cog in a big machine and empty machine but it's gonna have to be that way or else we'll all starve Michael my go Michael he did it our King is a great there's the book of Pioneer dear there's Bonanza City 1885 if you're reading this then you've managed have been antecedent we couldn't make this town work but maybe you can build a better bonanza and a better war Oh on the second page there's a picture of a bunch of skeletons weird if you want your town to work better than ours best divide your groups into four equal districts blue red green and yellow you gotta split that sucker up into blue green yellow and the other color that's how you do it okay you split you split it into colors that's how you make a town but I wouldn't take advice from us cuz we ran a town to the ground yesterday Jonathan told us about this really old book I read it like a passage from it out loud I think it was an incantation I know I should know but the town might be cursed now but Jimmy you're green Alex gonna be blue so in order to make it work we have to split you guys up into four different districts I mean I know it's counterintuitive but the town it's gotta be district eyes because that's straight from the guys who killed the town made the town guy it's gonna die otherwise I think I did a good job at picking the teams people seem to like each other they get along [Music] okay everyone don't panic we've lost Jimmy the youngest is missing was this not awkward to film you track down this eight-year-old somewhere randomly in the camp it's just you and him and you're just silently filming him cry what are you buddy monsters that's great now nice Jimmy just give me more of that just keep thinking about how you have really no escape somebody has graffiti with the Chuck Oh gonna find out who did this Foley they would have left some sort of coup the bells ring you read yeah I see JAMA if they're arranging it I was like what is that for you know cuz he's Jake arses ringing that Bell quite liberally and it's not stopped generally good plans he's got for us so you know I'm just I'm really wondering what that's what that's for who thinks this has been totally chaotic show of hands who thinks any of this has been reasonable at all who thinks this is totally out of line Jimmy you're a little quiet over here how's this on you you're you're only eight years old are you missing your parents must be hard seeing as I drop you off in this barren landscape you miss your mommy and daddy or just speak up we're so quiet for small infant in the back you look alike easy praise far as I see it maybe it's time to get a little bit more organized how does that sound yeah yes please yes that's what I want that is what I want that's what I want this board lays out all the jobs that need to be done to make this town Ron okay that's not that's not really what I was thinking I was thinking when you said organized I was thinking like a supply chain of food and dairy that comes like once a week maybe cooking cleaning even running stores whoa retail yeah you guys are gonna be managing stores in Bonanza city filled with cool stuff you'll even run a soda saloon where root beer costs a nickel does that sound root beer yeah I still can we get water first though plus you can see on the board starting right now you get paid for doing your jobs we're gonna figure out who does what fairly in true Wild West fashion we're gonna have a showdown that's right you kids are gonna fight to the death for your fixed spot in the hierarchy of this child backed futile economy oh hi Jimmy you better work the hardest at anyone here you got the most of your life to live out in this system you're only eight years old see that's you all the way down there you better hope you can scrounge up enough corn to pay the cooking class their wage okay that's me up there's the king Jake harsh it works out pretty good in the end there it's an elegant little system so yeah he makes the teams compete for their place in the social structure here literally which is amazing considering the kids who get in the laborer class clearly have shown themselves here to be the least able to do labor so that's a cool trick you guys all pulled together and you want a reward for the entire town the reward is gonna be a choice chrissakes you're gonna make them pick all right what do we got from 1/8 you've only given one outhouses whole time are you serious I think seriously I mean I know it's reality TV but we've established this one's a little different are you telling me they've actually had all the kids be using what else oh my god just sometimes you meet a guy you so which reward will you choose seven more outhouses or this TV sanitary conditions Bugs Bunny no gangrene young Sheldon Counsell you guys run this town it's really up to you so take a walk talk and figure this out if we have a TV when are they gonna have time to actually watch the TV we need more outhouses but also you look at the back no TV like people do I've heard like they're planning a coup coming for us at least when Sponge Bob Squidward on the screen okay dance around it's gonna distract them we don't have to get drawn and quartered hung publicly in the square we made a quick decision that we don't want any more diseases from the toilet yeah we want the toilets why Jimmy why would you want to go home right now is my family that's it it's saying you yeah you do need this thing you keep your pointy finger away from my little Jimmy don't poke my Jimmy like that you understand you poke them again don't poke my Jimmy like that let's go pioneers and welcome to the very first Bonanza city call me just you know this is the first time the kids can elect to leave so they were stuck here until this part this is it the first time they had to go through all of that before they're allowed to leave no yelling and cursing hope nobody brings out a bone Club they've they picked from a wildebeest out in the in the desert starts me brandishing it beating me beating down the other kids hope that doesn't happen I know this has been an emotional few days and a lot of you miss your folks I'm gonna ask this question in every town meeting does anybody want to go home anybody here wanna look like a little [ __ ] Taylor you were pretty homesick how you feeling now yeah Taylor remember that thing you told me in confidence that I'm now revealing in front of all your peer group how about now how's it going now you still feel like a big loser baby we whether they let's go home does anyone else here want to go home [Music] [Music] that's that was the energy I got from that Jimmy why do you want to go home I know what young for this he's like the only person with a rational sense of anything Here I am way too young for this Jonathan do you want to leave this entire experience and go back home you want to look at these four hellish walls and tell me you want to walk back home and you need a peanut butter jelly sandwich made by your mom that's really what you want to do Jimmy I'm done I'm good bye bye I'm Jimmy bye I'm Jimmy by will call your parents will take you home and this is the end of your life only a strong survive no one leaves kid nation unless they make it through Keynesian bye Jimmy [Music] can't you lie to Jimmy Jimmy I guess he was just way too homesick and just needed to go home now one last piece of business before we close and I think you guys are gonna like this take a look at this you guys [Music] what the hell okay now he brings it up at the second the literal second Jimmy leaves he's like all right now that that losers gone who wants to win $20,000 Jimmy was robbed I'm just gonna say it Jimmy was robbed here the person we felt who worked the hardest this entire time that they've been here so Sophia wins it and then they allow her to go to the one phone in the facility that they've been watching off from everyone she's able to contact her mother for help I got the moms just on the other end probably like that's it that's great sweetie but what I mean I thought the desert rattlesnakes what do you mean feudalism honey where are you honey where are you can you see an intersection what's the nearest street sign [Applause] in short this has been probably illegal definitely unethical I give it five stars worth $20,000 each next time on jontron find out the thrilling conclusion to the kid nation sagres john dives headfirst into an interview with jimmy eight from new hampshire though he's not eight anymore at least I think kid nation had quite a long time ago now so I doubt he's still eight but you'll have to tune in next time to find out did you have any concept at that age of like oh it's reality TV but it's probably not gonna be like totally real [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 10,523,885

Rating: 4.9642286 out of 5

Keywords: jontron, kid nation, reality tv, cbs, jimmy, lord of the flies, funny, jontronshow, comedy, tv show

Id: YuRYaTVSuhs

Length: 25min 23sec (1523 seconds)

Published: Tue May 12 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/ShyGuyFallsOver]

This was hilarious oh my god

[u/Spyroexe]

“A bunch of thirty-year old adults couldn’t survive out here, so why don’t we see if these kids can?”

[u/Eternal_Pirate]

The worst day in 3 years. What happened 3 years ago????

[u/Wolf6120]

First of all, how the Hell are they just giving stars made of $20,000 solid gold to children for their participation in this? Is that ethical?

Second off, how the fuck did Michael not win the first star?! He downright rallied the population and prevented a straight up civil war at the start there, total bullshit that he got passed over. Dafuq did Sophia do that was better than that?

[u/mjmannella]

The realization that 44 kids were using the same outhouse just channeled a bit of an ech in disgust.

[u/Rejfenpejfler]

The show infamous for teetering on the edge of being unethical

[u/Drumhead89]

Jimmy: "I'm too young for this."

Producers: *shocked Pikachu face*

[u/True_Prime]

I can't believe they got Jimmy. Can't wait for the next episode!

[u/OCDsnake]

Michael actually had an AMA a few years ago here.