r/TIHI | crack the apple

the new sigmak [Music] what's up sexy i'm lexie and welcome back to mk it's been a really long day so i'm looking forward today's subreddit which is uh oh oh it's thanks i hate it thanks i hate it let's get started it's an apple hey apple why are you in when a lady has two babies inside of her it is called being pregnant with twins the reason most people have got two legs is in case they get pregnant with twins so that they can safely grow them inside of their legs with plenty of room the twins will feed on the leg bone of their mother to get all of the bone goodness that is needed to help them grow by the time the twins are fully grown they will have stretched all the way down to the mother's ankles what a beautiful world we live in ah well not sleeping tonight what a bear without fur looks like now i understand mole rats in fallout if my life was filmed in front of a live studio audience audience booing audience booing audience booing booing intensifies fantastic beasts and where to find them bugs escaping from a flood no no no make the flood higher make the flood higher medical stuff already oh my god every single part of this i hate ah why did you why why what why this was completely unnecessary when you smoke ten thousand cigarettes and you get the special camera oh well done not sure you'll be alive to see it but hey it's an accomplishment my friend got his dreads cut off his mom turned them into a cat bed okay um that's a that's a new level of no thank you no thank you and please don't use human remains as like part of oh god why am i saying sentences like this cheesecake you know what i'm fine with this one i it's terrible and horrifying and i hate it uh but considering the uh what we've started with this is fine i'm okay with it i've accepted it nestle's chest quick cheese milk 25 more cheese ew oh god that's oh that one actually made me feel sick oh god that's vile oh why does it no i don't like it no next post please my mom let's buy chicken nuggets and mac and cheese touch on the plate five-year-old me what are you doing this is wholesome enough of a thanks i hate it as as a much older person now i have much more refined tastes for instance i now chop up my chicken tenders and mix them into my mac and cheese my wife lola will be selling her crochet dolls in the precinct this saturday all proceeds to the drop-in center for god's sake buy one she's made 600 of the bloody things they're all over the house every time i open the airing cupboard it's like being attacked by chucky why why has she made so many why are there so many tiny dolls in your house i wouldn't be able to sleep can you imagine setting fire to all them and just the eyes remain i love the sound of cloud vomit on the roof no no no no no you put those colors right back where you found them my girl and i doing the thing both of our sleep paralysis demons doing the thing hey sleep paralysis demons you know have lives too they're actually i hope they're not human denture bracelet denture combs braces wraith denturing denture compact denture hair comb who who looks at a bunch of dentures and you is like you know what i'm gonna style my hair with that today the grim reaper are you here to kill me no i'm the grim viper i just watched people die honk oh frack i just realized something hold on just give me a fracking second sub through switch to dom you're not allowed to say this and you know it do you ever see something and think wow that is violently american you mean like glazed donut bacon cheeseburgers exactly why is this in things i hate it that looks delicious i want to review it somebody tell me where i can find these they look amazing in 8th grade we thought it would be funny to scare our algebra teacher so when she was writing on the board we all put on dora masks and when she turned around she screamed uh i would too that's that's terrifying y'all are the spawn of satan that's not lace that's not lace and you can't unsee it now if you like dry shampoo you'll love dry showering that's cheetos dust on armpits got a little too much fedora energy in that one for me fun fact about me is that when i was a kid i'd write capital e's with as many of those little horizontal lines as possible and i'd call them letter e's and adults fracking hated them hey low an artistic rendition that thing eats krill this entire thing is just wholesome and kind of horrifying meg's egg people are always like teleporters just vaporize you and create a clone of you at the destination as if that's some big horrifying problem and yet that's how an elevator works and everyone's just fine with that no you know what i'm not i found this amazing iris inside an ajate a gate from maine's germany and cut it into the shape of an eyeball don't worry it's just clamped between my fingers why would you do this this looks like an alien with cataracts peeking out of a butt god i hate it aspen trees known for developing markings that resemble eyes the ants are watching cranston have you seen my adventures uh and now grandma how many faces is this and and why does it exist what oh god oh the eyes just oh what is it doubled why is it triple that i mean when you get a craving for s'mores you get a craving for s'mores just now realizing that jalen brown flipped his head upside down oh my god you're right but that means he rotated his face back around too which is somehow worse i need to go pee girlfriend and you better not freaking mute the call boyfriend why do men want to hear us pee like what is your fascination sound like y'all fried chicken is this an ender furby is this is this really an ender furby i just recorded my first minecraft video and minecraft is horrifying enough with just like the base stuff as i'm learning um this is nightmare fuel and i hate it and whoever made it should be ashamed of themselves i don't care that it's black and big it's still terrible trojan fusion made with real gorilla glue internet internet this is not just in time for valentine's day it's actually a little bit late and it's embarrassing ran out of eye drops good thing i found more oh my god in your eyes heinz for men body gravy cold turkey three-in-one gravy body wash and moisturizer there's jokes i i can't make here um but yeah i wouldn't be surprised if this was something that actually existed in the world at some point gratalica i'm actually okay with this one this is fine compared to everything else we've seen today this is perfectly fine valentine's be like i think i took the gum from your mouth uh no gum but i have a cold barefoot is still illegal in most stores so here's a life hack uh just i just wear shoes why are you not wearing shoes oh gross i'm horny oh i get it anyway no maybe you didn't hear me bologna is just hot dog pancakes when you're a pickle and you find a human on your burger when you specifically ask for no humans throw it out throw the whole human out fish skin can be grafted onto burns it recruits the body's own cells and is covered into living tissue over time so wait all i'm gathering from this is that mermaids could actually be real is that is is that what we're saying here oh thanks i didn't need to see you uh wearing a koala as a hat through its butt but i guess that's what i saw today i'll bother theron's macaroni and cheese loaf loaf as in like a meat oh gross oh that's vile every morning at 11 or so winter man shows up and scares the crap out of me my neighbor's chimney ah that's actually funny i'd freak out several times a day over that too okay this is this is terrible and gross and and glob love glamba but are we is anybody here pretending that we don't want a button in our house that dispenses krispy kreme like come on puff we both reach for the beef rose and there's only one left you let me have it call that a meat cute wait is that actually a beef roast i want it i actually want that i really like steak and beef and stuff that looks delicious milk cube two percent solve the cube to unlock the sweet milky innards why does it look so thick why does it look so thick what if nipples clicked in and out like pens wait y'alls don't do that dad's nuts pop him in your mouth and savor the flavor i feel dead inside you need to open up much better what happened to this orange what happened to this orange nothing like ranch oreos rorios i'm writing about baby pelicans so i looked for photos to help me describe them and it turns out testicle swan that is an uncomfortably accurate description and i don't like it oh that's cute oh i don't like that marriage is just pre-ordering a milf shakespeare quote of the day an ssl error has occurred and a secure connection to the server cannot be made a true wordsmith i also think i got this from pm seymour marchand become noodle is this is this a real tattoo because that's some amazing art and i am all for an alternate reality where einstein is rick so senpai please don't touch my buttons too hard sonic go go fast you know i i can't tell what this is and um i'm not gonna take the time to figure it out y'all can okay you guys can because there's antennae and there's wings and you know what i'm gonna hate it so i'm just gonna preemptively hate whatever this is and be done with it thank you you're going to feel just a little discomfort oh god yeah the covet swabs really need to take me out to dinner first before they go uh that hard what this is just a really unmotivated escalator i'm sick of crying tired of trying yeah i'm smiling but inside of my urethra there is a nintendo ds stylus capri sun milk flavor this is how you get a kid to drink something like a really abstinent kid that's just being dumb he's like no it's capricoin it's just the milk flavor ben and jerry's tapeworm eclair i feel gross oh that's gross oh oh no i hope that's not permanent and i hope that's not real this i should be horrified for this but the the fact that the mk channel logo is literally just a ham we use a hand as our logo just a disembodied floating hand uh i feel like we are obligated to appreciate this i don't want to but we're here now so what's the deal with the flame on your tail it gauges my health the brighter the flame the healthier i am oh i have something like that watch squirtle used water gun see that all blood that isn't good i love charmander's face just like oh my god oh you know freaking massage oh that's much better i make horrible things here's a paintbrush you can lick people with just gonna perform some happy little licks witches allegedly stole penises and kept them as pets in the middle ages it's sad how many traditions we just let die i'm sorry pets pets pulled out the monster today for an old favorite has anyone else made me i'm sorry whipped piss cream it's so amazing and put salted caramel cream to shame i'm sorry urine therapy no trolls edition oh my god these people are real oh my god he's a moderator amazing look at that consistency i'm curious did you use fresh your inner ferment oh what the actual per the colors i'm going with fresh colors i don't even want to think about that have you tried to make it from aged urine age i just read the phrase aged urine oh my gosh gibberish crabs have mercy upon my soul if so any issues with getting a whipped texture oh my god i oh my god i can't believe i just ate i hmm i just read that with my own two eyeballs my brain ate that information and probably now has some sort of raging bacterial infection now i know what regret looks like and it's this post you know what ooh annoys me but that's better that's fine compared to what what the freaking thing i just saw that's him that's our creator talking veggies that isn't right huh i am that's better something is wrong here [Laughter] oh somebody mess up the molds that's actually really funny i i think that's hilarious and that thankfully brings us to the end of our slash thanks i hate it that was a oh that was an experience i'll give it that to help soothe some of the burns from that we have some lovely fan art to show you because today's fan art is brought to you by lynx plus and they say some fan art from an old request from lexi okay one of the people on my channel's team goes around and collects all the fan art every monday and they just posted this today in our featured channel and i saw it and i squealed out loud because it's doom and animal crossing the crossover thing and it makes me so happy sorry this is so well done like you absolutely nailed this lynx plus that was exactly what i needed after seeing that stack of thanks i hated and if you enjoyed this video i don't know what to tell you man you are lost but hit the like button on your way out if you want more of this nightmare fuel hit that red subscribe button and maybe evaluate your life priorities as always my name is deluxe kitty but you all can call me lexi have an absolutely victorious day tomorrow stay safe stay awesome make more stuff and i will see you guys in the next video [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 425,310

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, TIHI

Id: HqggRzgzSsE

Length: 14min 48sec (888 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021