THE BEST OF r/MADLADS

[Music] this entire time she thought i was painting a sunset oh boy she could have a rude awakening when she gets up huh kylie can i see the sunset sure grab a mirror that doesn't look like the sun no it is my son people that upvote but don't comment why i guess you'll never know i love that 14 000 people had the same thought that's great been in a wedding all day and all my sister's boyfriend has done his photoshop pictures of my head looking massive and sent me them that's fantastic andy make that your new profile picture dude giant head andy why do we never talk about the fact that for the past 15 years of a small town in alaska the mayor has been a cat mere mass stubbs he doesn't raise our taxes we have no sales tax he doesn't interfere with business said lori steck he's honest and he only drinks water from a wine glass you know tom decided that a cow would be a better man than people he's good probably the best we've had i love that guy can i beat halo before mcdonald's kicks me out oh that's that's called a speed run buddy speed running fast food i started drinking some some drink as you did playing fortnight for the first time i spent most of my time closing doors that were left open were you raised in a barn no but why it's a battle royale old man get with the times boomer jessica please tell me it's you nope sorry fine i'm going to disconnect now oh come back i could be your jessica what's your name muhammad nasi it's okay i'll go find jessica one time my teacher gave me an f on a paper and wrote see me after school on it and i was stressing all day about it but when i went later to ask her what was wrong with it she changed the f to an a and said you're pissing me off this week i want you to suffer for a few hours and i didn't trust her for the rest of the year they have the power to do that too man always be on your toes oh no i don't know what this name i'm gonna i'm gonna read this name is fatima hello ahmed yeah it's fatima i just got my license we're no longer together why are you telling me this well just look left and right before you cross any road may allah protect you fatima you dirty oh you dirty rat you scheming little rodent you're gonna run this guy over [Laughter] measles well i got accepted into a bunch of anti-vaxxis groups and then changed my name to measles nice i noticed there was a blank wall at the mcdonald's so i decided to make this fake poster of me and my friend it's now been 51 days since i hung it up they'll never know bro they'll never know florida man breaks into home to cook breakfast tell his resident and go back to sleep sound sounds about florida there should just be a whole segment in every reddit video just called the tributes of florida the trials and tribulations of florida man and like the benny hill theme starts playing and it's just headline after headline of different stupid things florida man has done because i'll be honest with you living in florida is like having a looney tuned show in your own backyard every single day of your life tenders for rookies go to facebook marketplaces search for wedding dresses it'll show you recently divorced females in your area and from there you can fill them by size listen the drinks on me have cracked the coke a man from illinois was arrested for getting 224 thousand dollars worth of manure dumped on his former employer's property damn only two weeks after he won 125 million at the lottery and quit his job 54 year old brian morris from the small town of clarendon hills in dupont county bought over 20 000 20 000 tons of manure and asked for it to be dumped on his former boss's property pretending it was his residence and that's the face of a man of pure like look at the pure joy in his face he is so pleased with himself i love that oh the americans are asleep up vote centimeter ah joke's on you i have a disastrous sleep schedule i won the war and i'll downvote this post if i dare well please [Laughter] asmr whippin nae nae while my parents argue in the background i'm sorry buddy hey look it's uh the summer girls outing but who's that in the background but the cheekiest mad lad posing with them love that for black friday my friend dressed up as a target employee and bossed people around [Laughter] oh i used to work at target that's beautiful that's funny is that samoa joe i love i love samoa joe is it weird i'm less upset about trolling but more upset at how garbage most people are at it where's the nuance the art for context seven years ago a man texted my phone by accident thinking i was as estranged uncle brian i had been giving this dude bad life advice ever since oh samoa oh joe deer population is controlled by releasing wolves into an area all problems should be solved that way too much pollution release wolves and factories just like congress wolves want to lose weight that's right wolves means really the only way to do it man fired civil war cannon at his neighbors during dispute he looks like the kind of guy to do that too you know that he looks like the kind of guy to just have like 35 000 worth of civil war memorabilia just at his disposal [Laughter] you guys can't actually go through the drive-through we're in a car aren't we old man let us get our we already placed an order that's funny hey look it's a couple of iphones oh these are the iphone x's yeah dude i'm still rocking an iphone 6s plus i'm about to buy an 11 and i'll make all these my screensaver they just rotate every day [Laughter] oh yeah what do you mean oh yeah oh like that's how you said that man [Laughter] i don't like that that's your response to the phone to the phones oh yeah before you kiss a girl grab her waist pull her closer to your body look into her eyes and look at her lips while biting yours look back at her eyes again grab her face gently then slowly lean in and kiss her it'll drive her crazy i promise no no no no no instead of all that just spit in her face and run away now she's the one chasing you ah fresh sketchers in that you and i think alike my friend [Laughter] cashier arrested for memorizing over 1 300 customers credit card info for online purchase that is a wild memory let him get away with it dude that's so much information there's literally billions of them life is cheap in india plus in their culture you can respawn well as an indian i can confirm i'm looking forward to my next respawn well as a pakistani i'll gladly help you expedite your respawning process damn my dog passed away last month and my boyfriend got me flowers in the shape of my dog and i'm in love that's really cute but now you get to watch your dog die again and that's not as cute god running away from people who bite ice cream with their front teeth you know the more i look at this the more i understand how they took this photo but when i first saw it i didn't know how they took it because it i love the idea that my man in the back just went in creative mode and just just started following this poor guy around my excuse to my mom and dad to play doom is that doomguy is a christian hey anything's possible hey would you look who it is it's our boy our boy the big slazz made it on the mad lads ain't that something he traveled 15 000 miles to make an earth sandwich and yes he did that's kind of funny that i could just oh man i love that guy that's so cool that he made it into that lads it's funny my favorite history fact i've learned is in ancient china some guy wrote this poem about how the eight wins of the world couldn't move him or some other pompous stuff like that this guy was so proud of it he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake to see what he thought of it and the friend just wrote the chinese equivalent of fart on it and sent it back to him this pissed the guy off so much of the trout across the lake just to chew him out when he got there his friend was like wow so the eight wins of the world can't move you but a fart sends you across the lake [Laughter] got a letter from mr trump we'll be returning it tomorrow english teacher gets letter from white house makes corrections before sending it back nice bill gates once released a jar full of mosquitoes into the audience during a ted talk of malaria stating there's no reason only poor people should have the experience bill hold on is that real it's real he actually did this bill you mad man that is ridic bill bill you're like a mad scientist i'm the guy that spent over hundred dollars to import texas dirk to italy happy to report it made through customs and my son was born over texas land today he set foot on it for the first time does this mean that your son is technically a us citizen that's 200 iq hey what would you guys like for me to film for youtube hey forget youtube give us a call it's been a whole year since my first love died damn i miss you girl don't be telling people i'm dead man sometimes it still feels like she be commenting on my posts [Laughter] israeli man pretends avocados grenade robs two banks of over eleven thousand four hundred dollars damn leaf blower stolen at gunpoint why would you steal a leaf blower at gunpoint no less such an awkward thing to steal gustavo's 32 years old imagine this you enter in tinder and you see a relatively handsome guy let's say six out of ten you don't know whether you like him or not after reading his biography you say okay why not you start talking the conversation is fluid he listens and cares about you after a few years you marry you found love in a place where you did not expect it do you like the idea well this is not gonna happen but i can assure you that i will you know youtube censorship just makes things so much worse i hate this song hey shut up pass self i love this song i swear to god all this chat ever does is find the one person with the lowest iq and copy paste whatever that brain did more on posts any smilers how do you manage to stay cool all the time because i don't get into arguments with stupid people i just cut it short and say you're right but that's completely irrational and wrong you're right holy crap you killed him dude and this guy dressed up as his mother and tried to get his phone back cutting people's earphones then giving them airpods ah yeah cutting off their legs then buying them a wheelchair nice flirting with a man at the bar hey let me see your phone i'll put my number in unsuspecting fool sure hands me his phone me transfers his entire pokemon go team to myself fool what the hell me rips my jacket open to reveal a sensible t with the large bedazzled letter r to protect the world from devastation i'm sorry i really got into the part there i love team rocket i hope i catch a good meme there's no fish to catch because of climate change your life is in danger penguin my algebra teacher said that this was a link to the test dances he rick rolled me and now i'm gonna rick roll him we know you love your washing machine but can it do this yeah wait he tweeted for the washing machine wait a minute why would you need it to do that oh my god oh hold on i'm sorry i'm i'm back to earth i'm back to earth surgeon admits marking his initials on the livers of two two patients nice simon bramhall pleads guilty to two counts of assault after using argon gas to sign sb on patients organs oh i thought they were dead but no he just he did that to live people he's just a monster daddy who sings this haunts michael jackson i love michael jackson well the thing about michael jackson is he would have loved you too okay that's enough no no no no no the boy has to know whoever is doing memes on me god is watching you better stop you know not to brag or anything but i can cook minute rice in 59 seconds i can cook it in 58. the art below is now mine i am going to directly transfer 750 000 to diamond cup 67 here you go stop hating on different phone brands apple is innovative google is amazing nokia is indestructible samsung blackberry is historic what's a suburb that you wish existed on my own well osh slash p janik thank you it's awesome i like that not to flex but i cornered my nether portal with cornered portal portals oh that's funky fred rogers considered the number 143 to be very special he once said takes one letter to say aye four letters and say love and three others say you 143 in fact he liked the number so much that he maintained the weight of 143 pounds for the last 30 years of his life that's really god mr rogers is such a wholesome cute man i love him he's i miss that guy i love that guy police door key open offers could do with selling quickly preston police left this at my house about 30 minutes ago so i thought i'd sell it to pay for my door nice the new qce system but that mad lad in the far right what is he doing [Laughter] quick saving will you be mine no reload last checkpoint and it's like it never happened so i have a friend who wore ripped jeans to school which was against the dress code he was cold to the office and told that he was going to have to call his mom for a change of pants instead he reached down grabbed the rip of his jeans and tore them up to create jean shorts he was then permitted to return to class 200 iq plays successfully convinced a rookie and fto that casual friday was a thing on our platoon currently listening to a sergeant go off about a rookie wearing jeans to patrol and ask if he thought he was walker texas ranger i regret nothing no wieners but that guy there's got two of them this deal happened today bought an entire playstation 2 library from someone picking up tomorrow i can only dream of having a collection that big and the space for it who wants to play some overwatch rainbow six siege hmm no thanks stop climbing gear and permit required if you are not a technical climber using proper gear and a permit stay on the sidewalk this mad lad this guy is on a mission to single-handedly let everyone know that i am actually a doctor i respect the grind eating burger king and mcdonald's oh my god my brother got a text from a scammer so he spoiled endgame for them that's a power move describe me in one word lefty oh my god you didn't have to go that hard i downloaded this on the school computers naming it minecraft did you change the icon and everything to minecraft the logo i hope so at gordon ramsay do you think i have talent you're blocked from following gordon ramsay hey mods please ban me i'm on a quest to get banned on all 50 state subreddits so frick everyone here you don't deserve to live and i hate you truly a mad lad perennium sunning is latest insanity wellness influencers swear by when people hit you with put it where the sun don't shine show them this what should four friends do when they get together male sacrifice the weakest to satan what is the dumbest idea you have ever had that actually worked real estate told me i had to have the carpets professionally cleaned wasn't in the contract or i'd lose my 800 bond i did some research and found out i could become an accredited carpet cleaner as there are no official licensing boards in my state so i did what any sane person would do i paid the 85 did the online course and got my certificate registered a business name abn et cetera et cetera all free handed the property management a copy of my accreditation and an invoice for services i became a professional carpet cleaner and launched a vacate cleaning business that is still going six months later wow that is quite the story someone out there has sucked the most ding dongs ever make sure to call your mom since you're thinking about her oh my god you're a burglar but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims what are you stealing why steal when you can hide things and have people blame themselves over it i thought astigmatism was astigmatism so i thought you could have two stigmatisms and i confuse stigmatism with both stigma and stigmata what stigma stigma ding-dong in your ass i'll never understand how college and nfl football teams allow kickers that just miss kicks i feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the usa that won't miss simple kicks or snappers that won't mess the snaps i don't know man it seems so silly would love opinions on this i'll never understand how pro fortnite players just miss shots i feel like there has to be pools of pro players who could just click on their heads in every shot with 100 accuracy just seems so silly this is my only green shirt that's not on your body dear millennials one in four tweets i might post qualifies for the response okay boomer so instead i withhold the tweet and just say okay boomer to myself thereby sparing you the obligation to reply and me from cross humiliation okay millennials okay boomer boy selling ice-cold beer has cops called on him ah come on who who ruined the fun trying to prove to a girl that he's in bed oh my god that's actually really convincing though how hero bystander confronted the london bridge terrorist with a five-foot narwhal tusk he pulled off the wall of fishmongers hall where killer began his knife rampage that left two dead holy cow 24 hours plus of pure black screen in hd report this for nudity so the people who work for youtube have to watch the whole thing i watch this video and as a blind person i find it very offensive i was a disney a while back and went on splash mountain three times at night and i edited them together that is way impressive british marine who flung himself back first onto a grenade to save his comrades though the explosion threw him in the air his uh rucksack absorbed the blast and he walked away with a nosebleed and a headache holy cow look at this dude look at this dude he's he doesn't care he doesn't care there's no cameras permitted he's gonna take a damn photo he looks great he's killing it is clever i love i love wallpaper memes i love this abusing youtube copyright claims tutorial what the hell what's the story behind your reddit username wanted to see if it actually works it actually works pm me your please oh lucky him ready to get blacked oh my god war thunder no my favorite thing to do on the internet is watch man and bear costume arrested for tearing apart tents of black friday campers amazing water is not wet a discussion i'm going to fight this until the day i die water is not wet it cannot be wet for it's a liquid liquids make things wet but liquids cannot wet other liquids you cannot pour water on water and be like hey watch out that water is awfully wet it's just not possible please share your thoughts on this i make water wet my god if your car is reading this your mommy wants blackrock also penis penis penis penis funny story i went to school with a girl who became a porn star while she was dating my homie who went nuts and died in a bike accident because of it she later went on to marry the biggest [ __ ] cop in town and i've been arrested twice for telling him my favorite video of his wife god this tweet better not be posted on reddit and uh well i got bad news for you jake the mods are asleep let's post dams that are interesting you know what that is an interesting damn kyle will frick stuff up for you my name's kyle and i freak stuff up professionally so your ex getting married i'll crash that stuff your job fire before the company picnic i'll show up with some tequila and throw hands got someone you hate and just want to freak their day up i'm all over that stuff serving all situations where we customize your service to your liking email me for pricing service is guaranteed with video oh my god i'd love to see that no disney plus in the uk until april feels bad man should have won the revolutionary war bro oh my god look at this dude look at this dude all by himself hey no worries he's his own pit stop so what you're doing hot stuff i wish you but instead i gotta go to bed i wish you were doing me too there are no words on god's green earth that can describe how spectacularly erect i am really no damn it that was a roller coaster hey number neighbor hi who is this just a little thing going around on the internet where people send a text to the person with the same number except the last number is either one more or less so in this case 804 blank blank blank flank is one above mine oh cool how old are you lol i'm 23 how about you 13 so you're 23 and doing an internet challenge damn we just got roasted by a 13 year old oof oh granny granny granny granny you psycho absolute psychopath pope don's traditional coat with anime image of his face to greet the japanese amazing i love this image every time i see it attention sarcasm users we're being faced with a serious issue there is only one sarcasm left now we've got to use it wisely please for the love of god think before you speak it's gotta be good yeah okay i'll be sure to do that um you wasted it this guy raided a police station 5 out of 5 stars got arrested for not carrying my id card treated me very well cells are spacious and clean food was okay but rice for three times is a bit boring handcuff was a bit corroded but it's okay it does the job right the officers are friendly overall it was a nice experience okay come on it can't be that weird to eat ice cream during like fall or winter right it's still a sweet treat it's not that weird black friday started way back when slaves would be sold half off in the day after thanksgiving that's why they call it black friday are you for real no i just wanted people to see this and not go so i can get the 70 inch tv before they do you know what fair enough gg dad am i adopted no why the hell would i pick you oh my god dad arrest 22 swiping on tinder is a tiresome process here take a break join me at the campfire there's me to mutton share tales and struggles i shall listen stay as long as you need traveler at my wedding you'll be able to come alone bring a plus one or choose a minus one where you can uninvite one person of your choosing no questions asked power move uninvite the groom someone spilled their dunkin donuts coffee in the school lobby so this kid got out of his dunkin donuts uniform and started directing traffic around it saying things like ma'am watch out this is a dunkin donuts matter when a security guard walked up to him to ask what he was doing the kid told him to stand back and he was just doing his job thank you for your service karnataka farmer paints tiger stripes on dog to save crops from monkeys that is uh that's a good boy a little tiger boy right there i mean if it was nighttime and i saw that uh yeah i'd panic system of a down chop suey this makes you want to break in someone's house and toast all their bread and put it back in the bag cargo socks the cargo socks stay on during sex what is your biggest fricket i'm doing this moment i was a flight nurse at a company who liked firing people we were transporting a patient from a car accident who became pulseless her policy we were meant to go to the closest hospital our closest hospital was 9 minutes away however this hospital was tiny and couldn't care for our patient 13 minutes away was a trauma hospital our patient was dead and statistically speaking was going to stay that way but his only hope was the trauma hospital i told the pilot to go to the trauma hospital knowing full well this would be reviewed and i would be fired for violating policy fortunately the trauma hospital did a fabulous job and he survived i was reviewed but not fired well how about that yeah i don't think it would look too good for a company to fire a nurse after they um you know saved someone's life whose life was already pretty much gone at that point lonely man creates a dating app where he's the only guy allowed on it that that's big brain moment theater staff why would you sneak into a theater for one frame me you wouldn't get it for all the tall people here follow r slash tall teenagers i'm 5'4 and i'm gonna follow that sub no one can stop me when a free ride in a police car steal some candy hey if it's that easy sun saves family of six takes out armed home invader with headshot while sisters hide in closet hey good on him laughing at youtubers that said logan paul would win [Music] in 1977 we received a radio signal from space that lasted 72 seconds and to this day we still don't know where it came from yes we do it came from space thank you alan some girl messaged me saying that i post too much and i'm ugly i did a little research and found out she works at the spa an hour away from me so i made an appointment and asked for her specifically needless to say she's waxing my butthole on monday oh my god tesla model s model 3 model x model y cyber truck [Music] i see what they did there if i had a nickel for every time i got confused i'd be like where'd this nickel come from and then there'd be another nickel and i'd think what's with the nickels leading to more nickels and confusion and eventually i'd be slowly crushed my nickels without ever knowing why turkey ain't the only thing getting lit today i'm kidding it's like not even 9am can drink all day if you don't start in the morning they're not wrong i like going to someone else's house getting their dog really riled up and then leaving gus you you're a different kind of evil why does my dad use this nice ass thermos to keep his burritos warm because you gotta keep them warm lego space set and actual space that's pretty cool though thanksgiving dinner mom no politics tonight everyone absolutely me this casserole reminds me of the bolshevik revolution whoever has the fastest time gets 250 don't let low curbs win low curbs i got the world record on alfred's speedrun level my teacher nailed his student's phone to the wall for using it in class 20 years ago it's still there till this day teach don't play around i kind of like that that's hardcore the mountain dew that came out of this dispenser tasted horrible please remedy this uh chief that's not it's not mine though chief this is amazing we do not have wi-fi talk to each other and pretend it's 1995. yeah but i got data so i mean hey who's the real winner here this guy [Laughter] so you see actually i was thinking of leaving me i said think again not gonna leave me yet you bastard lad naruto runs past reporter area 51 during live news broadcast he was going in to storm the gates he's going there to do what he set out to do and that is to make sure that no one can stop him danny devito poses with cutout of teen who took cut out of him to prom nothing wrong with that i would have taken listen danny danny if you're watching this on the circumstances you're watching this video let me take you to prom danny okay me and you a little bit of wine a little bit of a little bit of rose huh think about it one i cut the wires of regular apple earbuds and wore them at school two the school confiscated them three when i went to get them back i took somebody else's real airpods 200 iq that is a that is a madman play i'm in australia and therefore it's already september 20th and i know the fit of the area 51 raid ask me anything well how did it turn out turned out good for funeral companies americans posting memes while europeans are asleep europeans posting memes while americans are asleep me an australian who has no idea when anyone's awake uh australia no i'm the whole country i am australia i am john a australia and you will treat me with respect for footage of a guy footage of an australian guy fishing from a drone is being investigated by authorities it's not clear whether using a homemade drone to lift yourself into the air is legal in australia it shouldn't be this is a mad lad there's the maddest lad i love this guy i'd fish with him the rolling stones good group not as good as the beatles but good that's some tough talk paul mccartney awesome tough talk bud you wanna you wanna talk about it you wanna take this outside paul babe i'm a queen bee i'll rule the queen bee is a [ __ ] and screws over mail of the hive he told the truth and you blocked him stop hiding from it god i hate it when people apologize on behalf of others grow a freaking spine on behalf of all redditors i'd like to apologize about this man get outplayed idiot someone parked their exercise bike at the bike racks how do you get it there is the question how'd my man get it there how'd you how did you tell me something i don't know the first letter of sentence is always capital also why is her elbows doing this like like it looks like someone just cur like with one arm just or a foot like just jumped on her elbows that's uchihawi cctv appeal after thieves steals light from from police cars dude just went and nabbed it he straight up just said oh this is more in there and just started walking away that isn't that some that's some goal that is some sh that is that's nuts i'm surprised he was able to walk away with the weight of his freaking balls i mean you and me both dude he's straight i've never seen such a strong man uh how come when the hulk smashes everything he's incredible but when i do i'm a [ __ ] wow well it's easy the hulk smashes bad guys and saves the world you smash guys named chaz chad and cooper and spread diseases don't feel too bad shelby can be like a super villain uh the area 51 raid here it is baby predator of prey locked up for what and clap alien cheeks a classic pro tip the quickest way to get an answer on the internet is not to correct your question but to state an incorrect answer yeah it's called moore's law it's created in the early 90s uh no no no i think it's cunningham's law pretty sure morris is about computers or something tech related uh holy crap did i just get played holy crap i can't believe that worked so well you and i both man the fact he just put the wool over your eyes like a sheep just straight snatched all your integrity us ending the presentation with a meme the teacher and classmates read it look at that that's a face of a winner i like this guy give a clap for this guy i like this guy you could take a seat anywhere with the wearable chair imagine you in the middle of the club receiving the twerk from the thickest girl and you turn into a chair like a decepticon [Laughter] dude more than meets the eye yo what's up today we're pranking women in public by respecting the distance and not bothering them 1.9 million views let's go baby 1.9 million views husbands stayed home from work because our dog was coughing we took him to the vet and paid 85 for him to tell us our dog was fake coughing the dog just wanted some god dang attention and now he got it he's happy edit thanks one like edit thanks for two likes edit thanks for three likes edit thanks for four likes he did that 264 tons and he's still got a good 20 or so to go he's not even done he's not even done kalantan kids burned down 11 houses just to see firefighters seems a little seems a little gratuitous but okay for about 15 years i've carried one of these to silence annoying tvs in different places i don't eat about three a month and i know it might drive the establishments proprietor insane trying to figure out what happened to the volume but blaring the view and waiting room should be illegal take this tip and live longer what a what a hero this isn't a mad lie this is a superhero michael's on his way home took michael a couple years to get home guys oh no if you're seeing what i'm seeing but it took michael a couple of years to get home he got lost you joined the public group hashtag flat earth spherical you've been removed from the group me irl my band is so indie we don't even record together you have to buy four separate cds and play them at the same time what kind of monster screenshots a tweet posted to reddit just to post it back on twitter wait a minute that's exactly what happened brian you've been played i brought brownies in for all my co-workers wasn't cause i was being nice because i heard they were doing random drug tests and i didn't want to be the only one dirty so unless they plan on firing a whole stair force they better leave me the hill alone damn's pop brownies bro that's it that's a super villain my grandpa your grandpa g grandpa c cashier military yes i have fought in the civil war gives discount do you know when the civil war was now 1860 well the discounts in the machine already and he got a free military discount pog champ gramps this grams is a player he knows all the all the secrets might be ugly but i have good ideas i wore a green screen shirt to picture day this is my id card everyone's using iphones androids and even refrigerators to use twitter but check out what i'm using this man's user gucci smart sucks he's ascended ah larial archie just cause you did it doesn't mean you're guilty i like your style arch what is the weirdest thing a complete stranger has done to you i got told to show me your while on a crosswalk the car had several guys in it i did and they cheered my six foot four 240 pound very hairy man it was an interesting experience i mean i'd do the same thing so i made new hall passes for my students i love that that's a cool teach i i'm a head out erling what's up man it's a toasie i love this guy oh man i miss you dude i wanna i cannot wait to see my my boy atosi again why would you want to miss that a bunch of random people in weird costumes standing outside of a government base that's a one in a lifetime experience it's like halloween but we're just annoying people he's absolutely right he's absolutely right you know my heart gets heavy thinking about the giant trash island in the ocean yeah england is a joke mcdonald's replied to your review waited 45 minutes not a single employee came and washed my hands what the heck is the employee's must-watch hand sign there for interesting reddit is best social media because no one will see my hentai profile picture oh think again we'll see it we'll see it all right now you know why i'm pulling you over because of the hawk because of the honk me comp because of the hulk because of the hunk if you think cops have micro penis's bumper sticker i'm in australia mate thanks odd one's out wait his name's upside down too oh my whole neck just cracked you hear that two up two down left right left right b a plus start thanks burger king for that gaming tweet now that i know your your social media team is a bunch of gamers i'm gonna eat at your establishment and get food poisoning hell yeah i love you please say it back get back you asked when my girlfriend makes me angry i look at her through a fork of pretend she's in jail it heals me spiritually that's a listen i'm gonna do that to my you know it's gonna be in the future 2050 i'll be married and she'll be she'll be saying something about you know like whatever you know whatever i'm dating taz from the looney tunes in this in this theoretical let's hold up a fork i'll look through it it'll look like she's in jail and i'll go ah yeah if only every single friday this kid shows up dressed as link and i love this school does he talk well he does but whenever someone calls his name for roll call he just goes yeah pretty good mad lad takes selfie with tim cook an iphone 11 launch day using android device oh 200 iq so so much of the tim cook really just looks like the kind of guy who'd like give you advice but just really vaguely i love him i love that guy i'm sure he's up to no good right now oh good lord that's freaky i love that people are terrified by netflix's new series marianne and say you shouldn't watch it alone that's i love the is that like makeup work for the wrinkles that is so sick looking i mean i'll watch it alone to sleep my leg out the bed and have my door open you and me both dude that's how i sleep i don't sleep with a blanket cover my legs at all a guy wrote to me on tinder calling me quite the catch because i like nachos and it's always sunny so i wrote back saying well if you're impressed by that you should see mike and he unmatched me i literally have no idea what men want nachos and it's always sunny that's it that's all we were asking for lmao at bill gates you only won because you probably cheated my dad owns microsoft and i can get you banned kid oh so you think he's joking i'm banning you right now lol if we lose we get baptized if they lose they go out drinking with us that's a fair wager and they're playing uno i love uno that's how real adults settle debate my credit score 220 and i'm at the dealership trying to buy a car what can i get the hell off the lot you can get a car with 220. men need mental and emotional support too not just kuchi but if i had to pick one i like paul's mindset milk then cereal then bowl then spoon in that order one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me what the hell did you do to your hand because i had a blonde streak through it and i said what the hell did you do to your eyebrow and he sent me outside when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was that's the best you're gonna get out of me and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one is in monobrow and he sent me out again what a what a champ what a trooper in case you never noticed the los angeles angels baseball club when rendered in one language translates to the the angels angels and while in la why not visit the la bria tar pit the tar pit tar pit okay kneel from the grass tyson xavier ortiz all that end up in prison are olive garden either way endless salads are being tossed it is times like this that i wish mk videos had my facial reaction to them because the face that just washed over me was pure shock i i have no words man xavier's just out of his mind i said to my boyfriend next time i'm wrong in an argument i'm gonna whip out a tit to distract you so you forget about me being a psycho and he went you don't even have a tit to whip out the audacity can't help my small pancakes not speaking to him now he tried and failed a full bottle of wine just rolled out from under a subway seat now these two strangers popped it open and are drinking it this is peak nyc they're sharing it bro new york city is full of wonderful things a 15 year old dude pretended to be a 14 year old girl on tinder a pedophile started to talk to him they agreed to go out when they arrived the pito was expecting a 14 year old girl he found a 15 year old boy dressed up as spider-man there to beat his butt welcome to brazil that's sick i thought i was going to go down a really dark path but i love that that's the story that ended there welcome to brazil stupid idiot i can work under pressure pickpocket steals officers money during interrogation on the job i got in trouble for putting up red balloons near sewers last night because friday the 13th i mean hey it's not even friday the 13th that you do that for it's just it and who doesn't love it i do so my friend has a little sister named alexa and when we were hanging out at his place she was being way annoying so he said alexa volume zero and she started crying and now i'm sitting here trying not to laugh while his mom is yelling at him to be fair if anything this is the parent's fault for calling her alexa but please jake please tell me he's gonna buy her an alexa for her next birthday amy schumer has tested positive for funny 19 according to tmz uh she must be asymptomatic oh buddy you set yourself up for that one i sterilized my cat so she wouldn't have any babies and she brought one from the street hmm the stubbornness on the cat's face just says it all but just look at the little kitty hawk how could you say no how oh yeah matt you just keep snuggling up on me like that she thinks it's so cute you're gonna guilt-tripper so bad favorite new thing scratching haunting things into bananas at the market so when people take them home hours later and the words appear they think a ghost knows their secrets oh that's wow i am i am finding the nearest christian suburb around me this guy just be standing next to satan like well i just want to say i'm a huge fan can someone tell me something positive anything at all my travel buddy is being the most negative person alive and it's really starting to wear on me mentally thanks in advance when my son was four he saw a commercial that said brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay so he made us start brushing our teeth with him it's been three years nobody tell him behind every good fort is a chevy because you won't move out of the fast lane is this fast enough for you no not really fight fight fight fight kiss kiss my parents told me i could do whatever i wanted with my life when i grew up so i decided to make homemade chick-fil-a on a sunday my god and he posted the secret sauce recipe well it's rather nice of him to leave such a heartwarming recipe detail before he died tomorrow morning liz well i'll be your first really yeah because i'm a girl who's also your friend and for some reason dadbot needs to join in hi a girl who's also your friend i'm dad i've seen you before and i'm literally this close to destroying you wait no wait no i literally this close to destroying you i'm dad more fake costumes are left in a halloween store where what is this a series or something who we got here we've got hermeny grinder the top student at chalkboards absent father oh no where'd he go includes bodysuit and the pack of cigarettes he went out for and lastly pair of jorts of course sport the jort includes jorts and blue bodysuit okay but please tell me you actually made these costumes i would buy these oh my god dude you have a business strategy here when i was in third grade we had a google earth on the school pcs there was a flight simulator and i would ask kids for their addresses i would show them the flight simulator fly the plane straight into their house and say i was controlling a real plane and that i destroyed their house [Music] i am i would upvote this if i could but i would upvoted it very reluctantly while giggling the story of nigel richards the man from new zealand who memorized every french word in the french scrabble dictionary and won the french scrabble championship without speaking any french okay well what's the point of reading the story then you literally spoiled the entire thing for us why isn't a movie being made about this guy come on this is great material i totally watched two hours of a guy learning french yep yeah i would maybe throw in an action scene of like kidnapping or something too i don't know it spice things up can't get betrayed if you don't have friends you want to be friends no so my work is giving away these yellow good boy tickets for people who go above and beyond you write your name on the back drop it in a bucket and then they have a drawing for prizes at the end of the week also i found these on amazon my weekend plans are now set ooh voter fraud how relevant a halloween story i grew up in a college town and one halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see a trick-or-treater but what was in front of our open door was another door like a full-on wooden door that that had a sign that said please knock so we did and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes just as really old grandmothers curlers in their hair etc who proceeded to coo over owl costumes and tell us we were such cute trick-or-treaters one even pinched my cheek then they gave us candy closed their door picked it up and walked to the next house oh that is that is too creative for halloween i'm sorry we're gonna have to burn them that's just that's levels of witchcraft i don't want to ever dare tamper with everywhere i go i see his comment hello he is behind me isn't he hello hello hi i typed hail but with caps haha i deceived you you have been fooled once again by the sneaky turtle and thus the rivalry between captain vision and sneaky turtle was born there go marvel there's a new story for you to create facts in 2016 cards against humanity raised 106 thousand dollars just to dig a hole as deep as possible and then filled it there was no purpose they never explained it and they refused to donate it to charity per the twitter mob the construction company owner said it was the strangest project they'd ever done yeah have they also bought a plot of land where the walls meant to be built for the mexico america border that and they bought an island i'm pretty sure it's been years since i checked up on all the stuff i cannot remember my son asked me what dark humor was i told him you see that guy over there without hands ask him to clap my son replied dad you know i'm blind i said exactly technically any humor the kid has known is dark humor at an anti-mass protest this guy out here on his own against it you idiots extra points to literally bring in his own chair like well i'm gonna be here a while might as well make myself comfortable met a really hot girl who was half japanese half filipino think i ruined it by constantly calling her a jalapeno uh update we got married that's lovely but based on your profile picture are you implying that there's more than one scandal spicy scandal so in high school we had a group project and this class was 90 girls so the other 10 guys including me were in a group this teacher used to kind of gang up on us with the girls and one day she was preoccupied and we were talking about how we didn't want to be there and we should just jump out the window this one guy scopes out the window sticks his feet out first gives us a wink and just jumps out dropped probably seven to ten feet onto the grass and just waltzes back into class like he just came from the bathroom or something teacher didn't even notice yeah okay that ratio there is just triggering me to my memories in year 10 biology class where we're doing sex ed stuff and oh yeah i um i was always used as a reference yes miss parks yes i'm aware of what my body produces yes i know it's designed for the girls here in the classroom i'm yeah yeah you just don't need to use my specific name okay hey guys want to feel old i'm 40. you're welcome thanks man yeah thanks it's my gift to the world i make people feel old i'm no longer a kid it's my job when he was younger he gave us joy now that he's older he gives us depression thanks incredible culk covid has killed 570k people in the world and you're still alive just use 10 seconds to thank god thank you for killing 570 000 people god am i doing it right am i doing what you're saying right how to draw a rose step one draw lettuce step two paint in red oh welcome okay but how do you draw lettuce step one draw us step two paint and grin mcdonald's incorporated would like to apologize for saying that ronald mcdonald caught coronavirus and died it was an april fool's day prank in bad taste he actually fell down eight flights of stairs [Music] i'm at the point where at hamill himself could tweet a period and i'd favorite that stuff [Music] yeah welcome i have so many questions okay no i could totally see this happening though he would have legitimately been reading it out said to the part you may now kiss the bride and genuinely thought it was meant to be him who doesn't oh my god that's great national geographic can you please follow me back so i can dm you i've got some new research that is going to blow your mind i guess hello we're following you ducks don't actually float their legs are so long that they are able to walk on the riverbed you are blocked from following national geographic ah the truth hurts doesn't it hey what's your mood i feel like watching netflix aren't you naughty here have a knife in your chest yo who the frick gave my son in onyon i did i gave to a little girl an onion saying good evening then shutting the door she just said no with the saddest tone i've ever heard ten seconds later i heard her parents laughing hard through the house panda may have faked pregnancy for buns experts believe panda ahin may have faked the signs of pregnancy after learning she would get treats and a single room i'm going to greg's to give this a try i'll report back keep me informed it did not go well man dressed as panda arrested at greg's the bakers oh my god the dates even line up too what the hell what what's a harmless prank to play on your friends after they leave your place text them you forgot your phone here bonus point if you take a picture of their phone on your kitchen table before they leave and send it with the text oh why was my birthday earlier in the year already skittles is pog did we use it right confirmed added to bio and they did it okay well if you pretend that most big companies are just really old people trying to be hip and with the trends it's kind of adorable and not so much pathetic attempts at pandering wow this store is really big the second story always feels like there's an earthquake i pooped in one of the beds light service and food overall ugh someone pooped in one of the beds french prime minister eduard philip defeats children in a game of dominoes during a visit to a school july 2020 oh we will you later abortion i'm not an abortion where you should have been offering a girl a rose and then eating it a man of culture he shows you what he's got to give and what he can do with what he's got to give so my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly i think she is my new role model and after many frantic requests for the story many years ago my boss was working at this museum and they had these original churchill documents on display these documents are worth millions of dollars the only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with four phillips head screws seriously no security guards in the room no cameras just an easily removable piece of glass my boss pointed out the security concern but she wasn't taken seriously so she took matters into her own hands she bought a ticket and pretended to be a guest she entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill while wearing gloves she removed the documents put them in a folder reattached the glass and walked out the main exit literally no one even questioned her she immediately went around the back of the museum entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss's office she dropped the folder on his desk and said i just stole these in 15 minutes once he was done being mad at her he listened and the museum increased security okay if that didn't also get her somewhere towards a promotion at some point i don't think she really deserved to be working there one of the guys in my team was throwing up at his desk the ceo pulled me into his office and told me do not send him home i am not paying for another sick day i walked out of his office and sent my guy home and then i was fired wow what look it's one thing if you've got a mild headache are you just feeling a bit dizzy and under the weather it's another when you're literally vomiting dude was totally wrong to fire you man florida's slayer hurricane guy is back for a third time now in louisiana okay is it just me or is it by the fourth time he's gonna be wearing nothing but a g-string because those pants are getting shorter every time wish there were sweaters but like for feet socks make your own post socks still ashamed of myself for going to a rage against the machine concert 10 years ago hey we were sorry you came as well you ruined it for all of us has anyone seen texas red i'm looking for him don't tell the arizona ranger with a big iron on his hip i was here for god's sake how much time do people have on their hands hey can i get time stamps [Music] hey thank you fam what was something that happened in your school that caused a rule to be made someone stuck into the bathroom room during glass unscrewed the screws holding one of the toilets in place and stole it reappeared around a week later in the sports field so they had to pass a rule not to steal toilets what kind of school allows you to sneak a toilet around lamau doesn't feel like it stands for laughing my butt off anymore does that make sense lamar true lebron's shirt at practice vote or die lebron i'm only 12 i can't even vote dude i don't want to die what are teams doing on the internet that adults have no idea about downloading cars all teams have an equal chance at winning some are just slightly more equal than others we want the profile option in the menu i don't know how many i have won now please you have zero no ask reddit what do you consider is your greatest sexual achievement i went to page 1289 on pornhub achievement get librarian to be fair that'd be pretty easy job as a pornhub librarian you wouldn't be telling many people to be quiet with their volumes because everyone will be too afraid to have it loud anyway clue the movie's multiple endings are freaking classic and i will stand by the fact until the day i die but hearing that they only played one ending each in the theatrical release is the funniest freaking thing ever imagine seeing a great movie and going to talk about it with your friends and family and co-workers but none of you can agree on how it ended and they did this in 1985 the absolute madman okay dude that is amazing imagine if they did that with tv shows like with game of thrones or something they had multiple endings on purpose and just show them to different regions around the world come on black mirror you you've got an opportunity here from hard drive this game freaking rules some guy from hard drive feel free to put this on the cover of any game i don't give a freak yep well i'm not just going to take you up on that offer just please buy my game oh my god my brother-in-law the gift that never stops giving was tired of being sent to the get rice every day so he decided to buy in bulk talk to the shop about it why is god crossed and now there is a literal truck filled with rice outside the house and my sister is losing her stuff my god what meals are you eating when you constantly need rice quite nutritionally balanced meals i'm assuming but still god is a carter that was keeping me awake at night well guess what a-hole it's baby shark on a 12-hour loop for you considering the cicada's perception on literal existence itself it must be so freaked out right now what the frick is going on with itself what the hell is going on man what the hell is going on man what the hell is going on here you know what's going on man i just want to mate that's all i want to do in life dude what's this what's going on disregard females acquire currency because you can't say frick feminine pups get money in the yearbook okay sure but how is that not better anyway guy sharply breaks in front of me and i hit him we both pulled over and checked the minimal damage to our old piece of poop cars and said screw it dude stuff i pray if i'm ever in an accident that i deal with someone like this oh my god that is so stress relieving airline tells lady her luggage is 2 kilograms over weight limit she proceeds to wear 2.5 kilograms worth of clothes because you can't stop her and she's gonna do exactly what she wants when she wants i love that energy going to get a haircut twitter decides what [ __ ] could i get must be epic and grande is like hey get the beats fade and this champion ian just goes thank you for choosing my haircut twitter i'm feeling very confident right up to the barber said hey i want the beats by dre [Laughter] how do you ask for that that's what i want to know and what kind of barber goes okay he wanted it that's that's that's my one and only question in this world is which which hairdresser okay just before i die i'ma swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting my fun's love i'm a fun-loving guy what can i say one more joke before i finally kicked the buccaneer man named nobody ran for mayor claiming nobody tells the truth i trust him i trust that guy with my life we're not even joking neither i really do minecraft but the beaches are extremely polluted that's that's awful uh can you take the can you pick the things up too i wouldn't say the moss is pollution that's just grass that's biodegradable but like the trip wire hooks and the glass i can't the same can't do nothing with that oh man it is like it's all it's everywhere too that's terrible hey i heard you've been cheating on me with joe oh crap who told you oh whoa wait this is supposed to be for a meme who's joe joe mama [Music] bro your airpod was tasty it's in the small intestine already it's made its way down he didn't even chew on it he swallowed it all my man swallowed an airpod hole and just said yummy and somehow this airpod has made it all the way down to is that going to dissolve properly oh i couldn't imagine how it's going to feel dissolving yucky bear breaks in the colorado house plays the piano but not very well hey he's trying his best okay you think pooh bear has played piano lessons out in the woods no he's gonna go inside someone's house and do it okay so yeah he's not gonna be elton john the first go through but he's doing his best in 1847 robert liston performed an amputation in 25 seconds operating so quickly that he accidentally amputated his assistant's finger as well both the patient and assistant later died of sepsis and a spectator reportedly died of shock resulting in the only known surgical procedure with a 300 mortality rate he's just doing his job he's just doing his job hey yo me and my girlfriend broke up because i like favio picks in a row that means you my girl now give me your number there's no rules so i mean i'll make them you're like five picks in a row that that's that's all that's what it counts that's what it's about baby now they're dating troll uh immediately after tweeting this i was hit by a bus at a pedestrian crossing i've been in a coma for eight years i woke up two months ago it's good to be back troll saying every curse word in the english language well that's not the power of positivity this dude's a wwe fan to the max too you see that he's got sony poke that's really cool he's got oh those backlash poster you have posers of backlash the weirdest it's this is a weird thing to make fun of i'm sorry i just i'm just not why backlash [Laughter] uh you're a weird guy okay all right marvelous one kindergartner makes 9-1-1 call if the dad drives through red light oh i already i already know the replies on this is gonna be sometimes it really do be your own son why he's got the cheekiest smile on him he's like yeah you know exactly what i did let me out it's for good talking here irish funeral bursts into laughter when pre-recorded message of dead man calling up from his coffin is played i i would do something like that that's funny i like that i would have mine have like bumps on the coffin or something like you'd play like knocks from the coffin when you're trying to figure out how to change your reddit username and accidentally delete your account happens all the time all right well who posted oh it happened to him again if you found out you have one day left what would you do with it say goodbye and mend my friendships that's something illegal accept my fate i would message 10 people on facebook seeing if they didn't for the message of 10 people i would die tomorrow oh damn that's why you're my favorite this is robin's right please do not touch glass i'm doing it what are you gonna do about it and touching the glass don't use a laser engraver for non-work related purposes uses laser engraver for non-work-related purpose management laser engraved surprise pikachu a japanese ninja history student who handed in a blank paper was given a top mark after her professor realized her essay was written in invisible ink that's that's funny i like that that's 200 iq for writing an essay especially about that topic should have gotten the top mark i love it it's an eventful day at work the guy has glued himself on top of a plane at london city airport just across from me he's not going off either man arrested for putting fake arrows on the floor in ikea and creating a labyrinth with no exit that's the back rooms baby hey if you had to describe yourself in five words what would they be rule breaker he's a bad boy all right my husband pissed me off so when he wasn't looking i poured water on the floor front of the dishwasher he's been fixing it for the past two hours how does he not know that there's an issue though like okay hold on because that confuses my brain if there's a water leakage you could find that pretty quickly [Laughter] so you're you're just married to an idiot that's all you can't find the leak wow got a new job as the guy who pokes the holes in the cheerios might screw around and leave one without a hole gonna watch this company crumble to the ground might do it we'll see all right i got fired he walked in with just a loose set of chair legs then he got down took the seat top out of his bag and assembled a full wooden stool in the middle of the train i mean ain't nothing wrong with that he needed a place to sit he got a place to sit i wasn't that drunk i drove myself home dude don't even try denying it what i drove you home while you drove with a paper plate oh i thought that was a dream idiot if you say r slash good fake texts i will personally strangle your mother good fake texts oh no it's the bot the bot doesn't have a mom hey welcome to the pulled over 45 times in one day halloween costume scaring people left right front and center took 54 days and walked 1160.99 kilometers but i finally drew hatsune miku on the gps map you spent what nearly two months doing that you're out of your mind bud ah i dared to skip head day and the mad that actually did it what a legend he's got a giant he's built like bowser from the uh for the super mario brothers movie i love it wait no no no not bowser hold on was it bowser that was like the no it was the goombas right was it bowser or the goombas why do i not remember this i think it was goombas actually you know i hate when i make a joke and then fact check my own joke and disappoint myself it's a goomba he's built like a goomba from the super mario brothers movie hey can you guys please watch my tea i have to go to the store 4 000 people just making sure this dude's t is intact i love that that's the community coming rallying around a cause they really believe in i don't know who can not like this i'm the bald guy world record first youtube comment to ever hit 1 million likes we did it gamers stay on the right path even if you have to walk alone hey that's the left path button so what what are you staying misinformation what are you done no one will ever be as wild as john arbuckle hey garfield come here i'm sleeping with my socks on tonight life is a gas when you live with a crazy man like john little lad tells us daddy will uppercut santa if he keeps him on the naughty list he's got a face full of fury too he's ready i will i'll give sound to the old one too i'll do it live streaming a black screen so my mom thinks the internet is bad and upgrades it hope she upgraded that internet playboy that's that you're hustling out there i appreciate that about you pictured boy becomes living magnet after getting massive electric shock from streetland see now magneto look at him he is he is the new he magnet boy he's real warning this guy was supposed to buy our washer dryer machine for 150 pounds he wanted to see it working first and as he could do a little laundry after he finished he said let me go get my money got in his car and drove away with his clean clothes that's a hustle that's a hustle we did it the current world population is 7 billion 696 million 969 420 that's like three sixty nines and a four twenty hey are you okay pal whoa did you just cover them into your own post ah mad lad uh award after award after award just broke up with me dude what oh it's a man that sucks see get it 15 screenshots and i'll do it all right let me check the screenshots mom do it you get 100 every time you're rejected for anything dating money favors what do you do to make money ask random people for a hundred dollars either they'll give me a hundred bucks or they won't meaning i'll get a hundred dollars it's a foolproof plan my mother always said she'd come to my first red carpet isn't this the guy yeah it's the guy who's like does all the polite stuff that's funny that's really funny and the harsh typhoon that is hitting japan this man is still working out to build his muscles because the grind never stops looking at the audio peak that is one massive clap look at me go my hands can do some damage baby oh yeah uh excuse me oh dude it's myth dude okay hold on i love myth myth is straight up myth is one of my favorite streamers i love that guy please smith teach me how to play fortnite excuse me mr musk but i think it's important for me to state that i actually lost my virginity after playing fortnite oh no elon's coming to stay online doesn't count papa elon just smacks him down too i can't pick a winner here i love these guys i just realized i did a hard plug for myth but you know what i love that guy naked man attempts to board flight at moscow airport claims nudity makes it more aerodynamic sick dude yeah nice awesome sweet you don't have to be more aerodynamic when you're in the plane idiot this steam game is recommended and listen my guys got 10 000 hours on record it's okay i guess how about how many how many days is that 10 000 hours into days that's a whole year and then some wow it's kind of gross actually i'm not even gonna lie that's that's actually pretty yucky our son has some a break from his a level so we thought he should get an internship and go out in the real world instead of just playing his online games all day so he got an internship at a gaming company as a game tester and now he's playing online games all day improvise adapt overcome dude love you orange you make the best videos orange sucks you know i would say a bad word to you but i'm not old enough and my mom said i need to be 14 to swear and i'm nine five years pass and he says screw you cat lover just didn't care bro he remembered it dude the color orange is named after the fruit elon is just going in on this huh uh there's also no word in english that rhymes with orange yeah what about door hinge huh what about door hinge i got rick rolled by a qr code the qr code was on the back of a shirt i had owned for two years that's the long con baby i was just at mcdonald's and this lady behind me honked at me and flipped me off because i was taking too long to order so i paid for her food when i got to the second winter to get my food i showed them both receipts and took her food too i paid for it it's mine damn damn that's one way to do it baby uh are you sitting like grandma pictures of your wiener no why see for yourself man all right screw you pal pigeon poops portrait of itself on a leaf it's kind of cute that's kind of cute this pigeon's an artist it's an artiste uh what is your greatest wish johnny i just want to punch god in the face in your lifetime you'll get in and out of cars an even number of times unless you die in a car crash um born in a car well you're still in and out of the car aren't you wait no he's only out of the car madman a former power ranger has been using his stuttman training to rob homes in japan and can you blame them when you have that kind of training and you're in hard times gotta make ends meet my brother got a text from a scammer so he spoiled end game for them that's unforgivable it's not even a mad lie that's just a dark a dark man a dark evil twisted man successful people have read it what is your secret uh not telling others the secret to our success damn he even deleted his account to prevent people from finding out his success through his posts completely use up a diamond hoe and then reevaluate your life choices because that's serious dedication i often daydream about winning the powerball and buying the licensing rights to friends just to edit out the laugh tracks then releasing it back to the public for free so everyone can finally understand how freaking unfunny that crappy tv show actually is someone should count these for us you might someone should count these for us 627 you're welcome 30 minutes of time damn what is that what is all that anyway did you know an australian man typed every number from one to one million in words not numbers on his typewriter it took him 16 years what an odd thing to do having smoke outside the pub last night so i'm doing the wheelchair said why do you smoke when you don't have to i looked at him and asked why the hell are you wearing shoes you don't gotta wear them you ain't walking and now the future post from user youtube underscore sharky evno i hope i said that right a fan art i made with pen it has the logo the big boy in his favorite shirt if you look close enough well there's the big boy there's the there's the shirt but he got us you know normally i don't do this but since you did get us you guys with that uh with you you got him you go give him a cheek a cheeky bit of a hug and a high five sharky eve no on uh on youtube we do we have the screenshot right here we found your channel dummy we found your channel i'm gonna watch this video this making breakfast burritos one i'm gonna give you uh my official review on that on my personal account and that's gonna do it for our slash mad lads if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from mk and as always i'll be seeing you [Music] [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 3,437,706

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes

Id: PAaLIB9gR48

Length: 67min 41sec (4061 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 23 2021