r/Technicallythetruth | she's got a point

tap on the screen i repeat tap on the screen wow [Music] what's going on ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at r slash technically the truth where the best kind of truth reigns supreme if you ever miss 420 remember 422 is 420 too sometimes my genius is it's almost frightening yes vinder singh age 58 what's your excuse well i'm only 27 right now i live for two reasons one i was born two i haven't died yet that's right not yet always keep that in the back of your mind this is ed down the street your dog is doing his business on my lawn again god i'm loving the old boomer comics like this it's nice when it's not all wife bad and it's something cheesy like a dad joke like this one they sing because they can can they though i'm not really hearing much let's listen really carefully also forgive me for being ignorant but is that a straight up can of jack daniels i'm assuming it's a mixed drink of some kind but i'm really hoping it's just a straight 12-ounce can of whiskey what a terrible gift john cena surprises seven-year-old boy with cancer on his birthday here you go happy birthday you've got cancer billy i'm gonna be honest with you if they hired john cena to come in for my cancer diagnosis to be the one to tell me that i had it it might sting a little less if every human alive right now was piled into the grand canyon what's happening it's annoying or not interesting nah i'm in this photo and i don't like it mysteries stonehenge sasquatch nessie how rule 34 artists draw so fast well they don't have to draw clothes hey that's true also they make a lot of money my friend got a degree in egyptology but can't get a job so he's paying more money to get a phd so he can work teaching other people egyptology in his case college is literally a pyramid scheme kind of weird isn't it in 100 years this comment section will be full of dead people you know it's really really nice that some people actually think youtube's gonna be around in a hundred years i asked my friend from north korea what it's like there and he said can't complain i bet he can't here i found some beautiful things and killed them so you could watch them decay okay that's uh yeah that is what's going on i guess shut up though what's heavier 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers the answer is the feathers 200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks but if you can try to carry 200 pounds of feathers you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds that was deep and i did not anticipate that i saw that going differently in my mind we only live once wrong we die once we live every day well most of us don't live every day dolphin brain versus human brain which one is which a dolphin wouldn't ask sweetheart get that right this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill it is a large unusable hammer in the middle of nowhere when you realize your eraser dies slowly because of your mistakes i think that happens with a lot of people in my life too i know zack's dying slowly because of my mistakes when teacher doesn't want you to pass the examination what is a microphone true or false false what is not a microphone come on you gotta think about this it's like an iq test horses get farted on more than any other animal i don't know you haven't met my cat when eminem said i have to be stopped by 40 men to suffer a defeat 40 men equals 80 feet a defeat hold on hold on a minute here death flashed before my eyes oh dude what the hell man i'm calling the cops why can't your nose be 12 inches long i don't know because then it would be a foot what the hell are you doing anne not to sound politically unaware but did you guys know fox news has absolutely no news about foxes did you know that legally speaking they're not news if we remove all laws crime rate would technically be zero percent that was one of the ideas behind the purge zero percent crime for once a year might actually help the average you know what i'm saying name this plant please george well i guess i got what i asked for you really did there goes my hero i worked at mcdonald's for two and a half years and i put 11 nuggets in almost every 10 piece i made this man out here given 110 that's how you stick it to the man now i ain't saying she a gold digger but she did migrate to california in 1849 most likely to pan for a certain element how many times can you subtract 10 from 100 10 times 10 once the next time would be subtracting 10 from 90. you're hired why what skill did that show i'm in home depot where the hose at the gardening section thank you thank you very much this sesame street muppet will become the first to ever experience homelessness oscar the grouch has been living in a trash can for 49 years it is his home though yeah it's his he owns it have you we've seen the inside of his house he's got a lot going on down there india outnia i don't know what i was expecting but that kind of got me off guard this is insane to think about the greater tokyo area fascinating but uh untrue tokyo is in japan not england is that size comparison real though like that's what i'm focusing on here i'm sorry is tokyo really that big or am i this gullible yes i am aware that's england it says so in the photo that's not what i'm saying furniture is so expensive jesus christ he knows he was a carpenter do you think if he came back would he just chill and open up a furniture store how much do you think he'd charge for all of his work i like to imagine jesus having commercials on tv where he's kind of like the crazy used car salesman but for couches and benches if your girl looks like this she's a keeper i wonder what kind of keeper she is though is this good for wasps no it kills them can you perform under pressure no but i can try bohemian rhapsody coffee or tea coffee wrong it's tea oh my god my wife is going into labor what should i do is this her first child no this is her husband what's up stairs unfortunately the stairs don't talk so you know she might not buy it because of that what's your favorite month july why july i didn't lie oh i hate these i hate them that was a lightning round if i've ever seen it if you don't watch a series entirely you're not a true fan if you do not watch a series entirely you're not a true fan you're only a true fan if you are powered by electricity or have multiple flat blades or spin around really fast i got so mad then laughed so hard think about it every single corpse on mount everest was once a highly motivated person stay lazy my friends not even that but they paid a lot of money to go die good morning write something special about africa in africa height depends on how tall you are africans with beards are just africans without beards with beards why are people liking those comments gee i don't know you lose your mind when you're guillotined you lose a lot more than that like bowel control i wonder how they'll get a confession out of him they're using reverse psychology oh shoot i committed the murder god dang it they got me fun fact nothing starts with n and ends with g oh you're right these are the lungs of a 10 year old marijuana user they're not supposed to be that color smoke at your own risk this is nuts i'm gonna die commas are important people commas aren't people god get it right world's most accurate pie chart pie i have eaten pie i have not eaten yet but will in the next 10 minutes well i'm here from jamaica and i am single what brings you here from jamaica plain fresh poultry cuts smothered with wheat powder and boiled in olive juice that's fried chicken if satan punishes bad people doesn't that make him a good person now satan doesn't really punish bad people he punishes all people which kinda sucks if you go down there because you stole a piece of bubble gum from your local bodega when you were five years old he's gonna boil you in a lake of fire for all eternity now does that make him a good person no it's not really fitting the uh crime you know what i'm saying punishment's way too much i can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it it's true i saw it with my own eyes oh my god how to subtly tell your partner you want more sex i need this book or at least the fake book cover meteorologists today you should dress for the mid 60s me and the boys oh they are dripping look at those mofos dude you win a million dollars but you have to give a quarter to charity me with 999 99999.75 everybody else was 750 000 all right fine you gave your quarter to charity now you got to give your 45 to the irs believe me not even the joker messes with them okay same different story is it on a different story though i think you're on the same story it's just slightly elevated you know what i mean lunar eclipse solar eclipse apocalypse when sweden is playing denmark it is sui den the remaining letters that are not used are denmark i've seen this before freaks me out every time i hate it two lefts don't make a right but three do hey whoa whoa whoa you're supposed to keep that type of stuff secret the solution to world hunger is eating that is rude as hell what if you were a starving kid i'd eat yeah dude you homeless just buy a house idiot how hard is this you know the solutions are right in front of us all the time hi there i'm john a mk sole proprietor of mk industries and i'm here to tell you about sarcasm make sure you learn it so that these types of jokes don't go over your head alright back to the show this is equality this is justice this is crime they're watching the match without tickets so if the fence is that low and there's no security preventing them from getting there maybe they just don't give a [ __ ] david tradition peer pressure from dead people that's right why do we care about tradition at all when a son comes out as trans i no longer have a son liberal parent conservative parent oh man i hate that to the person who stole my microsoft office license i'm gonna find you you have my word and i want my word back how to make money work yeah we've all been there friend really the best thing you can hope for in life is to be born a billionaire's kid yeah which didn't happen any of us so yeah work it is let's go technically alcohol is a solution oh that's some basic level stuff right there i mean of course you're right but i hate you where where am i you're at the vet you've been neutered what you bastard i'm gonna kill you you don't have the balls literally i'm sorry cop you were going fast me i was just trying to keep up with traffic there isn't any i know that's how far behind i am you son of a [ __ ] you can go free you'll get a warning this time when something won't float you dense [ __ ] now i remember seventh grade science class what happened to you i sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction maybe you should quit while you're ahead was that a pun yeah i have a very serious problem so do i you are not free no you are not free but you are in a cage starts publicly masturbating how is this the truth in any way shape or form and that's all she wrote for today's video folks but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art mk fan art i made randomly oh my god you don't see many 3d renderings of it but it's kind of creeping me out also you just randomly made that i want to see you randomly make some more always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and if you're feeling super generous why not check out my links in the description down below and until next time i'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 336,705

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Technicallythetruth

Id: kjzCxGNatKw

Length: 12min 21sec (741 seconds)

Published: Mon May 17 2021