r/Murderedbywords "You Absolute Bafoon!" "It's Buffoon"

welcome to our slash murdered by words where sticks and stones can break your bones but words can commit first-degree manslaughter honestly climate change scares the heck out of me and it makes me so sad to see what we're losing because of it maybe you should learn some actual science then and stop listening to the criminals pushing the hashtag global warming scam I don't know man I already went and got a PhD in astrophysics seems like more than that would be overkill at this point and if you like that post I highly recommend checking out our slash don't you know who I am which has posts of people unwittingly talking to absolute world experts in whatever they're trashing there's nothing more satisfying than being prettier than your ex-boyfriends new girlfriend fact that he's not going for just looks anymore means she taught him a valuable lesson I feel like as far as dating warning signs go a girl who calls herself queen bin Laden is pretty high up there being a heterosexual during a hashtag Pride Month is like being a Jew back in Nazi Germany the reply from gate off Hitler it's true a sympathetic gay couple have sheltered me in their attic for the last five days the Gestapo came yesterday and interrogated my benefactors but they didn't search the house at least not this time I'm putting them in terrible danger but I don't know what else to do I know what happens to those who protect breeders they know it too how long will they be willing to risk their lives for me I trust them I have to what happens when the closet police come back though what happens when they're forced to choose between their safety and mine I pray it doesn't come to that a crowd was marching in the street today I could hear them chanting yes Queen yeah squeen through the walls of my hiding place I can't tell if it's the stop of their thigh-high boots or my own shaking but it feels like an earthquake an earthquake inside my own head my god there's so many of them I need to stay positive but I can feel the spidery thread of Hope slipping through my fingers why didn't I listen after home intact I could have left there was still time but I didn't listen there's no escaping now only hiding hiding and waiting for Pride Month to be over who's coming from Theo and dari down in the comments I've spent about 10 minutes just wondering how amazing the gay stop OHS uniform would be this next post is from recovering h2o addict and it's about the failed Dallas shooter who didn't kill anyone look at this freaking dork hey [ __ ] sure did and everyone is digging through your posts and making fun of you you didn't kill anybody and got domed by a security guard it rules that you're dead normally it's a bad thing when the media pays attention to mass shooters because that's what they wanted originally but I love that this is this guy's legacy he's just a stupid dork man dude I got in a huge argument over at our slash vegan over this just two days ago I don't eat meat but I will not look at my dog and be so of my own but about my lifestyle choices that I'd put it on her dogs are animals and it's in their nature to hunt have a prey Drive run with a pack and eat freaking meat depriving them of that is abuse suck my dick yes it is if you say otherwise you probably don't even own a dog and only think of these things when trying to sleep at night and all of a sudden you're an expert a freaking Cesar Millan of dog nutrition you can tell any carnivore by looking at their teeth their teeth are made of so that they can tear a living creature while it's alive and struggling to get away they try throwing the look at hippos teeth they're herbivores at me but newsflash morons they were proven omnivores a long time ago and are well known for cannibalizing each other I'm vegan but holy freak do I hate other vegans with a burning passion you don't eat meat cool couldn't have been able to tell that without that huge meaty dick in all of your mouths edit here they come how do the wood work before we're playing with whatever knee-jerk reaction you're having ask yourself this do you have a dog if you do is it currently on a vegan diet didn't think so shut up edit - how dare you say that about hippos Wow here's a video of hippos eating a zebra shut up don't you love it when people post video evidence showing just how wrong they are I'm glad when I used to skate as a kid my parents didn't make me look like a dork by wearing some point was helmet generation snowflakes strikes again imagine how nice she would have been without all the head injuries or maybe the parents of the guy in the first post didn't make him use a helmet because they were kind of hoping that he would fall and they wouldn't have to have such a stupid kid anymore do you accept insult you absolute buffoon top definition in urban dictionary buffoon a [ __ ] who thinks he's smarter than others but cannot spell the word buffoon oh no imagine knowing a guy that can solve all your financial problems without asking for passionate hugging his name is employment that girl from the first post is just one broken condom away from showing up in an entitled parents post let me get this straight you're asking me what has gotten better with the current generation the generation that snorts condoms in EADS Tide Pods as opposed to the generation that made black people use separate water fountains and fired folks for being gay I'll take the condom trick any day foxes are lupine not canine completely different species the problem with putting more effort into sounding authoritative than being accurate is you reveal that you are an idiot canine is a layman term for all animals in the family Canada which includes every animal in this list plus a few more like the bush dog and the raccoon dog the problem with putting more effort into sounding smug than being accurate is that you reveal that you're not only an idiot but also a jerk oh and furthermore lupine means woof like not Fox like the term you were looking for is vulpine foxes are both vulpine and canine but they are distinctly not lupine Jessica Biel is getting bashed hated and cancelled because she doesn't believe in vaccinations this toxic outrage behaviors shouldn't be acceptable it's disgusting it's okay to have beliefs repeat it's okay to have different beliefs everyone is entitled to freedom of speech by right however freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences due to exercising that freedom of speech you say things that endanger children people will criticize you harshly as well they should also can I point out the irony of the first poster criticizing people for exercising their right to criticize people are you not aware that you're actually using the thing that you say shouldn't exist I just stopped at the newly remodeled in McDonald's in flank very nice job I was looking around and noticed the flagpole was gone when I inquired whether or not they were putting it back up I was told so goodbye Blanc McDonald's my business will go elsewhere from now on where they are not afraid to let our flag wave proudly stand up for America put our flag back and wave it proudly to me every business should have the American flag on display for Flip's sake it's a flag and McDonald's you probably asked a kid behind the counter who probably has no idea what the flip you're talking about and just said no or more likely it's just a freaking McDonald's which isn't a US Embassy postal office courthouse etc it doesn't need a flag outside of it when will people in Carroll County grow the heck up and realize that your backwoods way of doing things is the reason that this country is dying except for the oil woods even that is fading away the fact that you let whether or not a flag is outside an establishment dictate what greasy and calorie loaded garbage you shove in your face is actually adorable grow up go experience something other than Carroll County because a bunch of 30 to 50 year olds complaining in all caps about how they won't buy a 99-cent cheeseburger just because they disrespected our right to be patriotic and fat at the same time is honestly embarrassing grow up and visit a place that isn't living in 1953 a while back I heard my friend a male insult another dude by saying you look like the kind of guy who wouldn't go to Walmart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes my dad once called another guy someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man I like your dad already one time my dad's boss was giving him flak for always leaving work early so he could get home and my mom with me when I was a newborn and his boss said I've never changed a diaper in my life really proudly and my dad responded I'd be a shame to ever admit I was that worthless of a husband oh wow so in this next post an anti-vaxxer called out a pro boxer for being a shill for corporations then the pro vexer responds with this because someone being employed by a corporation obviously invalidates their opinion to all the anti-vaccine moms out there keep it up go ahead and dress your unvaccinated children and their Baby Gap clothes and make sure you load them safely into their Graco car seats then go ahead and drive them to your Whole Foods where you buy their organic veg Akkad's baby food in your lulu monde yoga pants when you're done make sure you load it all into your BMW SUV and drive home listening to Taylor Swift or Adam Levine feeling good about how you're sticking it to the man and leading your independent corporate free lifestyle maybe work out a little bit with your CrossFit personal trainer while waiting for your husband to get home from his board executive job at Comcast so he can take you out on a nice dinner at Gordon Ramsay's hell kitchen where the two of you can talk about how you're making such edgy choices like keeping your minds bodies and lives free from corporate agendas while patting each other on the back when you get home and pay consuela for her babysitting and then send her home with 30 bucks to her immuno compromised child that she's trying to make extra money to cover the medical bills for if she's lucky she's completely disinfected herself before leaving your house or your child who was unknown to you exposed to the measles virus on your whole foods trip was sleeping if she's unlucky she didn't realize and now her child is infected as well so tell me will you send flowers to her child's funeral before or after you log on to your comcast internet and post about your holistic life choices on your anti-vaccination message boards so you have some kind of positive affirmation of your terrible life choices and false sense of do-goodery also worth pointing out that this was posted on facebook which is one of the largest corporations on planet earth at this point there's no excuse for baby boomers still in the workforce to be technologically inept anymore it's just willful ignorance this stuff is not flipping hard why is it asking for a password because you're logging into something Martha that's how it's been for the last 20 freaking years how can I do this can you show me no Jeb you can google it like the rest of us you've been an engineer and working with computers for 35 years why would I waste time when some twelve-year-old Indian kid on YouTube can walk you through it far more clearly it requires one have exposure to the concept of googling to understand how it works your generation was smart enough to create a giant hole in the ozone but not smart enough to realize you have the near entirety of human knowledge at your disposal just by typing in a few words give me a break I'm just not tech savvy no you just refuse to learn despite most modern software being idiot proof stuck in your ways out of entitlement the worst part is after you help out an old person nine times out of 10 they'll give you some BS passive-aggressive thank you along the lines of oh I guess you young people have to know something about those phones you're always on huh give me a freakin break Greg maybe we're staring at them because it's less depressing to be distracted instead of coming to terms with the fact our planet is literally dying it's not my fault your wife hasn't passionately hugged you since 2006 go away and another thing that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings completely messed things up and then managed to develop total amnesia about how it happened what do you mean you set your phone to Japanese on accident Debra there's like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there I think it's because I got a virus no Arthur it's not a virus the only virus is here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried by your unvaccinated and probably ugly grandchildren I just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can't figure out how to work a blu-ray player with the instructions right in front of them true fact I once had an older generation person that I know call me on the phone because there was a little red circle with a number one over there settings icon on their iPhone and they were worried about what it meant and I needed to walk them through the process of running an iPhone automatic update that was our slash murdered by words and if you enjoy my content please hit that subscribe button and like the video as well because it really truly does help me out

Channel: rSlash

Views: 851,367

Rating: 4.8808432 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, murderedbywords, funny murderedbywords, r/murderedbywords, murderedbywords posts, murderedbywordsfails, murdered by words, murderedbywords wtf

Id: -hQocL7-JL0

Length: 16min 48sec (1008 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 06 2019