r/Creepypms "Hello, I want to buy your baby"

welcome to our slash creepy pm's where a guy asked for permission to drown a girl we have about 20 models at present and are expanding yeah I'm just not comfortable meeting people sorry no worries I had to ask though is you have a great portfolio we also specialize in drowning bit of a fetish where we basically tie you and drown you for about eight minutes once you expire we revive you we paid twenty two thousand five hundred pounds for each session at that haha what worries you death are you serious would you like to see an example of it it's a safe activity dying and reviving someone is a safe activity sounds like zero risk for sure we have some footage of previous sessions it's totally controlled by medical professionals okay so when they pass out how do you stop their lungs filling with water it's nice they pass out they're out of the water water can't go into the lungs it's a process called indirect drowning because you're conscious you don't breathe it in when you pass out we bring you to the surface most people's reflex when they're drowning is to gasp for air yeah but you can't because your larynx is closed you know you're underwater okey-dokey holy cow you're interested I'm not sounds absolutely horrifying but don't you think that's odd won't you get off too knowing you're helpless every model says it no I'd never put my life on the line for money and then opieop owes a screenshot of this from the internet trying to hold your breath for much longer than this especially underwater may be dangerous after you've passed out the body's natural response will take over you'll gasp for breath or you may stop breathing altogether either way if this occurs underwater you're at serious risk for drowning petite girls tend to have a better lung capacity heheh okay what's your breath hold I don't know not long one minutes probably so we'd have you tied for about four minutes and you wouldn't drown until about three minutes 30 seconds trust me you'll surprise yourself but then you'd give in interesting when after three minutes without oxygen there's a likelihood of brain damage nope smiley face many people can hold their breath longer but you wouldn't be able to then Oh P post this from the internet one minute without oxygen brain cells begin to die but survival is possible three minutes serious brain damage likely 10 minutes many brain cells have died the patient is unlikely to recover 15 minutes recovery is virtually impossible it'll be too painful beyond that you may give in after 2 minutes 30 seconds depends how scared you are some girls really go on for about 4 minutes and then they expire do you want to see more videos honestly you're not convincing me whatsoever I have zero interest in our association do you know anyone that does no you should try though have you tried it yeah loads okay why don't you give it a go I bet you $22,500 you'd be back for more we've literally made these girls rich ok well I'll leave it to them how much would you do it for not for a million well we wouldn't pay you that ha ha if we did we'd definitely leave you down there crying well laughing cool you sound professional to be honest I won't lie we would have left you under much longer hair basically we would have tied you and thrown that effing key in the bin crying while laughing right I'm going to contact the police now so enjoy your day jeez take a joke so for context when I make a video I create a folder and I put a number at the beginning of the video so I know exactly how many videos I've made and this is number 344 and of all the stories I've read on reddit over passed 344 videos I think this takes the cake as the single most effed up text exchange I have ever read on this next one Opie had to hire a locksmith and the locksmith center of this message hey it's blank the locksmith I'm just sitting in loads of traffic so thought I'd message you I know it's a bit quick lull but f it why not a you were killing me in that dressing-gown you know I've been single for ages was sure you would have had a boyfriend when I asked for your number don't know how nobody has tried to yet but yeah when I was doing your door and you sat on your bed with them legs I wanted to grab hold of you I had to stop myself yeah I think you're super fit by the way in four years you're the nicest looking woman I've ever had what's so horrifying about this message is this guy knows where Opie lives and professionally breaks locks I am 14 I say get on your knees bruh now dude you're like 30 Lowell 41 lmao you're actually a pedophile do not like it buddy I'm actually gonna have to agree with you I do not like this hi how old is the dress got it in 2016 that you in the picture yes you're 18 20 why are you selling the dress because I don't have a need for it anymore can I ask a question sure ever sold a pair of worn panties for cash piss off pays good then this guy text her again the next day hi there you have a dress for sale you already asked me for pennies so I know you're not interested f off creep Opie instead of being disgusted by this guy you should just screw them over are you submissive switch dominant I'm Armenian actually what's that small nation located south of the caucuses I'm not asking where you're from our nation hasn't great hardship still not what I'm asking our greatest enemy is and remains the nation of Russia by formally we Republic our capital is Yerevan which is also our largest city and that message got blocked this is weird because I used to babysit you when you were little and you were such a brat but you seem really mature and chill now so I was wondering if you wanted to hook up no dude stuck-up but I could have had my way with you back then and I didn't I feel like you owed me this after I tolerated all your BS whoa ugh fine you can hit it once for real no you effing pedophile get out of my DMS this guy's pickup line is literally hey babe I resisted the urge to force myself on a child so I'm a really nice guy wanna hook up so this next diem is from Opie's boyfriend in high school he's self-harmed in front of her and he tried to get her to run off to Mexico with him she dumped him and they haven't spoken in 12 years then she gets this 12 years of silence is very impressive record breaking even Brava but does your hatred of me run so deep for something I did as a child can you remember the reason we thought I can and it was laughable looking back now as an adult or is there another reason this silence is amongst the highest end of maddening tortures you truly are a master for not knowing drives me insane but it's almost becoming a contest only things born of the wild talent silence set me free break the silence or continue this and truly set the challenge for Adam that was supposedly written by a 30 year old person why does this text message feel like it was written by a 17 year old boy on this next post the guy opens up immediately with a dick pic not even a Hello just straight to a dick pic huh yeah buddy do you not know how to greet people do you do this when you meet someone in real life just whip it out say nice to meet you this is my little friend and it's so dry like sandpaper do you not take care of yourself but listen I'm genuinely concerned about it it looks like it has an STD or something love mean it doesn't have an STD and it isn't little that picture begs to differ listen if you ever want someone to compliment you even once you need to start the conversation with something other than your baby dick don't effing call it a baby dick hi hey Dad you're probably used to massive ones anyway whatever helps you sleep at night amigo cuz there's no way I'm gonna be there is it a micropenis probably I love how this girl just totally turned things around on this guy he went from being really cocky and confident to being like wait is there something wrong with my dog are you seemingly innocent but harboring a secret desire to be transformed into an obedient little [ __ ] oh man not quite transform into an obedient little [ __ ] but more like a violent woman who wants to chop your dick off and feed it to you then skin you hello talk to me you little turd man Here I am being a nice girl and you just ignore me f you dude I think we have different interests why would you say that's talked to me you grunt don't you dare leave me on red that's the fastest reverse uno I've ever seen hi do I know you nah I'm just making friends I see how did you manage to find my page out of curiosity Facebook showed me do you like trucks uh I think they're alright oh I like trucks do you want a dick pic hmm interesting offer I think I'm okay with not getting one that's fair how did you go from trucks to asking me if I want to see a dick pic I don't know uh-huh okay not into dicks but thanks oh well I'm not either why would you ask me if I wanted to see your dick thought we could bro out that's not how guys normally bro out so as a guy with several male friends I can firm this is not how guys make friends I am so sorry that I pooped in your car last night and threw up on you like I was just having a really rough night I'm so embarrassed I hope you still love me the same please answer me baby wrong number you know I've got a couple deal-breakers when it comes to dating and I think having someone take a dump in my car and then throw up on me definitely qualifies as several deal-breakers hey would you be open to getting some dinner and watching a movie with me hi sorry who is this I don't have a large majority of my old contacts Lowell sorry I'm blank smiley face you were in line in front of me at blank and Laguna and you smiled at me I overheard you giving your number to the employee and I remembered it I have a great memory and I thought you were really beautiful so I wanted to ask you out smiley face you have got to be absolutely kidding me right now because nothing quite says romance like stalking a girl and stealing her phone number hey I'm behind you wanna have intercourse I can do you good I bet your boyfriend doesn't have the balls to I'm gonna attack you in your sleep I know where you live then the guy texts Opie her exact address dude are you trying to go to jail because that's how you go to jail waving emoji waving emoji waving emoji hello beautiful hey beautiful Mickey my goth princess uh please is that your boyfriend in the profile pic he don't have to know your secret smooch do you do you think that I'm my girlfriend in my profile picture yes my love you are very beautiful I've always wanted my own goth princess look at my profile go scroll through my pics you're a boy boy I'm still down if you are and then he blocked dopey on this next post it's important to understand that the guy texting is thirty nine and he's talking to a 16 year old not desperate never mind I'll go away you wouldn't understand anyway sorry for being so extremely alone my bad sorry I never mind baby girl forgive me someday maybe I won't bug you no more followed by five sad emojis extremely sorry for intruding and having a life fulfilling request imma just dream and go seems dreams is all I'm ever gonna do anyway with anything anymore Merry Christmas my sexy evany Queen one lung functional half my heart isn't working correctly kidney shutting down that's why I'm desperate but please no worries I'll go not finishing my list after all it's just a list sweet dreams happy holidays and be safe please i'ma go lay down kind of feeling weak sorry so this is a 39 year old guy and his organs are shutting down and basically he's trying to complete his bucket list to have intercourse with an underage girl then the origin software down in the comments adds this I had a guy tell me he was dying about three months ago and he wanted nudes I said no and he pestered me for about two weeks I figured he went to the great beyond until he messaged me a week ago I simply asked hey aren't you supposed to be dead and he blocked me would you like to sell your baby I've recently had a miscarriage and I've been following you on facebook she's so beautiful I've already given her a nickname and bought things for her the only responsible reply would be sure we can make the sale at your house what's your address and then promptly go to the cops hey I just want to let you know that the guys you were hanging out with last night at the bar are effing ugly and don't even come close to me I love how you were all over them we just met and you're already all over other dudes that's great first of all dude I told you I was going to the bars to watch the Pens game with my family and friends those guys are my brothers one of them just turned 21 also my older brother and his girlfriend was there so I don't know how I was all over them not to mention if you were at the bar we agreed to meet why didn't you come up and say hey oh so you're going to make me feel stupid and blame me no fu you should have been waiting for me at the door Congrats you just missed out on something great for your brothers you were too big for me anyway seriously bet you're mad now jerk ha ha have fun having nothing and blocked oh no please don't block me hello hi who's this I got your number from someone at school okay but who is this if I tell you you'll just borrow me that's really weird I'm going to block you anyway no please give me a chance people like you don't ever get people like me chances it's messed up I'm not giving you a chance because you're a creep and refuse to say who you are now bye that was our / creepy pm's and unless you want to get creepy pm's from me you had better hit the subscribe button

Channel: rSlash

Views: 771,484

Rating: 4.9466882 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, creepypms, creepydms, r/creepypms, creepy pms, creepy dms

Id: IJpLsLBghl0

Length: 16min 48sec (1008 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 06 2020