r/Murderedbywords "This Is How Many Unvaccinated Birthdays I have Left!"

welcome to our slash murder by words where people get absolutely massacred on the internet for our entertainment hey guys my parents are out of town party at my house this weekend Lee's Summit police department can't come though we are actually pretty cool people to hang out with but we get it if nothing illegal is going on and no one calls us we won't come but based off the number of likes and comments so far it doesn't look like anyone else is going either wait the police are supposed to stop murders not commit them this is police brutality I'm vaccinated my superpowers include spreading diseases I don't have do they make those in adult sizes oh wait there's no need I like how this little girl is holding her hand out as it to say this is how many more birthdays I'm going to have vaccines literally inject you with a disease or illness you could possibly have no association with just to fight it off my kids will pass oh they'll pass all right this lady just got murdered quicker than her kids with measles it's been two days and they've already banned assault weapons in New Zealand banned Nazis from coming to Australia and publicly shamed Islamophobic politicians Wow did they even try thoughts and prayers sending thoughts and prayers to the victims of this savage murdered by words tweets from Comcast we do not and will not block throttle or discriminate against lawful content we will continue to make sure that our policies are clear and transparent for consumers and we will not change our commitment to these principles we never will but it's very important that we be able to but we won't so let us do it because we won't do it which is why we're spending so much money to make sure we can but we won't but let us this tweet is kind of like a convicted murderer going out and buying duct tape and a knife and then going to Congress and lobbying to make murder legal while saying don't worry I won't murder anyone I committed to not murdering people because murdering is really really bad he says while literally sharpening his murdering knife I think of my paycheck like manna in a videogame once you run out you got a chill for a bit to give it time to recharge paycheck oh sorry I live in Canada where we spell things correctly I understand the confusion though what a polite way to say fu I'm financially not the same as my boyfriend and it's beginning to bother me my family makes triple his family my mom is a position six rings higher the same company as his dad I'm coming here to California on out-of-state tuition he's at the state school getting financial aid we own seven properties his family has two and that's just our families I work and make quite a bit of money so I've been able to buy him upscale gifts but he only bought me a $30 present on Valentine's Day and I'm still upset about it and not even on time because he had to wait for it to go on sale I have an internship this summer that's prorated and his dad's yearly salary he has no internship he's a good guy he's out of the right caste he is an okay major computer science but I resent him for not being able to spoil me I want to have something to show off I don't want to be disappointed with a Zales rank down the road yeah you should definitely break up with him so that he can find someone much much better than you I'm gonna be honest I kind of hope this relationship works out because I want this woman to start having babies I feel like she's gonna be a treasure trove of juicy and titled parent stories cheap mode close your eyes and you can play eighty game in your mind even Paper Mario Paper Mario is trash close your eyes and imagine yourself being a more likable person and then open them and weep close your eyes and imagine the sense of pride and accomplishment you'll get by subscribing to our slash then open them and subscribe to our / what's the coolest thing that's ever been said to you my mother told me I should carry a plant around to replace the oxygen I waste I know the feeling as a professional youtuber I keep 20 potted plants on my desk tweet from PETA Steve Irwin's actions were not on target with his supposed message of protecting wildlife a real wildlife expert and someone who respects animals for the individuals they are leaves them to their own business in their natural homes Steve Irwin didn't have a kill rate over 80 percent you do he didn't donate $70,000 to a convicted arsonist you did and he wasn't in bed with eco terrorist networks again you his passion was animal conservation yours is profit so take your self-righteous BS and shove it well it's time to move to another planet this vaccine censorship and talk of mandatory vaccines is getting uncomfortably intense Emma we've been friends for 15 years or at least I thought we were until I realized that the last time you were in Portland you attempted to bring your unvaccinated children to meet up with me and my infant daughter who was too young to be vaccinated at the time without informing me that you were exposing my child to diseases any responsible parent would have vaccinated their of aged children against at best it was thoughtless and irresponsible more to the point it was selfish reckless and put the life of my only child in danger it's one thing to spread your unfounded conspiracy theories but the type of misinformation you share under the guise of journalism is reprehensible and dangerous since you were unable to determine the difference in credibility between a health blog and peer-reviewed fact-based science it would indeed be best for everyone if you found another planet and moved there I wouldn't worry about them making it to another planet to be honest anti-vaxxers won't actually live long enough to finish building a rocket ship this next murder by words post is a comment left on a youtube video about vaccinations I once almost choked to death while eating food I did my own research and discovered that I am not alone the housings of people choked every year while eating and hundreds of those people died that's why I don't feed my kids it's dangerous now plenty of people will point out that food supposedly prevents starvation and that might be true but it's not fair to completely ignore all the dangerous food poses like choking allergies gingivitis and garlic breath I'm just saying do your own research and decide what you think is best for your kids if you choose to give your kids potentially deadly food that's your problem but as a parent I don't think the government has any right to tell me that I need to feed my kids with all these anti-vaxxers getting murdered by words I don't even understand how there are any left around to perpetuate the anti-vaccine reading a book when an older woman makes the comment that kids these days are always on their phone instead of books I responded and told her that phones now have the ability to store books and I told her what I was reading and then asked her what book she is reading since she was such a bookworm she had no answer since she didn't have a book so I said ah baby boomers these days always have their nose in other people's business instead of a book she called me rude and I told her to please refrain from speaking to me because I was in the middle of a really good book look I know baby boomers can be annoying but publicly murdering them on a train is not the right course of action I hope miss Johansson is at the reunion she was the best teacher and my favorite teacher of all of high school yeah yeah I had her too Joe hope you Tia lady was you our favorite teacher she a jerk cuz of her I had to take summer school from mrs. Johansson sadly I will not be able to attend but thank you all for inviting me to the group Larry I am sorry you feel that way obviously my grammar lessons didn't stick too well LMFAO burn go miss J whatever I could say it in high school so I say it now you are bitkha Larry you can barely say it now also you could have said it in high school because bisca isn't a real word I am going to use my contacts clues and assume you are attempting to call me a B word in that case I will point out that your facebook information lets me know that you are currently single and unemployed who is the B word now double burn this is why you're my favorite teacher welcome to class students today we're going to learn how to absolutely destroy another man's self-esteem I love having dinner together with my kids even when I ban phones from the table no one talks how can I get them to open up about their day Wow Ron I looked at your profile questions I can tell that your relationship with your children is poor and your knee-jerk responses to irritating things related to your children is simply bizarre you throw their electronics in the pool for listening to songs unauthorized by you and you hate to hear your son saying certain songs your ten-year-old is extremely embarrassed by you when you volunteer at a school and your teen is home schooled and lonely in all the awful things you wonder about your questions there is no mention of their mother or anyone else to even out your extremism your children do not want to talk to you at the dinner table they just want to eat and get it over with you are not the kind of father who welcomes conversation with his children you demand that they speak you punish them for wanting to be part of modern culture and you break or submerge the most important communication tools and then demand they talk to you at dinner please take a parenting course or put your children into the care of a more rational and nurturing person your approach to parenting is damaging your children depressingly I feel like I can imagine the other questions of this guy post on this website why is it that after beating my children they don't like to be around me am I not beating them hard enough children nowadays had no respect shaking my head I use this to help with my homework fourth grade is a toughy fourth grade is tough ha I needed this laughs just wait until you get to your junior year of college kiddo maile face imagine being an adult trying to one-up a nine-year-old the thing I like about this post is that Shannon went back and edited her post so she wrote this post trying to dunk on a fourth grader and then she thought to herself you know what I can do better than this I'm not destroying this little fourth grader perfectly enough so she went back and edit it to make it more polished cool your jets Shannon what do you have against fourth graders unnatural hair color and women are a warning signal to stay away it's an example of aposematism the phenomenon of poisonous animals in nature advertising their toxicity and lethality opossum masochism is there to warn off predators not sexual partners if you're repelled by it it's working my sister and I are having a mac and cheese battle to see who gets to cook it for Thanksgiving mine is on the left hers the right who y'all with [Music] both of you need to be in prison this terrible pun that I'm about to make is cheesier than both of their disgusting dishes combined keep your immune system good keep your gut healthy wash your hands no hand sanitizer eat real food organic as much as possible drink pure water get outside in nature everybody wants to be healthy but nobody wants to do the work vaccinations lower your immune system and cause more problems than they're supposed to prevent isn't it funny how a few hundred years ago all that existed was organic food hand sanitizer hadn't been invented and most people spend all days outdoors and yet everyone still died of smallpox from NPR a new study shows a rise in depression and stress among young people parallels the growth and smartphone and social media use nope not the opioid crisis not perpetual war not mass shootings not political paralysis not economic collapse not climate catastrophe not a soaring University cost and not structural racial injustice but yeah it's definitely iPhones well iPhones and social media used to be honest I kinda have to agree with that one I think my channel is contributing to depression and stress among young people because basically all I do is showcase the worst parts of humanity I honestly wouldn't blame viewers for being depressed after watching a few of my videos these entitled parents and choosing beggars kind of make me depressed to tweet from YouTube creators what video did you make this week that you're proud of share below the one that you demonetized cute couple waste of men shaking my head a B word F you straight-up f you don't ever in your life disrespect me and mine like that again be mad be pressed but don't f in come on to my picture with my fiance saying some ignorant stuff out of your mouth like that take your busted salty butt to F on get some business and some wing-wang that wants you cuz clearly it ain't here and let the record show I'm bisexual and I still wouldn't touch your busted but with a ten-foot pole Merry Christmas jerk this next post is posted by a baby boomer talking about a millennial have you ever tried having an actual conversation with these lower life-forms they know nothing and are not able to reference anything beyond the last year maybe you feel like you're drowning I guess texting and Twitter is not a necessity duh these lower life-forms are the ones who will eventually be forced to deal with the terrible baby boomer mess you left behind has it occurred to you that the reason younger people are so engrossed in technology and social media is because your generation has destroyed literally every other thing there is we can't enjoy nature because you're destroying the planet we can't afford a house let alone enjoy it we can't enjoy our spare time because we don't have enough of it since you've ruined the economy as well but it's all good as long as you can feel superior on the same social media website you're currently blasting us for using that was our slash murder by words and thanks everyone who suggested names for my new puppy I eventually land it on you go why you Gio because I really like wakfu and because it's the answer to the question who's a good boy you go boy who's a good boy you go boy

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,606,844

Rating: 4.8994684 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, murderedbywords, funny murderedbywords, r/murderedbywords, murderedbywords posts, murderedbywordsfails, murdered by words, murderedbywords wtf

Id: gRmyqiNxKJI

Length: 15min 55sec (955 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 22 2019