r/Me_irl · pant stuck on doorknob

computer save this image as 6606 499 f1e5c84d7c30.png me yeah how's it going everyone welcome back to easy peasy my name is zach and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash me irl today's lego sets are overpriced and not as cool as they used to be they were always overpriced the difference is now you're paying for it we have a winner somebody had to say it there's a lady on the train knitting so aggressively and quickly that her needles clack like some sort of cartoon character and i'm super intimidated she smashed out a shawl in like 35 minutes and now she's aggressively eating a sandwich i can't that sandwich is gone packet of chips gone fuel for the knitting machine that she is she's at it again what is wrong with my sister and her husband absolutely nothing they're strengthening their bond by being chaotic dumbasses together and that's beautiful when you meet his homeboys and you got the ugliest one my girl liked this and i don't know how to feel about it when you cut down a tree in italy my god girls want to be talking about period pains have you ever rolled your ankle over like this i'm so glad girls don't have ankles reach for it almost there yeah there we go i don't understand this trilogy at all yeah it's a little confusing but after a couple watches it makes sense i don't think i'll have kids plane invites arguments this bloodline dies with me assertive metal as hell implies you're taking on a great and noble burden which allows no arguments astronaut leland melvin includes his rescued dogs in best natural portrait ever i'm so glad he rescued those dogs from space finally fake estate oh look at him they met on the bus and they're chilling always about to get the kiss and it's all imagination that is um that's that's heartbreaking if your parent approves of your marriage but your grandparents and uncles didn't would you still get married might as well ask the postman too if i'm taking everyone's opinion i'm not saying a word without my lawyer present you are the lawyer so where's my present why is there a charge for three thousand dollars to men's warehouse i have no idea don't go outside though horse gets tailored three-piece suit looks absolutely dashing the hot new trend in cyber bullying crashing your plane into someone's house in microsoft flight sim and sending them the pick me irl oh my god that's a lot of pointing third wheeling with a toxic couple is lit not when it's your parents made this so i can reject girls nicely due to circumstances beyond my control i am not accepting girlfriend applications this does not mean that i do or do not like you it simply means i am not mentally capable of having a girlfriend and i'm doing you a favor fair enough no watching while phone is being fixed it makes me nervous today i have consumed 44 tic tacs they taste better when you share them with friends i don't have friends they offered you 80 an hour to clean the cemetery alone 10 pm to 5 am y'all taking the job 80 dollars an hour he got me messed up thinking i'ma refuse that making sure each one of those tombs are spotless with the finest holy water annabelle trying to visit her friend aisle 6 row 3 bro might get haunted but i'm leaving each shift in a bentley with casper and his homies in the back 25 years of ads peeled away oh my god a warning people be shook when i tell them i have a 4.0 gpa while working two jobs and a social life i mean anything's possible if you lie please tell me this happens to other people this be the one thing on a bad day that's going to make you reach your limit lamell wait how do i turn the three omfg never mind i got it what the [ __ ] great white shark in south africa my dumb ass thought i was trapped in an iceberg i thought it was breaking out of one why is being alive so expensive i'm not even having a good time he has it all but it cost him everything oh poor fella no lighter but we got science how did you not have a lighter but you did have the magnifying glass when there are several empty seats on the bus but someone sits right beside you yeah how to adult shop for a new tie make macaroni do cardio don't let the existential dread set in don't let it set in vacuum the rug do you want beef tonight at 6 p.m what the [ __ ] is this you want to throw down i'll up it's grandma i got a new phone young samuel vershevsky 8 years old facing eight chess masters simultaneously in france 1920 he lost all games dear diary today i got paid to draw doomguy teaching rapunzel from disney's tangled how to shoot the heavy assault rifle today was a good day a sleepy spider bite what's happening to me the amazing man spider [ __ ] bills bills bills bills notices your bulge oh whoa what's the holy sh german police pull python out of a man's pants after noticing considerable bulge flies finding their way into my room flies trying to find the exit yeah they can't do it how lucky are you me uh 3 2 9 8 14 15 17 16 35 36 that is very unfortunate ever since i was a little kid i've always wanted to get on a fire truck i'm very tempted to just walk my grown ass over to a fire station and just ask oh my god it worked that guy's living his best life what's considered trashy if you're poor but classy if you're rich day drinking speaking two languages hard drugs tax avoidance eight-year-old me in my creative world true post-traumatic stress more like spicy memory customer can i get some bacon me sure customer can you make it fatty me holding back tears bacon isn't that hard to make the four keys to success s u c e me gets down on one knee girlfriend oh my god it's finally happening me falls over girlfriend the poison is kicking in me reading the messages via the notifications bar and pretending to not be online all right i don't like this calling me out 2020 started seeing someone as in dating or hallucinations i waved to a man because i thought he waved at me apparently he waved to another woman so to get out of the awkward situation i kept my hand up and a taxi pulled over and drove me to the airport i am now in poland starting a new life what if we uh what if we held hands on the wii menu i can't wait to grow up looks fun to be an adult me 18 plus it's great drinking party sex thanks work bills stress back pain me trying to sleep on an airplane baby behind me screaming until i pass out challenge what was your favorite struggle meal growing up you ever had sleep for dinner me at a restaurant waiter here's your cup me oh thank you waiter puts down cup thank you fills cup up with water thank you i'll be back soon with your food thank you look man i was i was raised to say thank you to like everything and be grateful so i i can't help it first day is the pilot control tower can you give me your position me i'm next to a cloud that looks like a lion control tower can you be more specific me simba after all these years your mom is so fat i had to spread this between three books finally i have them all we may be the only lawyers on earth whose clients are all innocent the animal legal defense fund when i first saw this i thought the kittens were the lawyers being ugly my experience being ugly my experience recommended for you enjoy it these are the best years of your life this is the best low your child's risk of overdosing by building up their heroin tolerance i um i don't think that's that's how you do it pitch who wants to be a millionaire but the contestants are billionaires so it's more of a threat how would you like to pay your fair share of taxes federal income tax property tax state income tax or estate tax passenger seated on plane next to stranger who looks exactly like him we fly together yes the worshipping cross is for what part of my story makes you think i like crosses mf is be 21 dating a 15 year old like i'm a face timer yeah you're gonna facetime alright why do adults say you should have peed before you left slash class started like dude i can't summon my pee whenever i want like op come forth cooking together is a form of intimacy no one who actually cooks wants to cook with the other people in the kitchen will it protect it create completely random panic attack but most importantly it suffers from constant dopamine lack me in my room imagining fake scenarios and hurting my own feelings i'm telling you i'm tired of these calling me out gamers after gunning down dozens of innocent people on gta gamers when a dog dies in an rpg me listening to good music younger sibling oh my god that's a tick tock song they stole it from too many bills to pay not liking your current life don't know what to do become a crab no sunburns no sand and swimsuit regrows lost limbs lots of legs never gets fat no responsibilities you know being a crab doesn't sound so bad me and heaven damn this place is nice as hell angels as what tap type tap delete nobody needs my opinion man a lot more people didn't do this yesterday i finally achieved what every single college student in america has dreamed of yet can only hope will happen to them that's right i got run over by a bus on campus once i started spending my own money i realized my mom was right we do got food at home not to be a complainer but if dogs can have treats to clean their teeth why can't we government let's open schools children are smart enough to avoid getting infected kids when they cough i can i can hear this image so clearly got stood up by my date so i thought i'd treat a special girl in my life no when someone tells me it's easy peasy lemon squeezy but for me it's always stressy depressing lemon zesty i automatically think things are cancelled when it rains i don't know why woman married to ghost of 300 year old pirate announces they have split up diddy ghoster me downvoting a multi-million dollar company's ad on reddit ranch hand have you ever in a horse me riding it like a skateboard yeah ranch hand that's not how you rat me kick flips horse ranch hand holy hey can someone remind me to cancel my spotify premium in three months you should cancel your spotify premium holy thank you i completely forgot my mask broken walmart and it felt like my dick popped out i mean that's that's fair i mean hey that shows you care right me as a drug dealer we don't have cogus pepsi okay spongebob patrick squidward plankton mr krabs i thought these were titties for like seven minutes working class help us please republicans no democrats no heart lgbtq flag hashtag black lives matter my wife is making me do this stupid parade someone kill me now please is this real yeah you can tell it's a tweet from the 60s because of the aging i'm eating breakfast at the busy restaurant below my apartment a lovely young woman just asked me if i could hurry up and finish my breakfast my friend is coming in 15 minutes and we want to take your seat so i'll be here for the rest of the day i don't mind mosquitoes sucking my blood i have plenty to go around what annoys me is the need to inject the itch juice into my skin like i'm already feeding you why are you being such a [ __ ] imagine if i slapped my mom every time she made me dinner once in a lifetime two hurricanes same time same place i aspire to be like 2020 constantly trying to outdo myself always in competition with myself never letting myself do anything less than mediocre me can i book an extra session next week to get help with my claustrophobia therapist i think i can squeeze you in me you could what a school in russian prison it's nice to let her keep teaching i miss how nickelodeon and cartoon network only aired commercials aimed at kids i wish there was an option for that on hulu and youtube like please no more insurance or antidepressants please only show me the latest in super soaker technology big congratulations to drugs for winning the war on drugs yeah and well ladies and gentlemen just like that we have reached the end of our slash me irl thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to that subscribe button in the bell so you get notified every busy uploads and until the next one i'll see you around

Channel: EzPz

Views: 141,033

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/me_irl, r/meirl, me irl, me_irl, reddit me irl, r/me_irl ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: 4WK8Ss64OSE

Length: 11min 20sec (680 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 15 2020