r/Cringetopia · hot dog straw

roses are red grass is light green girls won't date me because of feminism part 2 of 19. it's all because i'm so beautiful hello everyone welcome back to the one and only easy peasy i'm cougar and today i'm going to be your narrator as we look on through cringetopia i've got an extra bottle of water for this so let's get going today i slapped a man and he slapped me back people this guy legit slapped me back how dare you slap a woman back how dare you and this my friends is what you call a double standard i can literally catch people's brainwaves sometimes and i know what they're thinking that's how advanced my brain is i honestly believe i'm one of the most intelligent people on earth oh they caught me peeping in their room sensei he's about to do something stupid just wait boys and we'll have another r slash cringe topia post really lol what it's just a little much that's all what's that supposed to mean i mean that we get it you're skinny don't have to post pics reminding chubby girls that they're chubby what the frick are you serious if you're that offended by it first unfollow me and second get some help this is the most ridiculous crap i've ever heard we haven't talked since january and this is what makes you text me wow lol okay this privilege in a nutshell i'm not offended by it but it makes me feel like crap you're basically saying look at me and how well i meet the beauty standards like that isn't helping anyone just be aware of the privilege that's all not trying to fight okay you need to check your online privilege at the door if i am in shape and choose to post photos without my shirt on on my instagram or my facebook wherever my youtube for all i care i don't even show my face but that's my privilege i worked on the body and i'm proud of it moving on lady okay i'm gonna say this do not let your little girls uh these are my two kids and gina is two phones old and jim is four phones old dad make that five phones sold m or f m age 24 you have your sexy sis nope is she not sexy licky face my sister's dead aha sexy mom dead come on i know you have one they say go to hell but honey where do you think i came from you know i'm a huge sonic fan and have been since i was like three but the online sonic community is a little cringy and this comes from someone who's voice sonic in the deathbed series just moving on why is it wrong to be a peeping tom isn't it somewhat flattering to women um let me guess you're also a self-proclaimed nice guy you only say that because you went through my freaking profile kareem stop peeping tomming me online ah rainbow dash photo bomb me both figurally and literally hey crash my little pony my little pony some bronies go harry do you have a girlfriend yes but lives in another nation which nation my imagination mine lives by the sea which see my fantasy ah interesting interesting fantasy on instagram or you could not post a disgustingly racist joke in your game okay all joke fall guys is dead but they just got a godzilla skin for their thing and let me just tell you i'm perfectly okay with that over here a heartbreaking memorial in turkey to commemorate women killed by their male counterparts tag a friend come on do it like the post also me realizing i've lived through 9 11 a recession an endless war in the middle east the trump presidency and now a global pandemic you did not live through an endless war in the middle east bro middle easterners did joker was here dude this was my brand new laptop did you have to do that bud yeah thank you did you just kiss me yes it's okay i am a lesbo you better be my step brother is a fat cringy neckbeard i'm bored as frick right now so here's some cringe few years ago both in high school we make our own anime forum to frick around with we get a few members one quote-unquote girl starts posting on our forum says she's super in love with stepbrother in form chat they both are having cyber sex in front of everyone he didn't realize that i'm an admin and can see ips he was literally logging in as both the girl and himself and was essentially having cyber sex with himself oh yeah you're so hot me thank you me that's how i imagine that went on i'm just saying you should goku prom with me no it's not goku you it's go ku the prom with me you deserve to be rejected for that bad pun there bud and that's coming from a dragon ball fan we live in the world where joe rogan's podcast is triple the listeners is mine dear god you know what you should take your podcast and put it in the trash my husband in five years bought me reddit gold for our anniversary my five year wedding anniversary with my husband was last week the traditional gift for five years is civilware i wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift i knew he wanted an apple watch and bought that as my gift to him on the day of our anniversary i logged into reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments gilded i found it odd as i didn't post terribly often and the gilded comments were old it's also the first time i've received reddit gold when the time came to exchange gifts he gleefully opened his apple watch and began setting it up i figured i'm all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so i gently prodded him he told me to check reddit ladies and gentlemen my husband guilded me 24 times at an anniversary gift he's a bit of a jokester so i figured my real gift was coming but read it it's been a week do i say something by the silverware myself some combination of the two i feel if i don't say something then the cycle will repeat itself ah you've been gilded gold once again my friend sucks to be you i don't even drive this recklessly in gta imagine caring so little for everyone around you that you do this uh do you understand the car life bro like come on dude gay and lesbian isn't real it's a way for lonely and desperate people to get attention for being different no guy wants something in their bum-bum it's all the lie that i believe comes from mexico okay you broke me and no guy wants it in there bum-bum what's to say we don't i'm just saying society will torture you society will outcast you and when you retaliate i hate you what the freak butthole wow that's so mean holy frick they will declare you the bad guy i can only pick up the billy eyeless song who wrote that me miss y n please stop writing all those chinese words on the whiteboard it's korean hey what's wrong life that's not good you want to talk about it she's okay because he lied she's broken because she believed suppressability sorry sorry force a habit i'm here to listen your problems i apologize 30 crazy ideas for a party you know how you can just taste some photos yeah this is one of them wow i hope no one finds out i'm a furry that would be terrible also me you just got passed by a fairy ooh nozzle wuzzles i heart knots the game is forza horizon 4 for those who will probably ask interracial relationships is a sin please get the hell off facebook and all of the internet and the planet my dude when you are the only one without the mask in walmart i am a lion you are all sheep oh no we cannot breath say no to mask yeah america never let a stranger sit by themselves you'll be surprised what tales they have to tell bro this is your grandma we go to church together come on stop begging for likes cringe cringe topia users here you go there bud enjoy your piece of crap repost if you love your mom skip she will die in a car crash tomorrow leave the internet fortnite kte hi i am the real fortnite account your account will be suspended unless you show me a naughty picture please please please do it if you have a problem with pedophiles then you're nazi yes i am a narcissism because petty fires are the scum of the earth and so are the nazis i can't say the word on youtube it's tea i found you okay this this just went too far gotcha life this went too far jake paul had decided that it is time to end school shootings no it's time to get off the internet jake paul let's go boy i'll box you any day nah he doesn't even know who i am thanks for 400 and on my 18th birthday too now they're maintained by popular demand i'll be starting my only fans at 500. i've been telling you to start one for months and now we're finally here okie dokie then heart no thank you the best part is years later this guy kind of got hot and took the exact same photo and she tried to give him the heart and she gave her the thumbs up look it up angelina jolie approves she is just a regular mom as she takes daughter vivian to pick up school supplies but does so in 700 designer slides why do you care dude so why do you care what she's wearing just shut up milfunter9 you know milfunter's also a cougar hunter and you've got one right here buddy was today years old when i found out that period blood says teeny bits of dead baby throughout it how the f do women deal with that and act like it's totally normal not against periods or anything but i just can't get my head around that i can't get my head around what your education must have been like me the gay cousin sitting on the counter at family events because i can't sit in a chair properly 19 tweets only queer women are allowed to laugh at alrighty then if i were white and not will smith's silly son i would be the most respected philosopher of our and all time jayden i like your music unlike most people i like most your movies including the sci-fi one no no no your music's good your music's good your acting's not bad this is dumb stop it about five thousand years later our cardiologists will find these kind of skeletons i don't know about you i've never seen someone dad taking a selfie while listening to their crappy airpods that aren't even airpods america bans tick tock half the content on the sub peace bros peace tick tock kylie jenner bravely ditches lashes fake nails and hair extensions during quarantine hey how about you ditch the photoshop sweetheart we've all seen photos of you before you were really famous just saying i saw a girl carrying a hamster so i asked [ __ ] pettit but it was actually a muffin so i'm on my way to jump off a cliff now yeah yeah that must suck down with sis trump for president memes yeah netflix did some bad things we all know it moving on oh delicious cotton candy dill pickle our principal is an idiot do you know who i am no i'm the principal's daughter and do you know who i am no good i'm a min-sexual i'm only attracted to anime characters no when you laugh at a meme and then see it from r cringe topia the monster i become i may look calm and cool at times but in my mind i've killed you 20 times in 5 minutes in 10 different ways this belongs on i'm 14 and this is deep wwe has reportedly insulted a no touching rule for signing events with superstars yeah yeah i'm okay with that you know something tells me you've never read miles morales spider-man comics cuz uh he's not tan he's african-american dead there bud what the frick happened uh internet fame and clinging on to it one day he'll fade away and want to stop hearing about him if your wife touches these you failed as a husband oh yeah what if i marry a man who is the failure then let's face it i'd be the girl in the relationship please help we have a friend whose 14 year old daughter is having a psychotic break she doesn't recognize her mom what oils i can't i can't even read it i don't care i don't care go to the doctor i'm not even gonna read the comment below you're an idiot what you're told paranoid people look like what paranoid people actually look like all of you are sheep oh no oh no are people still afraid of catching an std i am that's why i'm a virgin still it's not that i'm an ugly loser moving on do not speak german here as long as you only speak english you're right it's not an attack it's a logical statement based on a single accusation why the hell did you censor the word german because of gendered language and i suggest you censor it uh yes because juror woman is a word or juror person stop now you are literally saying that german a word referring to a language is a gendered word stop using gender language it is really so difficult to use germix and make people feel more sick oh my god you guys are freaking stupid uh just fyi if i see you replying to our tweets with rule 34 fall guys art uh not 18 i will hire tweets and block you i'm getting a lot of dms on my personal account asking to be unblocked and saying they didn't know it was a problem this is why we can't have nice things thanks paul guys thanks wife of a bears lineman wins a bronze medal today in rio olympics you spelled three-time olympic corey godshell urane sorry for mispronouncing that win second bronze medal today in rio olympics wrong yeah yeah you did usain bolt the fastest man of line test positive for coronavirus that's not usain bolt's you idiot um they say girls with dimples can't be nurses nobody says that dear men stop working out physical fitness creates a cycle of toxic masculinity that must be eradicated well i'm cancelled my gym membership and i'm done trying to be attractive in my own mind okay i'm just gonna go get that again thanks a lot internet when i became a military spouse i thought i would get free stuff wtf i'm a military spouse it should be free next time thank a military spouse military spouses deserve drinks for free freak this place omg frick this place we serve our butts off way more than anyone you're a military spouse not a military service member please notice me bell delphine i'm your husband no you're a freaking idiot that moment when someone says i hate enemy me full name please write it in death i've been kidnapped i'm in a warehouse somewhere i don't know where i'm so scared they took all my money and they want more please help me click the link in my bio and subscribe to my only fans and tip me so they'll let me go they're coming well not on only fans they're not because you only can see so much on there zoophilia is wrong guys takes bite out of mcdouble pounder the animal can't consent to such acts sluff's milk jug it's harmful to the animal dude in just an entire ksc chicken combo it's abusive slice is a smokehouse brisket what do you mean i support an animal holocaust archive this way you can this tweet is being removed tomorrow why don't you shut the hell up there bud american boy singer estelle says she likes to feed the ducks at the park in her free time at estelle darlings stop making crap up uh yeah she's the voice of garnet on steven universe she deserves better than these lies don't shoot i'm [ __ ] prove it no no no just wear your damn mask okay i'm sick of being trapped inside that are under probably 12 dressed like harley quinzell at least the one from the suicide squad movie if you're go ever wear the respectable harley quinn from the original batman ammo series i'm not dissing a dress however you want but maybe not like your 12 year old little girl that's just my thought and like then you're gonna dress up as the joker as her dad there's a bit there's a little something wrong with that relationship there bud exposing myself i watch porn i play guys to boost my ego i cheated because i needed drama in my life i naturally lie like it's the truth i would lie about my age to frick i tell people my body count is 10 but it's really 40 some i think i try to tap guys by telling them i take birth control you're the worst of humanity whether you're a guy or girl if you do this you're terrible for all the bullies calling me fat look what i'm holding that's right an ak-47 watch it yeah that uh that's definitely an ak-47 nothing wrong with that i saw a man pulled down his mask to sneeze in the grocery store see that's what you're supposed to do you shouldn't sneeze or cough into your mask just to breathe all that bacteria back people [Laughter] oh my god oh ah you know it's a sad state of affair that south park made a joke about this and now it's a real thing it's as simple as hey would you like to bone yes please and if they say no okay pack it up walking away you don't gotta do no i hate the world my grandchildren are still in my selfish daughter's ovaries also star wars i am a hundred percent straight who however oh i see we got the fox room oh my i honestly don't know what to say here except it looks like he pissed and pooped himself out the front of his pants something to think about think kids should wear a mask think again you'd never be able to really tell if they needed help oh my god i'm gonna i'm gonna jump off a bridge if this if this continues baby yoda implies the existence of a sporty yoda scary yoda ginger yoda and pashyoda that's a spice girl's reference no one's really gonna understand you know this leads perfectly into my fun fact uh the narrator cougar has actually been a scary spices old mansion in beverly hills i can't tell you why i can't tell you how but it's for a party for one of my friends who's much more successful than i am anyways feel free to like comment subscribe let us know we like see more of down the comments below have a good day and remember be good people and please don't be cringy in real life

Channel: EzPz

Views: 128,525

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, cringetopia, reddit cringe, r/cringetopia, reddit cringetopia

Id: ZtO2kwH1Se0

Length: 19min 21sec (1161 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 15 2020