r/Me_irl · let me sleep

when you're 30 seconds into your story and realize no one's listening pain how's it going everyone and welcome back to easy peasy my name is zach and today we're taking a look at our slash me irl me opening my eyes to see i have two minutes left before my alarm clock goes off yeah me hungover eating breakfast my mom telling me the history of alcoholism in our family how much of an allowance did y'all get per week as a team i was allowed to live there your ancestors who were married and had three kids by the time they were 20 watching you struggling to walk past the girl they said it couldn't be done 69 420 69. nice this coffee will raise my productivity levels sip up we go wait anxiety wait no when you're 20 minutes deep into an argument and realize you misunderstood something it happens to the best of us if 99 people find you unattractive then around 75 million people on earth still find you attractive my self-confidence just shot up reddit and my twitter are my serious accounts because the funny one is my bank account i accidentally typed battle slippers instead of ballet slippers into google images and i was not disappointed accidentally played dad instead of dead when i encountered a bear and now i can ride a bike without training wheels whatever you do to my daughter i'll do to you bisexual dudes buy 0.0001 bitcoin changes bio investor and entrepreneur uh living life in the sky eat sleep bitcoin my brain at school my brain at 3am while trying to sleep thunk when you rest your head against the bus window i love doing that it was so good my new business cards have just arrived please do not contact me look at that non-blurry kid over there la mao 4k ass [ __ ] wi-fi connected me then freaking act like it aliens right now be like we're up next freak i'm nervous cactus why won't you let me hug you is it because of your prickles no it is because i do not like you allow calculator to make and manage phone calls wait these guys need to figure out if they want to be seen or not good point can't can not henceforth i am unable to can what's the biggest impact you've made on the internet this is my cat 21 savage says he's sitting on two albums of unreleased music i'mma be honest that looks like a chair oh no wtf cheekapoo when you die you appear in a cinema with a number of people who look like you you find out that they are your previous reincarnations and soon you all begin watching your next life on the big screen too much my previous incarnation is throwing popcorn at the screen and booing this bro is freaking stupid months of unfinished assignments me who thought the stuff on google classroom was optional babe it's time for your hourly client update yes honey oh steam everyone why are you so negative me i exist without my consent i hate this city thought i got a ticket but instead somebody left a corn on the cob in my windshield ah wonderful you did it you crazy son of a [ __ ] you did it cashier arrested for memorizing over 1 300 customers credit card info for online purchase me trying to remember today's date me at a restaurant waiter here's your cup me oh thank you waiter puts down cup me thank you waiter fiddles cup up with water me thank you waiter i'll be back soon with your food me thank you me at 2am imagining myself having a cute girlfriend and a healthy relationship with other people hi sad december 31st 2020 11 59 december 31st 2020 11 16. the decoy keyboard is working ah nice fact of the day the reason why you can't dig a hole through the earth and come up on the other side is because your shovel would melt that's it that's the only reason what if you bring a second shovel that you could put in the fridge beforehand to make it cold yeah that'll work petition to add meteor animation to the dyno game when it connects to the internet oh i saw this documentary seven years ago and i think about this line every day all penguins have criminal tendencies oh have you ever had a really really good dream and when you wake up you get really freaking depressed that it was fake when i wake up i get really depressed because i woke up babe i'm wet send me a duck pic okay if you insist uh yo what the frick there are so many cool weapons here i mean look at this stuff what are you gonna use rusty iron spear nice hashtag 10 year challenge year seven to uni let me see your ears an extremely rare picture of albert einstein teaching a class at lincoln university in pennsylvania in 1946 i keep forgetting this dude wasn't from the 1700s every time you sneeze you steal it from someone else there's only ever one sneeze in the world if two people sneeze at the same time they're borrowing the sneezes from each other very quickly it's like that electron thing it's exactly like that electron thing quarantined day number 11 i learned how to use the enchantment table me stands up really fast my entire body yeah that's accurate brain eat that entire pizza stomach please don't me eats pizza stomach i hurt so much me i feel sick brain eat that dessert me okay stomach oh my god how is everything i don't know i've been ignoring it eye doctor your results aren't good me can i see them eye doctor probably not oh wow this stick is sick hey coke guess what i am what fantastic depressed throws the stick down how the hell did that happen farmy's using snapchat is such a freaking concept to me i am looking forward to many farm memes please continue do you know what 50 did when you got hungry 58 flat earthers when they see a curve on the floor nice me refusing to touch my food until i find the right tv show on netflix me my food dad can you please stop screaming it's just a video game also dad during football games into radio hello chief you're not gonna believe this i have my phone in french what the [ __ ] is wrong with you i'm french oh i'm sorry sometimes my genius is it's almost frightening what's an adult problem nobody prepared you for fruit and vegetables expire faster when you're the one paying for them some woman in the middle ages does basic math the entire freaking town that was not geometrically possible oh yeah you're right you'll ever notice that the washington monument looks absolutely nothing like george washington whoa mind blown makes you think i fixed giraffes no i think they were fine before my friend didn't have my glasses walking across campus and thought i saw my bf but then i thought no he's at work so i didn't say anything and at that exact moment my bf was walking with his boss and says that's my gf but she's not wearing glasses watch her not even recognize me and you know he was right wait it's all poland always has been mom come outside i got groceries me this is way too accurate hey barack look at this this is a well done meme i like the background in the second image oh look at these cats making a heart that's adorable i love this chat can't email i cannot essay of 3000 words henceforth i am unable to can brains my school is a historical landmark oh my god you're right six-year-old me getting out of the pool because my mom said my hot dog was ready god that's so weird every time i swam i always i always had a big craving for hot dogs and i don't know why i am a huge dinosaur fearsome and mean ah nice neck what do you have friggin giraffe what's a giraffe loser erasers sacrifices their entire lives to make up for humans mistakes humans the police need help identifying the person in these photos twitter do your thing ain't no snitch but that's iron man muhammad ali flow like a butterfly jellyfish done muhammad ali sting like a bee jellyfish i am nailing this new research finds jupiter is flinging asteroids at earth honestly do you blame it costume party host what are you me a harp host your costume's too small to be a harp me are you calling me a liar will i ever be as good as the old masters will ever be as good as the old masters will i ever be as good as the old masters i'm the best when your friend says he's going to sleep but you meet him in another match oh my god being shy and not talking saying the wrong things me yep jesus showing me memes from my phone and explaining why i can't go to heaven unfortunate you get comfortable in your bed you turn on some chill low-fi music your laptop is fully charged so you turn on minecraft it starts raining outside my mom my logical argument do you know how much i've done for you ah [ __ ] here we go again when your alarm goes off for the 500th time and you don't give a freak because you're a motorcycle my nine-year-old ass infecting my computer with viruses so i can get a sword mouse cursor me replying no worries to something that is very much worries sex no wtf no i'm asking for gender male or female oh sorry lemao female cool wanna bang you get new brain wrinkles when you learn something my brain after online classes fire fire not very effective poison poison not very effective dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon someone it smells like oranges me in the back of the class spacex lands a rocket on a drone ship in the middle of an ocean and you can't even park a car straight when you've been hiding in a corner at the party and suddenly your friend introduces you to the whole room pick a password don't reuse your bank password we didn't spend a lot on security for this app you know i appreciate the honesty british english from school american english from movies my general disability to speak fluently internet slang german accent my pathetic english how mom peels potato how i peel potato sorry i didn't respond to your text i was on my phone government work from home pilots wait a second no no that's not true that's impossible a shout out to everyone who had pokemon cards when they were younger and didn't have a freaking clue on how to use them programming what it looks like what it's actually storage then four megabyte memory card is more than enough to save my 50 ps2 games storage now 500 gigabytes storage isn't enough to install my second game me i need a doctor's appointment receptionist okay checks bookings how about 10 tomorrow me no i don't need that many currently laughing to myself in the library hearing my own voice in a recording yeah that's me when i listen to these back i gotta go walk my dog brb 10 years ago i'm back two months ago the return of the king oh my god this this would be the ultimate rickroll oh no six armed mercs wearing night vision goggles whatever will i do click the sarcasm is astounding scratch scratch chump are you winning dad nope gotta buy another scratch card see you later son scientists find 33 creatures living in a cave that was sealed off for 5 million years seal that cave back up and walk away this is not the year man ah yes this was me eating out at gatherings service dog got his owner through grad school so the university gave him his own degree everyone liked that when you don't answer messages but you're sharing memes how to draw a sheep draw a cloud legs a circle for the head and there you have it a sheep someone draws sheep using these instructions this really helped i think this is the best sheep i've ever drawn the simpsons did not predict the future it's just that our reality is becoming so ridiculous it looks like a satire cartoon it's very sad and depressing because it's true discord is full of wisdom any machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough me man t-rexes look so cool scientist nah actually they looked like giant idiot birds me oh bummer they were great hunters though scientists there's evidence they were actually scavengers me okay maybe just stop ruining scientists they wore socks with sandals ah you're awake i found you unconscious in the woods and brought you to my hut let me make you something to eat summer i wish it was colder winter i wish it was warmer spring i wish i was happy first date with a vegan relatives where's your son mom he's in his room playing video games relatives tell him to come down mom we only see him once a month when he comes out for supplies teachers in normal classes stop talking teachers now please guys say something when i turn the ac off to have more power in my car how it really is what it feels like convert all power from the life support to the main thrusters make it so stay off the tracks they are only for trains if you can read this you are not a train blind people maybe i am a train the pokemon geo dude has become a mascot for iwate prefecture japan those png transparent legs oh my god if you step on a person's foot they open their mouths just like trash cans well now why am i still laughing at this most people kill it most vegans to the garden little one be free me your name is fred and you can live in that corner over there let me know if you need anything we used to be very happy then she came oh how's life very hard x negative one years old me x years old me her i bet he's thinking about other women him what was that video that got removed from my youtube playlist waving goodbye on a zoom meeting the second the zoom meeting ends ah yes the lying pencils puberty wanting a deeper voice and to be taller ass hair and well ladies and gentlemen that brings us to the end of our slash me irl thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to hit that subscribe button and the bell so you can notified of easy peasy uploads and until the next one i'll see you around

Channel: EzPz

Views: 71,739

Rating: 4.9734111 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/me_irl, r/meirl, me irl, me_irl, reddit me irl, r/me_irl ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: PnxYPSlnpiE

Length: 12min 1sec (721 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 01 2020