r/Me_irl · hi dying I'm dad

please stop doing beatbox i'm dying it does look like he's beatboxing how's it going everybody welcome back to easy peasy my name is zach and today we're gonna be taking a look at r slash me irl wakes up at 758 alarm rings at 8 o'clock yeah i know i know americans will use anything except the metric system physical distancing maintain a distance of at least one alligator between each other this was broadcasted in florida i just know it me an american whatever the rest of america is doing pretty much me who stopped arguing with someone because i'm tired of them you stopped arguing because you know i'm right nope you better put that in reverse i'm not you're not getting away that easily i want to be an artist when i grow up me too you are grown up oh time traveler what year is this cia agent 1963 time traveler before or after jfk was assassinated cia agent you're about three weeks early time traveler oh my uber driver's got an attitude ah well he is a cop anyone you look nice today my anxiety they're making fun of you me sweating in bed because i must have a blanket no matter the temperature yes gotta stay protected from the monsters boo boo boo free health care boys if a girl likes a boy she should just tell him yes girls should not expect boys to take a hint and make a move also boys i like you what why is this a prank are you sure system error i just took a pill that helps accelerate my brain waves you're smart now no i'm stupid faster smartened you ever lay next to someone and try to breathe like them and almost die breaking news gamer beats stage four cancer now he's going to stage five oh hey little man how's it going yeah you changed bro i watched a new show and i stole the personality of the character i liked the most what's worse than a heartbreak ever cheated on a test and still failed oof heard the government is putting chips in people well mine better be sour cream and onion me sees burger king from the highway mom can we mom no you want to be even chubbier than you already are me can they please make a dishwasher with a transparent door i want to see what's going on in there washing machine open honest shows you how it's cleaning your clothes dishwasher mysterious untrustworthy keeps its cleaning methods a secret well i mean yeah i don't want to see all the tongues going over the the dishes finally cold dog can you come out yeah give me a minute mom i'm gay i know that silly come out to the car car i'm gay when i see a youtube comment that genuinely made me laugh edit thank you for the likes guys no deleting song from playlist keeping song but skipping it every time it plays i actually finally did that to a song it i just i always skipped it so i was like you know what i'm just gonna bye get out man wears swastika face mask because being forced to wear one is like living in nazi germany you know what maybe there's a good reason donkey shouldn't talk a picture of the earth before and after your opinion damn ikea confesses that their meatballs are made out of people that didn't find the exit that's not surprising i was in a park and a lady loudly called out anyone who wants an ice cream come over here i headed over with several others she handed out isis to them all and asked me who are you i've realized the rest were all our family 30 years later i still cringe family sized bag of doritos exists me you know i'm something of a family myself my tongue touching the tooth with the food stuck in it my finger wrong tooth how come cashiers at 24 7 mcdonald's can de-escalate situations better than the cops because we get fired if we don't alone on a friday night thank you for helping flatten the curve through self-isolation when your friend doesn't give you a blanket yeah you gotta make do with what you got it's not wednesday but this frog is really cute my dudes i agree futurama all time travel to the year 2020 is strictly prohibited oh grandma you're a handsome young man you must have many girlfriends me americans when newton discovered gravity my mass my choice gravity is communist yeah that wouldn't surprise me being a happy introvert sitting alone today we're working in groups genie and for your second wish me slimming down my fork after finishing my second cheesecake take a wild [ __ ] guess buddy first day in hell hostess welcome to hell please take a seat waiter pouring wine your steak will be out shortly sir me wow this isn't too bad group of waiters approaching in distance happy birth i will never forget the look on hillary's face when she went into the home of a working class family they start looking at my history panic it's my calculator history calm it's my calculator history two plus two equals four two times two equals four nine plus ten panic disney is remaking home alone this is a petition for them to recast 38 year old macaulay culkin has nine-year-old kevin mcallister and have nobody in the film acknowledge it i i'm perfectly fine with that school district says no pajamas for online classes lamar what are you gonna do send him home me seeing a road work ahead sign and saying i sure hope it does to myself alone in my car laughing liam neeson says horse a new film knew him from another movie liam eason walks on the set horse there he is design graduate builds a gun that transforms your tears into bullets i just want to know who heard her so badly to the point where she made this invention me fully aware that jfc stands for jesus in christ my brain john f senetty how to refer to different size groups of karen's one cairn is a cairn five cairns is a complaint 10 cairns is a homeowners association 20 karen's is a facebook group and 50 plus karen's is a class action hey kids i hope no one is eating any cookies before lunch time don't move they can't see us if we don't move kids just gonna start killing people i don't find funny national suicide prevention lifeline shut the [ __ ] up until proven otherwise i am declaring myself the creator of the largest rice crispy square in canada good on you tristan telling someone you can't hear them moving closer so you can hear repeatedly shouting what laugh and hope it wasn't a question when the guests finally leave and you can become a legal citizen of your own house again i miss when everyone had ligma instead of coronavirus don't we all carson when mute is too quiet but one is too loud yeah where's our 0.5 option mom clean up your room we have guests me i didn't realize that we were eating in my room mom with all the cups and plates laying around we just might mom me checking to see if those weird sounds are part of the music or not yeah oh my god i just heard the craziest thing about nicole today oh my god drama hold on okay go why are you like this you know you've been on reddit too much when this looks normal and this does not the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part deal with it darkness without light is an abyss light without darkness is blinding you cannot have a coin with one side yo so crates i'm not even gonna re-record that bill and ted has ruined the word socrates for me but it's a cookie using ouija board hello is anyone there why oh you you you you ah damn it this is a soulja board hot water mixed with vinegar and baking soda two cups of coca-cola a dishwashing tablet and half a lemon swirl it for three minutes place the pan in the solution for 45 minutes i then brush it with a toothbrush i've rinsed it and it still looked the same so i went and bought a new one a kid at my school has a panini maker so he sells paninis to other students and everyone called him dan the panini man but the campus police people shut him down because it's not legal to sell food if it's not a bake sale or whatever so now he's dan the paper towel man and he sells paper towels but with each paper towel purchase you get a free panini when your mom still isn't back after leaving you in line and it's almost time to pay me two minutes after my phone dies judging people for being on their phones all the time french pigs be like ooh japanese pigs be like american pigs be like stop resisting when you're playing pool and want to look like you have any idea what the [ __ ] you're doing that's right easily the most relatable email i've received hi rachel i have lost control of the day yeah mental health this looks like the reception desk of my mind it is for me scientists just erase certain memories from a snail's brain and they think it'll work with humans too scientists do you remember anything snail scientists my god what have we done me when my alarm wakes me up let the potato rest for five minutes when a game finally patches that bug you've been exploiting for two years you ruins it stranger m you f-18 stranger horny you not really i'm mostly just sad bro how about you stranger is disconnected being rude just realize that bob from stranger things is doug from 50 first dates and i don't know what to do with this information sam gamgee did not help frodo take the ring all the way from mordor to destroy sauron and save middle-earth just to be recognized as bob and doug why did you stop scrolling look i'm just going through pictures man i'll be on my way when i'm serious when i'm excited true when you get soap in your eye but don't want to lose sight of the shadow demon in the drain wait do peop are people scared of their shower drains why not step outside for a bit emergency alert tornado warning in this area laughs in sith lord me pulls loose thread and shirt that part of the shirt is time to go wait was that a good meme no never have been please shut up can we all agree that the tiger knee position is the best way to sleep you're right why does my grandma do this your grandma's strong is you suck i prefer positive feedback oh sorry you are very good at sucking me outside of getting my five daily minutes of sunshine before crawling back into my dark abyss motivational speakers you can achieve anything you have a tiger in you the tiger in me how am i supposed to sell property with a toilet like this good question training has begun oh my god when i was younger i thought cops were legally allowed to commit crimes and get away with it then i got older and found out that that wasn't true and then i got even older and found out it was before we continue this funeral i'd like to thank our sponsor nordvpn where are you waiting for the bus okay hurry up wait's faster when you look at someone's phone and their wallpaper is a picture of themselves doctor you smoking weed baby goo gaga doctor bro you guys my girl had a hard week so i kidnapped her and flew to disney world when i have a hard week i just get another hard week astrix you're ah another good day i finish assassin's creed odyssey ps or xbox youtube why is this bird in here obviously to get [ __ ] up jessica how's your dad doing i don't have a dad i don't have a dad quick take this and catch all the pokemon but i'm only 10 years [ __ ] off already now this is the bit that would qualify this year as the future i've tried these and it's all fun and games until you take a sip and get deep throated by a 4-inch ice rod just saying it's a bird it's a plane no it's a weakness and well ladies and gentlemen that brings us to the end of our slash me irl thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to hit that subscribe button the bell so you notified whatever dummies of easy uploads and until the next one i'll see you around

Channel: EzPz

Views: 751,100

Rating: 4.9632702 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/me_irl, r/meirl, me irl, me_irl, reddit me irl, r/me_irl ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: cd2VHgEk7Sw

Length: 10min 22sec (622 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 07 2020