r/Me_irl · LET ME INNNNNNNN

sodium and explosive metal and chlorine a deadly gas together they make table salt huh that's underwhelming what's going on guys and gals welcome back to easy peasy my name is david the baker and today we're gonna be hopping right into r slash me in real life it's the content that we all happen to find unfortunately relatable i'm sure you guys are ready for the video so without further ado let's go me order something with same day delivery on amazon at 11 59 pm amazon prime we're not gonna make it we're not gonna make it who would win in a fight remy from ratatouille or stewart from stuart little remy i hate this debate he's a street rat he would absolutely clobber stewart with his bare hands stewart hasn't worked for anything in his life remy knows struggle stewart's a little things were heating up in the rat fandom household the americans are asleep quick post images of free healthcare oh so this is what you guys do when we're asleep when you stop being shy around new people but you start getting annoying why are you like this if you see this straighten your back you banana shaped up yup right away ah there we go i know you can hear but my back just popped three times i gotta stop slouching first person to eat a banana this is not good first person to peel a banana dude guess what so i came in here a few months ago and bought this and the antenna is already falling off can i upgrade to an apple oh man and the employee's just looking at him like bruh if you don't get out of my face right now gender is a scam made up by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms ah yeah it's big brain time oh that's a 1 000 iq thought right there this guy might be on to something cool things about being an adult you get to eat chips whenever you want there's no bedtime you're tired all the time you're sad all the time wait a second car full of boys slowly pulls up next to me while i'm walking home from the beach me thinks i'm about to be catcalled boy number one yo me sweats nervously where'd you get that boba me oh it's just down the street on the right boy number two god i freaking told you jared oh that's a pleasant encounter instead of powering it up you just turn the cover to get started and instead of clicking on next page you just turn it pretty cool eh i know how to read a book ma'am and that condescending attitude is precisely why i dislike coming here and is probably related to the downward visitation trend of libraries overall why you little [ __ ] just take the book and go you ever smell the air and it smells like the third grade scholastic book fair on a chilly tuesday in october of 2007 [Music] oh yes i know exactly what you're talking about this is a vibe this is like some type of nostalgic vibe over here therapist all right so typically we call these things a traumatic event not a bra moment or a major l ah bruh no no you don't understand me you're severely traumatized can i get some f's in the chat what are you talking about chats oh goodness you're off the deep end see look cases are dropping get stick bugged lol oh what when god hates you the other cars get shade but you you get all the heat you know how this car from cars is a world war ii jeep which implies there's a car hitler and a car holocaust and there's also a car pope which means a car jesus died on a cross for their car sins ah yes praise be the car jesus our cat was forgotten outside she activated our ring to come in i mean that's what the ring is for the cat's like hey hey you jerks left me out here open the door 1957 1978 2005. freaking hell how old is this chicken yeah i know crazy right the chicken just keeps getting bigger and bigger and older and older america be like time to vote for president these are your choices an old white man on the red side and an old white man on the blue side yup it's it's always this my evil clone pointing to me shoot him he's the clone friend aims at the clone the real alex would never pass up an opportunity to die see that's a real friend right there me reading 300 comments of an argument on facebook that has nothing to do with me true and to be fair the arguments are pretty entertaining even though it has nothing to do with us it is just so fun to watch people throw fire at each other march commercial during these uncertain times we're thinking of you and your family august commercial look you might as well just catch it at burger king yeah we really did switch up my wi-fi be like connected connected but no internet ah what severely injured woman heroically fights off paramedics trying to force her into medical debt the topical is like this like 13 minute video that the onion does it is extraordinarily hilarious and this woman is a hero i mean come on what's worse a traumatic head injury or having to be like five hundred thousand dollars in debt come on no no no she's a hero sometimes i feel like i fake my depression for attention my depression literally doesn't think it's good enough to be real depression i got depressed depression yeah i'm certain that can't be a good feeling introducing the i'm gonna [ __ ] die disease symptoms tummy hurts a bit too much for a bit too long i'm sure we've all been there i remember for me i was going through something like this and it was an absolute terrible feeling and i legitimately thought i was going to [ __ ] die doctor i have your test results me did i pass doctor you will soon me haha wait what my top three assumptions when the doorbell rings one murderer two police telling me everyone is dead or three the book i ordered about positive thinking yeah that last one is definitely something you should use see look the cases are dropping uh sir that is the graph upside down see what did i tell you they're going down remember kids drugs are for losers and coming in last we have number four yay drugs me during my emo phase me during my current phase where i'm one thousand times more sad but dressed normal for work fakest thing i've ever seen fakest thing you've ever seen they made a movie about dinosaurs destroying an amusement park but this is the fakest thing you've ever seen quit yelling cap's lock is stuck spilled baja blast you know he looks like the guy to be drinking baja blast over his keyboard but as sad of a predicament as this guy is in can we just admire his beard for a second like come on that thing is glorious this apple fish decided to walk out of the water one day and now i have to go to work and pay rent yeah screw you you stupid walking fish have a safe flight hi you too launching in three two one you too god i'm such a freaking [ __ ] bro there is nothing like when your game loads for a second and you see yourself in the black mirror of your monitor and you have that brief clearness of mind and think what the [ __ ] am i doing with my life and then the happy colors come back and you forget all your problems oh boy okay i relate to this one a little more than i should oh that's your girl lmao then why did she just give me her number and insurance information after i rear-ended her car in the applebee's parking lot it's mrs steele girl as a kid i thought sleepovers were wild because we played video games for 10 hours then i heard about girl sleepovers and they're actually wild man they gossip and eat 40 pounds of food they take blood oats they host fight nights they sacrifice the weakest member to the goddess of the moon like what the wow that is definitely a brand new sentence but it's true girl sleepovers are pretty crazy i remember my sister went to a sleepover with her friend abigail and uh abigail was never seen after that night mother my son will be a doctor and he will save people's lives father no he is so smart he will be a scientist me in the next room okay google look up google.com ah perfect girl touches my hand my dick erects me why though she only touched my hands my i am a bot and this action was performed automatically please contact the brain for more information and then you confront your brain and it's like hey man i'm just doing what i do for my second date with my husband we met in new york city and went to a party and ended up in a mcdonald's at 3am where he reached across the table grabbed my hands looked at me adoringly and said i hate this i wanted to go to bed at nine o'clock do not expect this on me again and you all lived happily ever after that's awesome nobody in their right mind would come to helsinki in november except you you badass welcome aboard dudes who order boneless wings close the fridge with their hips yeah and what of it my hands are full of my ass as fat you [ __ ] wish you were me everyone at schrodinger's funeral looking at the coffin hmm i don't know about this body me in 2040 looking at the f my son got on his math homework that i solved well son looks like we're both stupid what we see versus what humans see ah who's we o p who's we dad pumps gas into the car mom the smell of gasoline gives me migraines me in the back seat inhaling that petrol incense oh yeah whoa watch out insecurity over here wow this guy is just like my insecurity enormous and intimidating i would like to formally apologize to the jurassic park franchise for every time i've gone why would they just constantly reopen the parks people are dying 2020 has me seeing clearly now yeah we just don't care about lives anymore i love kindness unless it's a person at a four-way stop waving for me to go when it's clearly their turn i mean it is a nice gesture and all but you're essentially asking me to break the law which is just stupid i don't want to do that you do what you have to do and imma do what i have to do not all landlords are bad people hey i noticed you were going through a tough time right now financially i've heard you got laid off because of the pandemic and i hate seeing my tenants unhappy so why don't you enjoy a rent-free month wait really you're amazing i've been stressed out for the longest time and this might actually be the gesture that gets me back on my feet you have no idea how grateful i am oh that's so sweet hey wait a second what did they say after that nah just kidding go [ __ ] yourself ah they had us in the first half i'm not gonna lie laziness random motivation at two in the morning and more laziness yep that's my schedule humans sends interstellar radio message into space every life form in the universe swipes left yeah let's be honest if aliens wanted to talk to us they could have by now ariana grande drew a black line on her shoulder to make us believe that she wasn't naked in the pool with her boyfriend illusion 100. honestly i wouldn't have even noticed but to be fair like who cares you could be naked it's your pool you're a millionaire just live your life when you carry your personal cloud everywhere you go i wait a second the cloud is literally the same in every picture oh man okay so that's not good that's that's extraordinarily sus wait that doesn't mean she like fake these does it cause i mean the pictures look really real maybe she just put the clouds up there to like add to the scenery i don't know this is just a really weird thing to do when main character is dying but you know he won't because he's the main character uh you know i'm actually not afraid i love masks i can't believe i let y'all just breathe on me before i feel the same way about grocery lines like stay six feet away from me forever the four stages of making a meme i've got an idea let me just write this up posted a reddit and 32 upvotes oh but just wait until somebody reposts your meme and then gets way more upvotes than you then you'll really start to feel the pain i just received a two hour voice message from my boyfriend oh that can't be good guys guys i just listened to it and this dumbass forgot to end the voice message after saying good night and just it just slept oh that's actually kind of wholesome hey hey how's your night going my what night oh okay good night she's probably sitting there like wait what no no come back five-year-old me after saying no we can't to the bob the builder theme song i'm an evil mastermind introverts whenever they get the wrong order works for me yeah because you don't want to make a fuss like what if they spit in your food or what if they just don't like you afterwards nah you just gotta be quiet about it just take the wrong order and leave daniel says when i grow up i want to be carried away by owls i mean we could sit back and say okay that's a pretty weird dream daniel but to be fair i bet nobody else in his class had a dream like his so follow your dreams dan i can only be contacted by text message explain why you cannot be contacted by telephone call because i don't like it end of story that's a perfect answer depression isn't always obvious shaving my piano yeah this is actually a cry for help can somebody check on this person people sick of seeing the same meme format me combining meme formats for internet points ah yeah usps tracking one the package has left the facility two we have no [ __ ] idea three package delivered get pregnant you'll find out who your real friends are i promise you that i just feel like there are steps that you can probably take before this one nope no no if you want to find out who's a real friend get yourself pregnant and then boom you'll know immediately don't worry about vetting or talking to your friends or like understanding the extent of your friendship no just get pregnant you'll figure it all out me changing all my social profile pictures after getting a good picture only the best one can stand hey guys let's all get in this picture for my profile oh man i'm sorry we had to crop jeff out jeff oh wow guys of course you cropped me out when the page is taking forever to load and you hit reload and just at that exact moment you hit reload it finally loaded why why must you put me through this now that i've lived during a plague i can understand why renaissance paintings are all chubby women lying around with their boobs out me respecting the quarantine as much as possible everyone on instagram my mom bought me a two carat ring uh it's carrot with a k no no you misunderstand she bought me a two carat ring i don't understand why two people reaching into the same bag of chips at the same time is considered romantic like excuse me you're in the way of my snacks now you can either move your hand or lose your hand because i'm getting my snacks when the barber spins you around to reveal that they ruined your [ __ ] life what did you do to me how could you me stepping out of the time machine i come from the future soldier oh great we could use your help thousands of us have died in this war for the treasure called salt me what like table salt soldier why do you call it that me uh soldier why do you call it that my phone hundreds of screenshots i don't use yeah that's accurate me holding newborn son doctor we're gonna have to give him some shots me oh hell yeah pour it up it's his [ __ ] birthday my dad's signature oh that's pretty good my signature oh poor tony believing in the bible makes you a christian but reading and understanding the bible from the first to last page makes you an atheist i strongly disagree sophia listen i do not permit a woman to teach or have the authority over a man she must be silent timothy 2 12. please be silent sophia me trying to fit the sleeping bag back in the sleeping bag's bag it can never be done once it's taken out it can never be put back in if asians got random english tattoos too it means love in english no i'm pretty sure that says soup having to cough in public excuse me everyone i need to inform you all that i do not have the coco virus i simply have choked on my own spit because i'm truly incompetent as a human i'm sure people assumed it but yeah it needed to be said oh god that is a beast what is the opposite of it probably sounds something like oh god get away from me me just trying to find an empty toilet stall the person inside i made eye contact with oh boy my bad man only psychopaths buy a sticker and immediately put it somewhere no you have to think about the places you could stick it get overwhelmed and then put in your drawer for three years this is unfortunately true i still got my stickers in my drawer i got about one more year to go things strict parents think they're teaching you how to behave what they actually teach you how to listen for footsteps how to appear busy how to manipulate someone into calming down and also how to lie on the spot good job mom and dad you raised the perfect demon when your friend about to do something stupid but you kind of want to see what's going to happen yeah you could stop you know maybe keep going but hey yeah i'm saying stop but uh yeah nobody's actually going to stop you oh my god shark dude we're sharks oh right this is how i feel about teenagers i know right those kids are so scary well actually now that i think about it i'm almost 20. i'm about to not be a teenager anymore oh gosh i'm getting old when you're almost asleep but you hear that text and you have to roll over to see who in the world would be contacting you at the ridiculous hour of 9 00 pm oh this better be good uh mom i threw up do i have to go to school tomorrow when someone you trust finally touches you and you realize you've been starved for physical affection all your life this guy is loving the affection i love this me at 14. can't wait to travel the whole world once i'm earning my own money me now mustn't forget the tupperware it's my only one i don't smoke dope i don't drink bourbon all i want to do is shake my turban rock on peter rock on thanksgiving dinner in 2080 me has dementia this turkey has big dick energy my great grandson bro what the [ __ ] if someone gave you 200 because you're ugly would you take the money absolutely i'm ugly not stupid bill gates is spending 150 million dollars to try and make the coco virus vaccine as cheap as three dollars brits you guys are getting charged yeah yeah yeah we are props to bill gates though first day as bartender her pina colada please me okay her can you make it virgin me trying not to cry yes i know how to make it oh can you make it virgin he's like how did she know virus enters my body flintstones vitamins i ate 20 years ago not on our watch what if vesivius volcano erupted in 2020 softly don't don't speak it into existence we can't take another blow a dinosaur wishing on a shooting star i wish for a million more wishes wait what oh god no me at 15 i'm gonna be a cool adult i'm gonna be down with the youth me at 25 i hate the younger generation pov you're a female with the legend of zelda shirt on oh my god my lady did you know that zelda's just the princess the real hero is link oh my god it's a female it's a female well i guess we're gonna have to end it off with neckbeards because that's my time i hope you guys enjoyed the video if you did make sure to leave a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads i'm your host david the baker and i will see you in the next video peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 407,863

Rating: 4.9539165 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/me_irl, r/meirl, me irl, me_irl, reddit me irl, r/me_irl ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: cZquNVNNfOU

Length: 18min 0sec (1080 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 05 2020