r/Technicallythetruth · not wrong

you haven't lived if you haven't done this ah i'm alive hello everybody welcome back to easy peasy my name is cougar and today we're going to be diving on into r slash things that are technically the truth let's get to it wow are we going back to the 20s where shoulders turned people on well it is the 20s not just that we had a roman 20s now it's time for the crash and fall baby crash and fall back to the future festival hi do you accept children under the age of two at the festival no just credit card and cash thanks damn i want to trade my kids for tickets hey look an alien this is my planet so you're the freaking alien here get out of here before i put you in an area of 1-5 it's the opposite of you guys they think your haircuts are unamerican beetles well it was very observant of them because we aren't american actually the flash would go faster on a bicycle than a motorcycle huh i guess he would what is gay and straight at the same time bisexuals i help blind kids hey nice shirt thanks just dump the bleach on the kids if we could talk more about it i'll only buy you a new game if you got an a on one of your tests [Music] damn it i suppose you're right i don't care how much i have to pay for boneless watermelon it's worth it i thought maybe they just ran out of seedless stickers but no there's still seeds in it this is a boneless watermelon like every watermelon a deadly mosquito-borne virus that causes brain swelling in humans has been detected in florida yeah this is big brain time all right big brain indeed teacher you can't breathe underwater me i beg to differ sir you're totally wrong fun fact spiders are the only web designers that enjoy finding bugs okay that's that's a pretty good dad joke right there went to restaurant with wife waiter hey we love you guys and wanted to get you a dessert what would you like we picked czech gums got charged for dessert hey sorry uh looks like you charged us for the cake yes you ordered it what but you what we wanted you to haha we tricked you my friend hey cap's luck i wish nothing changes it is done nothing's changed correct well something changed if you think about it he now has two wishes instead of three or does he he doesn't say he's down a wish he just says nothing's changed satanists don't believe in a literal satan huh then what do you call people who believe in a literal satan christians oh damn christianity just gotta burn from the church of satan avatar is a movie about a guy who betrays his entire planet just so he can clap some alien cheeks it's the true story inspired by area 51 raid yeah sex is cool but liquid nitrogen at negative 321 degrees fahrenheit is much cooler when a deaf person wins an auction i've won but at what cost and what cost can you take a picture of the credit card for me hmm okay okay you did take the picture i won't fault you on that cutlery stablery scuba lurie like stability for the fork cutlery for the knife and scuba bell delphine or something i don't know i'm not a simp that is a bell bell dolphin i guess that works i guess that works black widow should be dropped on disney plus immediately if you want to see a black widow drop on disney plus jump to holy crap they got her they gotta get it the marketing department at durex is having a bit too much fun protect yourself and your loved ones going out and going in right now it's not social distancing if you're going in just saying some earrings i ordered on aliexpress never arrived and they asked for a photo evidence here you go here's my empty hand nothing's in them nothing at all with great power comes great electricity bill my god he's right he's the savior i need made this when i was 11 and i don't really remember how probably with your hands maybe your feet but i'm just saying probably with your hands we won the war against coronavirus the same way we won the war against vietnam it got too expensive so we pretended that it was over and it just vanished and we could all go outside again and i'm not going insane locked in the booth what are you talking about atheists if god isn't real how do you explain walking on water can you walk on water like jesus yes show me a video of you walking on water i don't need to you just need to have faith that i did if you don't watch a series entirely you're not a true fan if you do watch a series entirely you are not a true fan you are only a true fan if powered by electricity have multiple flat blades spin around really fast hey man fans don't need to spin around fast i'm just saying i work at mcdonald's i have a part-time job in fast food i handle transactions for a multi-billion dollar company and industry on a daily basis and help provide around 2 billion to the u.s economy each year morgan ploy cremated by mistake while taking nap oh my god i guess two people got fired that day the cameraman in the flash is just as fast as the flash i want to hurt you but you're probably right skyrim is without a doubt one of the games ever made you're right it is one of the games ever made relationship goals ah they're so cute even though there are different types of goals one's got a round edge one's got a sharp edge love found a way watch hamilton with a critical eye there are some major historical inaccuracies many of these large musical numbers never happened what's it like to have a penis eh it's hard sometimes but then it's also soft sometimes they're big sometimes they're small in my case it's always small when you get right down to it blank is just blank a thermonuclear detonation is just a hot mess huh it is just a hot mess i guess you could say that for chernobyl all day long you are what you eat so cannibals are the only real human well yes but actually no but you got me there what made you lose faith in humanity humans because we all suck well not all of us but some of us i suck you discover that you have the ability to go invisible the catch is you can only do it while holding your breath what's the first thing you do hold my breath what was the biggest karen you have ever encountered her name was karen and she was five seven massive for a girl dude the four keys to success s-u-c-e spell it out for me s-u-c-c-e-s-s strange i volunteered to help blind children today that's a verb not an adjective by the way i bet that the kids never saw it coming and they'll never see it coming again high five fifty percent less bacteria than a handshake this bump ninety percent less bacteria than a handshake sweep of the leg a hundred less bacteria than handshake oh i'm gonna do it i'm gonna get to the top thank god wise man tell me the secrets of the universe 50 of canada is the letter a my god it was worth the entire lifetime of searching three words eight letters say it and i'm yours three words eight letters now let's go mary jane let's go make a spidey kid 10. can we travel faster than light no no we can't my wife's calculator wasn't working due to the lack of light so i told her to use her phone this was not what i was expecting i mean she used the phone all right alice places a prepared slide in her microscope but when she looks into it she can't see anything suggest one reason why not she is blind uranus has a diameter of more than 50 000 kilometers that's more than a mile we saw us michael here with a fact if we can just get through this month we only have one more month to go before we need to get through another month think about it that way guys sodium bromate sodium bromate want to hang this week nah bro which biomass stops squid from spawning nether nether it does to the guy who invented the number zero thanks for nothing exam write a 200 word essay me olive oil composed of refined olive oils and virgin olive oils oil compromising exclusively olive leaf oils that have undergone refining and oils obtained directly from olives so therefore the olives of the olive oil are actually true olives coming from an olive tree which is grown from an olive tree seed and i could keep going on but i'm gonna stop what rhymes with orange no it doesn't sometimes my genius is it's almost frightening fun fact a word that does actually rhyme with orange is orange it's a spore sack on a fern 1963 2014 dang that guy had some abs back in the day this is fake they haven't been sat on the rock for 50 years if you look closely you can clearly see her swimsuit is different in the second photo it has stripes on it and the guy shorts seem to have a more floral pattern in the latter photo also if someone sat on a rock for 50 years it would have made the news my theory is they simply returned to the same location 50 years later and recreated the original photo what did you honestly think they didn't do that you idiot a really really really zoomed out picture of me oh i would add a few more reallys but there you go l average 2019 avoid negative people 2020 avoid positive people we're all gonna die when you're post punk yeah deliver the mail baby boys who don't flirt with every girl need to be protected done baby comma making faces oh isn't he cute baby making faces no comma no space i was gonna do the girl voice but no give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day teach a man to embrace the paradoxes of quantum mechanics and i'll give himself the same fish over and over again in an internal loop of temporal torment my god my brain hurts me doing a push-up my arms i raised that boy i raised him up off the ground it was only for half a push-up because cougars out of shape but damn we did it if you can read this be very upset if those kids could read they'd be very upset you came out of a vagina c-section for the win you were never born then just removed ouch happy removal day tuma baby you son of a snitch i'm in it's quick it's easy and it's free pouring river water in your socks why would i do that lmao it's quick it's easy and it's free this has been reposted too many times already reposting it's quick it's easy and it's free did you know scuba divers roll backwards out of boats because they rolled forwards they would just go into the boat unless they just kept rolling forward then they go out the other end how come water doesn't evaporate out of water bottles but water on my kitchen floor dries within a day thank you bottles have lids my house has a roof still how to make your computer run faster step one put a blue hedgehog in and send it away maybe there's someone faster than usain bolt but that just hates running bolt hates running that's why he gets it done so quick if scooby-doo is a talking dog scoob is the only supernatural creature that gang has found i'm worried about you sometimes candace and that's not true there was a series called thirteen ghosts where they found real ghosts but recently wb retconned that with a new movie but then again in the one movie the live action one there were real ghosts and i'm just going on a scooby-doo loop aren't i many modern things have their origins in middle ages for instance the ice cream sandwich dude that's gotta be a bad way to go to i can't come to work today my dog is sick how sick extremely sick [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i hate anti-masters they make me sick yeah yeah one of them got me sick but don't worry everybody i'm not dying i'm clear good to go now seinfeld it did fall it did fall indeed hmm i wonder how i would look with a six-pack yeah baby all the ladies gonna be all over me in my six-pack now i'm a skateboard fan that is freaking amazing but i wouldn't trust it because skateboards are pretty heavy as a rule because they're made of like a good combination of wood but that just kind of looks like they cut some fan blades to look like it so anyways it's just cool step by step guide on how to fall downstairs step one step two step four step seven step twelve step eighteen step twenty five hospital you skipped a few steps no i flew over them frank small arms dealer wait these guns are big welcome i'm frank and i got some small arms ten words i can spell right are ten words i can spell right are octopus 7-2 3 out of 10 see me after class why are you booing me i'm right you didn't say i couldn't use it i follow a psychic subreddit only for the entertaining stories people post one person was 100 convinced they bought a haunted car because they got into three car accidents in the first month of owning it maybe they're just bad driver but no dozens of people came forward to give them advice on cleansing the spirits from their car in fairness consuming spirits in the car can definitely lead to accidents what's upstairs unfortunately the stairs don't talk but they are heated oh you don't say condom sex does not count just hear me out a theory if you wash your hands with gloves on did you really wash your hands well depends what type of glove they are really i see your point but let me ask you this if i straggle you to death with gloves on did i really strangle you to death yeah shut the frick up okay this guy wins my wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it went out had a few drinks nice guy he's a web designer he likes finding bugs though jess frick oh my god what happened i put tape on my fingers it looks like you're also cutting the circulation off the tips of your fingers look a little purple there bud this is a time machine or as i like to call it a clock aka a time telling machine if 13 year old you met current you what would you think of themselves now you'd be impressed with my time machine yeah he would mine would be sad about where my life has ended up if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points huh can also have a tie game every time and friendship and love and harmony frozen two official trailer that's right those are two official trailer does this really have 94 million views three times four equals three times four equals twelve ah it does it does it does it does a stoned wall with a twist okay first of all it should just be stonewall but it could be stoned whoever put this together but that's still freaking awesome this pen is amazing it writes underwater it writes other words too they had us in the first half not gonna lie not gonna lie that is a pretty sick looking pen though a vaccine for coronavirus is coming don't get vaccinated the vaccine will contain the virus yes that's what vaccinating means why are people so stupid ohio veteran 37 who went viral for refusing to wear a mask died of covet 19. oh he went viral all right went viral straight to the casket [Music] ducks are just waterproof chickens huh that's kind of a cool fact now that i think about it stop saying she's my wife that's sexist af period hello everyone meet lorraine she's the woman i fricked on the night of my wedding so uh yeah i'm not allowed to call him my wife though that's uh that's that's sexist nowadays with pc culture top 10 best photo bombs oh oh that's not okay look at the kids they don't even see it coming what job sounds good in theory but actually sucks [ __ ] hey get it it says blow but you're actually doing the sucking now get back to it graham could you define chair for me in a way that excludes all things which are chairs and excludes all things which aren't a separate seat for one person typically with a back and forth legs happy to help you but try google next time the definition of woman is there too chair moo i am both cow and horse without using numbers how old are you a year a and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and year and year and year and year and year and year and year and year and year and year and a year and a year and a year and year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year and a year close enough i got most of them i'm too lazy to count them how much is this it's at least three i can vouch for that as i just read almost all of them it is at least three well everyone if you made it this far you are a year and a year and a year and a year and a year old at least anyways feel free to like comscribe let us know we like to see more of hear from us at easy peasy down in the comments below have a good day and remember be good people

Channel: EzPz

Views: 277,637

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth top posts, technically the truth, r/technicallythetruth best posts, r/technicalythetruth emkay, emkay, r/technicallythetruth ezpz, ezpz, ez pz

Id: 1lkX3K0oAu8

Length: 17min 22sec (1042 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 11 2020