r/Comedyheaven | A COMMUNIST, ARE YOU???

and then I saw her face dad dunt dunt dunt no I'm a retriever how but how did you how how how did you what's up guys and welcome back to NK my name is Damon and they were looking through our slash comedy heaven Karl Weezer hallways alixus fingers and moans the Wii theme mins listen to ten thousand six hundred fifty five and in the soul genre cuz crow is her he's a soulful guy thinking about that time I drew dr. Phil from my art final at high school got a see well honestly I can see why thank you thank you hey Dad I got the job what holy cow it's out of this world never mind what it's a holy cow it's out of this world son don't you see it I see it I am vengeance I am the night I am Batman I am fish yes you are 19:19 last Putin try nineteen Putin 21 1910 okay I like that pick your fighter kill garnish they consumer of reality or Maurice all beckon before have big quiver before his call pick your fighter ah I'm gum man on the F upper Michael Fidel I am looking for my son is he there hi Debbie if you head to our website your local target check here I have no son well we're sorry to hear that Debbie do you have yes or no oh no sir a third option sucks her Wiener nuts swallows thanks no problem is this kick why are you doing this okay you know whatever mind it's kick I understand it's kick bro I heard you died in a car accident please reply bro at least say goodbye bro I'm dead I can't reply and I forgot sorry rusty peace broke me eating a cucumber and salads because my xbox live account was banned for a day and my mom is sick my favorite video Harel universe where people drink this bartender mini me beans sorry babe now go ahead start with beans countries whose current leader cracked themselves at mcdonalds in 1997 versus countries whose current leader - none look at that big red country see that one you betcha she did bruh my daughter just sent this message to the family group chat she surely deleted it but it stayed to my device automatically does it mean he seems to be an apple but I'm worried that has anti-christian undertones are there any other parents finding strange images on their children's phones please help what is bra I have super a huge private part man this is a real amazing story hey sexy send me a pic of your hair what did you put hair and makeup over my photo I want to talk to you anymore good Lisbon Congrats on coming out Queen no light Liz no that's not I is that the far quadratic formula I love that that's my favorite kind of math blah blah climate change spring back to five-dollar footlong that's all I'm doing this for that's my campaign hey stop doing push-ups without skin wrong don't nope stop make your high last for 8 days of this bong menorah my favorite this is Hanukkah is all about why I haven't been shaken up but lately well Cajun tell us all about it I'm sure there's a good reason 10 things non-gamers should never say to a gamer you can't believe number 1 it's calling them a noob Pizza Hut box challenge 5,000 calories sonic 100 mozzarella stick challenge diabetes and kidney failure it's time to quit my life is crashing down Breakfasts from around the world united states bacon and eggs Great Britain beams and sadness Japan a gallon of paint Germany a towel dipped in mayonnaise Norway the crushed-up bones of their enemies and Peru a 1998 Ford Focus breakfasts from around the world male circumcision cut vs. uncut enough said next 91 year old grandma gets his Pokemon names I'll call him a hammer that's his name now dude I freaking hate Katie from horton hears a ho stupid waste of oxygen the money all the money I would pay the witness of being slowly crushing the hydraulic press or and a garbage compactor screaming are tiny lungs out and she's compressed to a stupid cube great movie though is that the rootin tootin Putin all Adam hmm are you a communist how to cook a turkey by Evan first go to Target next to cheese then cook microwave cook it for degrees for 4 minutes in serve with sushi thanks Evan oh no I never cheated on you I love you babe I didn't mean to send that it's okay it is I Michael Jackson don't read my last name which early bronze are you thinking about ordering today the worm I'm getting I know you don't serve worms it's just a joke well good joke chip thank you one star I don't like the title like this is a great movie nah but why is it called frozen they should have called it cold or something thaw masturbation Osama bin Laden believed that masturbation was justifiable in extreme cases well that's why he's gone you what are you mean lady I'm your worst nightmare a pumpkin with a gun I saw your dreams me fat loser 19.99 I liked being named fat loser even more than the other 100 Jake Paul do jellyfish have sex that coochie shocked me ah happy Veterans Day all the brave men and women have dedicated the last Super Girl raising country uh-huh we're deeply grateful for your courage of sacrifice and we need to celebrate you daily ah ha ha that's that's how I've imagined Jake Paul sweet talks in real life the power of reading the book shines in your eyes and then you just no no yes yeah headlights now so dumb the stuffs dumb it's stupid terrible service we waited for more than 10 minutes to be served no meet-and-greet no water or anything but we just got looked at ignored a place needs to get better what spots from the owner red stick paid my respects in the ex memorial today on job paid respect is that Depot who do we got Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam run him Sam Halloween is coming order here you can't scare me our ketchup Oatley why is the Chipotle in Harry Potter text that's interesting water Dasani 99 cents it's a new condition it's an adult only okay how do I buy a child I mean you can just go to Walmart pick one up I'm Adrian I know all the facts to high on the bus who fatty fat comedian Dylan does funny fatty fat comedian Dylan does funny thanks fatty fat comedian please stop calling me you're all sitting my butt stop it I'm threatened you know stop sorry son the office marathon tonight now I'll feel like watching the office tonight oh you're adopted hey what is that for hi I'm in college dad I gotta study what do you mean no madaba just gonna watch you tell me real fact number 38 fish cough do they know would you trade it for a riding mower you can pick it up in League City hello if I understand correctly you would like to trade our riding mower for a $19,000 car and we will have to come pick up the mower yes is it made of gold now it's red No Deal I'm sorry oh snap there's no one better than fan us though Ashley Mandy for sophomore president and vice god of first publication how to be polite and show respect and the old days of feudal Japan a samurai warrior would shout your turn if you flash content but you have no Flash plugin installed that's what they yelled okay good enough flash was back in the feudal Japan days the world of creator Yahweh Jesus is not going to take the wheel until you stop letting Satan uber drive you around God got it uber doesn't was Miley Cyrus born four years ago when a free iPad 2 for answer him yes arrested for city killed for dreaming hated for achieving divorced for fish and horse I got divorced I got fish to catch true Fred Flintstone hits his wife good Fred no I wish to be irresistible to men now your resistible your fish processional animal portrait framed inside I am a professional jaw person this has been my hobby ever since Franklin order now and get yours ready in time for Christmas collection only take a look at that spooky little guy looks just like of 99.99 in other games level 15 you level 16 friend and then you nine cents in immortal origin level 100 you level 99 friend this is a vertical Idol RPG I hate you dad you go low Hicks I love you dad reverse psychology works every time I am hangry I eat hot dog lise giant bird I need hot dog did you know whoa I just saw a spider I didn't know that Thanks very cool a fit bite okay chicken yes somebody's making I don't get why somebody's our County heaven somebody's just aren't funny like these just don't belong you just don't belong at all a kid born in 2005 is now 20 years old let that sink how the [ __ ] I was born in 1998 and I'm turning 19 this year that's your personal problem not his pokeymon fact health and safety if you make your pets fight in real life you'll be arrested so just keep yourself safe bro are you still wanna ponch for $35 in its hand-knitted I'll take it I'll take your entire stock do you poop enough hey you there watching have you been sitting down and feeling a problem in your bowels maybe you're not pooping enough try some prunes maybe a suppository something that's gonna make it all that poop who come right now put something in and let it all come out welcome star review Mia Khalifa hasn't achieved four times and I'm so happy about it I had to write in an impact font with a stroke effect pro-gamer saved from abortion really sick but should he have been is this a good video recommendation for you help us improve you too of course it is inspire senticles pregnant Elian sex of course it's a good video recommendation I loved it thanks pyro this ho got roaches in a crib episode 3 the finale listen I'll buy it I want to read it Quan Mills let me read this saga it's got four and a half stars in this finale of this soap got riches in their crib many questions remain unanswered but more importantly Lamia survived I don't know raw video the president takes set and that's all we get to know what does he take what does he take the problem with human rights well tell me about a cut philosophy you cook you trembling cuckold press why to launch Diddy Kong's cartwheel tank thanks Salman Rushdie the samurai is that a samurai I think that's a crusader chief chief methinks that's a crusader but that's a sad look at kitty he did not want to take that photo left-wing vs. right-wing it's all but going back to sands and undertale kids these days oh you lost your iphone boohoo try sitting on your knees for two hours scraping off asbestos I'm Ted I'm a talking BAM funny I didn't mean to go for Ted's throat like that he didn't deserve that rant a bone hosted right he posted this and Christian singles living for Jesus I want to get married so I can have sex ASAP anyone interested please DM what is your name not guilty what I highly gali changed oh okay so you are not guilty I see you later much money danced at a court Bobby shmurda spree baby 200 IQ day we love Bobby screw Halloween I'll show y'all real monster it better be sugar-free Zoomer College is a scam thanks Jase lat appreciate that does he know that you're using J slash his likeness i oh he's a businessman how much money you paying out what's the royalties for this likeness do you have smelly feet let me see your feet hi and then a full-body nude frontal photo just so you know he's that kind of guy oh my God my du built like shanti dora the explorer' dudes just take it a snooze but at what cost she's waving at you how are you waving it I'm sorry it's okay just don't do it again I take one it's bags of sprite you thirsty have a sprite hey is this the stop taking things literally course yes please take a seat oh sure thing no I did it again is a wank of biscuit or ice cream all right everyone's suggesting I have a wing what is the meaning of a wank you know my first language is French my wife and kids aren't around what do you people think should I do Italian yes $900 for a Ford Mustang GT premium convertible it's got a little bit of tree damage to buy that way mean we cut a tree down and leaned it on the GT $900 take it or leave it how many five year olds could you fight in 18 other dogs I could fight every [ __ ] bring me a whole class and I'll just wipe them all out with precision don't lose your way man yes Maya we before they could Japan into the one World War two I'm gonna onion that hey look it's a spinal plush whoa dang it came out really good you have opposable skeleton yeah how'd you do that is it wire how'd you do it my childre see what doll said a bad word don't buy I am Walter if it's saying bad words I won't pick up and thanks for the heads up chief you did a good service for our people and they'll do it for our slash County heaven if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK if you want to see more of your friend Damian I stream live on twitch at twitch.tv ford slash Damion Lee live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,274,705

Rating: 4.9415536 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/comedyheaven, comedyheaven, comedyheaven emkay, emkay comedyheaven, r/comedyheaven emkay, r/comedycemetery, r/comedycemetery emkay, comedycemetery emkay, emkay comedycemetery, gilbert, surreal humour, so bad it's good, bonehurtingjuice

Id: z2DXRXSMFqM

Length: 13min 21sec (801 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 28 2020