r/Confession I Caused a UFO Scare With This Simple Life Hack!

welcome to our slash confession where people reveal their deepest darkest secrets our next reddit post is from kasama herm this was back in let me think maybe 1997 I was 38 and my daughter was 18 and she was dating Harry who was 24 I was an alcoholic and dabbled in other drugs mostly cocaine I was not a good person let alone mother now like I was abusive to my daughter or anything but I was generally inattentive and cared more about my alcohol and drugs than her especially in her teen years I'm 14 years sober now I disapproved of my daughter dating Harry but I never told her why he would flirt with me constantly and the age difference also creeped me out also he was an alcoholic and drug user just like me she broke up with him over his alcoholism soon after she moved away not too far but regardless she didn't live with me anymore Harry kept calling me and asking if we wanted to get drinks I turned him down but then one day he said he had a bunch of coke and I couldn't resist he came over we did the coke and we ended up passionately hugging he was a very good-looking guy he looked a lot like that ridiculous 80s Justin Bieber picture that was on the front page of Reddit today that's actually what made me think about him for the next few months maybe like three to four months he would sometimes come over and we would passionately hug and do drugs and get drunk together any drug addict knows what that's like to have a drug buddy addict buddy in that way then I got pregnant I knew it was by him I had passionately hugged him without a condom a few times stupidly I never told him I was pregnant and I wouldn't got the abortion and kept it a secret anyways I stopped seeing him after that it was too weird I also got sober for like four months before relapsing fast forward two years and my daughter contacts me and tells me that she got back with Harry and that he's fully sober I was mortified honestly he was gonna tell her that we slept together and she's gonna hate me for life they came over one day and said hi and when my daughter was gone Harry told me that there's no reason to tell her about what happened I agreed it's been 16 years of marriage on their part they have a kid together here we got cancer then beat it I got sober that's basically it I don't see them very often they live in Texas and I live on the East Coast but whenever I do there's always that tension between me and Harry it's literally the first thing that comes to either of our minds I can just tell not like romantic tension like why did we have to do that what the f is wrong with us kind of tension I think about this often especially when I see my grandson I always think that could have been my son if things had gone differently but wow what a disaster that would have been if I decided to keep that child so first of all what the hell did I just read and second of all what the hell did I just read that story is insane our next reddit post is from crazed archivists I watched my students beating their classmate and I ignored it I'm a history teacher and in my class of 12 to 13 year olds there's this little prick that always makes a lot of noise keeps touching and messing with other kids and employees and makes mean racist jokes about everyone he's constantly trying to make my life and the life of his classmates hell thinking he's funny or something in a nutshell he's a bully yesterday he destroyed his group project causing everyone in his group to fail although I'm giving more time for the rest of his group to remake all their lost work I already tried calling his mom and the woman defends her precious son saying he would never do such bad things he's such a sweetie today I was walking to the teachers room to grab my coffee and I saw the kid being dragged to a corner I knew what was going on the moment I saw it and I just ignored what I saw and kept going on my way the kid got roughed up and had to go home early while every soul in the classroom is silent about the suspects but I believe that everyone in the class knew about this for some time now I personally feel no remorse nor do I plan to advance our help in the investigation I just pretended nothing happened to gave my lecture as always our next reddit post is from Paseka I run a fake restaurant on a delivery app I registered a company bought all the takeaway boxes from Amazon on signed up for a few delivery apps made a few social media accounts and printed leaflets that I drop in mailboxes I resell microwave meals on some meals I had something to make them look better like cheese so far it's at around 200 pounds a day in revenue nobody suspects a thing soon someone will come for a hygiene inspection but I'll pass that check without any problems it's not illegal to operate out of your own kitchen should I feel bad I feel kind of proud to be fair and free as a bird from the nine-to-five life so I did the math on this post and it's not exactly clear Opie works on the weekend but if he does and this is a full 365 day operation then Opie makes about 73,000 dollars in revenue a year not too bad for selling microwave meals our next reddit post is from hostile carrot I added Tabasco to Wendy's chili and uses to get second place in a chili cook-off the title basically says it all this wasn't a professionally organized competition there was some BMX event with a couple hundred people and they always have a chili cook-off I'm not much for cooking so I thought it would be pointing to throw a bunch of Wendy's chili in a crock pot and see if anyone noticed they didn't I've been a vegetarian for roughly 12 years so this was a long time ago you know it really makes you wonder did the first-place prize go to Wendy's chili without Tabasco sauce our next reddit post is from anthro stead a couple years out of college I worked as an analyst at a pretty small private equity firm the CEO was one of the biggest buttholes I've ever met he was fairly young in his 40s a multi-millionaire and the type of guy driven solely by money with Xero business ethics he'd do anything to get the upper hand in a deal regardless of who it screws over contractors employees I even saw him seriously screw over a longtime family friend of his without any remorse anyway aside from my analyst role is it was a really small business only about 20 people in the office and then a bunch of people working remote I also happen to be one of the only semi technology literate people in the company so like so many of my generation I became the de facto millennial office computer despite my lack of qualifications I got put in charge of handling pretty much anything minor tech related setting up servers fixing laptop issues answering how do I convert this to PDF questions even basic network security they thought I was some sort of computer genius but really I was just mostly winging it googling pretty much everything but eventually I got legitimately pretty good at all the tech stuff they gave me bigger tasks like planning all the computer systems for their own businesses and supervising installs I didn't get paid extra for any of this mind you after a couple of years of serious BS working there I was pretty worn out I wasn't progressing I hated working for captain douchebag he treated everyone like garbage I was pulling 12 to 14-hour days with no overtime or performance bonus and they weren't paying me nearly what they should have I also hated being the tech guy and was depressed basically living in a cubicle so I decided I full-on had enough of the 9 to 8 life working for buttholes and I would start my own consulting business working for myself however instead of quitting right away I figured it would be smart to first build up my client base on this side while I was still getting a steady paycheck so that's what I did I launched my company and landed my first clients as the workload increased I slowly started spending more and more time working on my side business while at my office job at first I was pretty low-key about it but eventually it was blatant as it was a super small company I was the only one who knew how to handle a lot of the important tasks and operate some key internal systems it was easy for me to tell my boss a project was taking a whole week to complete when I actually finished in 10 minutes pretty soon I was spending 80 percent of my day working on my own stuff in the office I'd even take calls for my side business clients at my desk the rest of the time I was usually [ __ ] around on reddit or something of course we had systems in place to monitor network activity but I was the person in charge of monitoring it this continued for a while as my own business ramped up I cared less and less about the office job and since I hated waking up early I began rolling into work late at first it was only 30 minutes or so then it progressed to an hour when my boss didn't reprimand me it became clear how much they needed me there I took full advantage of this before long I was arriving around noon working for a couple hours then hitting home my coworkers weren't happy but I helped them with all their tech problems and they hated the company too so they kept their mouth shut about it my boss eventually said something to me about it but I just came in on time the next few days and then went back to coming in whenever I wanted after more than two months of coming in four to five hours late and working on my side business in full view of my buthole boss I couldn't believe I wasn't fired yet I deserved it and felt it was inevitable on a hunch I decided to do a little investigative work as I was the tech guy I also had full access to the company email server so I logged into the CEOs personal email account and search for my name low and behold there was a recent email thread between him my direct boss and some other team members with my name in the subject line obviously I open it they're discussing my recent performance issues the last email in the chain basically said if nobody has any objections I'll be terminating him at the end of the week this was two days from then I wasn't surprised but I decided there was no way I was going to let these buttholes fire me although I didn't give a flip about that job I didn't want to have a termination on my work history I also wanted to keep getting paid for a while longer of course I couldn't let him know I actually knew I was getting canned so I formulated a plan to perform a little inception reverse psychology mine screw on the CEO the next day one day before they plan to fire me I requested a meeting with him to discuss my current performance in that meeting i sat down and he asked me what I wanted to talk about so I told him look I know I've been a sucky employee lately I'm sure you've noticed correct me if I'm wrong but I've been kind of getting the feeling you guys are planning to let me go soon when I said that the shocked look on his face was priceless he must have thought I was psyched to work that out on my own the day before it was going to happen I remember him just saying something like uh I continued while he sat flabbergasted so I'll be honest with you my heart isn't in this job anymore as you know I'm an entrepreneur at heart which I'm sure you can relate to I want to start my own company however as you're aware I have a lot of responsibilities here that nobody else can do I didn't proceeded to list all the things I did and projects I was working on I could see it on his face when the realization sunk in of how screwed he'd be if I left suddenly I said so here's what I propose you don't fire me I don't quit I keep working here for a month finish my current projects and train whoever you want on everything I'm in charge of after a month is up I'll continue to come in once per week until it's complete after that if you still need me you can pay me on an hourly project-by-project basis I intentionally mentioned the possibility of me quitting so he could feel like he won the negotiation even though I technically had him by the balls he paused to think for a minute then said something along the lines of okay you have a deal so not only did I get myself unfired I actually turned the company into a paying client during that month I continued doing pretty much whatever I wanted since I had an expiration date while training my replacement as promised after the month was up they hit me up regularly for remote tasks work I charged him triple what I was earning while working there and barely had to deal with the CEO when my client base was big enough I dropped them for good after all that the CEO still calls me up for advice and questions nearly three years later these days I just blow them off saying sorry I'm too busy Opie I can't figure out why you posted this on our / confession this sounds more like our / Pro revenge if you ask me that CEO deserved every single bit of this they basically stole from you by not paying for your hours and expertise so as far as I'm concerned you were just taking back what was owed to you our next reddit post is from that's boots one college summer break eight years ago my friends and I were bored we remembered a demonstration from a high school science class of a solar balloon this was just a really thin plastic bag you'd fill with air seal and then set out in the Sun the Sun would heat the air in the black bag and the bag would become buoyant and float we had the idea to find the cheapest and thinnest plastic trash bags available and combine a bunch of them to make a huge balloon we spent a few days driving around to Walmart's and dollar stores trying different brands to find the thinnest possible plastic bags and thinnest tape which would work the best finally we took a number of them cut off the bottom ants and tape them together into a huge balloon which we filled up with a leaf blower and then tied the ends after sitting out in the Sun for a half hour or so we done it we had to mess around with how the tape was sealing the bags to use as little of it as possible as the weight of the tape added up and made the balloon harder to float shortly after this the balloon got away from us this was disappointing but we made another one and got funny looks from cars driving by and were entertained for a bit shortly after that this new balloon menace to my smacking into a tree and getting popped oh well mission success a few years later I happened to cross this news article the balloon that got away had apparently blown a town over and caused a big UFO panic people were calling 911 the police and local radio stations about it our boredom unintentionally created a UFO panic in central New Jersey I moved out of the area but when I got together with my friend we always bring this up and have a good laugh down in the comments people were investigating the story and they tracked down an actual video that was shot of this trash bag flying over the city and I'm gonna be honest it does look kind of creepy it looks like this maybe 30 foot long black snake is slithering through the sky and to be honest it is kind of unsettling that was our / confession and if you like this video then subscribe to my channel because I put on new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 359,285

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, confessions, confession, r/confession, r/confessions

Id: u6SA9UA7gEc

Length: 15min 10sec (910 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2020