r/Choosingbeggars I Need a Boyfriend! You Must Be RICH! 🤑🤑🤑 puppybloopers

welcome to our slash choosing beggars where free is way too expensive email subject i would like to have a free commission hello op i saw you were taking commissions and i would like to order an icon however i am not willing to pay money as i don't see it as a necessary job i'll send you a picture of myself for reference as you stated in your rules a simple background of the color yellow will do i expect to hear back from you asap and then opie replied no heart emoji ps artists deserve to be paid so please kindly go at yourself post it on a 26 year old girl's tinder profile about me like sarcasm and a sense of humor copy is my best friend not afraid to talk politics on a first date about you tolerates my sarcasm and humor doesn't take himself too seriously enjoys a healthy debate p.s i do love to be spoiled with attention and gifts and then she includes a link to her amazon wishlist and this wishlist is insane we've got luggage worth 330 bucks speakers worth hundred dollars another speaker worth five hundred and fifty dollars and get this a camera bundle worth four thousand five hundred dollars maybe the reason why she wants people to buy her three hundred and thirty dollars worth of luggage is to carry around all the stuff that she thinks people are gonna buy for her a tweet from the official fall guys account lots of people are emailing us asking us for ps4 review codes the game is free on ps plus this month and you need ps plus in order to play the game codes aren't needed lol if people are begging to get something for free that's already free then does that make them choosing beggars or just stupid beckers so i'm a tattoo artist and i have been for 17 years i'm highly regarded in my area this is just to say that i know my business anyway as part of an event my shop was participating in i personally held a cover-up contest i took submissions of sucky tattoos and the winner would get a free cover up there were a lot of good potential winners ex-wives names party tattoos from their teens and scarred indecipherable messes but the winner was a gentleman who sheepishly approached me and lifted up his shirt to reveal a nine inch by nine inch line work swastika on his ribs i'm embarrassed to go to the beach he said i don't want my kids exposed to this stuff anymore he said i agreed it would make a great portfolio piece for me this was a challenging cover-up due to the size and the long black straight lines we met after the event and discussed our plan he wanted vikings cool i thought i love vikings and i consider myself a pagan though i should have known better in a sense i'm very much a non-racist pagan but there's definitely a bunch of racists out there and covering a swastika with a common racist dog whistle squeaked me a little wrong anyway it's better to have a sweet viking ship than a massive symbol of hate and misery so i set about designing and for a little bit of context here for those of you who don't know vikings aren't inherently racist but for whatever reason some white supremacists use vikings as a symbol for their racism i hid the swastika lines in the boards of a ship dark waves the masked beams geometric sail patterns the vikings on board were hail and hearty and proudly out for the pillage this would make a hell of a before and after and i was ready to go so i'm booked for months and it was half a year from consultation to appointments tomorrow was our scheduled date he called today i'm relating this second hand as our poor receptionist had to handle the man herself but essentially i don't want to cover the swastika anymore i'm proud of it i want you to use your design in and around it and make it badass the dude wanted me to pimp his swastika we turn down racist stuff anytime it comes up which honestly isn't often at all so for a multitude of reasons i was not going to do that we explained that the contest was to fix the mistakes of your past not make them awesome i'm not gonna put your shiny new swastika in my freaking portfolio way to miss the entire point of the contest and take the win from someone who actually wanted to move on from their mistakes anyway the dude got all indignant about losing his win and losing a tattoo worth easily at least 900 bucks we told him to pound sand he says he's gonna tell his buddies at the military school what kind of shop we are one we're a shop that doesn't put up with racist garbage two i don't want to work with anyone he considers a buddy three i am booked for a half a year you and your handful of inbred trash friends ain't gonna make a lick of difference to my bottom line 4. i was in the army at meps they strip you naked and check for offensive tattoos there's no way he was in the military with a 9 inch swastika wow who could have guessed that the racist piece of garbage would turn out to be a sucky human being i did not see that one coming selling carving phone mount for five dollars is this still available yes two dollars no thanks three i'm not into bargaining sorry oh you know what in amazon it's brand new for four dollars and fifty cents great go buy it there haha okay sorry i was just kidding i don't know man is it spoiled and entitled to me to say in 2020 why haggle over two dollars this next post comes from an 18 year old girl's tinder profile i'm on disability from the government i'm 4 foot 11 plus sized with 3 kids at 18. currently homeless it's preferred if you have a home jesus first no passionate hugging until marriage men only serious inquiries only no face pictures until text must make good money this post is so insane that i'm pretty much convinced that this has to be satire i think this lady made this account just as like an insane joke or at least i hope she did because someone can't really be this entitled right hey there i found your profile online and you may be just what i'm looking for my daughter blank is turning 11 on the 31st of august we're having a sleepover in the garden for seven girls organized by blank who are providing a tp and theming the party we're shooting a video for socials and have a photographer attending too we're providing all companies involved with tags in our social posts which will get plenty of coverage and professional photos from the event the thing is we haven't got a cake yet is this something you'd be interested in hiya sure please let me know the following one portions two delivery postcode three budget would you mind telling me how you found us online i notice you're not a follower so i would love to know i found you by a google search your cakes look fantastic one the portions we're looking for is 20 to 25 portions two the postcode is blank three i was hoping for a freebie as we'll provide some social content for you as well as posting on our channels plus provide you with professional photos happy to discuss thank you my cakes are indeed fantastic we're named by vogue evening standard etc as the best in london i'm great to hear you found us on google a little more of a search would have led you to this blog post i did about freebies and working for exposure i hate the word freebie as much as i hate the word moist take care so down in the comments someone posted a link to op's blog post about getting asked for free cakes all the time and let me tell you it is a treasure trove of choosing beggars and to give credit where credit is due the cake shop is ange's day sucra in london hello how are you i'm the pr manager at the fashion brand called in the style we're hosting our huge showbiz party on thursday the 18th of may to celebrate our summer launches including our collection was charlotte crosby and we're looking to get a bespoke birthday cake created for her to be given to her as a surprise at the event and would love to see if this is something you may be interested in helping us with we'd be able to offer social media mentions on our channels with over 1.4 million followers in return and also a tweet from charlotte's account which has over 3 million followers these guys have 1.4 million followers and speaking as someone who has 1.7 if you have 1.4 million followers then you can afford to buy your own freaking cake hello i love your emoji cake and would love love love to get it for my boy for his birthday this coming weekend it needs to feed approximately 20 guests however i just can't afford it and rather than just giving up and walking away with a sad face i wondered if it were at all worth being a bit cheeky and asking if there's anything you can do i'm sorry to ask and i know what it's like but the only thing that i can offer as a potential thank you is the fact that the creative director of itv and the producer of shine productions will be at the dinner and thus will experience your cake and it might just be a good thing from that point of view and to this opie responds hi choosing beggar your email upset me even if you didn't intend for it to it upset me because i too have expensive tastes and i could never go to alexander mcqueen for a handbag i really won but couldn't afford and ask for it free or discounted in exchange for a thank you of potentially carrying it in front of my vip friends ones with extremely deep pockets and similar expensive tastes i can't be anything but blunt but that's how i've translated your request i hope you can see my point of view in any case we're fully booked for your dates hi there we're looking for a birthday cake for sarah alto's birthday she was the runner-up of last year's x-factor and she's celebrating this wednesday there will be press at the event and it'll be a big celebration is there a possibility to get the cake free of charge and of course we'll credit any photos to peggy portion and here's where opie writes a clarification in the blog post her name is not peggy portion so i'm guessing what happened is that this choosing beggar wrote this same message to another cake seller and her name was peggy portion and then they just copied and pasted this exact same message and sent it out to multiple cake sellers but they forgot to change the name we are currently producing the fourth series of through the keyhole on itb on saturday nights hosted by keith lemon we're recording 8 shows between monday the 11th and friday the 29th and i'm looking for brands eager to get their products in the hands of our celebrity guests gifts will be placed into our guest dressing rooms and we will have 12 celebrities a day some of our guests from previous series include jonathan ross mel b emma button alex james ozzie and sharon osbourne jimmy carr alan carr patty mcginnis holly willoughby and finn cotton please contact us if you're interested in donating any gifts to our through the keyhole goodie bags just to confirm we are not looking for products to be placed within the show but to be sent as gifts for our celebrity guests in terms of coverage unfortunately we are unable to directly promote or publicize brands through the show or via our website or social networks please do let me know if you require any further information on that note if there are any brands or businesses out there who want to work with me r slash then please send me your stuff but like i'm not gonna talk about them on my youtube channel or post about them on any of my social media accounts no i'm just gonna use them for free in private and not talk about them at all and opie responds with a similar message wow this sounds like an amazing opportunity who doesn't love free food sadly if exposure didn't pay our bills non-exposure certainly won't so we will have to respectfully decline if someone else you've blanket email doesn't bite on this amazing opportunity to feed free food to a celebrity for non-exposure i can recommend trying to get an unpaid intern to try this free recipe and then op includes a link to a cupcake recipe apologies for any disappointment and the passive aggressive tone but i hope to never hear from you again hey so i just got an idea so since this cake place was getting trashed on by karen's i decided to even the score a bit review 5 out of 5 stars your cakes look delicious that was our slash choosing beggars and this is r puppy bloopers today's subreddit is our slash june dog can i help you yeah yeah i'm trying to record my intro puppy you want to be in the intro too if you keep it up i can put you in the outro yes can i help what do you need use your words you hungry you want to go on walks or is it playtime it says play time play time oh my god dawg calm down all right listen i'm almost done with my intro you just gotta let me finish the intro and then i can play what do you say deal no i just i have to say one sentence and i'm done with my intro that's all i got to do you can't give me one sentence puppy dog

Channel: rSlash

Views: 732,669

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: tHlRjSrQ6b4

Length: 14min 32sec (872 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 12 2020