r/Maliciouscompliance "OBEY ME" "It'll Cost You Thousands, But Sure!"

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a stupid it manager gets himself fired our next reddit post is from stressfart a few years ago at my previous job i was a senior technician and a managed service provider of it services we were a small company and we were often yes men to just about anybody who would offer us money to come fix their problems the owner of our company wouldn't push back against clients who made crazy demands were overly cheap or were just very disrespectful this led to us oftentimes doing tasks that were outside of our normal scope at cost and a lot of times being cussed out for no good reason one of the programs we supported was microsoft 365 which obviously is very commonly used for email services one of our clients was a decently sized dental company they had about 10 locations and were growing customers loved them and we often took pleasure going on site because it was heaven dealing with such polite people in contrast to what we had to deal with with most of our time otherwise they would even buy us lunch if we happened to be on site during friday lunch time it was great they used microsoft 365 services which was total overkill they paid 20 dollars per user per month when most employees barely even checked email let alone made an excel document they wouldn't take a recommendation to use essentials at five dollars per user instead also they had a decently high turnover rate because it was a college type town their student employees would come and go the i.t director of this company who was pretty bad at his job called us one day cussing because there were a bunch of mailboxes that weren't licensed we tried to explain that these were shared mailboxes from employees who had left doing so allows us to remove the license of the mailbox while keeping all the mail intact and very easily accessible if we need to delegate access to someone who needs to review you basically get to archive the mailbox for free he barely even let us speak and the tech who was on the phone with him was so flustered so i took over the call using my best well-seasoned customer service charm i tried to explain the situation to him to no avail they had 180 unused email accounts left over from the employees who had quit and he wanted them all converted to premium email accounts at 20 bucks per month each to be clear that's thousand six hundred dollars in reoccurring monthly fees to turn on email accounts for employees who no longer work there he resorted to personally insulting me telling me that i'm just a tech who got promoted too fast and i should try a four-year school next time and he demanded that it get done right away with no specifics on how it gets done bless your heart man okay we'll do it luckily we record the calls also i should point out that this company has a policy that we can't use powershell which for those who don't know is a time saving programming tool i beg them repeatedly to let us use powershell in the past to no avail so we ordered pizza for the office and got to work we converted every last email to a premium account and licensed them it was a long but fun night of work a month or so rolls by and our accountants and dollar invoices to our customers the dentist it guy called us three minutes after he received his invoice and he had blown a gasket he finally saw the bill for the additional 180 email licenses plus taxes and fees he was threatening to sue me and my two co-workers if we didn't fix it one redeeming quality about our total pushover owner is that he did not take kylie to someone insulting his workers directly he took it personally because he interviewed everyone himself so we begged him to listen to the recorded call and he did so he did not like what he heard on that phone call he didn't give in to his demands and he even added a little razzle dazzle that we hadn't seen before he pointed out that since it was written policy not to use powershell we should have billed the request as a project since they demanded to be done in such a short time and it was not a normal support request that means that until they paid us for both of these projects we wouldn't touch their broken emails our project rate was a hundred and twenty five dollars an hour for junior tax and 175 for senior techs altogether it was going to be about 12 hours of pay all at the senior rate this it didn't know that the owner of his company and the owner of my company were friends for nearly two decades they would often play golf together we got the owners of both companies to come to our office and before they even said hello we played the full phone call for each of these owners the owner of the dental company was absolutely shocked at what he heard the i.t idiot was pale white as he sat there and didn't move a muscle the owner apologized profusely to the tax and it seemed like he was almost in tears he wrote a check to pay for our invoice and we agreed to undo the work for free because he was a really good client of ours and was always nice the owner gave us each 100 gift cards the next week and bought us lunch in our own office a few times all out of his own pocket the it idiot was fired as soon as the owner got back to the office and the owner entrusted us to fix his email systems the owner listened to every recommendation of ours including reducing the license type for the majority of their workers he seemed confused as to why he ever had premium email accounts in the first place that is the one company i truly miss at my last job he was such a good client i feel like i give this advice a lot but i'm gonna give it again because apparently people don't listen never mess with the it guys our next credit post is from sometimes smarmy i recently quit my job at a convenience store it was my last day on the job just minutes before the end of my shift i notice a long line and i jump on the register to help two customers come to the register together and one asks for cigars company policy and state law requires that i id both customers i turn to grab the cigars after asking to see the id from both and one of the customers leaves the store unfortunately in this scenario i can't finalize the sale until i see id from both customers even if one leaves i tell the customer this and he argues with me my manager is on the register right next to me so i explained to the guy that no i need to see the id or i can't sell either customer age restricted items it's now 1002 and my shift officially ended at 10 o'clock though we're allowed to and encouraged to stay on the clock when there's a rush the customer claims that he doesn't know the other guy even though it was clear that they were together annoyed but just wanting to end this interaction i say whatever and i set up the terminal to take his card he puts his card in and the reader asks is this amount correct or something of that nature and the customer hits no a lot of customers do this they don't read the screen and they think that it's asking if they want cash back but if they hit no it cancels a transaction usually we would just reset it walking them through it to make sure they hit the right button but then i think what's gonna happen it's my last day i'm supposed to be clocked out i don't care about this job and company policy prohibits managers from giving references anyways i say okay you hit no so goodnight and i put the cigars back and i clock out after clocking out i mentioned it to the manager who says the customer looked confused for a minute and then just gave up and left dumbfounded our next credit post is from semituneup my dad is a hard worker this happened about 15 years ago he worked for a company that fixed and rented heavy equipment backhoes scissor lifts steamrollers forklifts etc his boss the ceo of the company whom he reported to directly was a middle-aged italian guy whose grasp of english was tenuous at best he understood what people were saying but he had trouble communicating his own intentions back clearly on the other hand my dad had zero grasp of italian but spoke perfect english and my dad was a solid mechanic who would go on to make this machine bae operate like a well-oiled machine under my dad's supervision things got done and even though he didn't always understand what the boss wanted him to do he would just focus on the reason why he was hired manage the repair bay hire new mechanics train new hires and deal with on-call repairs well bossman gets it in his head that my dad is going to replace him as the ceo of the company because my dad is much better liked speaks perfect english in an english-speaking country and has basically all the apartment heads coming to him for help even though technically my dad is only in charge of the repair bay and so the boss calls my dad into the office chews him out and manages to communicate that he's being fired for poor work performance my dad just smiles shakes the guy's hand and leaves and thanks to the boss's less than firm grasp on both the english language and business law the boss guy just sent him on his way with his last paycheck and nothing else so my dad started his own business in the heavy equipment mechanic markets and after telling all of his old work buddies about the situation he suddenly got a bunch of new hires and suddenly his old workplace had a lot of vacancies that the boss had no idea how to fill because he had just fired the guy that he'd hired to hire and train new employees he went out of business six months later sometimes my dad drives past where the old shop was and when he does he just laughs and laughs can't confirm i got fired from my last job and now that i'm a pro youtuber every time i drive by that office it puts a smile on my face our next credit post is from lexington i work at a very popular pizza chain well today my manager told me that instead of not answering the phone before we open i now have to answer the phone and put in their order as a timed order i also have to tell the customers that the order won't be ready until 11. i guess my manager is after more sales i don't know cue malicious compliance and this morning we happened to get a lot of calls by 10 45 i already had 10 orders and that was also the time when the first customer showed up well see the issue here is that according to company policy we can't unlock the doors until 11. we are allowed to send deliveries out early but we can't open carryout early well as you can imagine this customer became pissed when i told them they have to wait until 11 before i could serve them due to company policy well the cherry on top is that my manager heard the commotion and decided to ignore the rule well in comes my boss's boss who trains and manages the managers he sees what my boss is doing and my boss immediately gets in trouble after my boss's boss scolded my boss for a bit my boss pulled me aside and said that we're no longer taking orders early nor are we allowing customers to enter the store early our next ready post is from lin 7. i once hosted an event in a bar it was kind of a celebration for police trainees new recruits that kind of thing anyway as i was busy slaving away pouring drinks etc this one woman who was absolutely full of herself was watching me pour measures for another customer making comments about the amount of ice in the drinks how i was using the wrong glass i wasn't and other obnoxious comments about how she was waiting to be served and she was here first she wasn't i was pouring some spirits i reached the end of the bottle as i was pouring the whiskey and there was a tiny drop left so i just poured those few extra milliliters into the glass which you shouldn't really do but who cares right anyway this woman gets up in my face about how it's technically illegal to pour extra measures and that the law is the law and that i should follow the laws of the letter i tried to brush it off and ignore her and carried on serving other customers but there she was commenting on pretty much everything that i was doing and as everyone who has worked in customer service will tell you you know how annoying it is to have everything scrutinized and commented on as though you're nothing but a useless piece of garbage so it comes to be her turn and she asked for an alcoholic beverage so using my limited powers i ask her for her id she goes bright red in the face and stutters something about being old enough to be a cop i tell her sorry if you don't have id i can't legally serve you the law is the law after all lo and behold she didn't have id and had to settle for a lemonade op you should have tried to get the other cops to arrest her for trying to purchase alcohol without an id down in the comments we have this toy from cafe saigon i had a cop flash his badge at me when i tried to id him when i worked at a liquor store and he got pissy with me when i didn't accept it like i'm just enforcing the law here dude what's that line that cops always like to use sorry sir i don't write the law i just enforce it our next reddit post is from grab the muffin i was reminiscing after i made a poor nurse shutter after cracking my knuckles at my doctor's appointment it reminded me of a funny story with my mom my mom absolutely loathed whenever i cracked my knuckles around her i can't help myself it's a bad habit and once i crack one knuckle i have to crack all of them she would constantly yell at me to stop she would even tell me that it's bad for me and that it would give me arthritis one day at home i started making my fingers into rice krispie treats snap crackle and pop mom had enough and snapped herself i want you to write a two-page essay about cracking your fingers including about arthritis no more than double space 12 point font and all that i don't want you trying anything funny well of course i'm gonna try to do something funny we wouldn't be here if i didn't so cue malicious compliance i sat at the computer opened google and typed in how cracking your fingers does not cause arthritis it turns out that i was correct i had plenty of sources including one guy who cracked his knuckles regularly on one hand and not at all on the other the uncracked hand got arthritis and the cracked hand did not i did include some truthful things like how it caused a loss of grip but ultimately it was about how it helped prevent arthritis in the long term she took the essay without a word skim did and called it good to my surprise i couldn't believe that i got away with it but i also remembered that my paper got brought up in a conversation in my adult years before cancer claimed my mom what did i tell you about cracking your knuckles i had you write an essay on that and everything you didn't read that essay did you what makes you think that i gave her a smile like a fox in a hen house because i wrote the paper about how cracking knuckles prevents arthritis my mom gives me a surprise pikachu face no you didn't i cited sources in everything you brat the apple doesn't fall far from the tree mom i loved my mom that was our slash malicious compliance and if you like this content check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 425,351

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: bQ8Q7q0BbYk

Length: 15min 29sec (929 seconds)

Published: Thu May 13 2021