r/Choosingbeggars BUY MY THONG FOR $1000!

welcome to r slash choosing beggars where a choosing beggar gets upset because opie didn't sell her a magical sword on this next post op is selling a fridge will you take 60 no if you then cry me a river no thank you girl at least i don't have to draw in my eyebrows the f at least i have a fridge much like the refrigerator that this choosing beggar can't afford to buy that's cold for context on this next post op is asking for someone to build them video game assets not an actual taco shop job posting hiring a voluntary builder and scripter the job i need a builder with experience to help build a taco shop i also need a scripter to script uis drink machines menus handa systems etc this job is voluntary which means no pay whatsoever requirements must have discord must be 13 years or older must have three years of work experience must work fast must understand that the job is voluntary no free models allowed must be 13 years old and have three years of experience dude what my wife and i have had two kids leave the nest recently giving us an extra room in march both my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's useless boyfriend both in their 40s lost their jobs due to the pandemic in april my wife asked me if they could come live with us rent-free until they got back on their feet family helps families so i agreed since moving in my sister-in-law has been great she pitches in and has taken over cooking and cleaning while driving for uber and looking for a full-time job our kids get time with their aunt and even as teenagers they like to spend time with her my wife is happy because she gets a little more free time and since her and her sister-in-law share hobbies they have a great time together so smiles all around right well not so fast her useless boyfriend takes self-quarantining so seriously that he rarely leaves the bedroom in his gaming pc and our mid-level internet just isn't up to the task when other people in the house fire up netflix hulu and xboxes a couple of times a day we can hear him yell from his room can somebody get off the internet lately our other kids have been firing up other devices and streaming more videos out of spite when he does this not that they watched their father do this and thought it was funny mind you i offered to upgrade to faster internet if he paid the difference but he blocked at that idea it isn't his internet so why should he pay besides we can afford it he's right we could afford to upgrade our internet plan but at this point my wife and i are refusing on principle and our kids are actually asking to downgrade to the lowest plan that's right our teenagers want slower internet because of this guy his suffering doesn't end there it seems we're not buying enough organic food and are shopping at costco in our local supermarket chain instead of buying a farm share from a certified organic farm worse still our food contains gluten note that there's no underlying medical reason for his objection which we would understand he just doesn't want gluten but his suffering still isn't over we ask him to smoke outside pot is legal in our state and while i don't have any objections to it my wife is sensitive to smoke our older kids smoked outside with no complaints and i see no reason why he deserves special treatment and of course he isn't looking for a job because he prefers to live off of benefits he knows a cut-off is coming but he would rather wait to see if more benefits are coming i feel bad for my sister-in-law she's always apologizing for his behavior my wife and i are silent on the matter but our teenagers have been telling her how she could do so much better i had to tell our oldest to stop calling him cautionary tale in front of my sister-in-law but i give my kid a silent high-five every time man this guy if you can afford weed you can afford faster internet review 2 out of 5 stars well i lied the hotel was just beautiful however after visiting six times over the years i find out that now that my family has grown they charge for my 19 and 22 year old kids this is the dumbest thing ever as they're adult kids and they don't even want to be there since they use none of the facilities they're out golfing shopping exploring and hiking they're not even occupying space in the facility only in the room with this discrimination i feel it would be better to take your family to another resort unless you have little ones i used to tell people that this hotel was great for all ages well i lied sorry hello members of my upcoming wedding in winter 2020 i hope you all are doing great and getting all of your wedding gifts prepared your cold hard cash and your large housewarming gifts from my fiance and i we really cannot wait to see you all and receive your gifts this december in all seriousness we're asking our guests not to change their attendance because of kovid we've had a handful of guests decide not to attend our wedding because of covet fears this is dangerous because we have a 20 thousand dollar monetary goal minimum ladies and gentlemen most of this money will help cover the cost of this amazing wedding and goes right back to you this wedding is for you think of all the food drinks and fun you'll have heaven forbid if y'all are generous will actually get to book our european tour ideally y'all will donate upwards of thirty thousand dollars so my fiance and i can spend a month traveling bar hopping swinging and more in europe please have a bit of sympathy for my fiance and i because kovan and his nonsense has actually added depression into our lives so we really need y'all to open your wallets and just give a little bit as a bit of a motivator we've decided on some guest giving tears zero to a thousand dollar donation a thank you card with my kiss stain signature one thousand to fifteen hundred dollar donation a thank you card with my kiss stain signature my my wedding thong mailed separately what 1500 to 2500 donation a night with my fiancee and i a bottle of barefoot wine and lint chocolates fed to you 2500 to 3500 donation a party thrown with just us and a ceremony of appreciation eighteen plus thirty five hundred to five thousand dollars an invitation to join my fiance and i on part of our honeymoon but you'll sleep on the couch five thousand to sixty five hundred dollars the ultimate prize we can get away with my fiancee and i where we drown you in affection and spoil you this this post is so confusing on so many levels when she's talking about mailing people the wedding thong does that mean she's giving people the actual thong that she was wearing during the wedding what if multiple people give this tear does that mean she's gonna swap out her underwear midway through the ceremony multiple times so she can mail it out to multiple people or do they just have one thong and they send it to one guy and he just enjoys it for a while and then he mails it to the next guy on the list and it's his turn to enjoy it this doesn't make any sense hello i hope you're well i'm afraid i would like to return the knife and get a full refund thank you hello daniella can you please tell me what exactly is wrong with the knife i just want to know what we did wrong you did nothing wrong the blade is gorgeous and the quality is beyond my expectations but you see for me it's crucial that the objects that i bring to my home have the right energy i'm a spiritual and healing coach and i have a very strong connection to the energy flows around me since it's my job to redirect them in the right way and that's the problem here i'm a bit confused the knife i sent has the wrong energy if only your blade had a wrong or polluted energy that wouldn't be a problem i would bring back its balance but it has no energy at all you sent me a dead object a shell without a soul so what about a refund hello i contacted paypal and etsy to learn their policy about making refunds for items with bad energy or no energy at all are you mocking me i'm dead serious this lady is looking for a blade with a soul to my knowledge the only blade that i can think of that has a soul is frostmourne ebb and blade of the lich king all my world of warcraft players out there know what i'm talking about selling a two bedroom one bathroom house good evening is this available yes it is please leave me alone we're sleeping no more contacting please thanks appreciate you contacted me i know i'm no longer interested please stop contacting me now i will contact the attorney general if you don't stop thanks and down in the comments we have this reply from andre three million hey attorney general it's me again yeah just letting you know that someone was bothering me while trying to sleep and then the attorney general says i told you not to contact me again i'm trying to sleep giving away free extra cedarwood and maybe a few pieces of pine about seven pieces must be able to pick up and must be thankful i would also like one small favor in return i'd like the person who picks this up to make me an oil shelf that i'm in turn going to give to one of my young living members within a month would be ideal thank you young living is an mlm pyramid scheme company that sells essential oils so i want to tell you what's really going on with this post op has trash dating in her backyard and she expects someone else to come clean up the trash and in exchange for this favor she wants that person to make them a free shelf then she plans to give this oil rack to one of her clients so that client will want to buy even more essential oils from her so this person's trying to look like she's double charitable but actually she's a double scammer she's trying to get free labor from a woodworker and she's trying to pressure one of her clients to buy even more oils in this next post op is a guy in his late 20s who has never had a job or relationship these are the requirements that he posts online for his potential partner one i have no long-term debt and no i am not paying yours if you do but i don't care if you have any debt two obviously not applicable here yet three no kids don't want them at all never nope four technically five you must have an undetermined flexible and unpredictable career timeline you must be willing to relocate anywhere and you must be okay with whatever i decide i will always put money before people no matter who it is 6. you must be non-religious i prefer sensible people who aren't religious and are very progressive i'm talking like the communism into the spectrum 7. i have anger management issues so as long as you don't cheat on me or mess with me i won't punch holes in walls i'm very difficult to piss off so if you succeed you went above and beyond to do so and you knew you had it coming then for some reason op skips number eight nine wear would you like just don't drastically change your appearance unless i like the change ask first 10. i'm very very kinky and very adventurous in bed and i'd prefer you to be too 11. no splitting bills all money is kept separate you must sign a prenuptial agreement that says that all belongings go to me 12. i prefer young girls 18 or 19 13 no hugs except for family no kisses on the lips except family and certainly no romantic closeness with anyone else but me no hanging out with they're just a friend alone 14. i'm not cheating so you may look through my phone but you're not getting my passwords because i don't want my accounts tampered with we definitely should post about our relationship because it's fun 15. i don't care if you're rich or poor as we won't be merging money anyways as long as you're attractive and meet all my other criteria then op skips 16 and 17 for some reason 18. not interested in funeral talk let's leave that until we're 70. 19 the happily ever after mindset is possible but it's like winning the lottery jobless broke anger issues and the dude can't even count ladies calm yourselves unfortunately only one of you is going to be lucky enough to get this fine specimen of a man could you send me a resume to blank that includes your work experience as an editor thanks no but you can hire me and see my performance since there's a 90-day probation phase the application process is part of that 90-day probation phase and if you can't follow simple instructions i'm not sure this will work i submitted so many resumes and i'm not going to submit no more i know my performance and you guys are losing out if you don't hire me did this guy just apply to an editing job using a double negative well gosh i wonder why this complete idiot had to send out so many resumes and down in the comments we have this story from walnuts well i had a guy respond to our ad about a position being available in the floor team at one of our warehouses no hello no name no resume the hours were eight to five monday through friday the guy just said i'm available 9am to 2pm wednesday is call me and he left and he left no number selling a yeti cooler let's try this again i don't have the basket no i won't take less than 225 dollars yes it has stains it's a freaking cooler it keeps things cold like it should it's not winning any beauty contests no i won't meet you 50 miles from my house it's not my problem where you live you can adjust the search radius on your search so you don't have to use the i didn't realize how far away you are excuse if you plan on wasting my time please don't message me i get that the whole point of this post is that op is sick and tired of all the choosing beggars messaging him but who's gonna buy a used cooler for 225 dollars hi i'm currently looking for a babysitter to watch my kids in my home my girls are six and one years old my six-year-old will be starting public school very soon so basically the baby will be the only one needing care the job is sunday through thursday i'm off friday and saturday every week i'm paying the normal rate of 10 bucks a day if you're interested please feel free to let me know thanks in advance here's a pro tip for you don't hand over your six-year-old daughter and infant baby to someone who's willing to work for ten dollars a day on this next post op is a cake baker i'm one of your biggest fans so i hope you don't hate me for saying this even with 20 off your cakes are 50 shipping is 15 so 65 for some cake is a bit ridiculous i've been to some fancy places before but cake is basically flour sugar eggs etc shaking my head thanks for commenting and following with all due respect no one goes to the bmw dealership and complains that their prices are too high just because their prices are too high for you doesn't mean that they need to lower them you're just not their ideal client match and that's okay my pricing is usually based on my value not a person's budget again i appreciate you following well choosing beggar if a cake is just a couple of simple ingredients like flour sugar and eggs then bake your own cake that was our slash choosing beggars and if you like this 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Channel: rSlash

Views: 351,040

Rating: 4.9537964 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: uwDOBg3i9yU

Length: 15min 56sec (956 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 20 2020