Baby Geniuses: A Horror Film In Disguise

all right before we get into the video really quick I've been seeing some comments from people saying that they don't know that I have a podcast even though I plug it at the end of every single one of my videos but I have a weekly podcast called very really good it's on Spotify and iTunes and it's got its own YouTube channel I I film the podcast and stuff so if you like podcast give mine a listen and stuff cool enjoy the video it's called fashion dude look it up alright welcome back to my channel if you're new here what's up how's it going and if you're coming back what's up how's it going it's so good to see you again dude I hope you're doing well you see what happens when you subscribe to my channel you get an extra greeting at the beginning of every single one of my videos so press that little subscribe button down there for an extra breathing I wore this shirt for this video but it's out of frame the whole time but just know just know that that's what it says folks okay it's that time of year again dude Halloween well hopefully this video is probably gonna be late but whatever it's spooky time okay it's the scariest time of the year other than tax season am i right my original plan was to watch a really bad horror movie and kind of you know make fun of it but in my last video I ended up referencing the movie baby geniuses I basically said in my last video that baby geniuses was basically a horror movie because it had talking babies so obviously it's the scariest thing of all time and dude I don't know about you but when I was a kid I used to watch baby geniuses like all the time like once a week it was in my like heavy rotation of VHS tapes I loved it you know cuz I was a kid there were kids in the movie so you know you're kind of vibing on that level so I did what any person would do in my position I bought the movie and watched it two times in a row and then after that I realized it was on Netflix the whole time so so that's cool and guess what my hypothesis was correct okay this movie is terrifying baby geniuses is the scariest movie ever made and I almost pooped my dipey several times watching it so today we're gonna take a close look at baby geniuses to celebrate Halloween 2019 and if you don't think baby geniuses is a horror movie by the end of this video you will think so that is a guarantee so baby geniuses was released on March 12 1999 and it grossed over 36 million dollars in the box office take that goobie here's a synopsis scientists hold talking super-intelligent babies captive but things take a turn for the worse when a mix-up occurs between a baby genius and its twin and with a whopping two percent on Rotten Tomatoes and reviews such as one completely unwatchable piece of bottom-feeding dreck you can feel your brain rotting as you watch this and the movie is about as endearing as unanesthetized gum surgery it's bound to be a good time I hope I said that word correctly on anesthetized unanesthetized all right without further ado let's watch baby geniuses so the movie starts off at the super top secret facility where they keep these baby geniuses and we find out that the main character the main baby has escaped Sylvester he's escaped yeah his name is Sylvester a baby named Sylvester is the main character of this film we're 20 seconds in and I already want to throw up Sylvester dude that's the ugliest baby name in the world dude you might as well name him like chunky or limbo or something sorry if there's anyone named Sylvester who watches my videos I'm sure you're great but so there's this huge search to find Sylvester they send like a hundred dudes to find one baby there he is [Music] that's our guy okay this next scene is where it starts to get really [ __ ] creepy and terrifying so a little backstory I guess this movie was made in 1999 and as we all know special effects in CGI they weren't that good yet so the adult geniuses who made baby geniuses they didn't want to worry about like directing children and making sure they were making the correct face or not because contrary to the movie babies are dumb as [ __ ] so their idea was to just film the kids doing whatever and then they're just gonna CGI the kids heads onto the kids bodies so let's see what that looks like I guess for $19.99 that's okay but watching it now ah I hate it so much there's just something so creepy about a baby not moving like a baby that disgust I hate it a lot notice anything about that laughs there that is the same laugh sound effect that they used I don't know 10 seconds ago and they use it a lot in this movie okay so we're gonna keep a tally up on the screen somewhere to show how many times they use the exact same sound laugh effect through the whole movie cuz it's a lot it's too much okay so he's running and he gets caught by Christopher Lloyd oh yeah Christopher Lloyd is in this movie an actor that played one of the most iconic roles of all time he's in baby geniuses hey maybe that means his character is gonna be a good part of the movie and the movies gonna be okay in the end no I bet he thinks he he I bet he wishes that he could go back in a DeLorean and not be in that movie right probably okay so Sylvester is a superbaby genius who's really good at karate for some reason I don't know nearly blew us away with karate they never explained it obviously and just in case you're not a baby genius yourself and you have some questions the movie explains everything to you which is great two years ago twin brothers Sylvester and whit were born to a specially selected surrogate mother Director of Operations dr. Elena then arranged for a baby with to be adopted into the home of her niece and her nieces husband dr. dan bobbins may be sly was placed in the babyco hybrid developmental habitat to be raised under the guidance of the kinder method it is imperative for the integrity of this experiment that no one ever discovered that sly and wit our twins make sense so now we know they raise baby geniuses in a lab and there are these two twins named sly and whit can we not name the main characters after the trait that you want them to have that's insane dude that doesn't happen in real life as I wasn't named a handsome hilarious awesome strong tall perfect also this is nitpicky but Sylvester is spelt like Syl and investor right it's not s ly what with that logic my nickname would be crushed but hey cut it out so now we find out about the other villain dr. kinder and she's actually this lady's aunt who is the mother of wit she's also the CEO of baby Co which is uh which is a company that specializes in babies you know dude that Shark Tank pitch must have been awesome hi sharks baby no yeah okay hey baby yeah now we at babyco believe that babies have a language of their own and we're dedicated to proving it so baby Co is a company that thinks that babies have a language of their own and they also have the secrets to the universe they also just love babies we love babies so we open this cool fun amusement park called joy world and this is where we see their mascot and holy [ __ ] scariest thing in the world by far dude I don't know how I watched this movie when I was a kid because watching it now as a 25 year old adult I'm gonna have nightmares dude oh why would you put that in a kid's film dude why would you put that in a child's movie Omar dong I'm gonna wake up in a cold sweat and mill the night because of this [ __ ] huge adult sized baby and whatever it's [ __ ] name is what is this name okay Richard give me Baby Bunting both Oh what do they say Baby Bunting Bobo give me Baby Bunting both give me baby Bunty Bobo I'm gonna put on subtitles because I don't I don't know what they just said give me Baby Bunting both Oh Baby Bunting vocals so so that the mascots name is Baby Bunting huh that just sounds like something a deranged baseball player would do he is sickening to look at not like a good not like that good term like oh my god it's sickening no it's like I'm [ __ ] I'm gonna throw up just looking at Baby Bunting dude okay so these two people they're they're the adoptive parents of wit but they don't know that that he has a twin brother named Sylvester and they also own this like cute little daycare center also apparently the dad is like some genius when it comes to baby talk so uh that babyco lady like steals all of his ideas or some [ __ ] I don't it's so dumb man I hate this yo bro what's your major um I don't know can't you tell why are you talking like that I'm majoring in baby talk I'm at the top of my class I did I don't like this I didn't I don't I didn't think you can major in that you just [ __ ] your diaper yes my homework so with throw a wrench at man balls and it funny ha ha ha ha and we got another laugh let's put it up there this is a monkey wrench and another one oh my [ __ ] there's like 5 seconds dude put another [ __ ] copy/paste laughing up there Jesus Christ man now if you thought the plot before was really confusing just you wait I don't know what sound that was this is where the plot just [ __ ] throws all logic out the door so here we go are we here as incoherent noise may actually be a musical masterpiece listen to our computers interpretation of Basil's play that's from luck okay well what if that's the case it's possible that what we hear as Baby Talk he's actually conversation okay I have to check you several hundred languages we found out they are writing the ancient and forgotten language of cuneiform not only do these baby speak their own language they understand all others okay every baby might know the secrets of the universe all right okay so this is where I start having a really big issue with the plot because it just doesn't make sense straight up so they study these baby geniuses to find out the secrets of the universe because babies are born with that knowledge but as we go on through the movie we find out that every baby every baby is born with that knowledge and they have they have they hold the secrets to the universe so what's special with what's special about these babies why these babies they're like these are the special babies but every baby knows it and they know it too so I don't know why these [Music] it's so dumb also I know this is a fictional movie but you want me to believe that babies know everything about the universe okay in that case dude we should all just rub peanut butter on our bodies and go also that's so creepy babies there's like know everything about the universe and they speak in some old archaic forgotten language they're demons other demons for sure yeah oh my god he's gonna say his first words come on [Music] so cute okay now it's time we get really scared again this is when we see the babies talk to each other for the first time and they use CGI for that as well I read that when they were filming the movie the babies just had like they their mouths were closed the whole time and then they put a CG mouth like over it so let's see what that looks like enlighten me my little Einstein [Music] what do you think should I invite her she won't understand she doesn't speak our language but go ahead have fun all right all right that does it listen doc if you're gonna talk out of your ass all the time maybe you should wear a bow tie on your bow tie man so I'm not over this I hate it so much I hate when they talk because you know when you wreck it when we when we talk we have like different expressions and our eyebrows move and we have all these facial muscles that do things in accordance with what we're saying right to like show emotions but the babies it's just their mouths moving that's it I'm gonna do the rest of the video like that with just my mouth moving and nothing else moving at all just kidding I want you guys to watch this whole video so I won't do that okay so back in the day care now and another [ __ ] copy-paste laughs they couldn't have just gotten one more laugh they couldn't have got a kid to laugh one more time to switch it up huh they got one they made a funny face at one kid and it went and they were like good cut print it's good let's use it for the whole movie and piss Curtis off okay so now we meet this weird secondary character named Dickie he works at the daycare but his whole character arc is him dressing up in different ways so we can get fired because he doesn't like his job that's his whole arc that's all you need to know about him but if I'm being honest Dickie walked so II boys could run okay he is the original boy I think Dickie boy Dickie boy that's his name now I'm gonna call him Dickie boy [Music] okay and another [ __ ] laugh Jesus Christ okay so in this next scene the dad somehow understands something that wit says because he's an expert in baby talk he just said clears a bill by a factor of four at least and uh and wit and his sister freaked out because then he might find out about the secrets of the universe right he's gonna explain the secrets of the universe holy [ __ ] man this movie okay I'm just gonna quote the gays burger dress okay now back at the lab Sylvester is trying to escape again spoiler alert he does but this scene when he's about to escape is my favorite dude it is so amazing why do you ask let me tell you so they do a lot of close-up shots of Sylvester's hands but I notice when I watch it that the hands are moving like really precisely and quickly ways that baby's hands don't move right because babies are dumb and they they can't grab stuff cuz they're still trying to figure out how to be a person right so when you look really close at the hands they have like wrinkles and stuff and the fingernails are like dirty and they they're weathered hands so this it's an adult pretending to be a baby and it's so funny to me to think that they just put out a casting call for really tiny hands casting call looking for people with a little tiny baby hands [Music] it's my big break so Sylvester and his wrinkly wrinkly little hands escaped the lab then he gets kidnapped by a homeless man and then he beats the [ __ ] out of a homeless man yep there's the thing that happens and of course he says what we all say after we just beat up someone okay so then sly he [ __ ] hops in another baby stroller and this right here might be my least favorite scene in any movie of all times it must be it I it might be worse than the Christian mingle sushi oh I know it's a bold statement but just just wait go design this dress Larry Moe and Curly call me okay no no no no no okay let's try to put that out of our [ __ ] heads Sylvester stays the night overnight in this macy's and there's a fun little montage of him trying on a bunch of clothes [Music] No [Music] okay I take back what I said before about the destroyer scene being the worst that's the worst dude dude that must have taken so long for them to do those effects and for what for me to hold back vomit Congrats guys they should have just told the actual kid to just dance that would have been funny probably at the very least it would have been adorable right but no they had to hire some like I guess shorter person put a green sock over their [ __ ] head and be like dance dance we're gonna put a baby hat on you Just Dance it'll be good what the [ __ ] man okay so the next day whit and his mom they go to the mall the same all that Sylvester is at another [ __ ] laugh dude oh my god [Music] hahaha they go to the same jungle gym and big surprise the bad people kidnap the wrong kid if I had a dime right well okay well not not if I had a dime for every time I kidnapped the wrong kid I mean if I had a dime for every time I saw that in a movie like it someone got the wrong twin I don't steal babies from jungle gyms okay after all this wit gets kidnapped and he just watches his brother get kidnapped in broad daylight by those creepy men the little [ __ ] I didn't do a [ __ ] thing about it so he goes home with whit's mom and he starts swinging on a rope and then he does back handsprings cuz you know he's a genius and that's what geniuses do so he spends a day at home but the sister sees right through him okay but [ __ ] a Sylvester is such an [ __ ] to her dude you're not my brother don't be dumb sure she's sorry for getting so mad at a fictional baby but dude Sylvester is violent he has one laugh he let his brother get kidnapped and he's not even gonna try to save him or anything dude he's so unlikable he is he is the goobie of babies sorry for the second goobie reference already in this video but that's the movie I compared every other movie to now [ __ ] you Sylvester and to think I was gonna make a Sylvester I hardly know her joke you're not even worth it dude you little brat so back at the baby lab they they realize that they have wit and instead of Sylvester so but they're like happy about it for some reason because now they can like compare studies and [ __ ] oh yeah holy [ __ ] I'm sorry I forgot this movie has so many insane plot points that I just almost forgot about this but when you turn to you do this thing called crossing over you forget all the secrets of the universe and you just become a regular person and it's a very weird part to this movie and the kids treat it like their other kids are dying [Music] like I said this is a horror movie don't go Missy I she's crossing okay let's move it along okay so Sylvester tells the other kids at the daycare what's going on with baby cow at the same time baby cow sends two people to kidnap Sylvester I heard about you your karate but the little douchebag Sylvester sets up a home alone style trap for these guys guess you expected me to step over this ski and then you'll jump on the end and in the end I'll jump up and hit me in the gonads and I'll scream and make a funny face and fall down the stairs right well I think you've been seeing too many bad movies pal dude are they saying that home alone is a bad movie you were in no position to imply anything negative about the masterpiece that is home alone okay [ __ ] this movie man man hurt balls fall down stairs very funny I wonder if we're gonna hear another laugh so the other guy tries to go kidnapping but same thing happens to him hurts his balls fall downstairs ha ha ha ha so they both leave they both got hit in the balls once and they leave Marv got a nail through his foot and hairy burnt his scalp off and they still went after Kevin you guys are [ __ ] [ __ ] you can't talk [ __ ] about them dude I'm heated ok so we're getting closer to the end ok I promised so now Sylvester and whit use like their twin telepathy to like communicate with each other that's the thing that is a plot point in this movie they never explained it before they never explained it during or after it's just a thing that happens baby Co is going to take all the baby geniuses to some other facility far far away okay so they hatch a little plane so they hypnotize the sleeping plumber and inadvertently also hypnotized Dickie boy and they like control their minds now I don't know man I feel like this videos gonna be really long I don't have time to figure out what the [ __ ] is going on so the hypnotized plumber drives them all the babyco to save the baby geniuses and back at the house the sister tells the dad what's going on because the dad can now fully understand baby talk I don't know what the [ __ ] going on and I don't have the time to even think about or try to figure it out I'm just rolling with it okay I'm just wrong I'm just somersaulting with it I'm just somersaulting like a genius so now we're at the final showdown and all the babies use the amusement park robots to like fight back so unfortunately that means we have to see baby bunting again [Music] okay dude I can't I [ __ ] can't watch this dude well I mean I guess I can't get too mad at Baby Bunting because that's exactly what I do when I come home to my girlfriend oh my god dude with a little bit of editing I feel like I can make a Baby Bunting horror movie trailer okay I know I can okay so here's that [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Music] that's scary okay let's keep going are almost done I promise [Music] [Music] okay I'll give them that that was cute okay we're almost done there's a rooftop showdown rooftop showdown rooftop showdown rooftop showdown how many movies have ended with a [ __ ] helicopter ladder helicopter I hardly know where we got one all right okay so dad fall down hurt head ouch mom go saved a cop show up mom punch lady all the babies are safe now end of the movie right no of course not why would it be so the brothers cross over together and the movie ends with this very nice wholesome line honey I think she's trying to tell you this is the way things are supposed to be okay secrets of life you want to see the real secret of life take a look so sweet end of the movie right no not yet the actual end of this movie is the most insane thing I have ever seen in my life the last few minutes of the movie is a highlight reel of all the things that happened already in the movie with like slow emotional music behind it I'm not joking this is in the movie [Music] what the [ __ ] why why what I watched the movie we watch the movie why play that I've seen it I've seen all these things man dude that is such a dumb way to end something just show the things that we already saw but like slower and with an emotional soundtrack did [Music] okay so that's baby geniuses when I sat down to watch it I was like kind of excited I was like maybe I'll feel like nostalgic and it'll be like like old times no no dude he was the opposite I felt sad and disappointed and scared and uncomfortable at all every bad feeling you could have I had it like the plot is insane the special effects are really off-putting and creepy but I will say that this was actually the first movie they use CGI to like make it look like their their lips were moving that's the first time anyone's ever done that in a movie so like kudos to them for going for it but like yikes yeah like the jokes weren't good or funny the servest Sylvester wasn't likeable from the beginning because you know his name is Sylvester in conclusion baby geniuses is a horror movie and I will not be taking any comments or criticisms at this time thank you and if you still disagree with me take one more look at Baby Bunting you tell me this is not a horror movie exactly dude so I think the one thing that I learned from this video is you got to be safe out there you never know if a homeless man is gonna kidnap you or if if a huge adult baby robot is gonna punch you into some bushes but you also need to be safe online which brings us to today's sponsor expressvpn if you've been watching my videos for a long time you know all about expressvpn and how awesome they are they've sponsored many of my videos in the past and if you haven't given them a try yet now is the perfect time dude I use expressvpn literally every day whether I'm on my phone or my computer I like knowing that my personal information is safe from those stinky stinky little hackers especially when I'm like out in public got like a coffee shop getting some work done and I'm connected to like public Wi-Fi if I don't use a VPN when I'm connected to that Wi-Fi it is very easy for them to steal my credit card info or my social media passwords it's scary dude people are bad but all it takes is a couple clicks and expressvpn encrypts your internet data so you can browse the internet without worrying expressvpn has the fastest speeds they have server locations in 94 countries giving you plenty of options to choose from there are apps for every device it's easy to use and it was rated the number one VPN service by TechRadar and the sweet little cherry on top of all of this is that expressvpn is less than seven dollars a month with a 30-day money-back guarantee see it got no reason not to give it a go my guy and it also helps out me in my channel as well so take back your internet privacy today and find out how you can get three months free on a one-year subscription by clicking the link in my description or it is going to expressvpn comm slash Curtis town so thanks again expressvpn bars for sponsoring another one of my videos thanks for supporting the channel that movie really brought out of me dude I've now seen this movie four times and I'm probably gonna watch it another time when I'm editing so can't wait if you enjoy the video please press the like button means a lot one like equals one pair of wrinkly wrinkly baby hands so that's pretty cool leave a comment let me know what you thought let me know if you watch this movie when you're younger let me know you think of it now let me know if you disagree if you still like it for some reason and yeah let me know if you wanna if you have any other movie recommendations for me to watch because making these videos as as traumatizing as they are they are a lot of fun to make so yeah thank you also don't forget to press the subscribe button because I make a video every single week and there's so much fun and as soon as you press a subscribe button you become a valued citizen of Curtis town it is the best place in the world to live and I'm the mayor so you have to be nice to me it's the law yeah check out the description for all the other things I do my weekly podcast called very really good I've started filming those and putting them up on my on the podcast YouTube channel so go check that out subscribe my Instagram my Twitter are down there Mike Curtis town merch you can grab grab some sweet sweet merch and wear it and show that you're proud of where you're from also I got a few shows coming up in the New York area so links for those will be down there as well alright thanks so much for watching I'll see you later I gotta go though I got to go kill Baby Bunting okay bye [Music] qe please be quiet filming a video Kiwi stop

Channel: Kurtis Conner

Views: 3,331,913

Rating: 4.9699264 out of 5

Keywords: kurtis conner, bad movie, baby geniuses, kurtis connor, commentary, baby genius, look whos talking, bad cgi, bad acting, cringe, kids movie, nostalgia, old kids movie, bad kids movie, comedy, reaction, halloween, scary movie, bad horror movie

Id: 4T8B-m1uNS4

Length: 32min 25sec (1945 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 01 2019