If Junk Food Commercials Were Honest - Honest Ads

blow their I'm Roger my last name is Horton and I'm here to tell you all about Hortons ground-up corn and rice with salt but you already knew that because we've spent billions of dollars advertising our edible fat shavings to kids you remember this thing from the commercials we aired on your favorite cartoon channels right after school let out I'm addicted to this stuff it's true she is you all are it's bad for you but it tastes good Hortons are hydrogenated oil sponges are made of the freshest additives and come in a variety of flavors and shapes like a circle or an oval or a cone or a hyperbolic parabola or whatever shape you'll buy it's fake food so we can make it into whatever you want here how about this we put them all together because it doesn't actually matter nothing will stop you from eating food that's so processed it no longer contains any ingredient that resembles actual food you'll also need about three times more of it to feel as full as if you've just eaten an apple or something your body was meant to actually process where it's fine because once you start eating it your brain will go on autopilot and before you know it you'll have eating an entire bag and you'll feel just like the garbage you just made why did I eat all that crap oh look this ground-up corners saw his fish we know exactly what to add to our chemical crackers to make you tick and keep on ticking not in a sense of keeping you alive more like we've spent millions in funded research geared toward finding out how to make you and your family resemble rats on cocaine who knew it just took a little sugar we did since 1960 but we paid researchers to hide the evidence no wonder our special ground-up corn and rice with sugar is flying off the shelves look they're shaped like tiny little sugar cubes hmm there is a sugar cube get that to marketing when we're not spending money brainwashing your kid into thinking these virtual bags of waste products should be part of their diet we're spending it on lobbyists who keep you from actually knowing what's in the food we've trained you to buy Oh mom can you sing got a corn rice with sugar please please please fine but we're getting this low-fat low-sodium healthy ground-up corn and rice with sugar ah a mother trying to fight against the years of advertising we've shoved into her daughter's brain even though you try to get your kids to eat healthier we've spared no expense hiding the actual nutrition facts from you whether it's intentionally making our food labels confusing with measurements no Americans currently used to cook using lobbyists to stop bills that would make our food labels more transparent or paying researchers to claim our products don't cause childhood obesity we're years ahead of you so don't even try you've got that don't try also our healthy ground-up corn and rice with sugar has three times the sugar of regular ground-up corn and rice with sugar to cover up the salt and fat we took out of it really really but here at Horton food we don't just care about making cheap food quickly for maximum consumption we care about your family which is why we work hard to stay in your children's school lunches and cafeterias so that we can increase brand loyalty and stay a permanent part of your family's routine now these are cooking lab rats have never seen one and I've seen many again I'm Roger hey thanks for watching if you want to subscribe hit the Big C in the middle and if you want to watch more videos like honest ads hits one of the boxes to the right be sure to hit the notification bell below so YouTube will notify you when we have a new video hey what's in this Cheers [Music]

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,790,077

Rating: 4.9658332 out of 5

Keywords: junk food, junk, food, junk food commercials, honest ads, honest commercials, commercial parody, snack food, snack, foods, chips, candy, crackers, goldfish crackers, potato chips, cracked, cracked.com, sketch, comedy, funny, spoof, satire, parody, humor, honest trailers, sketch comedy, hilarious, commercial parodies, ads, eating junk food, junk food junkie, junk food kids, unhealthy, junk food confessions

Id: G8lgZxYxpC8

Length: 4min 59sec (299 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 17 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Stargazer1186]

That was hilariously dark. I wish there was more control over the crap they put in our snacks. This why I only eat fruit as snacks.