If Music Festivals Were Honest - Honest Ads (Bonnaroo, Coachella, Lollapalooza Parody)

doesn't this looked like something resembling fun music the outdoor spending money twirling around these shiny sticks of poisonous what if I told you that you could do this for 48 hours straight in an inhospitable field or desert or parking lot with little to no food or water sounds terrible well but you 3 to $400 you'll come to see a handful of bands you've kind of heard of this year at port fest dude I don't have that kind of money of course you don't you're a young person but that's the price of a general admission ticket at most major music festivals anyway and because my generation did such a good job convincing you that Woodstock was cool and somehow important when we became capitalists we turned these noise traps into a multi-million dollar industry sellout thank you of course you can choose to pay me the hilariously expensive ticket price and potentially manageable chunks I don't care I get my money anyway just make sure to buy stuff while you're stuck inside that's the important part you see when I partnered with my buddies over at potable chemical company to sponsor Hort fest our main responsibility became locking you into my music themed maze and forcing you to buy their products and nobody buys products better than rich people do young people are just kind of okay at it we mostly needed the youths to make going to my sponsored crowd pit look like a cool act of defiance before beginning to price them out entirely and after all isn't 3/4 of your rent a small price to pay for all that fun you'll have once you're surrounded by other fellow millennial cattle in my noise and drug farm once you're there you'll be free to listen to music you want in between doing things like waiting in line for a porta potti getting shoved by strangers and taking in all the cultural appropriation and mystery pills you're rotting brain cells can handle and speaking of look over there a famous person sorry I had to do that to distract you from the horrifying statistics about drug-related arrests and overdoses at festivals like mine because drugs are an important part of Hort fest they're how we get you here without them you'd probably be at home doing something less expensive and physically exhausting so what do you say go to my 48 hours sweat and sound parade or something else before you decide I'd like to point out that what you're really paying for is the opportunity to take a few Instagram pictures that make it seem like you're having a good time and the chance to tell your friends that you went to a big music festival for the rest of your life legally you are under no obligation to tell them that you were hot and constantly rubbing sweaty elbows with strangers and somehow got pinkeye and are weren't enough bathrooms and that the sound was bad seriously you can lie and brag to your friends there's no law against its small price to pay for status that's what I thought and hey for an extra 200 I'll let you stand in a shaded area slightly larger small price to pay so come to this year's 4th fist port fest you're paying for the right to tell your friends you went here I'm Roger by the way and I'm it doesn't matter what your name is hey thanks for watching if you'd like to subscribe to our Channel hit the Big C in the middle feel free to click the links to the right if you want to watch another cracked video and don't forget to hit that notification bell at the bottom to be notified when we put out another great cracked video

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,510,627

Rating: 4.9083881 out of 5

Keywords: Music Festivals, music, festivals, coachella, lollapalooza, summerfest, Bonnaroo, Fyre, Fyre Festival, ja rule, music festival, fyre festival ja rule, honest ads, honest commercials, honest trailers, comedy, cracked, fyre festival 2017, news, fyre festival disaster, sketch, funny, spoof, cracked.com, commercial parodies, infotainment

Id: 7EjgkXYr0aw

Length: 4min 5sec (245 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 07 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Krisapocus]

I've been to my fair share of festivals and I'm done. The best concerts are in medium to small venues.

[u/capseaslug]

Yeah the parties suck, you probably shouldn't go. Sell me your tickets at half price.

[u/Reggina_Pals]

sounds like yall need a decent fest. try electric forest, shambhala, lost lands is gunna be sick too.

[u/lukumi]

I feel like this joke is just so tired. Listening to music communally and dancing, as well as partying and drinking/using whatever, has been a big part of civilization for thousands of years. This is just the modern iteration of it.

[u/albertienstien]

it sounds like this was written by the narrator. an old person who doesnt do drugs

[u/Shit_Ill_Repost]

I work at a lot of festivals. This is how most mainstream 50k+ US festivals are.

[u/mynameisohknee8]

Try sneaking in your own food/drinks and go to a festival where you can bring in chairs!!! Problem solved.