If Gyms Were Honest - Honest Ads

gyms they're the only way you can get fit aside from all the other ways in the only place you can get juice aside from lots of others and while you could improve your health with a t-shirt shorts and determination part of you think you can buy Fitness I'm Roger and you're going to pay me to let you do exercises in my building because at Hortons Center to move around in you can move around in many different ways and if these sexy toned statue people don't convince you to join your deep-seated fears and occasional optimism will so sign up for a gym membership today we'd love to have you as a member because you remind us of our current members they're out of shape shame monsters who don't come here regularly and who signed our contract because it gave them a momentary burst of hope endorphins those lump and sad balls never actually come here and their fees more than subsidize the rare gym member who does show up it's our entire business model that in making the Terry Crews wannabes who do come here feel inadequate until they hire expensive personal trainers personal trainers of course or a service we pretend is obligatory sometimes we even make members pay to attend a class which is held inside the gym they already paid to enter we give that class a name like boot camp with a burn so we can use fun fonts on our website did you know people invented yoga in the 1960s and there's no law against implying it's ancient fun fact fun ancient fact there's another fun fact our memberships are almost impossible to cancel that contract you signed to enter our sweat factory is full of stipulations and if you don't send us a piece of certified mail whatever that is by a kind of arbitrary cutoff date that we hope you don't see we'll keep working out our swiping muscles with your credit card speaking of muscles you've mostly been focused on this sexy human meat this entire time which is why sexy human meat is at the heart of all our promotional material and hey you should be that meat become that meat here if you sign up now we'll even waive the initiation fee that we created just so we could waive it as if it costs us a hundred fifty bucks to turn on a keycard and show you a locker room with a deal like that you'd be crazy not to join me and Vanessa and turbo and thousands of your fellow members who will all come to my gym at once at 7:00 p.m. on a weekday just like you want to so sign up now and by giving me a sizable portion of the disposable income from that full time sit-down job that's making you unhealthy you can get healthy today but you probably won't I'm Roger by the way hey what a spot Raj oh no way we don't ever clean that thing hey thanks for watching I hope you loved us and shouldn't we thank Yoshi Siddhartha and Shanon joy rogers for joining us huh and hey when you write your comments let us know how much money you spend to not exercise

Channel: Cracked

Views: 3,113,970

Rating: 4.8152103 out of 5

Keywords: Gyms, 24 hour fitness, La Fitness, fitness, juice, health, weight loss, honest ads, gym members, cracked, sketch, working out, personal trainers, parody, funny, spoof, humor, the burn, boot camp, yoga, gym memberships

Id: 61iKnKtwpUM

Length: 3min 36sec (216 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 04 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

As an employee of a gym, this is spot on.

[u/99hh4c]

And if you don't want to pay that much https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6uXM-PSsTA

[u/picmandan]

I feel like Planet Fitness has a slight head start on other gyms cause the monthly rates are not so bad. But what's with the initiation and yearly fee? Also, they do make up for it in volume.

[u/Aarmed]

None of these gym videos seem to do much for me, there was another not too long ago. I guess my gym experience is different than most. I know I enjoy every trip.

[u/OralCulture]

Wait, Yoga IS thousands of years old.