If Superstore Ads Were Honest - Honest Ads (Target, Walmart Parody)

hey what's up world I'm Roger and I own far too many companies so I'd like to give back but I'd like to get back in a way that still makes me money so I can buy stuff because we all want stuff we all need stuff and you can get any stuff you want at Rogers item cube my big bucks for buying stuff in don't worry we have got most stuff need a cup we have more than one kind power tool sure toys guns cribs we've got it all you want to get an eye exam and buy a trampoline depending on your location I can make it happen because instead of carving out my own segment of the american consumer market I decided to say screw it let's just be everything this way instead of running just one mom-and-pop shop out of business we can run them all out of business under the guise of capitalism and healthy competition bathmat cell phones greeting cards literally anything of which you could think we've got racks and racks of Shame fabric designed to hide the disgusting human body and style but not too much style here this is merely fine right sure yeah oh if you don't like it don't worry it's not built to last very long you see it was made by well I don't want to use the word slaves because it's not correct what employs is a bit of a stretch too let's say it was just made by people getting paid a small amount of very little money to make these garments quickly and if necessary poorly I know what you're thinking you're worried about losing jobs but jobs are just one of the many stuffs that you can get at my item cube but oh sure we won't start you out on a living wage or work our way up to a living wage but we will offer a wage competitive with the equally low wages of other item cubes out there even better for me we'll make sure most of our employees stay part-time so that we don't ever have to give them benefits which if you ever got them aren't very good this doesn't sound like a very good job actually yeah you know what we should form no unions that's right no unions please I say please as a courtesy if you try to form a union we'll probably shut down the entire store I mean Google that we do that we also shut down our stores sometime if there's a little too much crime for our tastes you can google that too super stores like ours show up in towns where all needs are met and then we run every local shop out of business with our competitive prices and then when we're the only game in town we just leave if it becomes hard because of either unions or crime or you know whatever what happens to the town why don't we leave questions like that to the philosophers because it has a direct impact on them the point is we're going to come to your town and ruin every business that isn't ours so you better play nice with us or else we'll leave after we've devastated everything depriving you of jobs and other use of all that stuff you want to buy and nobody wants that right we want well-paying jobs and quality goods so come on down to Rogers Arnhem Cube we've got it all all that stuff come buy it from me hey we've got a pizza barn up in here yes just awful go get me a coffee a dog bed and some Legos anyway I'm still Roger and he'll I'm running for president - because well [Music] thanks for watching if you want to subscribe hit the Big C in the middle and if you want to watch more videos like honest ads hit one of the boxes to the right be sure to hit the notification bell below so YouTube will notify you when we have a new video

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,541,027

Rating: 4.9366174 out of 5

Keywords: Superstore, superstore ads, Superstore Ads Were Honest, Target, Walmart, Parody, Honest Ads, honest, nbc superstore, honest trailers, satire, humor, cracked.com, funny, comedy, spoof, cracked, sketch, Sam's Club, honest commercials, hilarious, commercials, commercial parody, infotainment, shopping, walmart people, ads, store, cracked honest ads, honest political ads, youtube ads

Id: Ft3DKfhtoc8

Length: 4min 30sec (270 seconds)

Published: Mon May 01 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Top quality shit i like it tyvm