What to do while single? (The 3 B's)

hey Tony guys is here want to pop in got a question asking me about the three bees now I believe I wrote about the three bees in my book mrs. right or it could have been in my book single it's not a curse now this kind of flows right in with what you want to be doing while you are single and in waiting and this applies to men and women but this is this is what I realized as a relationship coach a life coach I used to do a little bit of matchmaking didn't publicize it or really market it like that but here's here's something I realized is we all are perfect in our own right everybody is beautiful in the sight of God beauty is in the eye of the beholder but what I see most often is people play to their strengths and so when you play to your strengths you do what makes you feel comfortable and then we avoid our weaknesses at all costs so it's kind of like I went to the gym this morning I'm into my mentor got life headquarters right now make sure you visit my mentor got life but before I came here I went to the gym and a lot of times when you go to the gym what do you do you work on your strongest body part so if that's your arms then you lift their arms if your legs are strong then you lift and legs and when a trainer comes in the trainer says listen okay it looks like you've been skipping leg day or it looks like you've been skipping arm day we need to work that area and they work that area to kind of help you find some balance the same thing happens in our life we go to I talked to a lot of clients and it may be a client who has really really focused on their body and body is tip-top shape you know pristine everything is where it needs to be body is perfect but have not focused on their brand haven't created something that he or she can't be fired from in addition to having their job or some don't have a job or some has something but isn't really developing it the other part haven't focused on the brain so we always sometimes lack something me personally I'm married so I'm not looking I'm not in waiting but I struggle with the body you know working on my body and I may skip the gym I miss get workouts because I'm just not motivated to work out now genetically I'm okay to I'm fortunate to have genetics that it's not the end of the world but I gotta be very mindful of my body so let's go through this the reason why I said brain brand and body because and I put body last because a lot of issues that come around the body and people very sensitive about that but when you think about brain now this can encompass everything even your faith because when you are working on your faith when you're developing your faith you're feeding your mind your mind houses everything a lot of times we differentiate but your heart doesn't have a brain so your heart your spirit your soul your mind is all here it's all in your mind we just call it these different things but it's all your mind so when you focus on the brain which is the mind that is working on yourself in the area of your spirituality your faith your beliefs so you're reading the Holy Bible I'll just use Christianity as an example you're reading the Bible you're feeding your spirit so you're getting that knowledge on how you ought to be carrying yourself in that you're reading you're studying you're getting wisdom knowledge and understanding that faith has some rules that you live by let's say like the commandments so when you start to perfect your faith and you start to live a quote-unquote righteous lifestyle it will start to affect other areas of your life you will start to produce more in other areas of your life when you're keeping these quote-unquote bylaws of life these principles of living so when you learn to love others as you love yourself that benefits your life when you learn not to covet that benefits your life when you learn let's say not to backbite and gossip that benefits your life when you're not cheating fornication adultery or you when you're not even lusting in your mind in your heart when you are not competing with people what you're trying to help others as you're helping yourself loving others as you love yourself when you put all these pieces on a puzzle together you're not worshipping money you're not focused on on money the love of money sometimes people misquote the scripture because they've never read it and they say money is the root of all evil and it doesn't say that it says the love of money so you're not worshiping money money is a byproduct of your righteous lifestyle it's a byproduct of you living with morals values and principles you're able to create and produce so when you get to that place you start to understand this now that's all in the brain the next thing with that with feeding your mind you get a new knowledge so when you can sit down and you say look every day I'm gonna take out some time a hour a day one hour out of 24 hours that's like less than 5% like 10% would be 2 point 4 so 5% 1 point 2 so you've given 5% of your day to self-development to grow in your mind and you may split that up depending on your schedule you may have more time than that but you may take and split this up and you may say ok I'm gonna read this book or I'm gonna watch this video or I'm gonna listen to this podcast whatever it may be and so you are feeding your mind and when you do that in different areas some may be relationship self-development you know self love but then you may be listening or reading in your career focus whether that's marketing or what have you this morning I was listening to audio book by Malcolm Gladwell while I was working out I'm listening to this audio book I think it's about you know it's about meeting strangers and it's just telling these different stories and how we view people how we perceive people how to interact with people how we read people so I'm listening to it I don't know what it's gonna add to my life but I know his book outliers really blessed me so I'm giving another book of shot so every single day while I'm working out I'm going through my day I'm listening to an audiobook or a podcast or a YouTube video and if one sentence if I hear one sentence what you have to realize is when you're getting new knowledge that seeds being planted so when you think about a see what does a seed do it goes into the ground when you water it you take care of it it produces what it produces is always much greater than the seed so if I'm listening to a video and I get one sentence just one sentence that's a seed that's going to produce something much greater that's going to yield a harvest in my life so that's the importance of feeding your mind you got to do that if you are not doing it if you are not growing mentally then you are dying and so you have to be conscious about this and you have to be deliberate about your growth your personal development your mental health so that you're feeding yourself and so as you're doing this now you're able to add what you learn to your life and it betters your life in every area that you're focusing on that you're studying so this may also be in conversation it may be talking with a life coach or a consultant mentor whatever term you want to call it they're almost interchangeable but when you are investing in yourself in that way when you make an investment there is a return so the next thing you realize is that by doing this you're building yourself you are investing in yourself you're feeding yourself so I want you to think about this as you are single in waiting this also applies when you're in a relationship you still have to be growing so this is what I mean by the brain when I'm talking about the three bees now as you realize I'm shooting this video I don't have a note card or PowerPoint that I'm looking at or going through I kind of flow and so the three bees was in my state of flow as I was writing the book and trying to encompass everything in our life of course there's gonna be some some outlying things that you may have to put in another category so you can add something to it but most things you'll be able to fit it somewhere in one of these three bees brain brand and body and so that brain that's your control center that's everything that's when you're building your relationships your friendships that's when you spending time with your family that's your control center that's all of your health mental health spiritual health emotional health that's where you focus at there and you have something that you're doing something so for example I'll go home and I'll put my phone down and I'll just play with my songs I told my son's about their day really build with them that's benefiting me when they go to bed then I'm spending quality time with my wife that's benefiting me guess what if I didn't do that and all I did was work I would be empty I would have a voice so in this area you fill up all these things so I'll spend time with the Lord and in prayer or in reading or I'm listening to the Bible on audio so I'm spending time feeding my spirit man and then I'm spending time this to our audio book so I'm feeding my mind my knowledge and then I'm spending time with friends family and that is feeding me also spiritually emotionally so focus on those areas and I believe it's in single or not occur single is not a curse I talked about the elf's maybe it was five else and you have to get the book forgive me but I talk about faith family finances friends and there's one more F you get a cookie if you could come up with that other elf I can't remember what it is though maybe fitness maybe those fitness and so I talked about focusing on these different areas and this is how you have to break your life down in order to advance your life and that's where so many people go wrong you just focus on your strengths and you forget about your weak areas now next when I talk about brand now brand could be you could break it down so if you let's say you have a career you're in a career and when I say career what I mean really is you have a job that you can be fired so you're not an entrepreneur so your brand if you're happy in that job and that's what you want to do then your brand would still be developing yourself so we see doctors we see publicist we see HR professionals we see these people still become authors we see these people as experts on television on talk shows coming in to be the expert in residence so just because you have a corporate job doesn't mean you don't have a brand but you also own that corporate job you want to climb the ladder you want to be paid more money so still by feeding your brain you are developing your personal brand by taking another certification another class getting new skills see if you want to be paid more then you got to be able to add value and so you know what to add value you have to add knowledge and so going to a seminar a conference a retreat and still feeding yourself that is building your brand but here's the key what I tell everybody it's great you know I'm in the office of the company that I created so I can't be fired from my own company but I still have to develop the company and build the company and so that the company has legs now I don't have to get it to where I have a million coaches but just enough to even if I just have enough coaches on my mentor that life to help service my 3 million followers online then and if those clients also want to become coaches they take a coach certification and then they can join the site to help others so I have to focus on building my brand and developing my brand the same goes for you now what I did is I was working for somebody else and I'm working 40 hours a week for them but guess what any day they could fire me so in the side of the the brand I had to say okay what are my natural gifts now I can't do a whole video I could do a whole video on this but I'm not gonna do that so you can visit Tony Gaskins academy.com which again is something that I created from my skill set from my knowledge from my passions from my heart that is something that I cannot be fired from so Tony Gaskins Academy it costs me money to shoot the courses and it costs me money to house those courses on the web so but I'm able to earn from there because I'm teaching something that I may know that you may not know and you're able to benefit from that you have knowledge that you can teach that not everyone has even if this knowledge is you master in your position in the corporate world there's thousands of other people who have your same job who may not be as good at it as you so if you take and write a book on that and the title is like a key word that people will actually Google and then you can even boost that book you can market that book online now even in your corporate job you've created something that will help other people be better at their corporate job but you cannot be fired from your book that you've created and you don't know if one day somebody gets it and they have a mailing list of a hundred thousand people and they sent it out and it sells ten thousand twenty thousand copies and you make more in a day or a month than you make in a year on your job but you've also just created something that will bring in passive income meaning you do the work one time and you're paid for it over and over and over so I probably have written fifteen plus books 15 or 17 books and the 18th getting ready to come out in April well guess what that's my knowledge and wisdom and understanding on paper I'm not a guru I don't know everything but I know what I know and what I know someone else may not know because we walk to different paths in life so guess what those books will produce passive income in every book is like owning a house it's like real estate except for this is intellectual property that is real estate and guess what with this book I don't have to fix the roof I don't have to fix the AC I don't have to pay to take a tenant to court so it actually becomes better than real estate than my real estate investments and so yes I have a real estate investment company and I'm in that space and pursuing that space but I realize me just using my mind I'm able to produce books and courses that produce it once and I don't have to manage it anymore and so that's what I mean by your brand what is in your gifts I created a course called entrepreneurship with purpose because if you notice one thing about me everything I do is about purpose so like when you come on YouTube it may be somebody may have a channel that's you know teaching you how to sew let me teach you how to solve and if sewing is therapeutic and it's helping you manage your stress is helping you cool down and guess what that lesson is purposeful but if it's something like let's say somebody playing video games if that video game is a distraction and it's taking you away from what you need to be focusing on then that's not purpose base so purpose based entrepreneurship is doing something or creating something that is helping make someone else's life better so that's why I made the course entrepreneurship with purpose because it's important to me that what I do to earn a living is purposeful I don't want to sell something that's not gonna make your life better but is just something to sell so this what you have to think about in your brand and I have a lot of clients now that's coming to me and hire me not for relationships but for personal branding to identify their gifts and to build their brand build their business and it's a lot of fun and one thing I've realized is that every single person has something inside of them that they could be earning a living from or if not a living at least supplemental income and so I want you to think about that and understand that when you think about branding create something that you cannot be fired from I know bloggers who were in college or who were working and they said hey I want to take and I want to start blogging about celebrity stuff celebrity gossip now that's not purposeful work because it's not making anybody's life better and it could actually hurt the celebrity's life but it's something that is created that they can't be fired from and these bloggers you see you see these bloggers you know you see the gossip sites that these founders of these sites make the ones once they hit they're making a quarter million two hundred and fifty thousand into the millions you know like up to ten million dollars a year from blogging some blogging celebrity gossip some blogging about fashion some lifestyle blogging which kind of covers a lot of stuff and then going from blogging to vlogging meaning on YouTube shooting videos going through their life and making hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars and so I say that to say that is something they cannot be fired from and although the industry may change because they figured out how to use it social media and the internet they'll be able to adapt to the industry and there always be a way to earn a living from your brand so understand that you have to identify your gifts and when you are living life especially if you're single and waiting identify your gifts then you can identify your passions and then you can see if you can marry the two if you can marry your gifts with your passions so a gift for me is writing not necessarily perfect grammar but being able to convey my thoughts on paper without getting writer's block so my last book that you read make it work I wrote it it's a 300 page book I wrote it in 6 days so if I can write a 300 page book in 6 days and it actually blesses someone's life that means writing is a gift so that is a gift but it's also a passion I really like writing so guess what I can marry my gift which is writing with my passion which is writing and then identify a career path which is being an author or a blogger I'm also a ghostwriter I'm also author consultant so now just from one gift I'm able to create four or five six streams of income things that I can do but inside of one of those things like writing books you're able to create countless streams of income because I could right a hundred books so I say that to say if I wanted to I could write a book a week and I could produce 52 books a week if I wanted to so 10 years I would have five hundred and twenty books if I am living to see that I could be eating off of that and then pass it down to my children and my children's children you see what I'm saying so it's something inside of you but see not only doing it but then teaching it the reason why I teach it and the reason why I created Tony Gaskins academy.com because I came to the place and I said look I'm working hard but I want to be able to earn while I'm sleeping so I created Tony Gaskins academy.com because I do the work one time and then I'm able to help tens of thousands of people and they made by it the courses sell at 2:00 a.m. 3:00 a.m. 4:00 a.m. I'm sound asleep but someone is up and burning the midnight oil and they're pursuing their dreams or someone is in another part of the world pursuing their dreams and they say look okay you a step ahead of me so you've seen some things you learn some things that I need to know so let me invest in myself and also invest in you by taking this course the birth to your book course to how to become a speaker course the Entrepreneurship with purpose course so that's why I created Tony Gaskins academy.com and the reason why is because when I got started I was looking up and I said ok who's doing what I want to do and I'm trying to identify these people and I found Zig Ziglar I found Jim Rohn I found Les Brown I found you know all these different individuals none of them had a online video course that was marketed that was readily available they had books but I don't necessarily like to read I like to listen versus reading they had podcast and he had YouTube video so I consumed all of that but it wasn't very practical that I could really just put one foot in front of the other so I feel the void with my academy for those who would come after me and that's how I want you to think when you're thinking about branding and if you learn at one time if you don't know it that's why there are consultants to teach you what you don't know I getting on YouTube I wrote youtubers who do one-on-one sessions and I'm paying money to learn how to use YouTube so I take their knowledge I use it but I also learn things for myself so therefore now I'm gonna create a YouTube course based on the things that I've learned for the people who support me and want to share their wisdom and knowledge on YouTube for other coaches and speakers and authors who want to start YouTube and Bill YouTube I don't know everything I don't have a whole lot of you know subscribers but what I do have is more than zero so guess what the person with zero can learn something from me especially if he or she is an author or life coach or what-have-you so this is what I mean this is how you gotta think so I want you to understand I'm on here now you know I'm doing these videos and I'd be free-flowing and having fun with you at the same time trying to enlighten you on some things but I run businesses because I work full-time for myself and I got kill my family and I want them to have the absolute best that Earth has to offer so I don't try to you know shortcut I'm really trying to build business and so think about that and then lastly your body now it's two sides to the body and I'm trying to her I'm getting uphill in these he's here now this is this painful it's hard for me to talk about because people get so sensitive about the body and I noticed even when I met my wife my mom you know my mom had me and then she had my sister I think well my dad got with her she told us she was like 105 or 115 and she's the type of person that she will you know happy-go-lucky she have a lot of fun like she don't she's not sensitive so now you know after she had us she started put on that baby weight and then she kept it on and kept piling on top of it and so she got to be what lunch to us you me is some other words that she may use or people may use but she was like okay it is what it is she's kind of joke about it I never ever saw her depressed about it and she said she's reading a script shot the Bible but they say something the wisdom of the Lord Faton if the bones of Spirit of the Lord fatten if the bones or something she would laugh about it and so my dad sometimes he would joke around with her like she said on his thigh remember one time she sat on his leg he said get off my leg bout to break my leg and she bust out laughing so when I met my wife I wanted to have the same type of you know relationship and be able to joke about whatever and I kind of said something similar to that one time did not apply to my wife really and she got offended and she was really and I was like oh okay so you can't say nothing about a woman body which always confused me when women ask the question do I look big in this do I look this in this and it's like oh no absolutely not you know and it throws me off so I realized it's a sensitive topic but this what you have to realize your body is your temple it don't mean it has to be perfect but what it means that you got to take care of it it's on the workout side of things you got to work out side of things then you got the lying down with other human side of things it's on the workout side of things you have to be doing something you've got to be being active and let's say you can't be active if you can't be active at that time let's say you have a surgery or you know you just scheduling or what have you then you need to be eating right and a lot of times what we do is we eat out of guilt we eat out of stress we eat out of frustration worried you know we eat all these different reasons and I heard I was listening to exactly he said he was like 260 pounds or something like that and he wrote a book and he said that he was like 150 or 160 or something in the book and he was like man his boobs getting ready to come out and I wanted to tour with it so he was like I had to get this weight off so he said he started just like a lap or half a mile and then a mile I did a little little more and a little more and a little more before you know what he had went from like 260 to like 150 or whatever it was lost like a hundred pounds and completely totally different and he said one thing I learned is that I've never eaten anything by accident and I was like wow that's deep as they never eaten anything by accident and so I was like man so that started to hit me you know and I think about that because I come from a place where you eat what you have to eat and you try to make it the best you can so we grew up eating chitlins you know all kind of swine you know you know kind of fry food fried pork chops it just tasted better than grill or whatever so fried pork chops fried chicken you might have a fried chicken and grits for breakfast you might have you know fried chicken for lunch or fried pork chop for dinner when you get your little money then you just eating fast food all the time so for me even growing up it was like pizza Monday McDonald's Tuesday Burger King Wednesday you know my mom she worked 40 hours a week and I was hurt reasoning for not cooking so and then if it wasn't net you eating a bologna sandwich is like what is Bologna you know spam sandwich what is spam you know all this different stuff and processed foods and it's just ruining your body so I watched my whole family like my dad siblings I don't think any of them made it past 70 and majority of them have died before the age of 65 and now everybody has diabetes everybody has diabetes everybody's on medication or shots and it's all because a lack of knowledge a lack of understanding how the body works oh when you got poor schooling and you're not being told you don't take science class and you don't know what the body is doing with the sugars and you know all the carbs and all the salt that you're consuming you're just consuming it because it tastes good it tastes good because it's a little flavorful and you're stressed out and so that salt and that sugar it makes you feel better because of how its interacting with your brain and what is what's going on in your body but it's tearing you up and it's weighing you down it's breaking you down but if you don't understand scientifically what the liver does what the heart does and that's what I started to realize as I was growing I was like they never talked to us about in school where I went what soda does if you drink soda you know five cokes a day they never told us what it does they might talk about sugar or whatever but tell us about what is this oily greasy food doing inside of my body they never told us that and so you're just doing what feels good and you're feeding yourself based on your stress your worry your pain just you know your desires just to have some flavor on your tongue and so guess what it's adding to your body and think about this let's think about it like if you are if you see someone and their 50 pounds overweight you're gonna have a certain level of attraction to them if they if they lose those 50 pounds he or she is gonna look like a totally different person and you're gonna have a whole nother level of attraction to them so for one just on the connection side you have to take care of your body just for attractiveness and then at the same time which is even more important is the health side so if you want to be there for your spouse or for your children you got to be feeding yourself the right way so that you can live a long and productive life because if you're not focused on that you're not gonna live a long and productive life so think about this now this all the foods are you can do all the research in the world you can learn all about that also feeding the brain learn about how your body works and what you need to be optimal so that you can perform at the highest level with your body and what you're putting in your body and it's a struggle it is a stroke I love love Mila soda you know love me some processed food you know love just because that's how I was raised my mama went cooking and she might cook once a week once every two weeks and that was spaghetti you know spaghetti with with a toast jelly bread and so it wasn't like I was eating you know vegetables and grilled chicken and so that becomes a habit and so it's one generation killing the next and then you kill him the next and I seen even in my household we had to get it together because you're doing what's quit you're doing what's easy so my son allergic to everything so he could basically just eat meat and vegetables but if you don't take the time to cook grilled chicken and veg to then what you're throwing in there you know some some chicken nuggets at the back that you he'd know and so we had to get it together and check ourselves and say listen all the artists processed food all the hot dogs could end up causing a lot of damage we got to do better and I had to sit down with my wife and say look I know it's fast I know it's easy I know you weren't raised to be a cook and you weren't taught you know how to do this and neither was i but we don't have to make some changes for the longevity for the health of our children and for some people just common sense but if this common sense it doesn't mean that every other area of self development is common sense so you can't look at somebody and judge somebody because we do what we were taught and that's what I've learned I can't judge anybody who sins differently than me you know who lives different than than me because we just do what we were taught now on the other side of it y'all gotta forget them Cyrus you hit them sirens among them downtown on the other side of this you have lying down with people so now this affects your spirit it affects you know your mind but it also affects your body so one part of this body I further developed this later in the beginning I was just talking about working out and eating right but later I started to realize one part of the body is who you give your body to now who you give your body to also means your mouth your mouth mm-hmm because a lot of people say oh well we not you know we're not having sex we're jazz but we do oral and I'm like that's worse that's worse that's just as bad if not worse and I have the enlightened women and say listen if you doing oral that's a man will let a five dollar person on the street corner do that but will not sleep with that person so if he is not sleeping with you but letting you do that he sees you even less than so there ain't a compliment that they don't mean you doing better so if you're gonna be in that kind of scene that just is bad so when you are especially single in waiting stop giving your body away don't don't get your mouth away don't get any entry or exit away first for a feeling to please somebody that's the filing the bed is the filing your spirit is breaking you down is creating soul times it's ruining you do not do not listen to me do not under any circumstances be giving your body away single and if you married and don't be an adultery and as far as the mind and also your body don't be feeding into too much lusts so you got to think about this you got to think about this and be diligent about it so when it comes to your body make sure that you're eating right make sure that you're working out I realize on the working out it's no excuses I just have my wife ordered me this mirror I saw I was scrolling online on my mentor that life Instagram page which father's on Instagram is my mentor us eight like United States America of America USA my mentor us a phylum only Instagram and I was on there and I saw this mirror and it's a workout mirror and it's like a mirror is stand up and it connect to the Internet and you pay a monthly fee and you workout and I told my wife I said maybe get that get that order that flow and I'll put it up put it in our gym at the house so that I could go in there and workout in case I can't make it to the actual gym I could go at home and get in front of this mirror and workout and I guess what if that mirror is not in the budget if you don't want that mirror if it don't make no sense to you and I'm praying they don't become a clothes hanger for me but you can just do bodyweight squats you can do sit-ups push-ups whatever you could jog in place so understand that you could do something right at your house before you go to work after work you could do something they'll be working on your body and then at the on the flip side of that is make sure that you're not giving your body away that you're protecting your body that you're saving your body and that you put boundaries around your body so that you are doing the right thing with your body okay see the helicopters it is Tony Gasca thank you so much for watching this I wanted to drop this on you not realized this realize this with these videos if you got to this point put be blessed in the comments I just want to see you hit the like button realize this if I'm gonna be doing these videos 300 videos in a year that's a whole lot of topics so not every topic is gonna be you know sexy and tantalizing and juicy but it's gonna be these topics like this that could be boring that you actually able to move your life forward so just commit it to yourself work to watch a video even if it's not mine you interchange it with whoever you're watching or listening to just to feed your life I got some events coming up make sure you check the links in the description if you end up hiring a coach on my mentor let me know send me a message put it in the comments let me know that you had a session if if a coach missed the session remember I told you just email this new to a lot of these coaches like getting clients they got certified and didn't have a way to get clients and that's why I created the site so understand that be mindful of that and just reschedule sort of flying off the handle get my refund I need a refund right now because you know everybody human as things happen it is Tony Gaskins god bless you we'll talk soon and hopefully the sound was ok to hear today you know doing the best I can so y'all bear with me we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 56,014

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Id: RoDFXUz8yaw

Length: 43min 54sec (2634 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 03 2020