Feeling lonely and unwanted while single?

hey Tony Gaskins here now been getting this question in different ways and the first way I saw it was actually about feeling lonely and unwanted and so I'm hoping that that those words are okay for you know YouTube but think about this and when you are single and especially a lot of single women have been writing me in single women who haven't started a family so sometimes you feel your clock ticking but what you have to understand about single life I remember probably around 2013 I wrote a book called single it's not a curse if any of you have read it let me know and in there what I wanted to address is because I was the type that always went from relationship to relationship to relationship and then next thing you know I was married and when I looked back I was like you know what I've never been single since I started dating started dating at 15 and I'm like I've never been single and and especially single as an adult to know better to know what I need to do and that's why I wrote single it's not a curse because I thought it was a curse I thought it was something bad and I think a lot of people think that is something wrong if you're single and you're single for too long and you don't realize it when you're single that it's nothing wrong with it but then when you're always in a relationship you're like wow what could I have done and that's what I wrote about in single it's not a curse and I can't remember everything in there but I remember I believe I put the 5 else in there which probably had to do with faith working on your faith family spending time with your family being around them friends hanging out with your friends and really building and loving your friends finances working on you your career your job and fitness so I will not forget remember those five so you're gonna have to rewind to catch them cuz I just kind of made them up again off top of my head cuz that's how I write my books too so I'm pretty sure told was five it could have been something else in there or swapped out but think about this a lot of times we don't focus on what is important when we're single because we are just looking outward you're looking outward and you're instead of looking within you're looking around and saying why doesn't somebody choose me why doesn't anybody want me why am I not good enough but instead of looking within and saying okay what do I need to do that right now that I may not be able to do when I'm in a committed relationship I was talking to one of my clients and you know she is building her business has I don't know 12 staff she's single has 12 staff she she travels the country she's opening up offices in different countries and and she's single and she she actually has two children that she have had and she is homeschooling them and I told her I said listen this is but she's looking for love she's ready for love and I said no well what you're doing with the way you travel the way you building your business the way you expanding your company you got all these staff now you got all these clients that you're servicing you have you know your family you homeschool and I say okay to travel every week that's the that's the discussion that has to be had in a relationship when you get a husband that may have to change because he may not agree with you traveling every week homeschooling that's it discussion that has to be had with the husband because he may not agree that homeschooling is the best route for children so all of these things have to be addressed when you're in a relationship that's what you have to realize about like for me it's probably a bunch of stuff that I would do that I cannot do in a relationship because in a marriage because I am also responsible for more people than just myself is things that my wife probably would do and that she cannot do just on her own willy-nilly without us sitting down and having a conversation so when you are in a relationship the trajectory of your life literally changes you have to understand it's not always a bad thing for me it's been a great thing for me the stuff that I would be doing if I was single probably would have me so just spread so thin that in a time like this when when the market true I probably would be you know in there up on the water inhaling all the water need a life vest and and guess what I'm looking around and a lot of men single man that's what they're doing I'm saying single man with three four five supercars it's like who in the world me dad the cars you know worth more than the house and it's like and really cars and worth more than the house because the car is depreciated but when you got a wife you can't do that because you got somebody who with some sense that's gonna hold you accountable I say hold on what are you doing what are you doing what are you doing why do you need a Lamborghini or Ferrari a Porsche a Maserati and a g-wagen what's necessary doing all of these payments so the same thing happens for single men and women is you are able in this time to build you so you got to focus on and it's what I want you to you have to focus on building you so why do you feel lonely you are equating loneliness with not lying down in the bed with someone or having someone to say I love you to and they say I love you back in a romantic way Yorick waiting loneliness with the lack of that instead of understanding that you can be in a relationship and still be lonely you could be in a relationship it's a lot of women in a relationship today and are still lonely so this what you have to realize in order to not be lonely you have to understand that you have to create your life so you got a sit down today my wife bought me a day planner you got a sit down the day and you have to plan your tomorrow so what that means is you you plan your tomorrows today and you outline your life so some of your days will look exactly the same let's say Monday through Friday may look exactly the same Saturday and Sunday may look the same because but it's two different type of days we're just doing the traditional work schedule Monday through Friday you work and Saturday and Sunday you off now some of you you work from home you got your own business so your day is gonna look different may look different every day but what you have to do is plan out your days if you watch my videos you've heard me say this before and what you want to do in there is you want to make sure that every week you're getting out and you're doing something so if let's say your night is Friday night and your night could be whatever day but let's say on Friday this Friday I may be going to top golf next Friday I'm going to I fly next Friday I'm at Dave and Buster's net fly day Friday I'm at the theater watching watching the play that's in town the next Friday I'm at the orchestra and that Friday I'm taking ice-skating lessons you see what I'm saying so every Friday that she'll get out and about and you can buy yourself because you working on your your money you have your job you just got you a second stream of income you're investing in yourself let's say every day from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. is your self investment time let's say you take and you you won't own any guys in the Academy calm you got your course birth to your book so you one hour a day you studying you taking notes use you and then the next thing you do after you've finished the birthday book course now from 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. every day you writing your book you write in your book you got your outline you write in your book so you're investing in yourself that's your business what you're building and get your side hustle that's what you're doing in addition to that you need to have your recreation time like I talked about but then you're gonna have some passion time so I was doing piano lessons I'm married but I still look for a passion time I still have the same type of schedule so every week we trying to go somewhere we somewhere they even bought some movies it's a skating rink somewhere at watching a play doing something and I bought a piano and hired a piano Layton was doing me some lessons my schedule got too crazy and I had to pull back but now my wife just showed me that it's lessons on on YouTube piano lesson on YouTube guess what I just did just downloaded me out that teach you how to sing teach how to sing on key yeah I'm going to be on that out beyond that hidden all of that this is what you have to do you develop yourself as a single person you should not be sitting home idle doing nothing like you need to have you a schedule like your schedule need to look like Michelle Obama schedule the just how you would imagine Michelle Obama's schedule look that's what your schedule needs to look like you need to be active especially listen to me now especially if you single without kids if you sing with kid you have no excuse don't be talking about oh I work too much are they working me to her okay buy your new job or start your own job save all the money from your job start your own business and that's what you have to focus on so you out and about Wednesday night you at church Thursday night that's the life group from the church where the singles meet Friday night you out exploring the rural if you go on Airbnb of course not right now but you're gonna Airbnb they have experiences on there you go on your local news station on their website they're gonna have all the events that's happening on Saturday and Sunday you go to the shrimp Festival on on therapy Sunday you're going to such-and-such concert who in town and guess what when you single with with no kids you able to just focus on you take care of you now if you have kids now your story is different and you just got to make adjustments but even in that time you take it and you investing in life you investing in life see a lot of people just got all this crazy savings look that ain't gonna do you no good they're gonna do you no good cuz tomorrow ain't promised live your life yeah you're like if I would say listen tomorrow got enough problems of this on we're about today take care of the day so when you look at your bank account and you say okay I could go out here to this cooking class thirty dollars go take your cooking class learn how to make that Indian rice learn how to make that curved chicken you know develop yourself and when you out and about guess what it's so much to do when you out and about you meeting people so you're gonna meet new people you're gonna be on the phone when next thing you know you're gonna be on my mentor dot life mentor because you're the met so many people and you coaching them you like got it turn this into my profession let me go ahead and become up get certified on Tony guys academy.com then jump on this my mentor died life and I'm at home now talking to people for hours for sessions a day hundred dollars out $400 $400 a day twenty eight hundred dollars a week four hundred times seven what's that is that twenty eight four times seven twenty hundred forgive me my mouth off but that's why I think I'm going with it yeah twenty eight hundred dollars a week as a life coach coaching for people a day for sessions day hundred dollars an hour you see what I'm saying just by getting out and about and you mingling and you meeting people you're gonna discover yourself you're gonna see other options and opportunities and now you know you don't feel lonely because you busy and you you serving yourself you serve in the world you active and that's what you have to realize when it comes down to feeling unwanted what you have to realize is that it's never that you're unwanted it's just that you're unmatched and what that means is you are as a human being you are a complex individual there's a lot of caveats and nuances to you it's a lot that goes into you who you are so what you gotta realize is that you are not just someone who could be just match with anybody you're not gonna have people come in a dime a dozen it's not gonna work like that because you are a human and humans are unique everybody see what when you see everybody in relationship a whole lot of people just settle for whatever they can get but you are not willing to settle so when you're not willing to settle it's going to take longer because you are unique and you need somebody as you Niq as you and y'all come together you fit like puzzle pieces so here's the thing in this season of working on you and remember I told you about the three B's the brain the brand and the body write it down see y'all need to stop just listen now you got writing this stuff down listen back to it if you drive on some listen to this again when you when you're stationary you can write brain that's that that covers your faith your relationship with God that covers reading online courses audio books reading books retreats seminars one-on-one coaching through my mentor taught life that covers all of that the the brand this is your career that you working at if you're there and you love it you're trying to climb the ladder so you add new skills new certifications new trainings you learn how to win friends and influence people as the the title says I've never read the book but you learn how to shake hands how to smile how to network how to bring joy to the office how to light up the room when you step in without being fake without being extra without doing the most but you learn how to have people gravitate towards you and appreciate your energy and your presence in the room so they want to give you a raise they want unis walking in their salty face that see that's the problem everything affects everything so right here in the brand you're walking in your job is play oh my oh I can't stand don't look at me you know and that's how you treat people so guess what now your job miserable now you're not getting a raise now you have been out 15 years still making the same $0.50 you've been making the whole time because you're not word devil raised because you're not adding value you're not bettering yourself so that if you're gonna be there be the best at it don't just be there if you're gonna be that be the best unless you got you a plan or exit strategy that gonna get you up out of there when I was working on my job I working as a counselor in a group home myself and I'm gonna get y'all five years that's what I said to myself I'm gonna be here five years five year I said I spoken out loud I told my co-workers while I was there I went on Oprah I went on Tyra Banks I wrote my book I had me some speaking engagements I started working with the NBA while I was a counselor in a group home you hear me making nine dollars and 50 cent after I went on Oprah and Tyra I remember a girl saying well he must st. doing too good he's still working here England they'll be Wishman so I could hear and and I remember my coworker guy from the islands he was like man you think you're ever gonna be able to leave this job cuz you're still here you know you wrote your book you're speaking but you still here I said listen my time coming so that's how you have to have your attitude on your brand and then on your body remember what this talk about on your body it's not just superficial so yes you need to have your workout routine okay I don't got me one of these things it's a mirror and I put it in in my home gym it's a mirror you could put this any way you put it in your bedroom put not and I get costs a little did cause a little something so you don't need this but just to show you you could work out at home you could be doing bodyweight squats you could be running in place I literally did imaginary jump rope because I couldn't find my jump rope I did am a generic jump rope jumping up and down three minutes three minute round like a box of rest one minute then jumping another three I did seven rounds of that I could barely walk the next day that thing was a real workout I was drenched in sweat at home no personal training no gym just fake jump rope now if that's gonna be too much weight on your knees which I feel like it was to my weight on my knees then you could be doing bodyweight squats that might be too much weight on your knee you could be throwing your arms and out scratching do what you need to do jog in place walk in place you can walk in place so yes the body does include working out but it also is talking about how you eat make sure you're not eating too much greasy fried unhealthy food but then the other part of the body is make sure you're not giving your body away make sure you're not lying down with anybody remember don't be out there make sure that you are protecting your body your body is your temple and you are preparing your body for marriage and here's the thing you gotta be diligent and focused on that the three B's the brain the brain the body now I made that up okay I put them in three categories you don't find some stuff and you're like that might not fit in one of those categories you add you another category that's totally fine that's what you're supposed to do but when you're doing that guess what it's not that and let me help you understand something this was this what I means to understand when you're feeling unwanted so let's say you meeting people and you're not what they're looking for you're not where you need to be for one what you have to realize is you may be too good for the people you've met that's why having a schedule and getting out and doing more being active every day of the week it's going to increase the amount of people you meet so you're gonna meet 50 people in a week instead of meeting five people so if you meet five people your chances of meeting someone on your level is much smaller if you meet 50 people now your chances become greater if out of five people one person is worth a shot then now out of 50 people now that's ten options you have a week because you doing something every day like in our life we're doing something every day even married with kids every day is something on the schedule every day after school after work is something on the schedule you see the baseball soccer training at the eat at the play is something on the schedule and so that's what you have to realize you're going to it's not that you unwanted you unmatched and what you're just not meeting your match because you're not meeting enough people so you got to have your schedule get out more you're gonna meet more people but now here's the thing that's not tape because I see a lot of people get complacent like oh somebody gotta love me for me there's got to love me the way I am no nobody gonna love you for who you are meaning in your settled complacent state people want to love you at your best you because you're not even yourself if you're not diligent focused consistent and actually doing the work you're not yourself that's not you that's lazy you that's complacent you that's fearful you that's doubt for you that's negative you that's not you so you can't expect somebody to accept the sorry version of you they want you to be you be who you will call to be be who you are capable of being so let me let me help you understand this if if a person is going on the work force they're going out into the corporate world if they have a GED what's available tool in the corporate world and the corporate jobs if they have a bachelor's what's available to them if they have a master's what's available time if they have a Doctorate what's available tour if you get in a job and you have a GED you get your bachelor's what happens your pay goes up you get your masters what happens your pay goes up you get your doctorate what happens your pay goals let's use the schoolhouse for example you know you have your bachelors you could be a teacher if you have your masters you could be a principal you see what I mean and so you the more you add to yourself the more attractive you become okay now look at me right here alright now you see me right here got me a love too much on me you know and and really got me much here now at me at me a rip right there at Mill extra rip right there okay at Mill extra rip right here okay not give lift Mont right here now give me a little more a little more girth you know little more now I guess what's gonna happen if I do that and let's say I'm single I'm getting not a tournament he is I'm turning my head now if I'm looking like who shot John I forgot to kill him but then I take and I get myself together and I and I told myself bill myself if I was turning three heads now I'm turning ten you see what I mean so when you it is true when you add yourself not listening to it if you meet somebody in the entry level at the job you look at them a certain way if they do supervisor you look at a totally different if you meet somebody and they make 50k working for somebody else and they could be laid off in a time like this because the company can't afford to pay them but then you meet somebody who makes 75k 50k working for somebody else that they could be laid off but 25k from their side hustle you see them totally different so here's the thing to come back feeling unwanted when you work on your when you build yourself with everything you add every training every certificate every stream of income every pound you lose or gain if you need the game every muscle you develop every language you learn every thing that you add to what you are to who you are everything that adds to you that you add you add value and when you add value you increase your opportunities in every aspect of life so it's like this I do what I do and I'm happy doing what I do I love doing what I do but guess what if I went back to college and I got my degree my bachelor's and then I went and got my masters and I became a clinical psychologist then guess what I will have a TV show the next day but right now in the space that I'm in is although I've been on TV as a life coach they're not really giving life coaches shows because they want you to be certified accredited licensed to give real-life advice even though the people advice that they given is not even a life coach to give that advice that the clinical psychologists and the licensed therapist giving on the TV shows but guess what they the network wants the person to have a title because they know that those titles that's not self-made that's not man-made that's not self proclaimed they know that those titles mean something to the world at large now I see these couples therapist people yeah not no more my pinky no more then that therapist no and ain't taking no shot I'm just telling I lived I've been in the trenches I do this and I remember sitting with a network and it was like well suck this person right here he can only you have only have access to him if you come on the show you know how do you compare I said people have access to me because I do this in real life he just do it on TV I do this in real life so guess what if I went and did that then I can get a show but that's not that's not my desire I don't desire to have a show I don't desire to be on TV and I earn more than the person on the TV with the business that I created but if you in a relationship if you single and you saying hey if I do this if I can get my body to where I want it to be if I can add my side hustle if I can build myself if I go and get my bachelor's if in my income and my industry is gonna go up see my clients not gonna pay me more just because I go get a degree because they see what I know but if you in a field that if you add a bachelor's it's gonna earn you more money then guess what that actually broadens your dating pool your dating pool just got bigger with your bachelors with your masters with your certification with your side hustles with your additional streams of income when you write your book you actually become more attractive because now you've done something that less than 1% of professionals do when you write your book when you start your nonprofit organization which understands nonprofit does not mean that you broke because nonprofit means that you can raise money or receive grants when your nonprofit organization your tax-exempt with your tax-exempt status you can receive donations that are attacks right off to the donor you can also receive grants federal grants you're eligible to receive then when you have 501c3 guess what to get to that place having your 501c3 only gonna cost you around $1000 total or less so now you $4,000 you didn't created something that serves your purpose meaning that you helping mentor those young folks that you want to mentor you helping women you know change transition in their life leave that no-good situation and get into a good situation you raising the money from the doctors and the lawyers in your area and let's say you raise a hundred thousand dollars in a year from doctors lawyers to pro athletes from your city the the pastors the well-to-do people you raise a hundred thousand guess what under a hundred thousand with no questions asked you can pay yourself as the executive director up to forty percent your board votes on this they're gonna vote in your favor yeah pay yourself forty thousand now you just replace your day job with judge nonprofit forty thousand paying you sixty thousand that's your operating that's what you you know operating out of that's what you paying for your van to help the lady get into her first and last month's rent and you may only have enough to help ten women a year but you serving your purpose guess what but when you meet somebody and you tell them what you do is totally different when you say oh I push pencils for such and such company up there and they could give them a pink slip any day and I have to be filing unemployment it's that sound totally different then ah yes I'm the executive director of each one reach one and what we do is we assist women transitioning from a bad situation to a better situation okay well my pleasure to meet you so yeah not to be forward or anything but are you seeing someone actually I'm not hmm are you open to meeting new people yeah if the right person comes along hmm wait my name is Sutton sue and I would love to take your numbers so I can reach out and we can connect and maybe get to know one another just like that you same scent but it sound totally different to him because guess what he might be doing the same thing he might have the brother organization to your sister organization you see what I'm saying he might be a grant writer he might be in the department that approved the grants he might be in a situation that he has the funds to invest in business to donate to your situation he has the connections to bring out the the bigwigs to your gala when you wanna have your night to raise the money for what you're doing you see when you elevate you become more desirable because you're working on you so this is what I need you to understand is that the key to the city is self love see a lot of times when you single with no kids or you single and you in waiting or you a single mother or a single father whatever it have you a lot of times you just sitting there waiting on somebody to come rescue you know in this single life you need to become the superhuman you need to become the superhero by working on you and then guess what like in Avengers superheroes a line superheroes a line to take over to do their thing so when you elevate because he when you right here and you you okay with the your body not being where you want it to be your work situation your career life not being where you want it to be your your wardrobe not being where you want it to be your money not being where you want it to be when you right there and all you doing is just crying and complaining good you know I just thought I just feel like I feel like God just forgot it be you know it's like it was like I got a degree okay I have a job okay I have somewhere to live I have my old place but it's like God has forgotten me ain't God sitting under life oh he the law so he he called on himself he like she's sitting out there crying and I told her but write your book this man over here she watching him on YouTube he didn't wrote 17 books and he don't even have a degree like she does he he didn't have his own house at the age that she's at he had what but he was obedient and he did what I told him to do and I can move in his life but she's sitting down there crying and complaining he calling me but she's not listening she waiting on me I'm waiting on her I can't send her her husband right now because she gonna be barefoot and pregnant but it's I need her to start the organization the foundation that's going to help heal lives touch and change people I need her to write the book on her story that I told her to write I need her to birth that her pain birth her purpose I need her to identify her guilt and use her guilt so that he sitting over here he working he working he worked it and he is ready he is looking this she is his wife but she's not ready so I can't move because she's not on his level because he's not a complainer he's in the gym five days week he has four streams of income he works corporate but he also has started two businesses his body looked like i chiseled him with my hand this what boss hand do what the Lord said and she's sitting over here crying but she's not working so no I'm not finna put my precious son with her cuz she not on his level and this the thing she giving herself more credit than she deserved she think because she got a bachelor's master's doctorate degree got her own place on a call that she perfect and she ready no you still need to produce and do what you need to do in your purpose she think cuz she wrote one book she no I told you you got five books in you and you can write them books in two years she think cuz she got a nonprofit organization she read no I told you you also got a LLC a for-profit company that's on the other side where you consulting people teaching them how to do what you have done and you charge an M 5000 for consulting coming to your LLC and then your nonprofit is receiving donations cuz he that's what my son Tony did without a mentor without a team without a degree so if he could do it I know she could do it but she's not doing it because she's not listening and see this the thing she keep crying out to me but she's spending enough time in my word with an open heart ready to receive instead she watching a lot of house girlfriends and lust and hip-hop and blues anatomy and scandal and power which is weakness she spent all her time reading the blogs instead of in my word trying to get to know me and my attributes and my work ethic and what I need her to be doing you see what I'm saying so the problem is not out here it's in here what are you doing and guess what if you and see the last time you want to do the bare minimum you want to check off the list well I got a bachelor's I got a master's I got a doctor I don't wrote my book I started one company out I'm doing this I'm doing that guess what if if he's if your man is Dylan Kane it's still more for you to do just like they say when the student is ready the teacher will appear when the wife is ready the husband will appear when the husband is ready the wife will appear you have to get ready you got to keep working until you arrive and when you arrive it's still gonna be work to do but nothing is going to come to you if you sitting and you crying and you complaining you should not like listen you got to make your single life so amazing that somebody got to convince you to be in a relationship that this person you meet have to be so OnPoint so prepared so ready that it convinces you to get in a relationship because your single life is that amazing because guess what is people doing it you in in you got an excuse for everything what Tony I can't afford that do something every day I can't afford piano lesson I can't afford well that's why you need to be adding value that's why you need to be working on your mind that's why you need to take that tax return and stop buying shoes and purses and clothes and invest it in a certification so that you can add another stream of income that's why you need to do that well my thyroid my thyroid is messed up so that's why I'm having issues with my body okay well that's why you need to be doing the research and you need to be finding out what you can do to work with your situation and that's why you need to be reading the books to get the confidence and to get the knowledge so that wherever your body is if that's the best that you absolutely can be and you have make and you are making no excuses you are 100% confident in who you are because when you 100% confident in who you are it radiates it you glow you glow and everybody knows it and regardless of where your body is if you 95 pound or if you 395 pounds in a 95 100 115 hundred and twenty pound one could feel insecure because she don't feel like she has enough booty junk in the trunk not dies whatever you know nothing whatever she could feel insecure a woman who is on the other side of the scale could feel insecure because she feel like she have enough despairing she got enough to share with somebody and so both feeling insecure both unconfident so one wanna go under to add one wanna go under to take away but if you don't shift your mindset even when you go under and and you go to dr. Tuscaloosa or dr. this or that New Jersey winter haven Armidale Lakeland it wherever you go guess what you're gonna come up and still lack confidence still gonna be on your body because you lack confidence because you didn't feed your mind with the books with the courses with the one-on-one coaching on my mentor that life you didn't change your mindset so when you get coffee and to see that could be the missing piece you may have you you may say Tony I have done everything that my soul my spirit that God has told me to do I've done everything but yet still he is not here or she is not here if you've done everything didn't guess what it's some lack in here it's what you're speaking it's what you're believing is what you're internalizing so every day I wake up and I mean I'm not looking for a partner I'm looking to take care of my family I wake up and I say I'm a money magnet I'm a money magnet money coming blessings coming opportunities coming I got more than enough the Lord is gonna provide more than enough bless pressed down shaken together and running over I'm a bond and I have more than I need and more still coming I got enough despair I got enough to share I got enough to be a blessed I speak that I wake up speaking that is hard and it's tough being an entrepreneur and it's hard to make money and it it ain't an opportunity without a college degree and because I'm country and because I'm black and because I don't have a mentor ain't gonna do nothing no ain't speaking all that I'm speaking life I'm speaking positivity and guess what it's just overflowing it's over from it's coming you got the shift your mindset and when you shift your mindset you're going to attract what's yours you got to get up and you got to walk out and say I'm getting ready to meet my wife today meet my wife today or my husband walking up to me today my husband walking up to me today and if it doesn't happen you don't lose any enthusiasm the next day the day to day I'm gonna meet my husband so guess what think about this think about your countenance think about your face okay think about right now say these two things to you say say to yourself the men aim nothing these sorry Mandy every man is a dog you can't trust him further and you could see him d.min so sorry down no they left from their right they walking around looking like who shot John forgot to kill broke busted and disgusted sorry raggedy no good man we round here today say all of that okay say all of that and then imagine what countenance comes with that because that's what your fatality TV shows saying to you that's what the the gossip circle saying to you that's what you saying to you so your countenance you walking around looking like Where's Waldo so now your husband can't even your husband only want to approach you because you look spanked face you look like you smell something and it don't smell good you see what I'm saying now say to yourself I'm blessed and highly favored I am more than enough I am worthy I am loved and I'm going to attract love I know my husband is coming I know my husband looking at me right now he's looking for me right now I know what God got for me I know what God promised me because I have worked I have prepared and I am ready to receive and it is coming and I'm gonna be ready for it so guess not say all of that and now imagine your countenance and how you would look see it's one you walk around thank you that'll be all and the other one you weren't around hey how are you hey hey thank you very much hey you have a blessed day now okay you know I'm doing fine how are you oh that's good a you know a a lot down ain't that bad you a why she had so you totally different on the other side so guess what who you who do you want to connect with stank face bitter minded person or happy exuberant peaceful who do you think somebody gonna approach and in the thing about it is what's here it can't be here it can be here and this is not easy not this not easy you literally going to you may have to record the audio on your voice memo on your phone you may have to write the script record the Skrill write it down turn your voice memo turn on you turn on you love music and get you get your laptop right it's a laptop search on YouTube soundscapes hit play on your laptop or your desktop hit play or somebody phone let that little music play okay write your script that's speaking life into yourself write the script then get your cell phone with a music plan and open your voice memo open your voice memo app on your phone if you don't have a voice memo app you don't have a phone you need to get your phone a smart phone okay you got your slow phone so you need to have voice memo app on your phone and you open that and you take that piece of paper and you read to yourself I am blessed I am worthy I am more than enough I have work I have prepared and I am ready to receive my husband is looking for me and today is the day that I'm going to meet him you read your information you got your low soundscapes plan now you can create you a track now you create your track you say that every morning when you get up you could take that track and make that your alarm you can make that your ringtone you could take that track and every morning you get up you roll over if you can't make it you're alone because your phone in there yet then you roll over you grab your phone you open your memo and you hit play and you miked it and you just lay there and in that time where you want snooze you just lay there and you just let your your voice plan to you your voice plan to and you listed at three times you take your phone in the bathroom when you brushing your teeth watch me fade and you listen to that you listen to us on Mon it's you have to hear it over and over and over and it's gonna shift your countenance it's gonna shift your countenance and I know how hard it is because I'm called in two places the way I don't feel like I belong I don't feel worthy to be there and it shows it shows I remember I was a consultant I was working one of the companies I remember I accompanied multi-billion dollar company called me to be the mentor the life coach for their employees and I was there and I'm like I don't deserve to be here and this this job you know they paying me a retainer I'm like my own deserve here my own that's what I'm telling myself man I like it here I'm 31 years old I don't have a college degree how am I in here being paid by this multi-billion dollar company to mentor their employees their associates and I don't have a kind of degree I don't have I don't have a I don't have a publicist I don't have a mentor how am I here and I didn't I went thinking about the way God work and the glory of God and that he'll use the the unlikely that he'll do some things in your life that you don't even think that you deserve but that you ready for I went thinking like that and I'm walking around and I'm looking like I seen a ghost and I remember one of the working plane matira smile he wanted my job but he didn't have my job he's just working in his field in the company but he wanted my job because I just I got flew in two days a week and then got to go back home to my family so this guy he had to be there every day and so he's looking at me and he like man you mean desert appear cuz you look like your knees are to be here you look like you know who you are you look like you don't know that you got three million followers online you look like that you don't know that you have been on Oprah Tyra Banks you got yourself dead you look like you don't know the tuna roll 17 but look I didn't know that because I don't see that I don't look at it like that I didn't because I thought if I look at who I am and what God that made me it'll make me arrogant but then I had to learn you can be confident without being arrogant so yes you were bad mamma-jamma yes you blessed and highly favored yes you that amazing but you got to truly know that she stopped saying it out your mouth when you're trying to convince somebody of who you are and what you bring to the table and truly believe it in your mind in your heart see you could say it out your mouth I got this distance into this I'm this distance this is this but you don't believe it and I could tell you that because I am the same way and so that's a good problem to have because it means that you naturally humble but then it messes you up because now you become arrogant when you got to run off all of your qualities and everything that you are instead of just believing it see if you believe it you're gonna show it and you won't even have to say it people are go look up your resume people go look you up people ask around about you your reputation my dad used to all the time he said son your reputation precedes you say before you step in the room your reputation already then went round the room and shut hands now I just add to that part on there but he said your reputation precedes you and I and I never thought about even to this day I don't oftentimes think about that and my dad is September baby my wife was September baby my wife told me to say thanks you say stop feeling like you got to prove yourself stop feeling like you got to run off your list of accolades and everything you did when you get on this phone when you get on that farm they know who you are they know what you bring to the table they know what you can do understand that ask for what you need and if they can't do that keep it moving because God got something better for you that same thing applies to you in your relationship know who you are know what you bring to the table you don't have to beg nobody to love you you don't have to convince nobody to love you if they can't see who you are and what you bring to the table and whose you are keep it moving God got something better for you hey there Tony Gaskins god bless you I appreciate you I might why are we you know in this situation some days I'm gonna hit you with a video in the morning the video at night so you got some extra time to listen can't make no problem well someday I post a video and then go live around 910 p.m. or 8:00 p.m. between 8:10 p.m. you just kind of got to be checking on the community page or you could hit a button it should be a little bell notification button up under this Hill video where I say subscribe make sure you hit the subscribe button hit subscribe now you're sleeping here to subscribe and click on that bill set your notifications so you've notified when I go live or when I post because a lot of people been writing and saying Tony yeah I'm not being notified I'm not being notified I don't know what you know this Hill you two got going on right now so y'all may want to send them a little feedback I think it's three dots at the top of the video that you could click and it says submit feedback you may want to send them a little feedback the change in your notification so they could go and get their robots and stuff to do what they need to do it over Palo Alto haters Tony guys god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 100,656

Rating: 4.9272051 out of 5

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Id: GsCvldQVPOE

Length: 56min 34sec (3394 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 19 2020