The Power of Abstinence!

hey Tony Gaskins here what pop in and just talk to you a little bit more about this here keeping your legs closed now interestingly enough there's a lot of man that's starting to try this and the reason why I'm so for it is you have to realize as a relationship coach I get to see a whole lot and just like anybody else like if you a basketball coach if you a finance coach or any area that you're in when you're getting to see all of the data and how things are working out then you start to learn what needs to be done so think about this how many relationships have you been in that have worked out I had to meet over 100 women before I met my wife I had to go on over 100 days date over 100 women before I met my wife the one you hear what I'm telling you that's why I need you to understand so guess what with having that on the table getting on your back with that being on the table you create so many soul ties I've been there I've been through it so that's why I need you to understand that to find the one to meet the person that you can marry and live happily ever after with you might have to kiss a hundred toads before kissing Prince Charming so if you have sex on the table then guess what that is 10 15 30 40 50 opportunities to contract the disease to get pregnant to create a soul tie all of these things that come with this when it's on the table you risk that time and time and time again and the reason why I have to speak on this is because I was fortunate enough to make it through I was fortunate enough to make it through without a life-altering disease without having children out of wedlock and without losing completely losing myself losing my mind and being so tied to the point that it will break me down I was able to make it through with the help of God through prayer supplication consecration just reading believing living living it I was able to come through and that's why I speak on this and so I've heard people say well Tony one lady said in the comment what Tony you know it sounds good you know it sounds good to be abstinent but you didn't do it and it's like duh that's why I'm talking about it because I know the damage that it can do and I see the people who also didn't do it and they didn't get the favor and the grace and the mercy that I got and they ended up way worse in a whole nother situation but God kept me for this work that I'm doing today so that is why you have to realize that you're gonna have to make some changes like how many relationships have you had now some people say oh I haven't had any I haven't had any real relationships I coach people like that and most of my clients right now have not brought anyone in the world you know they're not a parent yet so it's a lot of people I'm finding in a good place - we're not married and not a parent so the whole world is ahead of you and you have everything so now you got to be able to go about this thing in the right way you know I coached the gentleman today you know a man who is a part of this channel says he watches every video and watches it to the end and used to be a street dude now he living right doing the right thing and building his business you know trying to stack up his money and he's young you know he's in his 20s and so here I am and he's not a father he never been married lost the relationship that he was in and he said through my videos he found out he was a grown boy and so now he's trying to move differently with the new knowledge that he has I say that to say if you wherever you are in your life it could be worse so now is the time to look at what you've gone through to look at what you've done and this is what I call watch the game film and I said watch the game film and women started giving me what can I find that movie yet you said watch the game film where's that feeling man where can I rent that when I say watch the game feeling I'm talking about looking back over your life so like athletes when you play a game on Sunday on Monday you come together as a team and you watch the film to see what you did wrong and to recognize what you did right so when I say watch the game film I'm saying look at your past relationship and evaluate it to see what you did right and what you did wrong one thing I'm finding in coaching and shout outs are everybody who watches these videos who have gone to my mentor that life and booked the session with me it's been amazing you know working and learning from you and but one thing I'm realizing is in coaching sessions as we're going through the different scenarios and we're watching the game film we're analyzing the game feeling from a relationship I'm pointing out red flags that the woman or the man never knew was a red flag never saw that never registered that never processed that as oh that's what that meant oh that's what that was you see and so that's what I mean is you have to watch the gang film and see what have I been doing that has not worked so I've been with X amount of people and I've slept with X amount of people how many rings did that get you how many real love commitments did that produce so if you still not happily married with the person of your dreams then what you've been doing was doing it the wrong way and if you've been on your back or if you had your pants on self then you need to start doing things differently and here's what's going to happen here's what's going to happen when you come in and you remove that you take that off the table now you're able to talk to this person with a clear mind with a clear conscience you can hear what he or she is saying you can see what he or she is doing and with this now you get to evaluate them so see when you have that on the table getting on your back when you have that on the table guess what every time you do that your body is releasing your brain is releasing chemicals into your bloodstream and that dopamine serotonin you're feeling good you feeling high it's it's a ecstasy it's it's this emotion that you feel and because the bodies were intertwined it actually brings you closer to that person physically and also spiritually and emotionally so you feel a closeness even if you thought it was a one-night stand wham bam thank you ma'am no the bodies were intertwine and there was some juices being shared and so for one is very risky because the juices could have bacteria that could alter your life forever and then too it also is a tie that now you at best will only be able to minimize it to the point that it doesn't consciously affect you but that tie will always be there so when you do that it also alters your thinking so guess what when think about you know a person who's high you bump into somebody who's hot they talk different they evaluate things different they see things differently they experience the world different they feel different the way they process things in the world they feel it differently because they're high the same thing happens when you own your bike you will process things differently because of that artificial connection that you have with this person that is not in love with you or you may not even be in love with them so you're looking at things what you're looking at through this lens so now the conversation feels better now the rubbing through your head feels better the massage your scalp feels better the quick sole shoulder massage feels better you know everything feels better because your brain has given your body that release so you might see something that's a red flag and you're overlooking because you hide but they said drunk in love and so because of that you're not processing what you need to process because your legs open but see when you take that off is it think about it like the senses you know how when you got five senses you got five senses so guess what people who can't see they can hear very very well people who can't hear they can see very very well people who can't hear or see they can feel and sense very very well so when one sense is cut off the others are magnified intensify so the same thing happens so when you are dating someone you need to be seeing hearing and feeling but also when you use your brain you're able to read between the lines so now you can interpret what you're seeing hearing and feeling but when you take and you get on your bank now you are inebriated and you drunk in lust not love so now you cannot see hear and feel what you need to you follow me on this now follow me on this so but when you remove that now all of your senses are intensified they are magnified they are stronger so the things that would have gotten by you after getting off your back now you see it plain and clear it's in broad daylight is slapping you in the face front hand back hand front hand back hand in front hand back hand that's a high slapping you it's just so plain and clear you like whoa so now you also get to see how this person views you and not only do you get to see how this person abused you you get to see how this person views themselves so if a person is ready to jump into bed now you know they see you as an object for their pleasure meaning you a plate toy you are a tool for them to use the other thing it tells you that he or she does not value their body and that if they're so ready to have your body then they give their body away willy-nilly and if they give their body away willy-nilly that means they can bring you home a gift that keeps on giving a gift that is wrapped in a boat but it's actually a jack-in-the-box that's gonna jump out and punch you in the nose and keep punching you so that's what they're gonna bring home because now you see how they treat their body so now when they want to go there and you won't let them go there now you get to hear the conversation but but you get to hear the conversation but you got go-go-gadget ears now now now now your ears they like satellite radars now you can hear you can feel you can sense everything your eyes you got go-go-gadget eyes you're watching everything you picking up on everything nothing is getting by you and then now you get to see and hear their true intentions now you get to see any frustration any anger any chauvinistic behavior now you're able to pay attention because you remove that sleeping together off the table and see this is the benefit of it and so what here's what's gonna happen in order to really have a relationship that lasts that stands the test of time so I want to be able to go all the way in which all but I can't go all the way in which all but because everything can be talked about because the devil is trying to use stuff against you and try to get you you know so but I share some of this with my clients on one-on-one session but I can't put everything out there on the World Wide Web okay but what I need you to understand is that in order for relationship to stand the test of time you have to be best friends it has nothing to do I got a whole chapter on this and me and my wife book that's coming up called a woman's influence that's the title of the book make sure you pre-order it anywhere you buy a book from a woman's influence and the chapter title is sex is a plus not a priority I learned this in my life through real-life experience coming from being a loose dog you hear me to being the man that I am today I have learned that sex is a plus not a priority think about this now see sex is the icing on the cake not the cake so if your life depends on it all you need is that cake to live now I said I would make it taste good oh I make it look better but you live without that icing but not if you had to only just live on icing it gonna do the end I sang with no cake it's gonna do you in do you mean so that's how it is with sex if that's your only thing if that's all you have it's gonna hurt you more than it's gonna help you but see when you have substance when you are friends and not just friends when you best friends with your lover you want a whole nother plane listen to what I'm telling you I'm not telling you no live people try to say oh it matters it matter dude you mean to tell me it's ass matter that matters a whole lot that's everything right there you can't do that if that ain't good the relationship man good and that is a lie from the pit and the reason why I noticed is because in a relation where there's real love you may go through some things you may go through some things where let's say somebody has a stroke if all you had was the physical then what do you have now when this person cannot be physical with you let's say somebody get in a car wreck if all you had was the physical then what did you have now if this person can't be physical with you this person have a surgery and they got the lay down for 8 to 12 weeks and cannot be physical with you what do you have now this person go through Edie and now cannot get legitimate to do what it needs to do and it won't stand so now what did you have if all you had was the physical you see what I'm telling you and this what I want you to understand but see when you remove that when that's not on the table and you make love to one another's mind you make love to the mind and you become best friends now you have everything I was coaching and I had to I was I was in the studio recording the audio book for a woman's influence today and 10:00 a.m. and I had to go like 11 something I had to coach at 12 and then I had a coach at 1:00 so I coached 12 to 1 then I coached 1 to 2 at 2 o'clock I got 2 to 3 so that's what I'm doing now so in my time right here 2 to 3 sooner I hung up the call I said every eight coming up baby I just want her to come to my office and just sit here and just talk to him just sit here and talk to him we she sat down we just shot the breeze because that's my best friend so every second I get I want to talk to her if I'm driving somewhere I want to talk to her I'm coming home I want to talk to her when ain't doing nothing I'm sitting somewhere and I can't talk but I could text I'm texting her because that's my best friend so guess what got the hell home her bank we ain't got to do that because my brain giving me the release from our conversation we making love to one another's mind you hear what I'm telling you - when is real and it feels so much better you let me tell you something let me help you understand something I listen to me not listen to me the reason why this won't make no sense to you cuz you ain't never been to this level oh that don't make no sense to me oh my goodness oh my god so you trying to tell me Dad oh oh I don't mean I got to go unsubscribe bye listen to me this don't make sense cuz she ain't never been here you hear me let me tell you something let me tell you something let me tell you something when you have a relationship with the one you love when you are best friends when you learn how to make love to the mind through healthy communication and quality time let me tell you something when you get in the bed that's actually a letdown like it's actually it's a fall off you me and I don't care what you do in there I do not care what you do in there it don't feel as good as quality time and quality conversation with someone that you love that is your best friend you hear what I'm telling you because that they're at bedroom gymnastics and acrobatics that was created to reproduce it wasn't even created just for your pleasure it was created to reproduce you know what I'm telling you and so if you doing that and doing it too long it's actually paying come from that cuz you go to getting sore you're trying to go all alone you're trying to do all this you go against or but guess what there's no pain when you're making love to the man you got to walk bowlegs after you make love to the mind you got to be or as a man after you make love to the mind but so that's why I feel so much better and then when you make a law to the mind this one you really could go ours because you would spend all day together just talking about your dreams your hopes your fears your your fun your failures your family your future you could talk all day making love to the mind and the brain is giving you a release a chemical high that's coming from your brain and pumping into your bloodstream that is adding years to your life that's add in peace that helps you produce prosperity but when you get on your bike in doing nothing you doing nothing you you wasting time that's what you're doing you're wasting time it ain't nothing like it maybe not when you truly love somebody it's an expression but it's not that good of an expression Colet me tell you something let me tell you something y'all don't know about this y'all don't know about this not share it is oh my and I shared this on in my seminars in live and in person and why if you don't see cool with her she she just kind of put ahead with them or if she has a seminar let me tell you our song this right here what you know this is what you did not know when you fall in love when you in love and it is mutual I'm not talking about you in love with them but they are not in love with you when this is a mutual love let me tell you when you get in that bed you got about at the moat at the most you've got about three minutes before both individuals aren't done y'all hey what are you that Johnny want to get half you didn't want to hit that and I'ma tell you sometimes 30 seconds 30 seconds to a minute before both are done Jimmy and I remember when this started to happen and I said baby I said baby I feel bad and I feel bad baby because all these songs talking about 30 minute 45 an hour and we don't I say come on baby I said baby you know you won't you want me to keep going 30 45 she said no when I'm done I'm done I'm ready to go to sleep she was like get up and I was like wow you know and then now you know it certain days and stuff anniversary or something but what that told me and I started to think about it I started to think about it I say Tony you remember 30 45 minutes you remember those those days in life and your friends talking about it what was the what was the common denominator in the old situation where it was swinging from chandeliers in 30 45 minutes and I would all that is there what was the common denominator no love no real love that was the common denominator is that the man was not in love with the woman and or the woman was not in love with the man so at that point you are doing something but you're not actually in it because the largest sexual organ is the brain so to make love to the mind it takes communication through conversation and quality time it's not about licking on neck in sucking on earlobes and sucking on toes and tongue kissing in catching mono is not about that it's about making love to the mind you me i'ma tell you one thing I found out as a man when I come on over to this side it's part of me and listening you know what I found out as a merit man that that that get a woman ready for real for real spending time going to the mall going to home goods going to the grocery store running all the errands having good conversation talking while you while she's shopping looking for something you patiently waiting and you helping her pick it out and you talking to all about it and you go to the grocery store you pushing the car you helping with getting the groceries you help wash the dishes or you help set the table or you help clean up getting up in the attic getting the stuff down for the Christmas decoration putting the stuff back up down do you hear me sitting down watching a good movie but having conversation before it during it after it so what you talk about what's going on but I come to find out is that right there is what does the trick that's when the woman really like a dish yours spread-eagle you hear me whereas when you trying to do all you focus on their ice kiss and sucking on earlobes and you got toenail in your mouth and you trying to massage shoulders that you trying to lick on bellybutton and thighs you trying to do all the stuff physical but she spent no time with her he just sat down to just talk to her bow where she had in her life how was her day what's she doing what she got going on where she want to go you know you ain't helped her you treating her like a handmaid she got to do everything you got to go to the grocery store she got to go to all the stores by self she got to run all the errands by ourselves she got to do everything myself and listen man my wife be so happy she'd be way more ready when I go to Target and Walmart and Publix with her and then come home that right that make us so happy she said to me and I'm saying nice it is hard for a man because we just not really into them me personally I know I'm not really into that stuff but this woman could spend hours in home good and she living want to do a tour other stores we went to Michael's art store Hobby Lobby with a home goods Target Publix grocery store Whole Foods with all the store debt right there get her hiding ready like Little Caesars do you hit me where I'd like to sit home and massage and rub feet and lick on Nick and she ready to go to sleep after that that put her to sleep but me spending quality time so that's what I learned so here I was as a young man thinking oh you got to do this do this trick do that trick do this all that no I learned otherwise at least with mine personally now you got you old loose booty and she used to spending no quality time and being treated with respect like a queen then you might know how it might not be the case if she just used to lamb bound thank you ma'am you know and so I want you to think about this that day and understand that if you really trying to build something real in 2020 that if you sing them them ready and you trying to build something real take that that intercourse take it off the table take it off the table and focus on conversation and quality time focus on that focus on acts of service so you wanna make love take turn massaging each other feet so feet nasty hey you got fall in love with this person you want to be with her massage with each other feet take turn give them shoulder massage take turn rubbing each other scalp I'm Sergeant a scout you know take turns talking about your dreams about your day about what you want to accomplish do that take and do that and then when you do that guess what you want to see what you're gonna realize is that now you build it something real so with the riffs with the little arguments the arguments will be minimized because you look you've communicated so much you learn how to speak your partner's language you learn what to say and what not to say you learn how to read your partner's energy because you can see straight you can hear clear and you can feel well so now you can read your partner's energy so that you know if you just said something that was out of bounds that was inconsiderate that was the wrong thing to say because you could sense the energy and you could change it you could tweak it and you could correct it real quick but see if all you've been focusing on is the physical you missed the cues you don't pick up on those cues you don't pick up on the nonverbal cues you know in communication 70% of communication is nonverbal 70% is non-verbal but if you have not spent quality time with quality conversation then you don't pick up on the non-verbal cues and that's what you're messing up on I mean and so you got to realize that and when you know that open door open the door so I can hear you open my door what you woke up now you never went to sleep you took a nap yeah what's not known now you don't look like you took it now you didn't take an out did you you close your eyes you see you're not gonna get better if you don't take a nap buddy you asked me to pray for you the other day I pray for you God said you need to take a nap so what you're gonna stay up you going you want to stay up you don't want to lay on your bed see if you fall asleep you want to stay up all right clover dope I'm working I'll be out there go dude go talk the arm go sit with me me go sit with me me she died okay sit right here sit sit right there on the couch okay hey y'all forgive me I was I apologize I ain't no ain't no my mother-in-law wasn't healing my son was in taking his now-wife put him down for his now trying to get it body back right caught a cold at school and so I'm on dad to do tonight so I got to get ready to go ahead and go I mean we got no hazards in the house he's just on the couch playing with Dinosaurs but listen to me when you take this here off the table now you building something real and it's gonna stand the test of time so what I'm so excited about well in my life with my wife because I don't underst I don't learn now and now I understand where the S word fits in in our life because now I understand this what I'm so excited about is growing old with my wife I'm so excited about the conversation we don't have when we eighty years old I'm so excited about it nine wait until they and we haven't him now but I'm so excited when you know look Johnson wanna stop working I ain't worried about it because it's not a priority it's a plus like Benny what it ain't what she need she I realized I'm sure she can live without it it is like okay yeah yeah at certain times but you can live without it because it's not the end of the world and I realized the same with me it's not the end of the world dad we could have conversation and be in love and so that's what you want to build but see the thing about it is just what you got to understand good versus evil so God tell you don't fornicate that means no sex before marriage and God tell you don't be an adultery meaning don't cheat on your spouse after you get married so that's what he tells you and the reason why God tells you that is because it will produce healthy and whole couples and families that's why you told that you got to think about evil and the agenda on the other side the agenda on this side of things on the evil side is yeah wham bam thank you bomb you know thank you man hiding ready like Little Caesars off the jump one night it's okay don't put a time limit whenever you read it go ahead and do it and what is the what is that producing it's producing so ties it is transferring STDs and it is producing children out of wedlock and what is that doing to society it is broken homes broken families broken spirits broken hearts it is being the youth being raised with a hole in the heart and then going to the world trying to fill the void with marijuana with alcohol with sleeping around be all because of the hole that was in there heart because their parent chose to do it their way instead of doing it God's Way you might be already in that situation as a single parent as as a single mom or as a weekend dad you might be already in that situation so guess what learn from it you didn't went you didn't did it your way not do it God way not taking keep your legs closed if you're one man keep your pants zipped up if your man stay off your bike and make real love meaning communicate and get to know somebody spend quality time with somebody build a real relationship instead of building a situation ship that you then try to put a ring on a situation ship but you have no real relationship so when the true test of time come to knock on your door you fail and now you in divorce court and then we take and blame it on marriage when marriage ain't had nothing to do with it it's the way you went about it that had everything to do with it is they raggedy and they failing because of the way we are doing it but when you take in you do with God's Way failure is not an option because you're gonna know because you're gonna have the clarity people say well over what if I waited even get married and then it don't work out you're not going to do that because when your legs close and you're not on your bike you have clarity so you're going to be able to see if this person is the person for you and then when if they aren't you fall in love you me when you fall in love everything gonna come together everything gonna come together that be wrong because this right here is turned on this right here turned on and think about this think about this you know how people can have a reaction a release in their body in that area that you come together with you can have a reaction in that part of the body based on what your mind is sensing without being touched without being touched just from conversation or mental stimulation something you watching or hearing you can have a reaction in your body without a hand touching you that is proof that the largest sexual organ is here so understand that when you focus on communication conversation quality time that's when you're gonna build the strongest bond that will stand the test of time so listen if unless you are in the v-club then you've made mistakes trying to do it your way if your way has not worked out if your way has not worked out it's time to try something new and understand this I'm gonna wrap this up because I got the coke I got the co I need to see what time y'all alright gotta go understand this I got a coach in two minutes understand this your revelation is going to come when you start doing it the right way that's where your breakthrough is gonna come and listen to me you don't have to wear it on your forehead you don't have to create a movement you don't have to try to get attention from it just live it you don't have to tell the people you date or the person you're dating that you're waiting until marriage just live it just turn turn him on her down keep turning him on her down till they get the picture and if they don't get the picture that lets you know they not where you are here that they too slow and that they need to be with somebody that's on a level mentally hey god bless you I got to go if you made it this far put be blessed in the comments make sure you check the links in the description make sure you visit my mentor dot life to book a session with your coach the coaches are getting booked they writing me and telling me a lot of the coaches they they doing a session with the client and then the client want another session two three four five six more sessions I've been blown away for those of you who I've gone to my mentor doc life and booked the session with me god bless you thank you it's been a great time working with you and I look forward to working with you more in the future and we'll talk soon Oh lastly make sure you get your tickets for Atlanta to singles workshop and the life coaching certification coming up and then also Orlando so I put the link for the upcoming events as well what's also

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 79,530

Rating: 4.9534392 out of 5

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Id: OO-KZh6FZ3I

Length: 42min 8sec (2528 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 04 2020