The truth about men dating!

hey Tony guys here wanting to pop in and on city's questions on I was getting a question a lot last night about why do men play games why do men lie why do men do this and that and I kind of want to take you through how me and date and this is important to understand you know especially for women because we kind of have to start to create a level playing field and this is different now you have some women you have a handful of women I deal with women in coaching all the time so as a coach I get to hear the real the raw and majority of women are uncomfortable talking to more than one guy at a time majority of women if they find a guy and they go on a date with them and they like them they kind of want to lock in and focus on that one guy that is not the case with me with a man all of the pressure is on a man because the man has to do the choosing so and you may say oh well woman chooses to but not in the same way the man has to go out and find a wife just like about seven he who finds a wife man who finds a wife finds a good thing so the man is his job to go and do the choosing so there's actually more pressure on doing the choosing than being chosen because we're being chosen all you got to do is just be you be at your best and the man for you is going to approach you women are not taught to go up and approach the man you want that is not smart because a man sees every woman and if he doesn't approach you there's a reason why he doesn't approach you so if a woman goals and approaches a man she's disrupting the natural order of things and she set herself up for failure now sometimes it may work out but people live through Russian roulette so that's not anything to base it on just because you know a woman who approached her man and not even married 20 years that man might like means you don't know that you see what I'm saying so what you have to realize is men are the pursuers men do the choosing a man has to get on one knee and say will you marry me so because of that there is a lot of fear and a lot of anxiety with within me and to be honest with you it's like he's shooting in darkness he has no clue what he's doing he has no clue what he's looking for who he's looking for most guys cannot articulate what they want in a wife that's why I tell women look just be a decent person just be a good person it's not about you know this that this net just be a good human being because he does not know what he's looking for so it's not about oh you got to use this type of vocabulary and you can only wear these type of colors and you got to walk at this speed and you got to hold your head at this angle it's have a good heart be kind be humble be nice you know be honest just be a good person because the guy does not know and so the reason that he does not know it's kind of like when you go to a food festival you go out to the festival and you you want to get a little small bite of everything then you might get a small bite of all five different things and then for your big lunch or your dinner later on you're gonna choose that one that you like the most that's kind of what a guy is doing he will talk to most men who are able and I'm gonna tell you now every man is able that's just one thing I have not really seen as a man who is not able if a man want to talk to a woman he able he able I didn't see men in all kind of situations it is homeless man that's juggling and women that juggle some of the homeless women it's men in all situations it's men locked up behind bars juggling women not even in the free world he getting handed women by the other inmates said a man my sister she's single she's looking somebody to talk to you're cool dude running north I could connect y'all the man behind bars and juggling women so understand this me and help lending options me happening option it might not be the same for women so most men what he's going to do is he gonna have three to four women at all times at the least to at least two options but on average it's gonna be three to four it's gonna be three to four women now you're gonna have some men that will go into the five to seven range he crazy okay the guy who going to the five to seven rang he crazy but you won't know that you will not know that so this will I tell you the way a man is is going to date is he's gonna have you all along a schedule so that's why that good morning beautiful it don't mean anything because it takes this long do that go one that go to there go three just like that he could test all three of y'all in less than 30 seconds good morning beautiful and women be oh my goodness he tells me good morning before I know he got a routine they don't mean a thing he got a routine he got to keep it game tight so at the same time you could be his only one and you getting a good morning so but you won't know right away that's why you got to pay attention that's why you got to pay attention so what this man is gonna do is he's gonna space you out so he's gonna talk to you even you may have a time that he talked to you your time may be known your time may be 4 p.m. it may be 8 p.m. but he don't have a time every day that he'd kind of stick to that time and you're gonna be in that same time slot when you stay in a very similar time that's when you know you one of many now when you get an hour conversation on the way to work at 7 a.m. 30 minutes 15 minutes at lunch 12:00 you know something that fold something at 7 p.m. some 9:00 or 10:00 p.m. when your day is different you getting different times some different days and you all over the place with the time that he gives you that's more so when he's starting his own in on just you but the way the way things work is see a lot of women feel like a man who calls her every day and wants to talk to her for an hour or two on the phone every day a lot of women say that's creepy and the reason why women say that's creepy instead of normal is because women are so accustomed to a guy calling you Monday and Tuesday and you don't get a call on Wednesday or a guy calling you Monday Wednesday Friday so women so used to a guy missing a day here two days there that when a guy want to talk every single day it's like oh yeah you don't have anything to do like wrong with you Oh creep and so what's happening is man start to realize okay if I don't call her every day if I'm not calling her every day and she's still picking up the phone and when we talk she sounds so giddy she's so happy that I call her then wow that's the way to go so what a man starts to realize that he starts to realize this is a law of power that when he takes and he creates scarcity he creates some distance he increases the supply and demand you know you got a demand for his car you want to hear his voice but he ain't really supplying it you know it all the time so that makes you crave it more so when he calls you on wins on mind II and then he doesn't call you on Tuesday then he calls you on Wednesday on Monday you got an hour on Wednesday you got half-hour that creates scarcity so you think about him all Tuesday then you think about him the rest of Wednesday then you think about him on Thursday then what you do is because you just give him and look bits and pieces you call your homegirl and you talking to her about him then you make book a session with me you talking to me about him so now you spending money you were investing the talk about this man who is not consistent and so now because you're thinking about him more and more if you don't talk to somebody who know what they talking about you're gonna continue to fall for him now if you end up talking to me I'm gonna tell you a man that's bought you a man that's you his man like you the one he won't he calling you every day he and as many breaks as he get in the day he called you and see this was the thing is every man could have his celebrity so you got a picture like Beyonce you got a picture Beyonce and you try to imagine what kind of energy would a man be giving Beyonce if she was single on the market and giving him a chance what would he be doing she will get a good morning Tech's if she could talk on the way to work if she had to drive to the office he would be on the phone with her at lunch he texting her right when she get off from work he texting her right when he get off he texts on he calling her they talk to her on the way home they on FaceTime cooking dinner together he trying to set up a date either to go out or to come over then he want to FaceTime my hour two hours every Friday only she got she all over schedule every Friday the fly was getting delivered every flight Friday flowers coming flower Friday then every every other week getting afford nothing Gil might be a hundred dollars might be five hundred dollars getting afford nothing Gil phone thirsty he the one handwritten letters he putting letters in the mail you see what I'm saying a man will do that same he had a same energy when he is focused on one woman he had a same kind of energy night night it might not be all of that because he I'm a romantic you know I got an email yesterday from Chanel you know that Chanel brand and I ordered my wife you know something for nothing gifts just little stuff you know like little face cream lip gloss you know I think it was two hundred and seventy dollars so it's not like okay you making the bank but it's enough to be thoughtful so when it come in the mail it ain't coming for nothing not for a birthday not for holiday anniversary and I do that every week i order song might be a hundred dollars might be two hundred dollars it's an investment but that's the queen you said I mean so that's a man it might not be on the level that I explained but it's gonna be real close to it his money might not be there now so it so if he can't do for nothing gifts you know hundred dollars every we could cuz at four hundred a month you know every two weeks then he gonna come up with something else that's when the handwritten letter come in that's when he writing a poem and he gonna read the poem that's when he trying to be romantic that's what you're gonna feel when a man is interesting you're gonna be like wow this dude sweep me off my feet now this way y'all get caught up talking about a love bomb okay it's not the same thing because that love bomb what do a bomb do it blows up so you're gonna see this short fuse on this man you're gonna see his attitude you're gonna see his insecurities yeah he doing all this stuff but you're gonna see that short fuse and then he gonna explode one day and it's gonna be inside a three to six months and that's when you're gonna know this love armor okay this is not the genuine man the genuine man he's gonna be cool calm and collected if a man dating Beyonce she's not gonna see or attitude inside of a year he's gonna wake the wet heat all the way in now he's gonna wait the well she got a soul time he got this whole time around her like this he'll you hit me he got that sold time that's when she's gonna get it out of tool when that's so tight that tight you mean until that salt I get there he the sweetest most charming this amazingness man in the world so that's what you got to understand so when you meet this man not here's the thing tell you like my daddy told me that he's always um he said son listen man when I tell you something about your friend or about your girlfriend that's for you I'm trying to help you stop running to your friend telling your friend my daddy said he don't trust you he say thank you steel and that's what I would do you say son that's for you now he was never wrong my daddy was never wrong whatever he said so I started to get to the point to say okay this for me - no for me to keep my eyes open that's what I'm telling you this for you to know don't don't go up to the man that you dating and be like well yes I was listening to this guy named Tony Gaskins on YouTube and he said that all men have like three to four women at all time is that true and this what this what a lot of y'all to do and then you expect a man to be like Oh Tony oh what a great guy yeah that's amazing guy like hey I'm gonna tell you this anything that guy says that is 100% the truth you definitely need to believe him I mean that guy has never been wrong you think you gonna tell you that so this hot women play them play themselves you got the knowledge you know what you're looking for but a woman to go and take it to the man and say so are you dating other women and not telling me and then he'll be like no of course not what do I look like some type of idiot like I'm not a player if I'm with you I'm with you that's it and then I'm like oh okay so it's like what did you expect him to tell you oh yeah of course you're one of four you're the monday girl duh then I got a Tuesday I'll give you a little bit of Wednesday then I got a Thursday then I got a Friday I give that is why I talk to you an hour on Monday that's your exclusive day and that's why I talk to you 15 minutes every other day because I gotta get at other women duh he's not gonna tell you that so this is what you got to know and understand that he talking to you and he might talk to you see when a man juggling he's not gonna give a whole hour only way you're gonna he's not gonna give you a whole hour every day you might get 30 minutes and then he called her other woman he'd give her 30 minutes and then he got the other the other woman or the other two women they cool with text messages if there are women there are women who have rope meeting in the QA on Instagram and on email and say hey Tommy I've been talking to this guy for three months but we've never been on the phone we only text see that's what you got to understand this is a woman that gives our phone call it's a woman that gets a 30-minute phone call it's a woman that gets a 15-minute phone call it's a woman who only get text messages there's a woman who get one text a day there's a woman who get 10 texts a day it's a woman who'll get three texts a day I'm not saying he got all of these women but what I'm saying is when he starts talking to a woman you go into one of them categories depending on what he feels you bring to the table there's a woman that does not get phone calls she get FaceTime calls every called is a FaceTime call he thinks she is absolutely gorgeous he thinks she's beautiful and he want her but guess what even though he wants her he still won't put all his eggs in one basket so let's say you know it's like a woman that's hot on the market with the guys right now like on Laurie Harvey if it's somebody like that she get put on the face timeless he only FaceTime her but then he's gonna have another woman though that he 30-minute phone call cuz he trying to FaceTime an hour the tube with this woman over here so this other woman she if he could get this kind of woman that get only FaceTime then that mean he got enough game or no swagger or enough money to have another looker so he gonna give her 30 minutes then he if he could get that one woman that FaceTime woman that mean he got enough game enough whatever for three full women so he got a 30-minute one in that phone call or it might be one hour FaceTime but this one a 30-minute FaceTime with this one not right now the women in here the women listen to this you exhausted you exhausted you like oh my goodness I am tired are you kidding me a man doing all that oh yeah oh yeah he got time he got the time he got the time because guess what that's some whole life that's a man whole life a man don't think about much outside of a woman a woman gonna take up 80 to 90 percent of a man thoughts oh yeah cuz that's how he wired he's wired to be fruitful and replenish the earth that's the strongest urge in him because had that not been put in the mind of a man the human race would have ceased to exist thousands of years ago because men would have just been focused on money and not sleeping around not sleeping with a woman they would just been focused on money and women are so complex and so hard to understand that had it not been for the strength of that urge to sleep with a woman man what a long time ago gave up on women because it is really stressful and it's really hard to understand a woman it's so many nuances to a woman that like when I look at man I see two types of species I see two types of men when I look at women I see a thousand types of women I literally see two types of man a grown boy and a grown man but I see a thousand different strands brands of women it that's why I'm talk about that's why I'm trying to answer question by women it is extremely complex and I'm now in the matrix so I'm I'm reading over 40,000 comments on YouTube alone a month from women out of them 40,000 comments it's probably a hundred from me so I'm seeing all the different brain types of women and listen to me some scare stuff out there is some scary stuff and it's like so I read some comments from women and I'm like did they just bang her head against the wall when she was a little like it be some it be some strange commenters and I just feel like wow they're what y'all got to deal with single fellas out here I said why thank God I found my wife before social media before reality TV took off before whoo I'm telling you today trying to find a wife is stressful it's stressful for the men so that is why more so than ever a man men today they juggling multiple women because that's what you got to realize this man he is wired and he raised to believe that a man is the pursuer a man is the provider a man is the protector all of those things are true but guess what with them three peas come another P and that's pressure because it is pressure to provide like my sons go to private school that costs just in tuition alone thirty thousand dollars a year I want them in private school because the smaller classes and it's just the kids are typically coming from a better household so that they not doing the hope is not really bullying going on but you got to realize that the public school god bless you if you dare and god bless you if you believe in it do you I went to public school do do you but if I was you I'd be trying to go to the Christian school if you christian and get on financial aid because when we got into our school we got on financial aid it was a little bit of money that we was paying per month and we built up the world now we pay full tuition but as a man that's what a man won't he won't his child being the best learning environment he don't want him to be in there with this kid who smoking out 11 because his daddy's been locked up since he was born and his mama to worry about getting a boyfriend so he raising his self so I remember talking to the guy he said the guy told me he learned how to cook crack at 11 years old I don't want my son in the same classroom with him okay they might be going a home economics class supposed to be baking cookies and it got baking another kind of cookie and teaching my son how to cook a different kind of okay and so as a provider I want the best situation my son won't play soccer I want to be able to take him to Europe we was in Europe in account for two weeks in Italy that cost that cough just to get over there was $11,000 and so that calls not management in 30 on tuition and then 11 so guess what a lot of times women don't understand this but this is kind of pressure that good man putting on themselves because they like look I don't want my family just to survive I want my family to thrive so what happens is you'll find even a good man is scared to death to choose his woman and so when I met my wife I had a girlfriend I had the lead now I was 21 so let's keep that in mind okay but what I was doing was very normal but for a woman to go through the process with a man and to hear that it's mind-boggling and women are shopping appalled so you might can't handle the truth you can't handle the truth just okay okay just buy this one out just to be quiet just drink some water just gives you some water and just rest okay just rip put your ice pack on your head but this hot man date this was every man I had a girlfriend I had two been with her for two years I knew I did not we was engaged I had a name tattooed on me I did not love one woman gonna comment telling you had to love her cuz ain't no man in the world gonna get a tattoo of a woman named if he don't love her that's how little women know about me a man will do anything to sell it if it was a rule that you got to cut off your right foot to sleep with a woman every man will have one foot every man will have one foot or he'll or he'll be gay but majority of men 80% on at least 60% will have one foot point-blank period you don't believe I'm here to tell you a man will do anything for a woman men go to the furthest extent the impressive woman I had a girlfriend have been with her two years it was toxic it was draining life separated us destiny you know she went I got kicked out of college off my football team and she trained she transferred her to another school that she wanted to get into so we end up in two different states that gave me the time and the space and the room to start looking for her replacement they just really wrong I'm judging for my transparency because your dad ain't tell you this and he tell you how he chose your mama so don't get mad at me forgive you some transparency here now okay and so here I was I was 21 years old I'm looking for my wife and I took and I started looking for a replacement because it was a tough relationship I didn't want to be in that toxic relationship I want love I'm gonna low to be peaceful even though I was part of the reason causing it I really felt like a lot of my actions were reactionary I felt like she was triggering me and she was pushing buttons on purse on purpose and I remember talking to my sister my sister said hey your girlfriend told me she loved to make you mad that she loved to see you angry my sister told me that and there's a problem with a lot of women they talk too much to the sister that man family is not on your side you go telling all your business to his sister to his mama they finna tell him they not on your side y'all ain't sisters y'all think y'all in the woman club the women don't care nothing but to my sister my mom never cared I'm older but no woman I talk to including my wife when when when I met my wife they were trying to sell her ID and pin point and look for flaws and holes in her too and had stuff to say by her too they not on your side were you trying to be besties with his mom and so think they like you know one must have you riding your bike for this on for her son for their brother you better believe it and so when my sister told me that I definitely started looking and I met my wife when I met my wife the first time we talked I have to be sat down and we talked we talked six hours I called my girlfriend say hey we done we done and that's what happened a lot of times with that's why I tell y'all don't ever be with a man longer than a year unless y'all get engaged me and this woman we got engaged girl we were young woman we got engaged but it wasn't real and coming at two-year mark hey it's time to get married so a man is either gonna marry you or he's looking for your replacement point-blank period I ain't no if ands and buts about it he's going to marry you or he's looking for your replacement and so guess what I'm looking around I'm dealing around I had two met this one girl over here Spanish met just one woman over here girl over her seat she black the Spanish will by my age black girl was younger did not know found out that she was 17 had to cut her off he immediately had done done and done anything like that had met in the mall then she gonna tip she's 17 got to go yeah to go okay so that's hot the Wonder met another young lady at at a little hangout spot like a little bar type situation for college students now she was probably about one snicker bar away from being a look too much that I could handle cuz I'm I was 170 pounds and so she probably was 170 but was shorter a few inches and it was all in the right place at the right time but again she probably 19 20 so I'm like okay I don't know if I'm gonna be strong enough to do what I want to do you know if we get all the way together so that was that man another young lady was 10 years older than me worked at the college that I was going to she didn't shave her legs though and she was real slim so you see it's people I was meeting it's women I was meeting and I'm evaluating did I met my wife so at first I'm talking to everybody but then one by one I'm cutting them off one by one so when you meet a man you always gonna be like one of three but then he could all he could have met y'all simultaneously he could have met her on Monday I met her on Tuesday met you on Wednesday it ain't that he'd been with this person now when I cooked my girlfriend off when I cut her off I cut off for good I was tired I was drained I was done with that but see a man always goes right to another replacement man it's a lot of women who's single and been single but nine out of ten men gonna be unless he goes through a traumatic experience not on ten men going immediately to another replacement immediately from if y'all break up on tools that he got another woman on Wednesday that's just how it is that's a high deal because man cannot be alone and when I say this I'm saying on average there are exceptions to the rules it's a handful of men that could be alone meaning abstinent and alone if he's still sleeping around he's not alone he got friends with benefits than women still taking up neck you know energy in his life so what you have to realize is a man is evaluating every single thing because in a man's mind his whole life depends on this choice his whole life depend on him because and he also thinking about okay if I have wealth I could lose half of it if I choose wrong if I don't have wealth I plan to build wealth with this woman and I could lose half of it if I choose wrong if I choose wrong my children could be a disaster they could they could take a look a mess they got a commence they could they could have a horrible influence of a mother if I become successful as I want to be they really gonna be leaning on her a lot and it's gonna be dependent on her and if I choose wrong she could be thumping them in the head they could be missing meals she feeding them bread and baked beans instead of cooking something or getting them something that's substantial that got a little extra flavor to it knowing that we could provide but she's just so worried about Botox and a butt lift and in a tanning bed or you know shopping bag so he's going through all of this and he he's looking at every woman and he's trying to see who's pretentious okay I don't fully know what that word means but it sounds good right there so he's trying to see who's pretentious he's trying to see who is you know snobby arrogant who is ruled who cursed like a sailor who drank like a fish who smoked like a chimney so for me in the women that I had met none of them drank like a fish or smoked like a chimney or curse like a sailor so it really came down to just preferences it came down to to age - hi - wait - the numbers the Preferences which I was 21 so I didn't know at that time the difference between preferences and standards I didn't have a teacher like myself teaching me about this stuff and so I'm just kind of looking and judging as your everyday young 21 year old and every other man was doing the same so this one young lady she was too tall she was taller than me the other young lady she was super skinny the other young lady she was a little bit you know almost almost two Velux she was funny this other one she was too young so she got Nick stock you know her height and shape and all that was perfect but she won 18 yes she was 17 gotta go it's old had one conversation and you know that's how some women are there'll be 17 their lives-- at 18 and then later come on said it's 17 or they'll be like 17 and most guys will go ahead and talk to her most guys will go ahead and talk to him like what you see what they talking about Russell Simmons with Kimora Lee Simmons saying that he was dating underaged what you've seen with you know art Kelley it but it's a lot of that going on what we are put in we penalising are killing but that he was doing what he see he see that he saw that happen all the time me and do that all the time it in women a lot of women know that's the truth because they had a grown man when they were 16 15 17 some women 10 11 12 had a grown man touchdown so a lot of women know that's true but for me I don't play with it no sir reball only play with it goggle and so it's different things that cut different people off the one that was voluptuous it wasn't too bad but she had too much mouth phone she liked to argue and debate and I could tell her as boyfriend was petty and he will argue and debate with her and give her that power me I'm not arguing the baton with nobody you hit me I ain't got the time the other young lady she was older than me and she was you know decent looking but she didn't shave her legs I really looking for a woman who really treated our body pristine like a queen like you were in preparation it to be presented to a king and that's how you treat yourself so I would look I would use the shady legs at that time I was shaving my legs as a man and then ain't sweet it's just that as athlete you know baseball players say they arms football players some say their arms ain't shave my arms but we say our legs because you want you you want to look faster you want to look stronger so you want your calf muscle to be more defined like bodybuilders shade a whole body because you want to be able to see them then rips and them cuts and I was i will cut up you hit me I look like a Greek sculpture at that time I don't look like that no mo okay I look like somebody else sculpture but here was I'm going through my process of elimination and this is how 9 out of 10 men date 10 out of 10 if he got an option the only man that don't date like this is a man who just don't have option he just don't have option but every other man he has a roster of choices that he trying to decide from and he's going through his own process of elimination and that's why I tell women you cannot worry about if a man don't choose you if a man don't want to be with you if a man move on on you it literally could be because your eyes set too far apart it literally depending on his age his maturity level it literally could be because you 5 or 10 pounds too light or you 5 or 2 pounds too heavy or you too tall or you too short it literally could be anything that you don't have control over sometimes so a lady a lady got blocked yesterday because she's trying to call me a double standard because she's talking about oh so women can't have height as a standard but man could have weight as a standard for one neither one of those are standards I never said that those preferences for two I'm not saying is right I'm saying that's what it is 3 I'm and cannot control his height but a person can control they weight so weight is something that's in our control height is out of our control we can't go to the gym and get taller we can't go to the gym and get shorter but we can go to the gym and put on some muscle or burn some fat that's in our control so when you are judged by a potential suitor based on something that's in your control like if you don't shave your legs if you don't keep your hair done if you don't keep your nails done if you're not doing the best you can with your body so it don't matter where your body is at listen what I'm saying it don't matter what your body is that if you doing the best that you can if you eating Sunday's and Big Macs and not going to the gym now it matters where your body is at if you go to the gym three times a week and you eat as healthy as you can in reason within reason whatever you land on that scale the man gonna realize that's you that's the best of you and either he likes that or he doesn't but that's not your concern because you know you at your best and you loving yourself to the best of your ability male and female man and woman but a lot of times we see a lot of time we're not doing what we can be doing and we making excuses for why we're not doing it and we want certain results we want certain things but we don't want to do what it takes to get those things so a man said I want this type of woman but to get that type of woman you got to stop smoking weed so you can't be smoking weed smoking like no chimney and saying you want you a classy woman a classy woman don't want no man that smoke weed you said I'm saying so it's choices decisions and consequences out here now the video going a little long so what you have to realize is that's why you have to be at your best when you dating a man and you saying you want a husband you just got to be putting your best foot forward taking care of you loving you and you got to have the same standard that you have for yourself for your life you got to have that for the person that you dig in what I mean by that if you take yourself seriously and you feed mind body and spirit the person you date you need to make sure they feed mind body and spirit to see what happened to us a lot of times a woman will come in with her best foot forward and she'll deal with a man who's not putting his best foot forward so now you make yourself an option because he sees that you own another level than him that you hired in him that you live in better than him and the fact that you entertaining him it makes him lose respect for you because you have all the outward but you don't have the inward you don't have the mindset you don't know who you are you don't know your work so if you don't know your work he's not gonna give you your value if you don't know your value he's not gonna give you what you're worth so if you come in and he see you and you look like a hundred thousand but you act like thirty thousand he's gonna get you thirty thousand and that's what you and then he's gonna give you thirty thousand and then he gonna find two more just like you so now he got three for less than what he for less than the cost of one and I just used money as an example but understand what I'm saying with that so now he get three women that's thirty each one that could be a hundred but they don't know their worth then on the flip side he dinner with women who thirty but think they are hundred so now he got to shoot himself in the foot cuz he like what what in the world I got the good woman who doesn't know her worth so she won't stand her ground she won't respect herself she let me run over her and didn't got this woman over here who ain't worth nothing but thanks she princess Monica Markel what the legislature name and what in the world is going on so now he's stuck in the rat race and now he's stuck trying to choose and and I seen this before it was like it was talking about why do it was a comedian slash personality so this his words but he said why does the most beautiful women have the lowest self-esteem and then the most unattractive women have the most confidence and essentially what he was saying is it kind of going back to grade school to where it not the way I'm talking about this stuff and some of this stuff hurt now somebody still hurt but it's just it's just I'm giving to you bloody wrong okay it's just real I in the field but you remember in grade school to where you had this woman who this girl maybe then when you six seven eighth grade she you might have a girl she built like this and she is the loudest in the school she the loudest in the school hey hey come here what you doing yeah uh-huh yeah and didn't you have this other girl she built like this and she's just walking around hmm yeah and that's what that's what that saying is about to what see what is happening is what a lot of people don't take into consideration is this one right here may have been attacked and violated because she falls inside of Hollywood's definition of beauty so before she could fend for herself there were men who were taking advantage and it broke her spirit and it confused her mind whereas this woman she could have gone through the same thing and let it make her tough or angry or a monster or she could have not been bothered or violated or touched at all and allowed to flourish in her confidence to see this this girl over here she come in a place to where it could be a lot of love it could actually be some money because in order to get like that you have to be being fed so some parents they just feed they children feed them feeling feeling feeling feeling feeling feed them and it's like leave me alone get out of my face and some of y'all parents doing it right now my wife she very conscious about that she very conscious about that and she pay attention to that to other moms and dads and how much they feed their children and sometimes it's just like you feeding them and a person has this relationship with food that when they cry and they start to eat when they hurt and they want to eat when they scared they want to eat and it ruins their health from a young age and it may be because their mother does the same thing she eats out of you know anxiety or fear or worry or loneliness and so it's a parent's job to see that and see what's going on and to say hey this is a normal meal eat this meal when you're done going about your business some people they some women will go through body shaming and so just this topic in conversation men are visual creatures so a man is not looking within he'd not look he's not looking into the heart of a woman he's not trying to look into how was she raised you know why is she this type of build how did that happen was it some type of trauma anxiety is it a health issue is it a thyroid issue he's not asking all those questions he's just looking at the outer appearance and then if he's attracted to the outer appearance then he want to get to know where's the mind at so he's being a visual creature and he's looking at the visuals because what he believes and what a lot of people believe is how a person how their body is presented determines how they love and respect themselves and I'm not a medical doctor so I don't know if and a man doesn't know either unless he's a medical doctor so he doesn't know if there's a medical reason that a lot that 90% of people built a certain weight or a certain size is dealing with he doesn't know that this woman over here that he's looking at this woman could be suffering with extreme insecurity extreme insecurity bulimic and arrests here you know just eating disorder she could be going through a whole lot from being shamed by her dad what have you and that could speak to her size it could speak to her lack of confidence it could speak to her quiet demeanor this other woman who may be built totally different you know may be built totally different could have her different set of situations a man is looking on the outside then he coming and he trying to know what's on the inside so I've seen women who were built like this and up like this because this woman met a man who was built like this and then he got her in the gym and because of her confidence and her work ethic she end up shedding all of her weight and becoming a whole new person then you'll see women who were like this end up like this and it's because of her life took her through a place of complacency of stress or doubt had kids and did not have the love and the motivation to say hey keep loving yourself keep working out keep going hard you know and have a accountability partner so see people with a when a man is choosing he's taking all that into consideration like men literally will say okay but she like this now I want to have two children what is she gonna look like after two children so then he want to look at her genetics now he want to see what her what her mom is built like what her dad is built like I remember a guy singing my dad and you know my dad his family you know a pot belly running a family and one one a guy seeing me that he like hey there's a dad out like y'all like boy you better watch out for your genetics then show Jeanette well yeah and he was joking about it you know making joke about it but you know my dad came to a place of complacency to where he started chillin you know he loved chicken wings and you don't put on him a little bit of weight he would built like me at my age or in his thirties he would built just like me so I'm mindful of that I'm mindful of that I got me a peloton oh yeah I got the mirror that's on the wall that people you do workouts with the mirror I got two treadmills you hit me I'm mindful of my body this what a man is thinking about and see a lot of times women don't even think about that when we don't even think about that I saw a lady she didn't had she was built like this she then had three or four kids and she still built like this so it could be her genetics see a man could be looking to date women and a man might have a woman in each category and this could be body type height and race or complexion so a man literally dates like that he would date Asian Hispanic African African American Caucasian he will go through the list on biracial he would date each one that he could have access to and he read them he judged and and his stereotypes with each one stereotypes with each one sometimes the stereotypes are true sometimes they fail but he trying to see for himself and that's how he's choosing and it's based on and see there's a thing this is how men get duped this how a lot of men get duped so naturally black is not beautiful to other races because of society putting darker skin at the bottom of the totem pole but like listen to this like um let's say you see a black guy and just based on aesthetics just his features he may be listed as looks challenged I might have to go over out on this one now he may be listed as looks challenged but he's a black guy and then he gets a he becomes a millionaire and then look at his wife or his girlfriend or his baby mama look at them look at them and now based on how this man look remove his money and remove his fame what his wife with her look like his look without money without fame and a lot of times we want to get all a lot of times we want to be all deep and sentimental and romantic and yes of course you know love is blind like of course like this person can love that person because it's not about looks it's about the heart gone so well go sit down so well with that nonsense no it's about looks first that's the first that's the first component is a physical attraction so that's how some men end up playing themselves because this woman over here that he might not like her shape no noise whichever way she built like this or like this he might not like her shape and so he judging her and then he like this shape over here but what he don't realize is he built like this so when he don't realize is this woman over here naturally does not want you this woman like this she want a man like this but the man like this that she been meeting and got no fettuccine no moola but this over here this man over here he got that fettuccine so now she say okay we could make this happen and so now he end up playing himself because as you judge so you will be judged he judging women by their body type guess what women judging him by his body type so it's something it gotta be something else with him that she won't is it Jo money is it your skin color because some way I'm gonna grow up and they'll say they focus on procreation they focus on reproduction so they're thinking about all I wanted beautiful kids so that woman may go that woman she might be discolor she might be this color but she know if she could get a man this color that's gonna give her a child discolor all this stuff just sitting on my desk these ain't props okay this is not probably this stuff just sitting on my desk and I'm just I'm just incorporating this message this high flowing my message on top of the dome but she so focused on procreation which I don't really know what that means so we're gonna call it reproduction that she just want beautiful children but she know if she get a man that this color then they child gonna be discolored and she's and she might not like that cuz she looking around and she see what a word of going she seeing the racially ambiguous she see who in the dunk contest and she like what this guy daddy looked like this and mama looked like this and he flying high so she say listen I need me this here No yes I need meters here because I want to make this and so guess what she go and she get him and she won't him for his melanin to produce this right here because this is beautiful to hurt now because it's what all the actresses are it's what the models are it's what some of the top high flying but NBA NFL players are they did they this right here so she picking for the same reason he is the same color as 12:01 a.m. when he grew up he will made to feel ugly and insecure looks challenged so he starts to despise his skin color so he think this skin color is better is superior so he wants her to because he want a child like this because he feels if his child is discolor the child won't be treated how he was treated at this color you see what I'm saying all of this go into it now typically people who this color want to deny all of this they want to deny all of it sometimes people who this color can be honest can be real and say you know what I believe that's true now people who this color in this color know for a fact because you didn't live through it that is real okay so this this is the process of selection this is what we going through this what we didn't win and you have to realize that all you could do is bring your best to the table and have an honest and genuine heart and know that this person could be honest or they may not be honest I ain't got too much most almost to stay on to my owl god bless you

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 90,681

Rating: 4.8997979 out of 5

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Id: r1el97JyEfg

Length: 59min 58sec (3598 seconds)

Published: Wed May 20 2020