Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop - JonTron

psychic vampire repellent psychic vampire or psychic vampire I can't see your future also I just happen to be a vampire see guess who made this if you guessed famous actress Gwyneth Paltrow from such movies as Iron Man and Shallow Hal you'd be right you have no idea what's in store for you today so just buckle in sorry I didn't mean to slam that so hard and hurt the beach rocks they got in here so I'm pretty shocked that I'd never heard about this before because usually I hear about things like this but Gwyneth Paltrow who I'm sure you know who that is has essentially been running a snake oil racket with her new-age health and wellness company goop so what is goop well goop often stylized in lower-case as goop case you needed to know that is an American natural health company owned by actress Gwyneth Paltrow goop has faced criticism for marketing products and treatments that have no scientific basis lack efficacy and are recognized by the medical establishment as harmful or as misleading just putting it nicely so know you're probably all thinking that's all well and good John but how did this brilliant woman come up with the name goop for her multi-million dollar company I quote Gwyneth Paltrow herself I was told that all big Internet companies had two O's in their title I mean to be fair she's got a point Google Yahoo Microsoft Amazon oopall but hey that's just the kind of quality you can come to expect from the mastermind behind such prophetic quote says some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys I'm so tired I am Who I am I can't pretend to be someone who makes twenty five thousand dollars a year sometimes Harvey Weinstein will let me use the Miramax jet if I'm opening a supermarket for him that one didn't age quite so well okay for real I just gotta redo some of these straight out these are these are amazing there are so many quotes by this lady I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin we're human beings and the Sun is the Sun how can it be bad for you I don't think there's anything natural that can be bad for you I am African no I'm not sure about that one I don't know if that checks out all right here it is goop dot-com there she is right on the front goop globe what is the goop glow women this is maybe one of the most exciting days I've had in 2019 the goop globe Mike return instant glow exfoliator what I love so much is that I see an immediate improvement in my skin it feels so soft and smooth radiant and glowing I was absolutely ugly before this interview I got a little marshmallow of exfoliator here Wow I'm gonna throw the most beautiful of the 1% of the most beautiful of the population it'll work for you too maybe I guess I don't curse winneth shut the [ __ ] up don't curse quit so she sells all sorts of wacky stuff on her site especially the Wellness section you know vitamins and supplements aromatherapy cosmic health groceries nobody's grocery list looks like this reishi mushroom elixir mix skin food prebiotic superfood honey with cacao knock me out just knock me out dude just do it I should mention by the way everything on this website is ridiculously overpriced ninety dollars for like a little bag of vitamins a day it comes with like a 30 day supply but still expensive for what I would assume to be nothing $68 for your rose quartz crystal straw $27 for everlasting love a lot of divorces could have been avoided okay a lot of home breaking tragedies could have been avoided if more people just visited GUP calm that's where you get your psychic vampire repellent all right what the hell I actually hadn't read the back of this vibrational healing through stones sent and sound selenite pyrite tiger's eye amethyst lapis lazuli ruby and copper love love love do you see that can you on the bottom there I'm somewhat expecting that but love is an ingredient in this half the time I can't tell if these products are real or they're supposed to be like some kind of elaborate joke can anyone else either so here's how the game works we've got four sets of items here in each set one of the items is an actual product from goop calm and the other is a complete fabrication that we made up ourselves so I just have to guess what product you have to guess which one yeah you have to guess which one you think is actually sold and I'm gonna tally down your score and tell you how you did at the end round one is it mushroom hot cacao mix with cordyceps or dr. singles mustard bath I think that one the mushrooms okay could be the gray one okay round two is it dr. Barbara Sturm face cream women or soya Bella automatic nut milk maker I'm really really won't that know make it to be true ash and amber ice it or reusable sandwich bags I'm gonna say sandwich bags alright surviving death by Leslie Kean for $8.00 or is it how goopy are you volume one four three hundred and twenty-five dollars well considering his cool goop I there's got to be something goofy on her website so and yeah but called how goopy are you I would buy that I want to know how goopy onion well I found out Gwyneth Paltrow makes her money okay do you want to know how you did yes okay they're all real no it's okay maybe I'm being a little too harsh here I mean you could just say that there's a lot of companies like this that sell beauty care products that may or may not work right but they also do go into some pretty strange realms like they promote these body vibes stickers this is amazing because the this website claims that these stickers are unlike a freakin frequency or something through a proprietary technology frequencies are recorded condensed consorted within the sticker they are actually claiming that through a technology that they have invented I guess that they essentially imprison frequencies and then smash them download the sticker you put on yourself and I guess that's supposed to do something let alone be possible when the sticker is properly applied to your skin it begins broadcasting the stored frequencies which may influence the cells in your body you know what else does cancer alright here we are the stickers this one says that [ __ ] this one's on a frequency I'd call passive-aggressive okay so in the spirit and name of science that this website clearly promotes we're gonna put this to the test alright so it says here the frequency of my stickers are calibrated to 528 Hertz and I just happen to have with me today a tuning fork calibrated to 528 parts if two objects are tuned to the same frequency and one is struck the other should then in turn vibrate at the same frequency creating the same pitch so it's gonna work with a stick or two right let's see if she sings [Music] I'm in disbelief I'm stunned this is not the result I was expecting the sticker is completely silent okay the vibes initially are a little bit much to handle but I think I can you know wrestle with it until I eventually will become a transcendent being I feel [Music] pretty good yeah all right let's look at some of the videos they've got here how to give yourself a stomach massage so just like getting a massage and getting your stomach rubbed you get to do that to yourself with the bodies here you're gonna put it under your belly and you're just gonna rock your hips this is great to really help you in freeing up that congestion that builds up in the deep core what is it can you just give me a breakdown on what congestion is in the deep core where the deep core might be located what your credentials are who are you any of those would work whatever you're using your body's fear especially to massage your organs don't fill your sphere up all the way just like this [Music] okay here's another one how to relieve neck and shoulder tension with faragon which by the way is $600 so this thing better be good hey I'm dr. Jason I'm here with Alexis our shoulders and net carry a lot of tension and I'm gonna explain to her how to use this this is supposed to relieve my tension I've got to tell you guys this thing works an absolute miracle on your favorite cuts of meat so step one you're gonna focus on the trap area up here bring the arm around this way and she would just take the ther gun and just set it on that area basically you just take this thing just [ __ ] go at it just get it the [ __ ] on there quit being a [ __ ] [ __ ] and just smash that [ __ ] onto your skeletal tissue and then the top part of that is two different speeds so you're gonna hit that top one again then just rest it on your shoulder run it in this area right in here don't worry I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna hurt you just don't worry just put it I swear I'm a doctor a real certified doctor nothing will happen how you feel I feel so relaxed I feel like I just went to the spot and got a full body massage that's great that's a lie that's an absolute lie you're a good liar that's why I hired you for your ther gun go to goop com [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] Jesus food I'm sorry oh crap my dad alright now here is a certified classic it's Gwyneth Paltrow tours the GUP London pop-up basically I guess they had a pop-up store in London and she came around to do some PR hello hello we are very much a lifestyle brand launched in 2008 ten years ago almost to the day out of my kitchen in Belsize Park in London which is just up the road she basically just said I'd been working here for like ten years and I started up the road but just somehow still sound like the most pretentious thing I've ever heard in my life this is the first rock G label this is the honour Farrell sweater onna is one of our fantastic food editors food in sorry our fantastic food editors what does a food editor is that is that supposed to mean a chef I bet she names everything ordinary something like that um this is not my made this is my dirt organizer this is the man who attends the door our entrance operator and this is my sweatshop worker I mean oh no yeah that's our sweatshop worker well obviously a coop we're very into health and wellness and fitness so it's all really healthy but very delicious so you would like this partner you would like this book okay you will like this book we have an understanding so yeah this is our our sexual health section smile makers vibrators this one is called the fireman he's gonna come to my rescue she's trying to guess - I feel like she's in on the joke god bless this woman she's one of us I think actually vice news covered goop a while back and they went to a wellness summit it's just so creepy man it's it's like it's like a cult thing it's just not what I expected what else try to be doing these days the summit feels like you're living out the latest goop newsletter there are thoughtfully curated gluten-free vegan dishes wellness panels and of course goop devotees and of course the people who will pay for just about anything has goop changed your life it's health you wouldn't the doctors haven't even figured this one out yet they don't even exists the goop Wellness Center is really for anybody who is looking to have insight some autonomy around health so it's not just like you you know squeezing all the money you can out of a bunch of stupid impressionable young adults I really don't know very many people in the audience it's been really really nice and which is helpful because I wouldn't want to do this to anyone let alone someone I knew personally it's not that we're opposed to conventional medicine we just are very interested in alternative medicine having autonomy it's really important I think to eat to ask the questions I don't get it she's literally scamming vulnerable people out of their money and just everyone's okay with this because it's Gwyneth Paltrow if any other cult leader or whatever did this they'd be on blast right away the world is not safe with this woman at large okay but she's powerful she's of the elite that's right this is America the only free country in the world except Denmark and a few others here we settle our scores with capitalism if you want to beat someone you got to do it in the arena of the free market look at Paltrow there's a new entrepreneur in town [Music] ladies and gentlemen listen to what I merely a humble servant of the public has to say tis my strong conviction that every man woman and child has the right to a decent life do they not a life free of struggles and hardship free of a bad complexion free of clogged chakras and free of having to read a single science textbook our competitor wherever they happen to be located exactly geographically at this moment in time by coincidence believes you should have to pay premium prices for snake oil not so here at dr. Jonathan Tron Lee's medicinal menagerie they would charge you 240 dollars for a simple hairbrush here not more than nickel for our finest Cobra coma $90 for some vitamins containing god-knows-what even you're not that stupid here all the vitamins you could need right in that snake oil one gradient crushed snakes got any vitamins in there somewhere and would you believe good ladies and gentlemen of this fine country they would dare to charge you $300 for a vial of simple hyaluronic serum whatever the [ __ ] that is $15 on Amazon I checked got a lot of five-star ratings I'm just gonna be honest everything in there in that store that I'm pointing to but not at the same time everything inside that may or may not be inside that store $15 or left's less on Amazon mustard bath give her at Heinz those good hot dogs too oh this just my shopping list hey you ever buy something online and then find out later you could have gotten it for less that's a feeling more unpleasant than being taken to the Tower of London and tortured mercilessly for 10 days not to mention once that happens you get the creeping suspicion you could be overpaying every single time you shop well I don't have that problem and now I'm going to proceed to tell you why it's because I've got honey the free browser extension that saves you time and money when shopping online honey scans the internet for coupon codes and other discounts then like magic it automatically applies the one with the biggest savings to your car to check out it knows about every coupon code sale or discounted over 20,000 sites like Amazon Newegg Walmart Best Buy eBay you name it nowhere safe from its savings for instance I saved twenty two dollars and twenty five cents here on this flannel shirt which is now twenty two dollars and twenty five cents I can use to buy other flannel shirts if I desire it's free to use and installs new computer in just two clicks so go get honey for free at jo-ann honey calm slash jontron and start saving today once again that's join honey calm slash jontron alright everyone thanks for watching until next time I'll just be here practicing my prose zucchini greeny up Rajini Bendis [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 12,960,335

Rating: 4.9626884 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: BnpdoAIhiyo

Length: 17min 29sec (1049 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 24 2019