Titanic: The Legend Goes On - JonTron

jontron I will wait a lifetime my love for I know you will return to me one day every last of the 3500 miles from Southampton to the Big Apple feels like a dagger of infinity thrust between our hearts my sweet darling we were to be reunited once again this man and bride we were to finally escape the persecution of our family's name but as fate would have it all our hopes and dreams were swallowed whole with you into the oceans of mists I could swear it were all a lie and I could see your ship there just on the horizon the rest have forgotten but that was so many years ago now but I have not forsaken you oh dear what's this Titanic the legend goes on a full-length animated feature based on the legend of the Titanic wait he's just a legend it's just a silly old legend I thought was like a real thing or a real boat with with people on it that sink and they died I suppose that means my girlfriend is not real then I guess there were some signs along the way when we were at that restaurant the waiter he said why did you order two meals and not eat one of them and he just left it there to get cold and I said curb your tongue that's my lady and soon she will be departing on the great steam liner known as the Titanic that is definitely a real ship in the real world and he said wait what she was real to me today's topic of discussion the animated children's film Titanic the legend goes on yeah I don't even know where to begin with this one this movie was released in Italy in the year 2000 and for some reason it's based on the infamously tragic story of the RMS Titanic of course why wouldn't it be it's perfect material for a kid's film think of all the funny slapstick situations that could arise here first to Tennant now this I'm forced to talk about the Titanic yet again what can I say I guess a true story about a bunch of people freezing to death really makes for some good media this of course takes a close second of my other favorite questionably topic youth feature beauty the Trail of Tears or as it's known in the American localized version Pocahontas I don't really know what more to say about this i mean this film provides a great deal more questions and answers it's somewhat of a rite of passage to see this for yourself so without further ado let the paint begin as you can see the man Nate the legend responsible for this is a guy named Camilo Teddy I'm sure to go down in history as one of el italiano primo hey what's with these names human McGann okay I guess that's just a foreign name but Scarl poor bastard his name was so beautiful before the accident so much potential mm-hmm would you look at that they got to the point real fast on that one huh they sake that son of a [ __ ] right away so throughout this bizarre first scene we're shown a diverse cast of characters that I can only assume are from the events preceding this one you know like before the ship sinks I guess they were just trying to do a little something special here little memento meets Titanic really bold filmmaking what sorrow I feel for these characters so close to my own heart red-haired lady brown haired guy old woman 1 & 2 currently drowning human and of course 101 Dalmatians honey well what now Pongo say you hey I saved more people when you could save two dogs will live for a collective three years after the end of this film I guess Disney royalty will get you far in this life whoops what are you two laughing at what changed here I'm glad this man's violent death brought you momentary join distraction from the sinking of your ship maybe they were just enjoying his perfect 10 year so weird they just keep looping the same shots over and over and showing things that don't even look like they pertain to the moment at hand oh and it's over the movie now decides to start for real hope everyone's ready for some laughs for some fun let's go on this animated adventure together maybe by the end of it we'll be laughing like two old ladies on the verge of death on a lifeboat huh could happen how can anyone be expected to try to enjoy this movie after being given that intro going into this movie everyone already knows how it's gonna end but then they just reminded us in painstaking detail you want to now have to anticipate all these characters dying I'm supposed to get invested in them emotionally camilo you just gave me up the [ __ ] final destination vision of all my friends deaths you blue nitaac so the story begins for real this time with the girl we saw in the previous scene on a train opening a locket which seems to have a picture of herself inside it I'll never forget you me moping over that picture you're never going to find the precious yeah and for all intents and purposes I hope that [ __ ] is dead serves you right for sitting quietly on a train you're wrong I will find her and my father too I'll find them both well I guess that's that that came together very well here we have the obligatory scene where all the characters and introducers are boarding the ship although only about 1/3 of them seem to have any semblance of originality if you could call any of this original why are there anthropomorphic animals boarding the ship and not to mention every last one of them is based on some Disney or Don Bluth character no in fact just about every character in this film is ripped off from something else you've got granny from Looney Tunes you got a Cinderella thing going on here with the main character there's the Dalmatians as previously discussed the mice from americantale the crow from secretin in Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland Belle from Beauty and the Beast and the geese straight out of the Aristocats and it goes on from there I just really don't understand where they could have been coming from when they were making this ripping off a bunch of classic cartoon characters and putting them on the Titanic Camilla you trying to make some sort of sick twisted reality show Camilla what are you doing how would he go to us what are you doing so Oh No Angelica here dropped her things Oh Angelica you really are what a nice man picking it up for you you are let's hope it's a smooth crossing excuse me the [ __ ] did you just say do you know something we don't you got something to say why so devious wait a second I recognize that voice you're not really an old man I knew it he was the iceberg all along I suppose it's easy pickings at this point but what's with the jerky animation half the time it doesn't even seem like the animators knew what they wanted from each shot it's as if two directors constantly battled about what emotion the character in question should be displaying at any given moment not to mention the downright abruptly time dialogue this is oh thanks well I must've dropped this I really owe you one is that all you have to say Italian Mouse I suppose you're gonna forget about AI oh and you it's near impossible to follow what's going on in this movie I'm not even exaggerating there are so many characters doing so many things in such a short span of time I even found myself mixing the characters up for real the first time I watched this I legitimately didn't know these two old ladies were different characters they're different characters there's just two evil stepmothers in this hey more evils better right oh okay so let me get this straight to crow he stole the pin out of the squirrels hat there squirrel notice turn around well then he left and the significance of that was what's with the calcium's guys we've been on tourists and yard wait til they're home and we'll charge us to join you I play wicked bongos you know hey listen I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you guys uncomfortable I'll turn the movie off now if it helps and you don't mind me I'll be over here in the corner celebrating the death of my own innocence I can still hear the screams papa the van the clown cop of mine hey guy I don't think the captain can hear you what you're saying is interesting at all but at this moment I think his brain is internally swelling and away she goes beginning the most magical of Legends that definitely never happened at all I swear in the next scene were met with the two evil stepsisters seemingly deciding what to wear did I stroke out did they stroke out someone has stroking out I didn't do anything to alter that that's how the movie comes packaged that's how it's meant to be it's art so from what I can gather here the main storyline is that Angelica here loses her prized locket and a search for it begins sort of broken china joints what can a sociopathic person wrote this movie who can even get into such a headspace throughout the movie Angelica's seen being nice to the animals around the house especially the one little mouse so the animals like her and elect to help her find the lost locket you're having we talked to frits about you know there's something you should know so I'm gonna tell you so don't sweat it forget it enjoy the show working all day now it's time to unwind kick back relax take a load with your mind what the [ __ ] [ __ ] there was no hint of this being a musical and then all of a sudden the dog the dog here he comes to such rapping rapping hip-hop rapping in a style of music it won't be invented for some 70 years after the scene ends all set against a modern day midtown Manhattan well listen listen to me rhyming dawg a two can play at this game and also what does the mouse say after this all happens before you I would be now in someone else's digestion I'll take broken English for 800 what what have you done again nothing happened the first time to warrant this happening again this is the first time I've seen you I thank you what is it a common occurrence for you to go tying the legs of strangers together on a giant boat also seriously who are you what who is this who was that what's happening watch out for a couple of weirdos a kind of crazy red-haired cat and someone I hesitate to call one of us dog which dog who's this dog dogs I'm the Titanic she's sinking the pod is sinking quick fire emergency riders and at long last our star-crossed lovers meet and she instantly makes a pose as if she were trying to imitate what she saw someone doing the cover of Vogue I don't think she realizes what she looks like there I think in her head it's looking a lot better paint me like one of your french boys paint me I bet you look ravishing in this whoa slow down Romeo alright leave some to the imagination I'm pretty sure that's a big-ass pair of granny panties I don't know that you really do want to see her in that darling are these your skid marks Wow he's going in for the touchdown and then she just walks away that typical you know she doesn't even want to be viciously molested talk about playing hard to get and just like that the next scene starts up with a new Mouse I don't remember this guy he is holding an adorable tiny candle though I mean come on that's got to be one very small candle did he get that thing custom-made eat up while you can boys you'll need your strength for the Mexican winter I really have no idea who this mouse could be or why we're watching this so let's just move on it pretend it didn't happen I think I must be going a bit soft in the head you're telling me Patrick Bateman Prince Charming as a pea brain you gotta be pulling my leg huh well I've never had a proper family so I've always dreamed of making one but I don't want to rush things I have a whole life ahead of me oh that's nice that's real nice wait how does this movie end again oh yeah I wouldn't count on that whole life thing Oh Andy's gone excuse me madam you were talking to a young lady how can I find her I know she often comes out here for walks oh I must go in now hey granny where are you going you're just gonna bail on the convo he's still talking to you he's asking you a question you can't do that oh my god grannies aware of her own bail she literally looks back and then lumbers away full Sasquatch mode oh god no no not this wonderful singer I was too busy looking for someone are you gonna say something you're just not gonna reciprocate there I don't even know your name will I see you at the reception tonight that all depends if I get unstuck from being in five frames per second so after this encounter Angelica goes back to granny's room and explains how sad she is that she can't go to the reception with the guy she just met because she has nothing to wear upon hearing this granny offers Angelica her old dress from her youth which she for some reason has with her on the ship I haven't since my board Frances took me to the Opera for the first and last time Oh granny how heartwarming wait first and last granny something you want to talk about his uncle Francis is he all right also I don't want to know what happened in around or near that dress if granny was so fond to that night yeah I wouldn't do that Angelica so my uncle Francis might still be on there if you know what I'm saying just make sure this ball doesn't have a black light theme what am i faster mother say I'm furnace and Hortense I wouldn't worry about them yeah mainly because I think no one knows who they are or if they're even in this movie oh hey is that uncle Francis back from the grave to give granny one more night of fun oh now it's just two mice with a knife shoulda guessed huh classic how quaint a raven fell through the exhaust grate in my cabin all right I can see you serious just please leave me and my family out of this thank you what are you doing you're gonna get a disease this is how the Black Plague started what you weren't sure I think this is one of those things you got to be sure about this isn't third class shake the Bradbury New York Police Department well the [ __ ] are you I'm here heating kognito on a special assignment I wanna catch the suspects red-handed get it no somebody broke into my cabin and stole the locket but that's all they took excuse me I couldn't help hearing what you said bro what's with the red hair and black beard combo not a good look for you once again who is this and why thank you thank you I'm sorry I'm just a little embarrassed that my sneezes I think they make me look like a little scared boy Wow it's beautiful the song that plays about them is already in total longer than the amount of time they've actually spent in each other's presence I'm not sure what's going on here but the guy in the black hair is taking some sort of issue with Angelica and then he comes up and straight up points to her tits for like 10 seconds realistically I think he was just trying to save her from the clutches of Jack the charming it was that girl what was that perhaps the locket is back with its rightful owner what does he mean by that yeah what does he mean by that no you know nothing about me nothing what do you mean I know oh wait no you're right I do know absolutely zero about you besides your name if I don't even think I know your name you didn't tell me you just walked away maybe we should just call this whole thing off or at least think it through nothing you could tell me could prevent me from loving you even if I were to say something like I reject all your sexual advances oh yeah okay no I can now see that that is not going to stop you either what's going on here how'd everyone get to a vantage point to watch this all at once nobody noticed they're being watched here and they lived happily ever after as skeletons at the bottom of the ocean hey everything went perfectly to plan what a perfect scene am i right ten out of ten okay I think we're done with the worst of it love interest kissed everything's falling into place the movies got to wrap up at some point now come on come on baby this one out at least it makes more sense than hip hop dog in terms of time period Oh No well this is getting sinister I've got a bad feeling about this never seen this before that's not just ice let me just get him focus here you got a nice burn hello there's an iceberg right in our boss delicious I told you snap carnist number so finally the iceberg hits general mayhem ensues and all the character is scrambled to reach the boats exit yeah buddy save that energy don't want to expend it before you get rowing yay what what horror eyewitness that day surely I will never forget it as long as I live wow I can't believe it this movie is finally drawing to a close so William the love interest breaks a window with a wicker chair somehow it escapes the ship all the while Angelica seems unaffected by his suspected untimely death do you still have a picture in a locket yes ever since my mother puts it around my neck as a baby and then laughter because she was forced to no please no oh yes all along this woman was Angelica's mother hooray she's been found oh but her dad she said she'd find my father too I'll find them both now he's dead still or missing or worse dead and missing but at least she found her mom look over there it looks like someone in the water oh my god there he is just the nick of time false alarm it's not William throw him back are you serious it's the detective with the red hair and mismatched beard from earlier so the literal only reason for that character exisiting was for this one gag at the end of the film the bait and switch I bet the writers really patted themselves on the back for this one but then an a joyous twist of fate William is recovered please will you where's William what do you have the brain of a baby you don't got object permanence yet the moment he's out of sight he's just he's gone from your reality please what okay no never mind close them throw me back and on that day they lived happily ever after but just then it was honestly pretty terrible for just about everyone else most of them perished but at least a Mexican funny my slave wait a minute wait a minute why are you going to move you think of it yet what no no come on don't you want to know what happened to everybody we're sitting really pretty no no you can't be serious there's a where are they now segment I'll tell you where they are now at the bottom of the [ __ ] ocean are you crazy but this isn't even the only Italian animated Titanic film that features talking mites the other being called The Legend of the Titanic the legend of the Titanic did Italy just miss the news that day was that the day the world's biggest meatball was made the Titanic sinking was just a footnote right at the bottom it looks like I need to lay her to rest once and for all so we can all move on I'll never let go of what you've done to me that is which is quite a lot really you're a terrible terrible thing to the depths with you thank you so much for watching if you like what I do here consider supporting my awesome sponsor Harry's razors and these guys make wonderful high-end razors that leave you feeling like a fresh man or woman that you I'm not judging you know if you use my special coupon code John trying to check out you'll get five dollars off your first purchase that's a nice code that means you could snag their starter set for just ten bucks that's the Razr three blades and your choice of gel or cream god bless america hey we got some new shirts over the edicom just in case you wanted some of those please tell me you want some

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 16,434,321

Rating: 4.9623361 out of 5

Keywords: titanic the legend goes on, titanic movie, jontron, rapping dog, titanic, RMS Titanic (Ship), i'll never let go, jack, rose, funny, review, movie, Titanic (Award-Winning Work)

Id: ghOKU8D-lMY

Length: 24min 6sec (1446 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 31 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/LoppyQ]

Is it just me or is the Jon Tron Budget hella nice?

[u/TomYoungg]

The editing in this episode really stood out to me as the best I've seen in one of Jon's videos to date. He's really upped his game!

I lost it when he took the 'mask' off the iceburg guy.

[u/Jishkah]

Jon rapping it out in NYC.

Oh my god, my sides.

[u/Macaluso100]

I was actually hoping this was gonna be about the other animated Titanic movie. The one with the octopus. The octopus that holds the ship together.

The hip hop dog happens in this one though and it's pretty great

[u/DJPizzaBagel]

Holy shit, I thought it was hilarious that he synched that rap to the dog's lip movements to make it seem like he was singing it, and then I realized it was the actual audio and totally lost it

[u/PkKirby876]

Jon's looking pretty good in the video, he must have slimmed down a bit, good on him.

[u/TibbTokOnTop]

Wow what a piece of shit this film is, this makes Titanic 2 look good.

Also what the fuck is with the rapping dog, actually let me rephrase what the fucking fuck is anything in this film.

Good episode, shame it wasn't a Halloween one though

[u/SkyIcewind]

IF IT WERE NOT FOR THIS VIDEO r/jontron WOULD NOW BE IN SOMEONE ELSE'S DIGESTION.

Oh wait it still is.

[u/blue_nya]

I really like how Jon and Nostalgia Critic do reviews of the same movies. First FoodFight and now this abomination lol.