Vanilla Ice: Cool as Ice - JonTron

[Music] jontron [Music] oh hey yeah I bet you're wondering what's going on here huh well while I was away I decided I needed to become like a pretty cool dude to fit in with the guys at school and I yeah I meant that figuratively but it sort of took on a bit of a literal nature as you can see here all right well it all started about three weeks ago when I broke into the Hall of coolness were only the most smooth reside to get inspiration on being totally flying Stevie Wonder pretty cool but he can't see I need ice Rocket Raccoon too topical also not human share the epitome of being dank but I just I don't I just don't really want to be share to be honest and then I saw it the glacial gladiator himself the one the only Vanilla Ice that's who I want to be that's who I'm gonna be that's the coolest guy ever I said out loud to myself although it was probably a bad idea cuz the guards could hear me [Music] and not real men those were mannequins oh why do I lie and then that's how that's that's how I got here all right the results okay they haven't been stunning frankly I think I might be less cool than before but just get to a point where it's just basically sunk cost you guys cut the loss stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] cool but while we're here how about we watch the literal actual Vanilla Ice movie I didn't know existed called Kulas ice because our divine creator has a sick twisted sense of humor and doesn't want us to be happy for those of you who don't know who Vanilla Ice is he's an American rapper and I used that Bruce Lee who was popular in the 90s it was known for his not so cool style which made the name extra ironic of course [Music] to the extreme I Rock a mic like a van to light up a stage and watch I can't into a man if that doesn't scream movie tie-in I don't know what does why does this exist that it needs to who honestly thought it would be a good idea to turn Vanilla Ice into a major motion picture is this Hollywood pranking itself I think my favorite piece of trivia about this movie is that Gwyneth Paltrow was supposed to be in it but her dad forbade her from accepting it because he thought it would hurt her career sometimes father just knows best huh alright let's watch it [Music] oh now that's cool I'm jumping I'm jiving the mood is electric and it's gone it's gone it's absolutely gone it's ruined unsalvageable nice tag on the head by the way did wardrobe forget to check you for you came out to do the scene is that just your style by the way I really like the red brick house hairstyle you gone with Vanilli my boy that [ __ ] does not belong on a head it belongs in an exhibit welcome to the fashion Museum of the architectural first we have the Gothic the Orient the colonial and of course the modern so Manila gets together with his pals and takes to the streets on his motorbike he then spots a woman on a horse an apparent rarity where he's from as he looks at her like she's some sort of [ __ ] alien [Music] [Applause] holy [ __ ] you [ __ ] killer dude hey you okay damn what the hell's wrong with you what's your problem dude you're acting like I jumped literally jumped a motorbike from a highway in front of your horse causing you to fall and almost sever your spine what are you some sort of square uh would I hurt you yeah uhit's pretty good for a girl know what he doing man I feel like this situation classifies it's like attempted murder is something I don't think it taking it seriously yeah yep she likes me oh yeah that's probably what you should take from this so vanilla and posse right into their hood it's pretty hard they'll go acting a fool around old lady Jenkins look at the mean end of a cane then they stand in traffic for no reason as you do hey what's cooler than blocking an intersection what I want to know is how do you even script something this pointless in the first place exterior small-town America day they ride up to the middle of an intersection then they get off then they stand do I is there more do I get my Oscar now come on we both know what's gonna happen couples always break up when they go away to different colleges think about it hey I love you yeah yeah yeah oh here comes Big Daddy wait a minute you two know each other oh yeah Cathy come on Big Boy you got this think hard okay well there's always next time words of wisdom drop that zero and get with the hero see you later dick it's Nick oh yeah yeah Nick [Music] chi'lan was cat you know the chick who drives the voice in this moment Cathy is making her appearance on local television so she and the family sit down to watch together Thanks check well you talk about achievers have I got one for you her name is Cathy but honestly I think she's somewhat of a posh [ __ ] who's so high off her own fumes she can no longer take air into her lungs back to you in the studio Chuck no she's only a high school senior with a 4.0 grade average double eight hundreds on her scholastic achievement test what is the answer in that case the question hmm that's a toughy dude in fact I think I saw the exact same thing once on Jaden Smith's Twitter feed during this live broadcast we see some shady dudes recognize Catherine's dad while he's on television we are to assume the father has had some dark past but also if he did what's he doing on live television very good come on let's go what movie they're making did they just all thought they're working on a different project this is what it looks like stitched together the next scene follows Cathy and friends to the club we're all of a sudden for literally no reason Cathy starts staring longingly at our boy I see like a thirsty woman lost in a desert [Music] anything anything at all going on inside here just smooth like an egg in there so now vanilla is trying to woo cat though she first protests as you might expect from a human being without serious mental health issues setting up suckers like pins on a bowling ball and oh that's a great move that's that's the UH I'm literally forcing entry on you on the dance floor in front of all your friends works especially well they got weak low arms in the meantime Kathy and her boy-toy get into a proper domestic over the incident and Kathy goes off into the dark on her own get in the car Kathy I said get in the car Kathy hey I'm talking to you [Music] hey Cathy no need to be paranoid I don't think the guy in the truck is stalking you I just think he wants you to get out of the middle of the road okay that guy might be stalking you though this is inadvisable at best was that back there that was you you maniac so what's up with tomorrow oh you know I was just planning on staying in doing the chores boring stuff really so after that Vanilla Ice goes in beats people up in an alleyway for no reason literally and then he breaks in a cat's house to wake her up using ice like a regular Charles Manson hey I'm not judging all right I'll use this old move myself more times than I could count rise and shine [ __ ] we're gonna Disneyland but somehow instead of calling the police Kathie is apparently quite pleased with this transgression I'll see you later seeing me no problem is they both got point [Music] so of course cuz I think vanilla ice probably wrote this movie himself Kathy can't help but to get on his banana bike fall in love and ride into the distance hi so how long have you lived here what's it like what do you like you know having parents and all that stuff brother all that I am simply asking a normal human question out of curiosity not to mine data human so can't vanilla have a romantic romp around a barren construction site as you do while Aristotelian wisdom is dropped left and right so it's important here you ain't true to yourself and you ain't shooting nobody straight up fact straight up back straight up fact what do you say why are words allowed to escape your face after all said and done they make their way home well thanks for what what's this for oh it's just thinking of the difference between me and Monique no difference between you and anybody oh yeah dad get inside I'll analyst but Dad inside get out of here get out leave my daughter alone I'll see you tomorrow cat I don't want you near her tomorrow or any other day yeah well what about yesterday straight up fact because cat's father is being blackmailed by people from his past the Mafia comedy duo from earlier he decides to explain that he isn't the man cat thought he was after all I should have told you a long time ago that real name attack it James Anthony hack and Jimmy Jimbo Jim jar sometimes down at the pub they'd call me Dan but my name isn't Dan I was once visited by an alien species they referred to me as I've never been able to unhear or unsee that in the next scene we see the two blackmailers become impatient and they decide to kidnap cats little brother as a ransom and of course naturally this causes the family to panic I thought I told you to stay away from here yo I gotta talk to Ken she's not here I am making this tape to tell you what a very good time they told me when they told me about your secret stash of tentacle hentai I was mainly just surprised but I really couldn't see the same way again after they showed me pictures of you tarring grandma's ashes to your body and doing a Bolivian rain dance out of nowhere vanilla recognises a sound in the cassette tape that he believes will reveal a clue to the location of cats kidnapped brother do you know that sound yeah what sounds seriously what are you talking about you hallucinating thumping Sam something sound if you don't took him there we were the construction site yes I'm sorry you're telling me you hear a distant bang in a cassette tape all of a sudden you're a [ __ ] dolphin man using echolocation to find his enemies by the way the thumping sound he was referring to was this thing that was in one shot earlier when they were at the construction site this is what he supposedly heard to tip him off to the location unbelievable oh is that what yeah come on this is ridiculous you'll never be able to so I see Ice Baby beats everyone up saves the boy saves the day and gets the girl yes what are you gonna do college girl well I don't know man who may or may not have been born without vital sections of his frontal lobe than les geo myself well I hope you like being a biker chick cuz you're not gonna see me or my car again imagine that I mean you got a lot of something going on in there but I'd say it ain't brain I think oh I really hope it's not brain that'd be one heck of a mess so anyways this was a real movie this was real they made this it wouldn't make Dredd too but they made this movie wonder if it really was brains under there he had how many people you think he harvested before he got caught for a family member or a loved one notice something was wrong with him notice he was acting a bit strange maybe weird smells around them weren't there before oh no it was breathe wasn't it oh it's real brains under there yep glad that's over with and in the meantime I'm gonna go where I always go in between videos I'm gonna freeze myself for about six to eight months alright because hit me now if I hurt myself first maybe you can hurt me okay let's go now you appreciate me oh that's funny which one of you numbskulls which one - you've [ __ ] Rascals put me up to this one alright you know what I meant I said make me you know I want to be frozen like in the beginning show the beginning whatever what am i you're all a bunch of [ __ ] comedians aren't you you know I've been having trouble at home I'm incontinent these days I just got to get this shot doesn't leave [Music] [Music]

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 11,624,807

Rating: 4.9259362 out of 5

Keywords: jontron, vanilla ice, cool as ice, vanilla ice movie, ice, bucket, jontronshow, funny, movie, review

Id: 3J6f6ABLwP8

Length: 16min 24sec (984 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 26 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Mellaroze]

JonTron if he uploaded.

[u/classymuffinman]

That's one of the best endings of any of the newer Jontron episodes, imo

[u/BlackBrown123]

A new jontron got released just after half life 3

THINKING_EMOJI.JPG

[u/Mr_JubblyTubnuts]

The fucking ice wake up scene holy fuck I'm dead

Edit: fuck i missed Jontron I'm on my sides

FUCKING RASCALS

[u/calebhall]

Just finished the video. Best video in the last year I say?

[u/[deleted]]

Is Vanilla Ice supposed to be the good guy in this? If so, why'd they write him as an insufferable, rapey douchebag?

[u/FantasmaNaranja]

that has got to be the worst movie he's reviewed so far i couldn't even fucking predict what was going to happen

like i thought vanilla ice was gonna become a good guy or something

and learn from his mistakes!

or maybe just stay as the bad guy!

[u/JDubStep]

2 videos in the same day!?! WHAT IS THIS RELEASE SCHEDULE!?!?!

[u/NikolaTesla1]

RISE AND SHINE, BITCH. WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!