"Canadian Perverts..." - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Pale Tourist)

[Applause] [Music] thank you thank you thank you oh my gosh thank you canada thank you that feels good it feels good you know i don't want to sound like i'm pandering but i've been lucky enough to perform throughout the world and i have to tell you the best audiences are here in canada they really are they are and to be honest to be honest i say that about every country i perform it but it made you feel good that's why people lie because lying works i've had so much fun touring in canada last weekend i was in saskatchewan saskatchewan that place is filled with perverts they're all perverts the capitalist regina that's not necessary regina they could have pronounced it regina they did that on purpose because they're perverts they're everything in regina sounds sexual their football team the rough riders that's inappropriate i'm just relieved their mascot wasn't a beaver i mean it's not me it's them they're perverts they're perverts regina is where the mounties are of course that's where they train the mounties to mount every mountie has to go through regina it's just it's just inappropriate right even the most innocent thing said in regina comes across wrong like i can't ask like hey where can a guy eat out in regina i can't that's them i'm a good christian man trying to find out where a guy can eat out in regina did you know the original name of regina was pile of boners that's gross that's great and it's by the way it's the whole province saskatchewan that sounds like an std my last boyfriend gave me saskatchewan really yeah now i have to take all this penicillin saskatchewan you know it's because the saskatchewan that moose antlers are called iraq now you can't even give a moose a compliment like hey nice rack could be like uh no lady i'm i'm i was talking about the moose well then that lady should know she looks like a moose i saw a moose have you seen him i saw a moose in person i mean or in moose i i'm a person who saw a moose and i tell you i don't i don't feel like i was ready i don't know how big i thought a moose was gonna be but i was way off i was i was way off i was it was huge and i feel like i should have been warned like someone should have been like you might see a moose get ready but my friend was like you might see a moose have fun like it was a butterfly or something hopefully yes cmos so i was like in shock when i saw it i was like wow whoa are they shooting a star wars movie up here how many people are in that moose costume at least three it was huge it was the size of like a transformer it was gigantic and then my friend was like don't get close it'll kill you what at that moment i realized my moose knowledge didn't exist i knew nothing about moose like my moose knowledge comes from cartoons in cartoons mostly like all you do but in real life they're like i gotta kill you how did that translate never hear moose in those animal songs right the cow goes moo the cat goes meow the moose goes i'm gonna stop you to death did you know that the plural of moose is regina's that surprised me i wasn't ready for that i performed in uh lethbridge uh alberta left bridge if you don't know anything about lethbridge don't feel bad uh neither do people in lethbridge i asked him i was like hey what should i know about lethbridge knowing is there anything i should know about lethbridge calgary's two hours away is this like a temporary city did everyone just show up a month ago we got like a bridge a lot of those western canadian cities have a bridge that they tell you about them yeah we got the longest land bridge over a small ass body of water i don't know if you should brag about that that that sounds like a mistake an engineering error we got a highway with no exits that might be on purpose yeah kitchener kitchener uh schnitzel kitchener or as i refer to it berlin because kitchener is very german right any germans here yeah that's about the extent of german pride it helps that we're in the dark i don't want to lose my job that's worldwide i was in vienna austria and they were like insistent that they were not german we're not german we're not german we're totally different i mean we speak german and and our uh you know our culture is german but you know and in every war we fought with germany but we're not german i almost believe you hi thanks for watching hit subscribe if you want if you want to see more stand-up more stand-up or if you want to see an original show like let's get cooking or the mike and pat show that's available on my channel but also just know that i'll be posting a new video every day during this pandemic or until the world ends please hit subscribe and turn on your alert or notification button

Channel: jimgaffigan

Views: 567,789

Rating: 4.9395771 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: rEXg8ZshskQ

Length: 8min 19sec (499 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 11 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/mingusdisciple]

Then some drunk idiot heckled him and he gave up and did hot pockets. I was there. None of us liked that woman.

[u/Aftershock7]

That was pretty funny. I appreciate the effort to really come up with some zings regarding our neck of the woods.

[u/brklntruth12]

That woman needed to STFO, it was a great show until her fat mouth opened up.

[u/jadeddog]

That moose bit was actually pretty funny, and I'm pretty sure I've heard comedians do bits about how ungodly freaking big moose are before, but this was good.

[u/sasksurvivor87]

I mean, there wasn’t anything he said that was factually wrong.🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

[u/jukirbs306]

It was good

[u/ShivaInYou]

This was a great show when he came. Comedy fan and hadn’t seen his material before. I enjoyed it immensely. That being said, not sure why his hot pockets bit is so popular.. fell flat with me ...