"I can't resist POUTINE..." - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Pale Tourist)

of course poutine oh my gosh poutine at this point are there any canadian restaurants that don't serve poutine i picked one up at uh what was it a it was a booster juice it's like yeah i had the kale poutine smoothie it was delicious poutine i know some of you pronounce it putin but you're still saying poo i love poutine and i eat unhealthy and some would say i built a career out of eating unhealthy but you know poutine it's a little irresponsible i mean after all i don't want to die dude it's okay it's almost like someone was just trying to make french fries more unhealthy what if we cover in everything that causes heart disease let's do it we have free health care in edmonton i had pierogi poutine yeah yeah i had to sign a waiver and everything it's the first food i had to provide emergency contact for it was delicious but do we need pierogi poutine has anyone ever eaten poutine to be like you know what this needs carbs it started in quebec right and now it's everywhere in canada but you know there was probably a part of canada that was like wait a minute we're we're as a country we're going with the french fry thing not salmon or beavertail i guess that's better than syrup did you know that poutine and french means vladimir putin i'm just saying i love how plutine is different in different provinces like you know or in like in ottawa there's the squeaky cheese that goes on the poutine right there's the squeaky cheese the first time performed in ottawa it was in april during a poutine fest and i learned later on it was the second poutine fest of the year which means sometime in january or february someone was at a poutine fest and they were like why don't we do this next month like if you do if it happens every month that's not a festival that's a habit last time i was in ottawa it was during winterlude winterlude you know of course a very it's an outdoor festival in february okay you know in america when there's horrible weather we we cancel events you guys kind of plan around them hey you know it's the coldest month of the year what if we had a party outside uh why would we do that it could be like an interlude between the poutine fests i have to admit i'm a little disappointed by the uh number of tim hortons in town there's some but you go to you go to some cities in canada and the number of tim hortons is uncomfortable like your drive by the fifth one and you're like uh uh is this a tim hortons theme park are we sure they're only selling coffee and donuts canadians you guys are always like that's our dunkin donuts that's right that's our dog unknown yeah in america we don't have dunkin donuts on every block tim hortons is like america's stop sign now now there's i've seen some tim hortons in america and whenever i see a tim hortons in america i always have the same thought don't force your culture on us you wouldn't know how that feels last week i uh went to a canadian tire store i don't want to brag uh it's kind of surprised to find out they sell more than tires i don't know why i would think they only sell tires it's not like the store is called canadian tire how important are tires to you people you know how people love shopping for tires we lure them in with the tires and then boom we sell them a blender [Applause] nobody in canada even sounds like that guy of course there are differences between canada and america it's not just health care and bacon your airport codes make no sense and i love how you're so proud of them y w pound sign representing yeah with yw pound sign it's toronto z i don't know why well it makes sense y is you know why not and then y uh the second y is a y asking and then the z is like see you later this guy's a jerk of course canada is the home of the caesar cocktail caesar cocktail you're very proud of that which is a caesar is kind of like a bloody mary but with clam juice juice wow i didn't know that was an ingredient or a liquid you know that thing from the ocean that looks like a snot what if we made it into a juice think about it say you just you just went jogging all right you're parched you're thirsty i hand you a tall glass of clam juice and then we're ready to go to the club he has never met a canadian before it has nothing to do with it the caesar was created in calgary landlocked calgary which has the finest clans i just love how you guys how canadians like complain about the bloody mary you're like oh the bloody mare oh that's so disgusting that drink that doesn't have clam juice in it [Music] hi thanks for watching hit subscribe if you want if you want to see more stand up more stand up or if you want to see an original show like let's get cooking or the mike and pat show that's available on my channel but also just know that i'll be posting a new video every day during this pandemic or until the world ends please hit subscribe and turn on your alert or notification button

Channel: jimgaffigan

Views: 727,118

Rating: 4.9411573 out of 5

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Id: kQ_k6kCVaqA

Length: 8min 36sec (516 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 09 2020