Bitlife but I ruin everyone else's life

hey there friends how's it going my name is Kevin and today we're playing some more bit life it helps fill the void because of you know not having a life oh I made myself sad oh what's this heirlooms look for one each day you see it's working wait next heirloom in seven hours but I never looked through one this person is gonna be called a lightbulb because I think this person was a good idea they'll have a good life I also paid for their like premium membership things so we won't get bombarded with ads again which it's just a lot if you don't get it I just have this thing where I don't like pain money on free apps III don't know why because if an app was like 5 euros I might buy it but if it's free and then the premium version is 5 euros I'll hardly ever buy him all right light bulb born in Boston stared lights life oh that's really nice shut up I'll kill you ok let's see what I can do and I've grown up a little bit I have no money but I'm sure I could still do some stuff like freelance gigs pet-sitter maybe I could steal their dog ok a 30 hours worth of work light bulb has all the good ideas I'm gonna shop for a pet I'm gonna buy a purebred dog I don't even know how to pronounce that it must be good we need to tank it look tiny I'm gonna free it into the wild I'm sure it'll prefer that release yes you brought tank to the countryside to forever run wild with a pack of dogs they're gonna eat him he's tiny can I get another dog I lost the other ones they won't give me another pet oh you wait till I'm old I'm gonna have so many kids and so many pets and set them all and free into the wild wait I'm suffering from pinkeye what the [ __ ] no I can't take my driving license test I have pink ha he's saying I'm a teacher's pet we'll see what the teacher has to say about this ok let's see I want something really good I want to be feckin rich maybe psychology or engineering which gets more money I could be a pretty good cashier if I had good math I'll do that yes my parents paid thank God look I'm 330 dollars up we should commit some crimes no I want to adopt the child why just because I'm 17 that's ageism can I sue them I'm gonna be a golden boy until it allows me to gather loads of children then I can be bad why are they not interested in my sperm at least give me a reason oh my girlfriend's relationship is great let's have a baby yes she's pregnant had a baby sudden his name b:q okay I sure I have to type one but now he's q-ball but I'll ask my girlfriend for money she's broke what the hell it's not like you have any financial responsibilities all of a sudden do you yes more babies can I adopt now will it let me I'm still too young you're being ridiculous I have two of my own I've proved I can do it get this one oh wait you can't name it numbers what the hell that's not a thing is it if I have a child and I want to name him one that's legal right I mean I could just spell it I guess why am i losing money here it's as if kids are expensive can I give you up for adoption or maybe I could just break up with her yeah break up okay now do I have to still take care of children I don't think I do no vaccinations please they're expensive how am I losing money porn cameraman why does that pay more than a jr. financial analyst oh god damn it why didn't I just study porn in college instead I graduated yes okay look for a job computer programmer yes go for that I left the requirements yeah I guess that's not really math is it there's just these numbers there yes that's why I went for it pornography story in why is there so much what a mail carrier come on no one seriously I think I picked the wrong thing in university can I go back please my parents pay for it your application and medical school was rejected not qualified well if I was qualified I wouldn't need to go back to school would I just give me anything please oh trucker that gives you a good bit of money yes I'm a firefighter well actually no I got the injuries a firefighter yes I got hired perfect it's unusual I'm usually the ones starting the fire but maybe I get paid on like how many fires I put out then I could just stare it low to them you meet a female okay that's good enough for me rejected me and I got promoted this is going fantastic I'm getting money how many children can I adopt now no children available to adopt I'm pretty sure my kids are up for adoption I'm putting the him up for adoption yet get out of here you gave away your son no I think that wasn't just my decision to make yeah you're you're gone too why am i unhappy alright I need something to take my mind off of things go to the gym once there we go I don't even care about my kids anymore I just care about pomp and I earned adoption come on you rejected me for no reason I bet that was my other kid wasn't that I was tryna Darth wait do I still have pinkeye and I don't have it okay I kind of forgot about that I had it for a few years you can't think of anyone to sue right now this is America I can sue anyone my little sister Ramona moved out she and her husband Jack had a baby boy named Clayton septic I for FEX sake what else do you need I got a good job I look good who wants my sperm yes they took my it dammit I wish you could just select spend all money on lottery must be rigged when I didn't win that's what I feel like every time I buy a lottery ticket which is super rare I'm like I'm definitely gonna win and when I told her like this is ridiculous all right I need to find someone to love then because I need to make children I found a backpack yeah keep it it's mine now what if someone started arguing with you because you took her backpack then just give it back to her why do I have to walk away or argue back they had another baby I mean that Chuck set the guy what is she having more success having kids and I can't adopt and they won't tell me why I'm this close to committing crimes I'll get surgery that's the problem give me some plastic surgery I'll take feckin everything what do you got for me give me a Botox yes it was successful eyelid surgery what does that even do can you get them removed they're always in the way I can't see because of them half the time and plus it would stop my subreddit posting pictures of me with my eyes closed yes it was successful my hooks are a hundred percent now those pesky eyelids retiring me down liposuction I already look amazing what am i doing my happiness health and looks are off the charts wait I fail the interview they won't even allow me atop the dog why does everyone hate me when I look this fabulous I thought life was supposed to be easier if you looked good dingo your ass more like loss and I'm gonna set you free off into the wilds good fella your girlfriend Madison is arguing with you because you released your ding galoshes that your girlfriend like that was his name we had to get rid of him it's like my name is lightbulb and I have all these good ideas I want another exotic pet god damn it they're out of stock all right I'll just take a normal pet I'll take a shih tzu please and I'm gonna call it shih tzu but you know the other type go free oh wait no I don't money for it I'm doing this just for a good camera off you go oh she's pregnant how did that it's suggested that I call him dick and just because his name will be dick bald yeah you can go ahead with that you're the proud father of a baby boy named dick bald it's very unfortunate look I have a dick bulb will you give me another child thank you penis enlargement go for it it was botched yes I have someone to sue I was hoping you'd fail my penis enlargement surgery the destroyer and Dempsey I want to go with them you lost why god damn it give me another one I went back to the same doctor she refused to see me you give me the surgery it was botched I'm gonna sue you I'm gonna ask for a hundred thousand the destroyer Dempsey go ahead yes I won I won a hundred grand and all it cost me was my penis can I still have kids she's angry at me oh my god we having a heated argument apologize come on let's just make things better so I can make her pregnant again and then we'll break up her give her money out of the lawsuit give her her dues she'll get five bucks she doesn't want my money why all right now that I've complimented you will you have a baby I hate you who started to think that light bulb here might be an insult all right let's give her more money I'll buy her friendship or what wife this baby baby pregnant nurse you know they've given you a thousand dollars let's have a baby effect off why won't she have a baby like what is it is it the bosch penis surgery be honest give her another thousand bucks baby time next year next year we'll do it par now I've been diagnosed with bunions my gene pool is ruined by ten tickets come on I'm starting to think the lottery actually is very low odds because I'm just not winning it no I can't be like we're breaking up you're not having children with me and it's pissing me off to be honest I'm gonna find someone else who makes stupid life decisions unlike me lightbulb oh my god her craziness is off the Chad go on a date yes just my type at night you're crazy you'll have a baby with me god she even has crazy eyes when I have a baby with me what if I gave you loads of money and what if I proposed to you yes accept it now I just gotta kill her and get all the money wait can I get an exotic pet book before I murder her tiger yeah buy him name him child eater all right let's murder the wife and try and get some money no not my ex that won't benefit me at all oh wait we're not actually married yet she's my fiancée oh that's close so we don't want that happening oh wait she had a baby with okay awesome she got an abortion anyway I openly asked you did you want a baby he said yes and then you got an abortion she's definitely dying she's [ __ ] insane alright wedding planned the wedding we're gonna get married at a golf course in Vietnam it's very specific it cost 20,000 do it that's fine it's the man who sign a prenup she's insane I mean if I kill her I'd still get it right yeah that's fine you're married you're wondering if you should change your last name it's like here's my opportunity to get away from ball up and be Buffett but no now we murder her wait you know what I'll wait till next year so I'll have more money for a good defense lawyer she's pregnant yeah let's keep the baby dear let's see what happens there we go your name is mom is a [ __ ] you have the proud father of a baby girl named mom is a [ __ ] bald hoodie okay let's go I have 150 grand I can get out of this stairway to hell commit the murder she died yes my wife is dead Oh No destroyer and Dempsey no you were supposed to be Bros I've been busted for facts sake and now I was fired and where's the money where did it go do you not get the money if you murder people I have depression that's it we're escaping wait appeal the sentence I can afford the destroyer you lost the appeal I lost all my money your tire Charlie too died if he died of starvation I kiss and let anyone feed him though he couldn't get his hands on any children all right attempt to escape all right how do I do this again easy I am out that was so [ __ ] simple why does it always end up with me going to jail and why can't I win the lottery while you're on a flight a lady named Brianna and Mayweather ask you if you'd like to join the mile-high club I could take her to bed I can only that's how it works you had a one-night stand with Leona Mayweather she asked you if that's all you got I had a botched surgery okay my looks are still 96 that's not bad I'm doing well for a guy who murdered his wife and went to jail bet a hundred bucks I can I can do this I want that's all I needed no we're leaving mom is a [ __ ] bulb how are you doing you got any money L just abandoned your daughter mom is a [ __ ] turds if Dad is a bigger [ __ ] we need someone rich to support me here please oh my god she's even crazier than the last one a date should we get married she rejected me I'm no longer suffering from depression job referral yes waterslide tester take the job I'm a criminal I know a good waterslide when I see one all right she absolutely adores me surely she'll marry me now despite all my faults you know like murdering my last one though she rejected I should have said nothing asked her for money why can't you help me I know you've got loads okay she'll have a baby with me oh she lost the baby that is tragic let's have another come on she doesn't want one anymore so you change your mind just like that do ya while testing a water slide at work your bathing suit slips off leaving you completely naked I still lifeguard for help for some reason please trust me I'm suffering from constipation god dammit life is so tough no it cut down I can no one treat my bunions can you at least sort my constipation then thank you it's gone you've been handcuffed and taken into American custody what why instead back to prison how did they get me I was fired by mr. royalty what a stupid name coming from mr. bald appeal appeal I can get out of this I lost the appeal the system is ranked our Jesus Christ how do I get out of this one okay he taught me facts sake and not stop stop stop I want to get out a person to die when went to fat goddamnit if it wasn't so lucky I'd get out of there yes I got out alright there's my wife still trying to like me no she hates me you know what Trisha give me money I fine we're breaking up then you're out of here I don't care if you're rich while I do but if you won't give me any I don't care I dig bulbs doing pretty well I think do you have any money Thakur useless abandon him abandoned dick bulb see you later dick bulb really lived up to your name didn't you miss miss Sun dick for money but he said he is broke I abandoned my son taken okay good I'm cured of depression I need to get another baby I think no you know what I need I need affected which are hub maybe I can go back into the waterslide business I got a lot of experience perfect fit I knew it no one contestant waterslide like me no one your nephew Clayton passed away at 26 he died from a cocaine overdose busy trying to make more babies so I can abandon them please cure my bunions why does it make such a cheery noise when I say you continue suffering from bunions while testing a water slide it works on the fiberglass from the slide gets lodged into the skin on your pocket try to go home early we can we can sue them can we sue them can we sue them please why won't you sued him let's get someone really old 80-plus with a load of income okay good good we found someone there 70 and the earning loads of money yet go on a date she's the second name as the other person I dated Carolyn May with her they're related he's there like as an opening lion I I may have killed your daughter but when I was on trial I saw you down there in the court and no I tried to be good I called an ambulance for someone who's overdosing and then the cops showed up and they arrested me you've lost the appeal oh come on my wife is rich why isn't she forking up some money to get me a good appeal wait this looks easy I'll just walk out the [ __ ] door oh I love these prisons you discover that your girlfriend carol has an escort problem line this is she like a Z forgive and forget God all my relationships just look awful she died of cancer of the rump do I get any money we didn't marry it why is everything bad happened to me okay a retired trucker Jen pékerman Jen I need you to marry me is that okay why why do they always reject me I can get a job as a janitor perfect thank you for hiring me even with my past okay she absolutely adores me it's almost full please marry me what do I have to do beside be a good person she died I'm never going to get rich at all oh we know that's my father okay that's fine oh Jesus ask her for money can I have money you won't marry me and you won't give me money what is the point this relationship I bet it's the fecund and penis enlargement problem isn't it I'm gonna go get another surgery oh yeah I forgot I sued both of them good nothing no one's gonna see me god dammit I can't get any surgery now because they're the only ones that actually do surgery in this town and I can ever create somewhere else to get different surgery because I'm gonna get arrested okay this relationships just doomed she's 78 65 it might be a bit late to be looking for someone new but I'm gonna try a 95 year old okay perfect rejected I hate old people no a mother died wait I got six hundred ninety five thousand ten her funeral she deserves it look at all this money light bulb just got it I can break up with the other one now I don't care about it get out of here wait first of all do you want to marry me wait now she does aw now I have money turns out you were the gold digger at age 97 a co-worker just bought an you an expensive gift or now everyone loves me don't they well accept it and then buy him nothing demanding that we get married oh yeah I forgot we need to do that yeah I'm the wedding a baron in Colombia yet perfect I'm keeping out now for current she has more money than me we don't need a prenup my wife Luna passed away aged 101 ha ha ah that's a weird reaction to that I have 1.5 million I've done well well actually no other people have done well and then dies no she's not my type I they were asking me do I want to ask her on a date but she's 80 I want to look for someone who's like 20 to 19 oh no love koala surprise I'm gonna have to go for someone in their 30s let's try that no lock why does no one want an old man with tons of money okay a 40 year old it's still like half my age let's have a baby why not I gotta spend all this money I have before I die I want to make this otic pet cat that's it a bobcat okay yeah damn I guess not that exciting gonna name him [ __ ] pet [ __ ] better actually I'm gonna buy the most expensive mansion they got buy it with cash there you go I got arrested no I have money I can get out of this appeal appeal I've got tons of money now I can do this oh why did I buy that mansion yeah I can never afford crime like to destroy your attorney-at-law I love how I put in Gregg Nate the destroyer they actually made them an attorney effects sake how am I supposed to do this all right up no down down get out there we go why is it so laggy it makes it a lot my house I've kind of lost all my money oh it went up in value you sell the house you're unable to find a buyer didn't just lower the price I don't need all of it Ramona septic I passed away my little sister why didn't happiness go up now there's so much money can I get my bunions treated please bunions never go away your ex-girlfriend Rita wants to get back together who who are you yeah sure let's get back together you want a baby now you should have known that's like where I draw the line you have to have babies with me otherwise we break up who cares if I'm like 77 years old and I won't be here to help you raise him I have been arrested again you see this is why I wanted the money so I could defend myself how do I keep escaping at the age of 78 yes another escape it's so easy to get out of there I think it might be hired rod phones because I'm playing on a PC so I can use the arrows and it's a little bit easier could we please sell my house I need the money from when I get arrested again oh I managed you have 1.5 million I just keep winning him because I couldn't sell it it just went up in value in the meantime yay 20 year old here I go on a date I'm 80 years old give her money to if you like me there were 33,000 now you must really like me you want to have a baby Jason Paul died a lot of people dying but I my happiness keeps on soaring all we tried to have a baby but it didn't work try again come on yeah yeah there you go you really like me don't you she doesn't want to have a baby now what happened what changed oh she's pregnant it doesn't matter what you want I'm rich I can do whatever I want we call it gold digger jr. I have father of gold digger jr. bulb oh I've been arrested again all right this time I'm gonna appeal it and the Destroyers gonna get me out of this she's not intended to 961 years you want two and a half million I've a feeling you just don't want to represent me so you keep raising the price yes I got out again no prison can hold me at 85 years of age I'm still nimble oh my god Rita still wants to get back with me no file a restraining order she wants to break up she said it's because you eat with your mouth open perfect sake it's a bit of a coincidence that she leaves me as soon as I lose most of my money why is that good okay it's like it gives me a little happy ping when I get arrested again 1923 years come on I did one murder I've not done a single crime since leave me alone I got out it doesn't matter you can't hold me very lonely I need another pet a black panther that's what I need I'm gonna name him wife so I can be like ahhh the wife's waiting for me back home cuz no one loves me while at a funeral you find a briefcase keep it it's mine it's nice yeah 400 bucks oh my god Rita you still want to get back with me file another restraining order like I'm 95 years of age you can't [ __ ] petter died oh it's been a horrible year look 0% I wish the surgeons didn't all hate me look you know what I may as well commit a murder I'll kill feckin Rita she called the police of me well you were restraining order so you shouldn't be near me that you go to jail too I think I'm actually gonna make it to a hundred years of never mind 98 with half a million oh that's been my most successful life yet it's just like something went wrong somewhere along the line it may have been the murdering but yeah we are gonna leave it there lightbulb died of natural causes in the end he spent a lot of time in prison a lot of time escaping from prison too and he became rich he was a self-made millionaire but I hope you enjoyed if you want to see more bit life do let me know by either liking the video or leave a comment whatever you want to do and I do hope you enjoyed it I appreciate you watching as always and I hope to see you next time bye for now shattered patreon Scalla cos jinx Carey Berg Casey Baltar's Casey Nachman Kazushi Charlie Pritam's chase does stuff Chris Christian gloop derp is their story Corrigan corny cross even entertainment crow Dakota wing Dayne recession Daniel O'Neill dire wolf DJ crispy smooth DJ site drew Schindler duck stirs eccentric Edward B Ching eric weiner ester sokolova and eatin peasant

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 2,010,881

Rating: 4.9647889 out of 5

Keywords: kevin, callmekevin, kevin1811, funny, moments, gameplay, lets, play, game, cmk, clips, lets play, life simulator, playing bitlife, bitlife life simulator, bitlife challenge, bit life, life simulation, funny moments, bitlife game, bitlife gameplay, bitlife life simulator gameplay, life simulator game, funny bitlife challenges, living my bitlife, bitlife callmekevin, bitlife funny, bitlife funny moments

Id: Jq1YoPzoSE4

Length: 20min 57sec (1257 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 08 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Tiny_Pay]

I got a good job I look good. Who wants my sperm? Words to live by.