Bitlife but it is the worst life ever

hey there friends how's it going my name is kevin and today we are playing bitlife this has been requested for me for quite a while actually i just never really got around to it but it seems quite pleasant look there's a nice little like mouse here like wagging his little tail saying like new life yee squeak squeak so i'm already impressed thanks for the recommendation but it's great because i feel like you know becoming a youtuber is kind of a failure so i feel like i i need another try and see what i can do okay i'm obnoxious i'm crying already is this my name i don't want to be a clint regan start a new life i i want to oh okay there we go name okay last name call me because everyone knows my name is kevin call me but i just reversed it on the youtube thing but i don't want to be kevin i feel like if i was picking my name i wouldn't have picked kevin i think i would have picked hair dryer hair dryer called me start hair dryer's life country do we have ireland please have ireland don't exclude us yes and they even defaulted to cork that is fantastic start here dryer's life stop crying i was born a male in cork ireland i was a planned pregnancy wow it's already off to a better start my name is hairdryer call me my father's tom call me my mother is mia call me i like that because if my mom is mia it's mamma mia here we go again my my please kill me look at that looks 93 wow that is one nice hair dryer okay what do i do i don't know anything about this game assets no i don't think i can be shopping for cars yet can we age up my mother has been promoted to firefighter well she was already a firefighter a year ago so i think this is just like the man trying to hold us down it's like you're being promoted she's like i'm fantastic i just had a child he's a yes you're now a firefighter to age up again oh my god my smarts went down how because of vaccinations of course a biter bite her i bit my mother when she took me to the doctor's office to get vaccinated is that the highlight of the entire year why is my smarts going down but my looks are going up so i guess i don't need smarts god they should put me in like commercials or something if the baby is that good also i don't think you should be describing your baby's looks as fire emoji to be honest it's a bit creepy hey chop mud while playing outside of your home you notice a neat pile of brown mud swirled on the sidewalk swirled eh hmm yeah i can't see anything wrong with this i'm gonna stomp on it i stomped on a random pile of brown mud on the sidewalk it smelled absolutely horrid hmm must have been just from like a real dirty part of town or something my mother has been promoted to fire equipment operator mamma mia is doing fantastic what about papa tom he's doing [ __ ] he's not doing anything get promoted lazy oh no i'm starting to age i've lost a percentage in my looks oh my god three is the new 50 i think while playing at the park you accidentally pee your pants who told you i mean this this is fictional this isn't what happens in my life uh get wet before anyone notices own it just own it show everyone that you wet your pants i'm learning that the louder i cry the faster they come that's an interesting out of context quote right there i joked with my friends after i wet myself and we all had a good laugh together great my looks took a hammering from that oh my parents want to buy you a pet turtle named victoria yeah sure go ahead portugal's military presence in saudi arabia has ignited long subdued internal sentiments my parents got me a pet turtle named victoria it's like these are vastly different things how is a five-year-old aware of this he's very woke i'm impressed yes i'm in primary school fantastic this is great it's given me random [ __ ] now it's like a 16 year old boy in chile purchased a nissan gtr the boy saved for the car by collecting coins he found in water fountains for more than nine years first of all i highly doubt that and second of all i don't give a [ __ ] click bait i'm not clicking on that article your mother wants to take you to a rodeo will you go with her i'm too busy i got like four-year-old stuff going on right now your classmate william has been graffitiing the school and keeps blaming on you what will you do charge him you stormed william you slapped his torso you smacked his arm is that it you've been sent to the headmaster mrs mcginnis's office okay this is being a bit the stereotypical for irish it's like what was his name oh mr pint mcguinness insult her you sure what what is it asking me and now i can't resist it's like are you sure wasted my time you called her a maniac i got a free vacation for four days off school it worked your father's arguing with you because you were suspended from school look dad you haven't been promoted in eight years argue back shut up oh my god this is a long summary air raid sirens echo around mecca and business comes to all right we're just gonna skip that my father argued with me because i was suspended from school i lectured him listen dad this may seem important now but seriously in mecca some serious [ __ ] is going on and in comparison this is really small like honestly tensions between saudi arabia and portugal are escalating to an all-out war dead he's like you do have a point my happiness is plummeted though your classmate adam just blew a spit wad in class while your teacher mrs farrell had her back turn what will you do battle him what does that even mean you attacked him you ripped his eyeball you busted his spleen what the hell my guy has anger issues hair dryer has no levels it's just on or off and that is it i've been sent to mrs mcginnis's office for fighting again just apologize dude it's not worth it i've been suspended for five days and now dad's gone back just apologize come on the world is beating me down at least i got to rip his eyeball i don't even know what that means like did i rip it out my happiness is critical this is bad i gotta get happy fast is nine years old too young to be hitting the bottle you've been diagnosed with depression okay this is depressing me like he's nine it feels like summer vacation is never gonna come i have been diagnosed with depression jesus christ age 10 is rough my classmate peggy has asked me out oh my god start going out with her i'm definitely in a place in life where i can handle this you've been diagnosed with anxiety damn it peggy it's your fault i was fine before you came around while sitting in your science teacher what while sitting in your science teacher oh okay i didn't read the rest of it mrs pratero's class you witness your classmate jessica randomly pull the emergency safety shower and now the entire room is flooding you totally run on sentences batman i said that because i'm wearing a batman t-shirt i'm gonna laugh i don't want any part of this i want to be happy again but it's really hard when you keep telling me stuff like 1371 people lost their lives and the further 5 000 were left injured by the war at least at the rebel governmental uprising in saudi arabia brought an into the war i guess that's a positive your girlfriend peggy asked you to marry her you've been together for three i am 12. peggy i don't think you understand the gravity of this question the relationship is great looks not so great she's not all that smart she's no money and she's really crazy just go ahead you're now engaged i also have epilepsy jesus christ it's been a rough few years now that you're in secondary school and engaged you're thinking about participating in an extracurricular activity what will you do see what my school offers yes if they could give me like marriage counseling or something that would be fantastic but the chances of that are probably slim join the broadcasting club yeah go ahead that sounds great what what happened you died from complications associated with epilepsy what about my wife oh no can i undo the death this is going to ask me for money isn't it i'll [ __ ] off [Laughter] i think i'd have to go back to like age one and in that case i might as well start again which i will hairdryer called me age 16 years his funeral was attended by his faithful companion fiancee peggy his mother and his father bulldoze it yeah get rid of the grave and we'll all forget he ever existed all right start a custom life that first kid wasn't me that was someone else this one's called washing machine i can't fit it all in it'll have to be a washing machine i don't know why i spell that with a g i just removed it from one place put it somewhere else there we go washing machine start washing machines life all right let's go stop crying oh he's a scorpio like me okay looks not so good that might be a good thing i don't want everything handed to the guy just try to stay canned in vaccination actually get vaccinated that might help you see many awesome things you want to jump in oh a pile of horse dropping sweet i just got someone expelled from making fun of me for liking two chains this is a good timeline this is going better i don't think that was worth an expulsion like i ripped someone's eye out and i got away with it you were being bullied at school well the headmaster really likes me so let's just report him again he said he would look into it no delete him he's like what do you mean by delete him make him like last guy he gone no my mama passed away she died after me bitten by a poisonous spot in ireland what skipped the funeral oh god we just took a turn i was doing everything right up until that my happiness just plummeted now ella has asked me out look at that popularity i'm going out with you she's gonna dump me your classmate ella just announced your history teacher mrs cabell sees class that she is now kim jong-il and is taking over the class what i just ignore that as a cry for attention my big brother luke married shirsha morgan he and his wife sirsha had a baby girl named sophie call me or sophia called me sorry that's gonna be really confusing as a team they'll be like sophia call me be like oh okay that's a bit forward but all right this guy isn't as woke as the hairdryer was like he's just talking about himself it's time to take your driving test what does this sign mean i swear i can actually drive hold on um i want to say divided highway that makes sense i don't think we have those signs here in ireland but okay you passed it yay okay i graduated great i made it further than the hairdryer did in life pick a major okay i'm trying to be the opposite hair dryer so i should pick dance i couldn't listen you know i applied to a university why do i still have no money someone give me money just pay me in quarters only i'm a washing machine your friend and classmate isaac wants you to skip class with him and go watch a puppet show dude i'm like 19. why would i go see a puppet show i know i'm not going with you it's not even because i don't want to skip classes because i don't want to see a puppet show look at this life is going great i'm 96 happy who needs a mom i'm 90 healthy 98 smart 74 looks oh my girlfriend's pregnant it was all gone too well oh my god she had it already roshin is the name you know what i'm gonna stay with that and you know why because i felt like we're rochin into having a baby ah yes comedy wait i'm looking for a job okay with my dance degree uh what can i get into i'm just gonna go for like one of the highest paying things i think just go for pharmacists dude that's fine they laughed at my resume before throwing it in the trash well that was unnecessary i hope it wasn't there when they did it i'm starting to think majoring in dance wasn't the best idea i'm gonna go for a teacher's job i'm not qualified what what am i qualified and all i know how to do is dance assistant dance instructor no it doesn't seem for me now let's try that while being interviewed for the assistant dance instructor position at cart dance company you are asked the following question have you ever stole a pen from work i don't think things that aren't mine that's actually honest i i believe well maybe it wouldn't show up as a highlight like will you steal this pen probably not i went from having zero money to have a minus two thousand and now i earn 32 000 a year this is great this is all working out fantastic you're pregnant again what the hell what is wrong with you i'm starting to wonder if my dad is in the mafia anyway ella has been promoted to fire equipment operator this is the small little footnote in my 23 year old journal all right my next daughter's called return to sender i didn't want you you're not my favorite you're the proud father of a baby girl named return to send or call me and i've got a raise oh yay dancing is really paying off the internet is a buzz with humorous memes mocking the recent rollout of tesla motors new cyber truck this game is woke is this like a marketing game it's asking me like about teslas i want a cyber truck look at this uh my happiness is a hundred health 99 smart's 98 and looks 89 this guy is like the perfect human how did hair dryer go so wrong on your way to the shooting range you encounter a drop a door looking smug assault you elbowed his knuckle you squashed his finger you whipped his larynx you popped his tom and i got charged when you're in prison i was so unnecessary who will you hire to get the good guys not guilty there we go i'm not guilty i knew that good people would get me off of this your girlfriend is pregnant will you stop it and i got a promotion a 44 increase no matter what my guy does it just works out a baby son what will you call him girl oh my god look at that he's just too happy you can't stop him he's on top of the world stay away from social media honestly if you want to stay on top of the world just stay away i got attacked by a gangster with a golf club i'm picturing just an old man at the country club just running at me run away i have bunions no damage i don't want to die to bunions i keep getting raises like every two years this is fantastic my health has gone down a bit though because of my bunions while waiting for your uber driver you encounter a hooker whistling at you assaulter you attacked a hooker who was twisting you but she dodged you it's like if i can get away with it i may as well just go start assaulting people your father passed away he died while sleeping peacefully and i got some inheritance i wonder was he in the mafia let's attend his funeral and see if there's mafia people there no but apparently my boss was because he promoted me your girlfriend ella asked you to marry her you have been together for 21 years what will you do i don't think she can read speak or walk with the smart level down that low but she's got lots of money she looks great and our relationship is solid so accept the proposal my guy instantly got a lot less happy for some reason while sitting at the train station you come across a duffel bag filled what what appears to be pcp what would this is going to be a trap makes me sell it and consume all of it i want to sell it you were caught trying to sell the duffle bag well i've got fantastic lawyers that want 52 grand jesus christ they're good though not guilty how does he keep getting away with this your fiance wants to break up with you she explains that you're too boring in bed well it's because we keep having children we gotta stop eventually beg her to stay she decided to stay no shame but now i'm depressed and my happiness is at zero she wants to break up again you called her a mistake she was walking out the door a girl named freya thompson tells you that she is tired and would like you to take her home and put her to bed what will you do sure things are getting hot with freya thompson and you're thinking about safe sex what will you do now no point starting now oh my god that was really uncomfortable i didn't like that she asks you if you would like to read religious passages why your daughter returned to center is asking you to pay for a college education she wants to major in psychology why would he do something useless like that why don't you study something useful like dancing 65 000 but what if i need my expensive lawyer that's not my responsibility your ex fling freya sends you a calendar invite to come have intercourse with her this is very formal filer's training order she's been ordered to stay away from you for three years just go up to the judge with your phone like see this calendar invite been invasive don't you think you've been diagnosed with migraines no on top of bunions my niece sophia and max stewart divorced who is wait i remember sophia i don't remember this max guy you've been ousted from your position as dance director for cork dance comedy why you're told it is because you've been accused of masturbating at work that is so scorpio you called your supervisor a [ __ ] on your way oh that'll show them i have a lot of money but like i'm not ready to retire i'm 48. oh no no i have diabetes on top of my bunions someone massage my bunions should i not try and get a job would that be a good idea can i shop for a house a three bedroom two bath for 50 grand yeah we're getting that just buy it out right no need to waste time with banks i should probably try for a job somewhere there's got to be someone who'll take me on wait i can just apply to be a dance instructor that's paying more than i was getting before isn't it you didn't get an interview why i have 26 years experience is this because i called the supervisor a decade let's try and be a porn set janitor instead you were not offered the job no one wants me you were not qualified and wished you could like i would degree in it and have 26 years experience what more do you want male stripper it is come on please i'm not qualified what does that even mean what about a part-time job chicken sexer what is that it's the highest paying one please yes i'm gonna start stalking my ex-girlfriend why did i text her and tell her that i'm stalking her oh perfect's sake my guy is useless at stalking ever since he became a chicken sexer i feel like he's just not as smart as he used to be played the lottery buy 10 tickets i didn't win should i just keep trying this okay i think i'm developing a problem this isn't working and i'm just spending all my kids inheritance and lottery tickets you can just see this log there's a massive amount of lottery tickets there no age up come on i've been diagnosed with anxiety god damn it i need to do something for my happiness and health why is my health such an issue a witch doctor yeah she'll cure me it killed me what the hell you died after taking filet of fenney snake ribbons mediocre his life was good right up until the point where he became a chicken sexer and he started stalking his ex-wife and like the bunions the bunions i feel like were the turning point that was really fun though i can't believe it took me that long to get around to this it was really really good if you want to see more do let me know i can try another life and see what we can do i didn't really realize there was other options like in the activities i was just kind of aging up and trying to make the right choices but i didn't know you could go into the activities and like actually decide to do things that day so let me know if you do want to see more and let me know what you thought of the video but i hope you enjoyed it i appreciate you watching as always and i hope to see you next time bye for now

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 2,132,269

Keywords: kevin, callmekevin, kevin1811, funny, moments, gameplay, lets, play, game, cmk, clips, lets play, life simulator, playing bitlife, bitlife life simulator, bitlife challenge, bit life, life simulation, funny moments, bitlife game, bitlife gameplay, bitlife life simulator gameplay, life simulator game, funny bitlife challenges, living my bitlife, bitlife callmekevin, bitlife funny, bitlife funny moments

Id: vWke4wPgJC8

Length: 18min 8sec (1088 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 01 2019