Bitlife but I am a complete psychopath

hey there friends how's it going my name is Kevin and today we're playing more bit life we're gonna try and have a great life but not in real life in an app where it belongs don't have a life oh there's an app for that but yeah we're gonna start a new life and I am gonna try and be Jim Pickens if you don't already know that's my murderous sim who locks people in the basement okay I'm gonna try and channel his energy as much as I can like I want to get in the mind of a murderous sim which should be pretty easy I'm just gonna see if I could go to like the casino or something at age zero but I can't your mother is trying to take you to get vaccinated definitely throw a tantrum your classmate our Wang just hung your teacher mrs. Li wife Oh classroom teddy bear okay that's still bad they are hanging a teddy bear from a noose on the ceiling but I think Jim would laugh at that you've been sent to the principal's office insult him for sure you called him a scallywag oh that is expulsion I've been diagnosed with depression at age eight Jesus Christ my mother and my father had a baby girl named Jamelia my new sister she was a planned pregnancy I've been diagnosed with depression your classmate Stanley has been giving you a wedgie every day in the school bathroom it tousle with him tousle with him now you crushed his knee kept talking about escalation your friend and classmate Frank wants you to skip class with him and go to play charades instead what Willie - wow that's pretty daring very adventurous sounds amazing but I'm I just refused that's cool I really want to skip the play charades all day but you know I would just rather die okay what kind of club would I join if I always was that that was a gun join the paintball Club yeah I do that beefing up my college application by joining the paintball Club you were feeling strong heterosexual tendencies what are you I'm bisexual oh my god why is this look so low Jim we need to get something going here we need to get your mind and body improvement workout at the gym like Jim is feckin hench in the same cell he really should be going to the gym as much as possible you're no longer suffering from depression while going to the gym once cured oh my God look at this everything just went through the roof all of a sudden he's a much better person but what the hell is fibromyalgia I've never heard of that before pain accompanied by fatigue sleep memory and mood issues that's not good I couldn't go see a doctor this durable I need a better doctor go to the other one Darleen he'll fix it she makes it she was the better doctor I knew it I got it in the same day she cured it Jack said it to Jim let's just keep sending their joint social media this is where his life goes downhill wait no no share bit life in order and no no no no no no no we're not doing that no one needs to know I'm playing this this is just between you and me right he's so [ __ ] happy you failed your driving test why did your looks go down from failing the driving test I'm starting to suspect my mother is a regular at the nudist colony how can you start to suspect that graduated what's my degree gonna be his villany here I guess chemistry would help in my villainy your friend and classmate Diana tells you that she's gonna fail your professors class unless you later cheat off of you in the upcoming well report you to the Dean then I'll let the library you met a female named look it doesn't matter you're not crazy enough for me it's late now she's not my type she's not a lunatic like me oh my god I'm minus 63,000 because affecting school loans what I didn't get my dream job of being a male stripper even though I have a degree I don't some chemistry but like the chemistry between me and the patrons of the place so there's that the guy hiring him is immediately just like you're hired I like that why is this join me an edge back off I I hate hands by the way guys if you like Jim Pickens life so far you can buy these prints on the merch store they're cheap and they look great in any room in fact all the rooms buy buy lots of them honestly I don't know what job I can get with this degree I didn't really put much thought into it mortician maybe while being interviewed you were asked the following question which of these colors do you like best why is black not there okay I don't know why but magenta made me a perfect fit apparently my mortician is a very fitting job to be fair I feel like I should adopt the child yeah god damn it oh no children available plastic surgery maybe a penis enlargement yeah go for it it's cost eight granya get this surgery - 60,000 okay I gotta get to work so I can afford this surgery it's badly meted good murder someone just for the scene let's bring her home let's see an accountant oh my god what is this steal as many items as you can from the accountants home and escape without being caught where am I wait where am I what does [ __ ] I didn't understand I fled before the cops right ok I'm going back in Oh God ok yes the pawn shop give you 20,000 I gotta continue this I can do this okay what is my route here he is here how the hell am I gonna get away from this he's probably gonna come this way right so I'll do a loop wait no he didn't come to my way oh dear oh [ __ ] off he knows I'm here no he sees me run leave me alone this is my stuff now you probably the rapper's home and stole his television is teddybear disk attack it's like the teddy bear like I don't think sentimental value goes for high on the black market can I commit more crime you successfully stole the tie oh god age 22 has been an eventful year it's selling on the black market I got two and a half grand that was not worth it okay I just have my debt here this is great what is this about I looked at some butts what I know there's a long list of crime there but don't be a pervert on top of it while preserving a body at work you realize you only have enough embalming fluid to convene 90% of the job what will you do that can add water can I rub some more houses a plus-size model let's say we're gonna rob on Jesus Christ they've got two poodles oh I regret this can I back this got to be heard no effect off back off back off oh my god this is the most wrestlers in a pacman I've ever played I got quite a bit wow what a teddy bear computer only go for 800 come on Jim we gotta do this for that penis enlargement surgery grab the money grab the money and run and grab the money oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] no back back back back back you're facing three years in prison I can't afford anyone - please represent me you've been convicted and sentenced to three years in prison and you've been fired by the funeral home I don't want an ad just a quick reminder again folks there's a lot of merge down there in the description if you wanted me there's this and loads more we've the sweatshirts now and everything with some of our cool designs you should really check it out if this is anyone's first time watching me like this case such a dick you'll stop plugging is much another inmate tells you he would like for you to get to know each other more intimately what will you do sounds comforting maybe they can talk about their feelings and whatnot I think I should start a riot or attempt to escape or something attend to scape Jim Oh God the guide moves twice for every move you make he will only make moves towards you and will try to walk horizontally first well that's hecan't confusing he's gonna go down if I try not run him that's not gonna work I'm pointing at my screen but you can't see it let's use the cursor do they only move horizontally is that it oh [ __ ] okay yeah I get it no you faker I was so close extended by two years Jesus Christ I've been diagnosed with depression I can understand that start a [ __ ] riot it's like it makes such a happy noise it's like two people died and five more injured oh my god it's been extended by two years we gotta try and escape okay I can do this I think I was on the right track oh [ __ ] oh wait this is good I think maybe if I move one over here and then Becker how do I get him to go back like he's gonna catch me if I go down okay I think I'm screwed I don't think I can get out of this yeah okay two years I don't want an ad for four at night but let me tell you about my merch these adverts don't even work on me there's no point I think I might actually get my first epic victory royale wait what was I doing oh yeah bit life a fellow inmate asked you if you want to get swole and offers you give me the juice attempt to escape we got six years left wait what the heck how do I get out of here what the [ __ ] I don't understand go back yes yes wait down up I don't know I said up but I'm out it doesn't matter who I'm now on the run no no I'm free that's how it works once you get a say the walls it's all forgotten those steroids really worked though let's go commit some crime so I can get money for that penis enlargement before I die smiley face like unemployed is he's just happy to not be in prison donkey I'm gonna need you to like not attack me no not attacked me no no no no no we're staying away aren't we we're friends hey they're friends let me get his teddy bear it's got everything what no no no no no no no no no no no I'm not going back Oh whew all right I'm almost Plus in money oh my god this was a mistake can I can I back out I don't want to do this all feck off lads seriously back off you could send back to prison for 16 years well yes I got escaped okay this looks like how you just walk straight out but that is obviously not the way is it is this gonna work though yes I got out somehow immediately all right time to turn to crime you know what no actually let's not do this I could kill someone though I should adopt the child I got rejected why sue someone I can't think of anyone to sue right now I should emigrate let's move we're going to Poland why emigrate Herculean compete deported the resting resist arrest I would stay here for 28 years stop this okay that was very easier justice kid I just basically walked out the door she's pretty crazy ask her on a date yeah I'm dating someone is this year I'm dating she's a little bit obnoxious like I'm trying to do my own thing here and she won't let me have my piece I could be a babysitter you can trust me a dirty old man named Forrest he's a babysitter for six hours yay now I'm just four grand in the hole I'm gonna become a monk I was rejected for a criminal record hey aren't we all about forgiveness no what about a circus performer how did I find it I heard about it in prison I mean I died a friend told me about it damn it a warm picker come on please this is my dream job hood yes I'm a warm picker all I had to say is look my name is pagans could it get any better just like you have a point yes my depression is gone and I've got diagnosed with migraines both were caused by the worms I have worms it's just a job and do nothing for a year yes I can afford the surgery this has been my life goal it was botched why did you have my life now it all led up to this and you botched it I'd have to get more money and to do that I'm gonna have to wait can I kill the doctor I can't unfortunately I don't know why I keep robbing places I immediately regret this decision can I just leave I don't want to do this anymore I got $300 like I can't go back to prison yeah yeah story its sperm that's gotta be worth a lot of money they're not interested in my sperm what's wrong with it damn it they're not letting me adopt the child I gotta have a child somehow that's fine a one-night stand I'll wait that was with a guy that's not gonna get me a baby threesome double the odds there you go your enjoyment or enjoyment well I did have a bonnet penis and light with Oh God yes the doctor solved it also can you do something on my migraines that would be really good you continue to suffer I'll go to the other one she's useless anyway Todd what about alternative medicine acupuncture didn't help my migraines but I feel relaxed I'm just kidding everything even though they're unrelated oh I can sue the doctor yes find a law firm I don't know why I went to killing them instead of suing them I want 250,000 in damages and I'll pay the top lawyers to get it I don't have enough money okay I want a small amount of money and I'll pay a shitty lawyers to get it doctor Apollo laughed and called you a greedy imbrie dude I lost the lawsuit no your girlfriend Haley wants to break up with you she says it's because you talk during movies well I'm just more interesting in the movies lunch no you said subjective prison for 61 years all right we're gonna have to attempt to escape I'm afraid oh sweet Jesus how do I get out of this I got caught immediately hold on no no I don't care if you add on another eight years like I'm here forever basically anyway another inmate approaches you and ask you for your opinion on escape plans give them some objective feedback I mean you're the resident expert here oh no I've got to break your lump but in brighter news my little sister has been promoted to architect it do I not get some medical attention here like I'm in jail you've got to take care of me that's it I'm gonna attempt to escape and get my tuberculosis treated escape the perfect can I try and get another penis enlargement she botched it last time I'm not giving her another chance yes it's no four millimeters longer all my life savings twice there was that woman who said that I talk during movies Ailee is it no that's not that's not its weight which ex-wife there you go she called the police on you why would she do that you've been sent back to prison for 348 years yes I'm just kind of flailing when I get into hell he seems to get out pretty easy alright now that I'm out I'm coming for her she called the police stop it is 738 years and some might they just gotta be like like just kill him just kill him he died AIDS Tuberculosis eventually caught up with him here I feel like he was in prison way too much but other than that it felt pretty accurate I mean not a lot of people died which is a shame I feel like there should have been at least double digits worth of murders there and is this the Jim Pickens in pit life if you want to see more do let me know I'd be up for play more of these I'm such a blast with it it's such a simple app and it's just so fun just messin with him but yeah let me know about that I hope you enjoyed it I appreciate your watching as always folks and I hope to see you next time bye for now Sherrod patrons Brooke schooler Brooke Samuel Katie and Kyle Calchas jinx Casey bolt as Casey Norman Chandler Bell Shirley prota Dame's Chris Christian clue clears her story Russ Haven entertainment crow Dakota wing Daniel O'Neill dire wolf DJ crispy smooth drew Schindler duck stirs eccentric emily oakley eric weiner fables fabric at and friendo Kirsten

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 1,444,515

Rating: 4.9755831 out of 5

Keywords: kevin, callmekevin, kevin1811, funny, moments, gameplay, lets, play, game, cmk, clips, lets play, life simulator, playing bitlife, bitlife life simulator, bitlife challenge, bit life, life simulation, funny moments, bitlife game, bitlife gameplay, bitlife life simulator gameplay, life simulator game, funny bitlife challenges, living my bitlife, bitlife callmekevin, bitlife funny, bitlife funny moments

Id: DvPJWsGt9ek

Length: 13min 55sec (835 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 06 2019