Best of the Worst: The Instructor, Through Doohan's Eye, and Twisted Pair

oh so this is what a book is half [ __ ] this this is what some movies so I guess the first movie we're gonna watch is this the instructor starring Bob Saul coach of the US AAU karate team it's a pretty good look at that the action never stops in this stunt packed karate extravaganza of a black belt instructor who proves that his talents and expertise can be used to defend instead of destroy the instructor runs a local karate school and tries to impart to his students a sense of dignity along with the intricacies of the sport when he is threatened by a rival schools owner he puts his teachings into action through spectacular car chases that is not an exciting shot a car-chase II it's like rule number one going away from the camera is more exciting than coming towards it always teaching into action with car chases that's a whole new car series in the school I guess so I hope so through spectacular car chases and gripping hand-to-hand battles he tracks pursues and corners his adversary and that's it he just corners and then walks away and then the rest is left to your imagination mmm sounds dusty [Music] [Laughter] [Music] I was pregnant well rich our next movie is through dead eyes starring James Doohan who you might ask why it's Star Trek Scotty oh I wouldn't have known that not many people would and look it's autographed by James Doohan presumably before they shot him into space after he died you know saying saying that autograph it just makes me think of the awkward moment that happened here here's here's James Doohan right he's 85 years old and he's signing autographs at like a table at a Star Trek convention wondering where his life went wrong and then this and then some [ __ ] walks up with through dead eyes and says can you sign this and it's just like that's where it went wrong that's how it all ended for James Doohan yeah well those are the last days of his life [Music] James Doohan Scotty from Star Trek case we forgot bucks the stars in this thrilling horror slash murder mystery but an old unsolved string of murders and a psychic who can see how and when people will die a police detective hunted serial killer whose only victims are women turning to a psychic to help solve the crime he discovers she is tortured by her power to see through people who will soon die you know I don't have to touch your vagina right together they are determined to catch the killer he also seeks assistance from a retired detective Doohan no God who sits on a couch in one room and bangs out all of his scenes within 5 minutes there is a picture on the back of him sitting in the couch very specifically him sitting in a car and it's an action scene because he's holy a gun so he's still sitting in his recliner so they get people to buy this James Doohan but you'd think if they're gonna lure you in with James Doohan you shouldn't have to explain who he is what does that say that say about him yeah it's just some more stuff on the back yeah who really cares yeah right that's just gonna be sitting in the couch the sense of stuff I can't wait to watch this do you think do you think the dead eyes are gonna be his yeah I got one dead eye maybe he loses the other one in the movie he's called dead eyes [Laughter] hi Mike how you doing good James that second film we watched sure was something else yeah what do you want to watch next oh yes uh well I I discovered this this CD case that contains a a film which looks mysterious it had it's been printed on a home DVD printer oh okay this is either this either traveled from the early 2000s into the future so someone can someone can afford printer ink yes this person is wealthy principled DVD I traveled through time right well it either traveled through time or it is a Neal Breen film whoa [Music] neoprene that sends like a sandwich spread it is both a sandwich spread and a man a a filmmaker from Las Vegas Nevada named Neil Breen who's made other films apparently yeah I've heard filmmaking is a real gamble so this is the new Neil Breen film we've done two of his films before best of the worst this is twisted pair breaks cover a 2018 there's no box there's no artwork it's all mysterious he could not make he could not be bothered to make a case for this or any money itself distributed it on a printable burnable dvd-r yeah i wonderful be able to make a case for whether the movie is good or not oh my god one of them's a giant oh yeah see kales shirt opens on the Left okay it's open right yeah where are the Rings them close the prisons like they've been after being abducted by aliens to gum the same jeans he's growing look at it yellow the final time I saw kale broke my heart although we were now humanoids I still felt a bond and love for him as my brother oh my god faster faster more intense and so watch this whole movie at 1.5 if suddenly is really good [Music] so nice to be in Hawaii yeah you know it's we're all festive I didn't think it was gonna be such a dry heat you know I I take charge but that just feels morally wrong like on the end of the table no good thing I'm gonna I'm gonna take charge because I may lose my voice at some point during this discussion and then if I don't have to explain a movie then I'll just sit here nod for the video you know it was ADR it really awkwardly mister yeah let's dump my voice over I'll remember what I do yeah paging mr. Herman paging mr. urban mr. Herman mr. Herman you have a telephone call at the front desk our first movie is the instructor and Colin you brought this down like two years ago or something I think so yeah I gave it to us and then we just we just shoved it in the corner yeah I saw a screening of this in Toronto in an actual movie theater with people not a film print though not a film print I don't even know if this exists on film but this is the only copy I could get to barely exists on DVD it's like a VHS rip and it's it's trying to kill itself as the video goes on shouldn't be a very simple story it's just a story about shouldn't well it is today it's just about to rival karate schools it's basically Cobra Kai yeah sure just with more car chases and awkward fight scenes you say it like that it's like okay I get what that is when you actually watch the movie it is one of the most confusing things I've ever seen like none of us knew what the hell was going on now who characters were no there's there's our hero there's there's Bert Pesci this guy he looks like a tiny Burt Reynolds they just left the camera on they're running back to get it let's use that it's like if you just cut it off Donald's head like you just took a [ __ ] saw to it and just started directly on Joe Pesci's torso this is what you did that's our lead care where Charles Manson with an afro in a karate suit although I've never seen Joe Pesci run so I don't know how accurate this guy's running is to Joe Pesci's but it's pretty good running in Joe Pesci's body okay so slightly awkward he's not quite used to that body okay so this kind of has like a backstory it's almost like Miami connection like behind the scenes this guy Don Bendel Owen this karate school any school life in real life he's he's still a karate instructor today he's got a big karate school no and I guess decide he wants to make a movie and I guess like all of his students are are the stars of this film he's actually in the film but he's not the lead actor it feels like the the Bert Pesci should be the guy right is like it's his vanity project so it's surprising that's not usually when your action hero is the guy who should not be your action hero yes it's an ego vanity right yeah so if you're getting if you're the director and you're not the lead you would think that the person you're going to pick would be like the kind of like muscular handsome guy not the five foot tall guy with a snap-on official fisher-price adventure people body yeah so this movie opens and it's and the director jogging and it's obvious that it's a wig it couldn't look more like a wig well the idea we looked it up on IMDB the the opening and the movie was a reshoot it was done several years later because most of the movie like his hair looks stupid and weird but it's as really his hair looks naturally that openings see that's so clearly a wig it could yeah it's like chubby Checker's hair right like like tape on the tape or a weighted foam it reminds me of like it reminds me of like a like a big boom microphone hood [Music] what it's been wait what the ninjas just what what the [ __ ] just happened and apparently in a scene that we just didn't get Dom DeLuise ninja is forced upon the female gang member right cuz we're like is he raping her what is happening we had no idea what was going on yeah is this is a very very confusing scene when our hero say he's raping her yeah yeah and then they jump in to save the girl but I think she pulled him down onto her I was just walking home and these guys from this gang just grabbed me pulled me right in the center and they flipped me on top of that girl and I didn't even know her my mom knew that she would crack up man who the hell are you we do eventually find out that he really is a creep so I'm assuming he was lying about that theory I knew we find out he's oh oh yeah I forgot the whole movie he beats somebody to death over the trophy oh god we see them for four seconds and oh god then we get into a scene that has nothing to do with anything else that ever happens in the film yeah and this looks like some gang out of like escape for New York yeah I think this whole scene is like something they're fighting they got trash can lids is weak we're calling them the Garbage Pail Kids yeah that's their gang there's got that 80s like the the Wardrobe is all sort of like bad 80s apocalyptic sci-fi almost [Music] slowly walk towards his kick [Music] [ __ ] wait and this is the reshoot and it just makes the movie so much more confusing because this is happening and then there's lots of pickup shots of people saying get him disconnected from each other but you need a giant large action scene to open your movie what's happening but that cliche of like yeah there's a group of you know gang guys in an action movie that are coming after our hero but they come after them one at a time usually you just see you know the bad guy like run into frame here we're getting like overhead shots of everybody just standing around it's like they have it's like they had another Delhi and they have their number number two because 22 kicking the balls it very much seems like moves that aren't designed to be like Hollywood style come from it seems like they're doing moves you would teach to like a woman for self defense purposes half their moves involve grabbing somebody's balls a lot of ya rabb there's so many ball hits in this movie this movie should have been called twisted-pair the movies are very competent the camera work is just shoddy it's what the editing is is interesting so so that kick off the motorcycle is like and then the guy gets knocked off it's like Liam Neeson trying to jump over a fence oh yeah we're like 20 edits yeah it's a one-second sequence and yeah there's like 25 edits we take three private lessons right after you determine your chances baby basic balance and coordination at the end of that time our chief instructable evaluating karate and a bookshelf our brains have to process this and Anil Breen will be home yeah can we talk about that that's my favorite scene in the movie is the the awkward boring droll phone conversation well sexy karate is happening I think he's supposed to be like who she's doing sexy karate but he's just strolling talking on the phone about like yeah we're open we can say I think that's I think that's supposed to be a contrast though like he's trying he's trying to have the business call but he's distracted no we don't teach kungfu we teach karate I think he's talking that kids parent because he's like no no no don't go to that level yet like to learn this first we teach karate it's also weird and then like yeah cuz we're seeing him and then there's a mirror in the foreground so you see her in the reflection of the mirror she's doing she's just like in like like an empty void like the lighting is so bad it looks like she's just floating in space so this leads in he takes off and then leaves her still at the studio or the dojo and then the rival gang break in we think I think so I don't our hero assumes that because the rival gang guy said something like I'm I'm gonna get you one of those types of things think break in and then you're thinking oh god this is gonna be a rape scene because yeah from the 80s then she takes the rap handles herself really well the important thing is he tracks the perpetrator down after the cops have already surrounded the perpetrator yes and so then he shows one of the cops out of the way I think so he is he kicks the cop out of the way so he can kick this guy's ass the cops are just gonna let him do this cop and the police don't do anything about it they all just stand there watching with their guns drawn and that disco is great too because the the table and chairs that are in there it looks like a like a mall food court and then the art on the walls makes it look like a like a roller rink but I guess it's a disco oh god I wanna you know I wanna say this everything is ugly yeah like literally every piece of clothing every hairstyle every person Ashton every wall decoration every bit of architecture everything is disgustingly ugly every mustache yeah it's lit horribly - it's just like a big spotlight behind the camera yeah you can have this like some weird remaster of this where it's like remastered in 4k and you'd watch it again just be like you what is this who's in the wheelchair what is happening is that his wife now I guess this is why is it worth wonder why is the wife dying the catalyst for the revenge you know I'm gonna kick everybody we find out the lead characters wife was murdered and we call we got flashbacks to that so is it implied that the rival school guy was responsible no it's never just a random it's just a thing it's just the background for this character that doesn't pay off in any way well first we flash back to him discovering his wife's dead body right and then we flashback after that to them like frolicking on horses which is like no you do the reverse of that yeah we have to see them together and then he discovers her dead and you put this at the beginning of the movie instead of just randomly dropping it somewhere in the middle or just don't have it at all rhyme or reason it doesn't factor into the plot at all he's got a kind of vengeful spirit about him because yeah he goes after that one guy he fairly says a Napoleon complex right boy I miss tough and I'm so tiny yeah you would know this often I'm so tiny don't don't use that cutaway or use the cutaway inside so after a few like fights it ends up at this karate competition yes is someone writing competition that we haven't been building towards and hasn't really been mentioned yeah it's just the thing that's happening yeah Frank Zappa Donald Sutherland the director yeah wins wins the trophy he catches the the creepy Dom DeLuise guy with his trophies like what are you doing [Applause] I mean it's a very like believable like murder scene especially when they cut to him laying on the ground after Dom DeLuise his life as he ever didn't blood and he's nothing on his face or head at all we got the People's Court theme he doesn't assume it was Dom DeLuise no Dom DeLuise did it the rival karate guy had nothing to do with this yeah but it instantly goes after the rival karate he gets in his Corvette with some other one other student and sets out to find this guy and then goes to a barbecue I check once I have one time only there I'll just hang it out on someone's place yes oh he's getting in the water yeah that's production by wet clothes there's some good old boys sitting out on the porch is sure they're here little apart he beats the [ __ ] out of everybody and then one of the guys offices have nunchucks yeah at the barbecue let's go get messy just leaves in the middle of the fight like fight it's still going on he's like I'm gonna get my car and leave I think this was around the point in the movie where I started to realize that the the post-apocalyptic gang from the beginning of the movie just was never coming back yeah this is like the entire second half of the movie this is the best part it's the most epic cartoon this is in say oh my god you know there's the occasional like mini ramp which is or like a fruit like booth just like in the middle of a field it's made out of cardboard boxes like it goes on and escalates but one of my favorite parts about that is when they get to the big city and you can just see masses of people on the corners watching the film shoot yeah well it has that feel like it was shot in Ohio yeah somewhere middle of Akron oh yeah do you see Akron you see like Cuyahoga karate school or something different areas of Ohio yes actually they put a lot of effort into it like the environments and things like that just in terms of shooting and shooting time but yeah it just ends up well I was gonna say it feels like that kind of like like the small town like all bands together like hey yeah yeah but that was probably in the front page at the newspaper several times ya have car chase through the middle of town Oh God 35 miles an hour big Hollywood production it's the most exciting thing to happen in Ohio since that river caught on fire on the DVD itself it says shot on location in entirely shot on location in LA it does it is not shot in LA is like Jon Favreau's Jungle Book mm-hmm where was it filmed entirely on location in Los Angeles that is the old place life taken why this cuz you know the footage looks like [ __ ] right now so they filmed the movie in Akron Ohio and then they put it on like a VHS tape they flew that telling the Corrado TV movie was Charlotte's holy [ __ ] [ __ ] were we with that vet what a waste oh no he's just gonna run away good thing is mustache protective steel and motorcycles now hooligan Scooby's baby blue velour like lounge suit on motorbikes what did they crash the cars and then they run and find these guys to kick people off motorcycles and then holy and then it keeps going into a motorcycle chase and they are driving so slow at points like the one that's chasing the other could have just gotten off his motorcycle this ran up to him the Bert Pesci guy is constantly wiping out on the bike like he can't control it but yeah I don't know who could if you're not a stunt driver at driving a motorcycle through water [Music] oh my god I'll be careful you're [ __ ] thrown in chasing each other through a waterfall and they like end up in the air very fell over again okay both okay the bad guy should really just say why are you changing it's kind of romantic he hits he hits velour tracksuit guy and then I guess he falls off a cliff no no isn't he like holding out his hand you guys are missing the chainsaw fight oh Jesus Christ oh [ __ ] this is really good the background oh yeah [ __ ] these guys are [ __ ] nuts looks like the end of Mandy what we thought it was like a fake cheese it flies out of his hand at one point hits the ground and you can see the smoke and everything yeah and then there's an axe on the ground [Music] [ __ ] the woods yes he's gonna find a gun [Music] really going at it [Applause] oh that was so he probably actually died they just work that into the movie as an excuse this is the distributors like here's another 10,000 kill someone well he doesn't them going to jail so maybe the rest of the movie is just a documentary there's so many movies where the movies over I'm wondering how the hell did this not end in like a five-year long legal battle yeah yeah there's no consequences usually like every movie where a ghost kills somebody who's getting the blame just tell the cops it was the ghosts right oh there's the pumpkin demon officer you kind of with me your friends are all dead you're the only survivor yeah come on well five hundred dollar fine sentence for killing a man the children grand theft two counts of Grand Theft Auto and one count of manslaughter that's just $500 bucks yeah so it's a big celebration no smoking and then Donald Sutherland shows up again and he's dead he's got like a neck brace and like almost very comical he's like OJ Simpson and the naked guy just keeps getting injured I just really one of them now light up cigarettes including the kids and just well building just explodes cuz why not yeah which is why the no smoking sign was put there in the first place yeah flammable karate school it was the alternate title for the film the flammable karate selector is good I would take that movie now it's next to the turpentine in fact [Music] for a karate school instructor who's probably the first and last film he ever made really kill the guy on set of course it's the last thing we ever made it'll be the first and last Wiggy ever wears that's probably not true she's wearing his hair our next film is through dead eyes starring Star Trek's James Doohan Scotty Scotty from Star Trek that's the whole thing is starting Star Trek's James Doohan aka Scotty from Star Trek that's the full credit yeah rich explain through Jedi yeah through dead eyes as obvious from the cover here stars uh James Doohan Star Trek's Scotty yeah and he plays a guy who shows up twice in the film because guy in chairs they filled them at home on his easy-chair our actual star who looks like several different peepers Campbell David Tennant and Matthew Perry yes with no talent my friend is dead well he's he's a terrible actor and the character is a terrible terrible person as we'll soon find out yes he has to team up with a psychic to stop a string of serial killings against her will a blind psychic a blind psychic this is an order from Chief of Police Burrell fret it says that I'm to bring you in for questioning this this is a movie about a detective who takes a blind psychic he kidnaps her brings her to his apartment won't let her leave for days until she agrees to handcuffs her and gags her and those are laying on the floor of his apartment and they love to get Stockholm he yells at her I will stop why won't you help me he emotionally abuses her very demanding Mogi he lies to her he says he's gonna take her to the police station [Music] said he takes her to the morgue to make [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] having a stroke she's big joke she's experiencing the death my clairvoyance tells me she was killed she's clairvoyant she also does charades well that's the whole thing is the eye she can touch someone and then she has visions of of how they died of how they died or whatever so yeah meanwhile there's a killer loose that that is terrorizing the town yeah and you know she keeps having like visions of this killer we also get to see the killer who's coming up and the killer's trademark is crushing someone's throat yeah soaking them to death he's unnaturally strong obviously the killer is a man a woman is to be human is too weak movie makes it very clear whether I have no strength before were strangled by a male believed to be very strong their throats were crushed that takes better than average hand strength and it rules that a woman is the killer the one thing we know for sure is that our killer has to be a man yeah with an oil it's a man with an eyepatch no less well the killer's wearing it's very I think the I don't know who this guy I looked him up he only directed this one movie but I think he's influenced by like like Dario Argento like Italian jobless stuff because the killer has like the black gloves he has a staple of those some of the death scenes are very like stylized like the lighting gets like colorful and weird and and then yeah he's wearing him the killer who's definitely a man is wearing a mask with an eyepatch on it and James Doohan is also wearing an eyepatch tonight it's never explained why isn't iPad you because red herring because red herring yeah cuz yeah so why he's where James Doohan is it's because his face is a mask are you saying it's not really James Doohan it's somebody in the James Doohan mask it's actually George Takei [Applause] we need some more famous Oh God what so what I'm I'm retired he had to remembers lime the yeah detective he goes to visit him because he was the detective of the case eight years ago the killings have started again now yeah he never caught the killer and the newspaper made a point of mocking him horribly and calling him a failure in the newspaper article there's a picture of James Doohan which is a promotional picture from Star Trek and it says distinguished career ends in failure yeah and James Doohan in this movie he is amazing he is the the performance of a lifetime his first scene is so embarrassing so bad oh my god it's because he's like he comes to the door and he's like like he looks like a insane person but he's like he's doing this like gruff voice and we're like is that him trying to cuz he's like my wife is sleeping upstairs and we're like is that him trying to like whisper and he talks like that through the whole movie so I guess not no you saw you almost imagine he assumed it was like a pirate movie exactly you know what's strange James Doohan in this he just make me realize how good Cameron Mitchell is when he phones in his scene I said that's that's what I want to mention in relation to talking about like Italian movies too is a lot of them will have like for a couple of scenes they'll have like John Saxon or like Cameron Mitchell and then so this is this movie's version of that where you cast the name celebrity in a small part because it should be Cameron Mitchell really where or or you can see it as James like this movie shows just how good James Doohan is at being Scottie oh yeah for sure James Doohan did not give a [ __ ] I'm looking miss RuPaul richer guys have the same shirt James Doohan is a terrible actor I'm saying in this he did not give a [ __ ] I think he's trying but he's this really bad whole thing made me afraid be afraid he was just really tired there's certain times for he's kind of going for it but he just doesn't have the time yeah I don't think he's good you don't think he just didn't like glance down to the lines five minutes before they shot ya there's again he just spend most of the movie in a chair and that's clearly a sign that he doesn't give a [ __ ] but yes so he's he's a gruff old crabby man and he plays a character that's but this this led to the great debate during the screening of this film we have a movie that is a murder mystery mm-hmm and we have three characters oh yeah there's no red herrings does there's no other heritage two other characters appeared to be the protagonists true so who is the killer until we're introduced to the woman who owns the costume shop yeah well that's jumping ahead quite a bit I guess that's okay because nothing else happens in the movie but yeah an hour into the movie we meet yeah because he goes to the costume shop to see if they have the masks that your killer is wearing well do they know it's a mess yeah the psychic can see the final thing yeah that the murder victim sees she's looking through dead eyes the dead bodies that our hero forces her to touch and then she starts doing the Oh her overacting yeah she's like and three and [Music] she over acts being distressed traumatized and then our detective over acts being an [ __ ] yeah which really makes this an uncomfortable movie oh it's true this is that quality of the clairvoyant actress when when so there's a knock at the door and she opens the door and she looked right at the person who's you know arrived at the door and then the rest of the scene she's like a certain point in the scene I think you can see the moment she realizes she looks away but yeah like because her character is kind of under distress until she falls in love with him for no reason but it comes across almost like she's being forced to act in this movie against her will yeah our psychic she has she has two clearly defined powers mm-hmm she can see the last images of a dead body she touches it or if somebody's about to die she she sees what they look like when they when they when their death match you can see they're doesn't ask yeah but the twist it leads to the twist of the movie because whenever she touches detective the reason she falls in love with him it's because she sees that the Riddler oh they're they're cuddling yeah they're together they're together in their peaceful oh this will work out nicely completely forgetting how her own psychic powers work you can see the twist of this movie coming a mile away but every time it's such a dark ending you just assume they won't go there what screenwriter in his right mind would kill off are really sympathetic distressed psychic she may be clairvoyant but I don't know how bright she is because what she does see like the death mask hurts all right the them cuddling they're cuddling in like dark dead soil lying on the ground here here's our peaceful future maybe we're gonna live on a farm or something yeah we're sure we're camping in a suit and fancy dress yeah so the only reason she falls in love with him just because she has visions of them being happy together she's really just seeing their dead body yes yes with a mixture of Stockholm Syndrome right so then the detective visits the costume store and like we mentioned this is the first time we see this old lady and she just happens to have the exact murder mask what do you want to be a warlock or how about the Tin Man yes you'd make a fine or detective detective Sam Spade secret agent perhaps I am a detective that's the directors wife that's the only excuse for this this nonsense if they were to do a reboot of this I would I would cast Tilda Swinton in her role oh you can cast Tilda Swinton in every role that's right she played an old man in our area I'd watch it all Tilda Swinton version of through dead eyes she esta wat watch like years and years of Star Trek to get down she's wearing a green sock on one of her fingers like a digital book no she actually enlist in the military and goes to war and loses one of her fingers in a battle there's a nice cute touch when they go into the costume store and the first thing you see on the wall they decide when they go in there completely inaccurate Star Trek uniforms oh yeah I think that was I didn't think that was an easter egg I think those were probably just there is there a William Shatner mask or was it a joke Mike Myers mask oh I bet you James Doohan was just like I don't want a [ __ ] Shatner mask in that store but he wanted the back he was on set for one day [Laughter] she did it and she seems odd and off and she's probably the killer well it turns out she's the killer and he's also James James Doohan's wife time my character talks about their their wife and for multiple scenes you don't never I think he's just embarrassed to talk about his wife because she works in a costume Laura and also she's a murderer she's embarrassed to talk about him because she's married Scottie did she have any family family would family that a girl paint her face like an Indian would family let a young and attractive girl wear jeans so tight that's the problem there are no restraints no one holds back are you his girlfriend are you a [ __ ] a [ __ ] like Dana Carvey but then yeah that's when we discover she's the killer and she's wearing the stupid mask yeah it's comical once she puts it on yeah then she uses her Darth Vader hands she's unnatural bored to death [Music] toxic Avengers it's not explained at all she's unnaturally strong and at one point the detective breaks in or comes into his and she throws him across the room into the wall yeah it's like where did she get the strength from but the psychic says no wait stop I don't see her death mask she she isn't allowed to die she's not going to die I guess right even if you continue to drown her so she only sees the death of you know the two of them yeah and she's at the she's burying two bodies in the daytime in the cemetery cemetery and every time it cuts to them it's like clearly night with like bad lighting like did there just happen to be like I'd find a freshly dug grave like there so there's a headstone yeah the dream - the tombstone is aged beyond belief that looks like has been there for a hundred years maybe she dug up four previous corpse maybe she dug her up her own corpse I did there's a tombstone there this clearly like been there he's done years and there's like a new hole a new grave dug I just tossed it somewhere broad daylight window of a daylight the previous body is directly under them yeah you didn't dig all the way you go you fix the plot this movie is flawless when you think about it they've thought of everything so that the grave she dug is four feet under and after she's done her her cemetery duties she arrives back home this is the exciting moment with Jay - Hannah's the gun we get on the back of the box and this acting scene between the two of them is there really it's a combination of somebody overacting and somebody just wanting to nap I coulda said it should have been a John Waters movie yeah her performance in that scene is is I think Mike mention that it's like something right out of a John Waters film it's beautiful perfect a perfect thing in the eyes of God it's camp because your camp most of the movie is kind of dull like it's not horrible it's dull and it's stupid but her performance in that scene really pushes it like it should but it should have been a creep show bit yeah yeah yeah this whole story should have been shorter a shorter Creepshow bit so maybe she shouldn't know where those glasses or Mary James like we've just spent like an hour and a half discussing the first two movies we're gonna we're gonna trim the [ __ ] out of that because we're gonna talk about Neal Breen now I you know I don't know if there's as much to talk about with this movie as there has been in the past this is almost like okay now we get it a little bit mmm it's assembly the most coherent no Breen movie we've ever gotten yeah he's blossoming as a storyteller you bring yeah what the [ __ ] are you talking about I'm saying this movie Neil brain is becoming the best storyteller that Neil brain can be mm-hmm okay that's fair yeah I think I think Neil brains brain needs to be donated to science yeah they need to study while he's still alive yeah saying what every 48 seconds a I will reach a level of self-awareness and able to consider complicated thoughts and have sensations the final human invention a I artificial intelligence thank you you know they say like films are kind of like a look into the the filmmakers mind yeah in some respect and you just look into this it's just madness yeah you could go mad you can drive yourself crazy looking looking for answers the forces advancements in AI far surpassed anything on earth synthetic brain power I have no brain po twist twisted pair is a movie about kale and Kade two twins kato kaelin what hail hail and Kade okay uh two brothers who I think were abducted by aliens and turned into some kind of AI human hybrid I knew it was you kale it's pretty good which I don't need right off the bat I didn't understand that how are they a I they're still humans well this is some alien intelligence AI I don't think he understands what AI he doesn't the aliens took him and his twin brother who was also him right when they were young and like turn them into super a eyes but they're also still human so there refers to himself as humanoid even though a humanoid is something that resembles that discards Neil breathe did you see his hair that is not human you know that is that's gorilla hybrid humanoid transcended that's something they didn't mention the movies that the aliens transplanted transplanted gorilla hair on his head it's dry straw artists performance in the movies is here and the scene it's so tense because you don't know if the hair is gonna blow up or not yeah I can't take it it's Oh God the hair is just struggling and it's gonna blow down the street like a newspaper the movie is called twisted-pair I always imagined like if you think oh that person has really twisted it's like they go strangling cats or something it's night someone of someone that's twisted but in this movie they're both just kind of boring [ __ ] it's boring like what is this guy doing he's gonna Community College every night and wandering around sneaking around and there's part of the movie it's not a community college though no Mike on the movie it's it's it's a restaurants it's a it's the government built an alleyway it's an alleyway and it's all just on that same front step area yes yeah it's a universe that is entirely comprised of abandoned community college campuses if the entire universe this movie takes place it okay looks at one point they show the background and there's two [ __ ] moons you are so incredibly brilliant you mean the world to me what planet is the song it's like the end of Mandy except that's in the middle of the movie yeah and it's just it's just I won Sean that's never like a metaphor for twisted-pair I mean that is yeah the the parallel and then I will say this is his most lynching in film oh my god there's lots of like surreal like this apart with what's the David Lynch would say no I'll be right Boal [ __ ] total [ __ ] [ __ ] what there's the what's the the villains name that changes actors at one point was cool but he goes to coozes house and it's like a mansion who's this very lynching yeah yeah all that stuff where it's like there's a woman wearing butterfly wings or something is this like eating artificially lowered voice yeah they [ __ ] with his voice that all feels very touching his ghostly petting his diamonds he's obviously stroking them it's not costume jewelry yeah he has a bull plastic plant dollar store diamond that he carries around with him everywhere coozes empire is planning the takeover of the earth and also has three sentient ceramic cats that's right yes yeah so that and then also the idea that there's the doppelganger thing that's a repeated thing and David Lynch's stuff yeah he's something weird about those cats because they keep rotating yeah you know figure eight it reminds me I just wonder if Neil Breen like heard about that thing that happened in that Museum I think it was in Britain or something and there was this I don't know if it was a cat statue but there was a statue and security cameras we would capture it rotating occasionally oh that's and then they'd come in the next day and they'd see it like rotated like you know like 90 degrees or something was Neil Breen behind it no turned gray turned out it was like construction or something outside wow I always wonder if that's where you got the idea zak bagans construction noise big jackhammers it's like for Neil brains next movie or their first cats are on eBay right now yeah crowdfunding but there there is yeah the the the dual sort of thing going on with the two brothers Who am I what am i what's happened to us and then you have the two brothers sort of you know love scenes and they have parallel lives they parallel lives and they're parallel love interests and the first one is is him they're following a woman to her house this is really creepy well he bumps into her in front of the homeless man and his rubber rats no you look like a filthy alley that's his friends that's the homeless man's friends excuse me excuse me I'm so sorry he's he's being a real [ __ ] creeper yeah who won't leave her alone he's like no hey you want to go for a drink you know just like leave me alone you creep whatever and then she she walks home he starts following her I'm gonna hurt you now you're mine now I'll teach you to ignore you were supposed to meet me at a fish you can't fight me why is that painting there it turns out it's just a game they were playing yeah it's even worse if it's a border before that yeah he's like like he attacks her and she smashes like a painting over his head how often do they roleplay and how many paintings does she brilliant over his head maybe call her beforehand and said you know did you make that painting at a balsa wood and painting frame and you know because I then I'm gonna call you [ __ ] three times [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] you don't know the part of the appeal that they have to pretend to not know each other in front of homeless people is that a part of it yeah and in front of rubber rats these two rubber rat supply the homeless guy and we don't know is the homeless guy crazy and just has these rubber rats or as Neil Breen using them as pranks they're supposed to be his mind that scene is like a filthy alleyway that's the idea that's how a very clean community college guess that's of the Community College for the entire [ __ ] movie is filmed the very new Community College they just built last year its pristine yeah was he trying to do some weird contrast with his evil side well we get that contrast because we get a really similar sea scene with Kade kale and there you know like passing us like whatever turian woody which makes it evil they have like a weird fight scene but it's real because they're both strung out on drugs apparently [Laughter] [Laughter] and like he pushes it off the bat this is a mistake like her and then she just kind of awkwardly rolls off the bed yeah but he tries to smack her and then catches some of the wine bottles I'm wondering if you actually hear the sound effect but when she smacked him she just like catches his hoodie but this is like his version of what like an alcoholic drug-addicted couple relationship they just have tons of bottles and pills like bottles yes yeah it's like it's like a student film or something that's it's like in every aspect of like you know whether it's that or other acting as Neil Breen just seems to be like constantly impersonating a human being yeah as opposed to representing a human being yeah I trust you completely it's like he doesn't know how to impersonate a human being it's just that's cuz he's above human being that's there anything through all of his movies is that that he's here to teach us I'm the way I am the web yeah I'm the best that's ever existed he's got a Messiah Complex yeah I mean that's every one of his movies yeah but that's what the weird thing about this is like is he starting to be conflicted about that and that's why he developed this other character the only one that can take down Neil Breen is another Neil brain I'd say that because I thought they were gonna have a fight at the end they never have a fight what's going on here is like it's actually kind of interesting really his double down he's just the badass yeah it's Finn's it's fantasy Neil Breen and then you get like to pass through the last one we watched yeah and he still thinks very highly of himself but like the crazy has started to creep in I have eliminated 300 million humans from the planet today in human terms I have killed them all these were humans that were harmful to other humans he takes a dark turn in that movie where he just comes across as a guy who wants to see the world burn yeah and and here in twisted parrots like he started to become self-aware of that yeah and so he took all of the negative aspects of his own personality that he's developing ah that's just a separate character time to like exercises he's right it's like he's trying to exercise his crazier thoughts it's like Superman 3 is like the evil version he's not self-aware as a filmmaker no but he's like it's like he's becoming self-aware that he's crazy yeah yeah we does have the Messiah Complex but in pass through as well as this movie he's he also has a real apparently a real connection to animals while developing further and further in a humanoid state over the years is he supposed to be the stomp these nuzzling but not enough of one to actually be there with the animal yeah badly I think more than that is a connection to green screen yes good morning have a nice day uses a lot of stock footage that he kind of be more great super self into a la I mean that was what it stuck stood up to me the most in this movie is it's like he just discovered shutterstock.com you know yeah like he's just discovered that stock footage is a thing that exists like the army guys where he's like oh yo that way which has nothing to do with the rest of the movie I guess that's just to establish that he is like a savior follow me they can't hurt me you won't get hurt follow me he has to be somewhere at this point right that is a question that they all cannot answer this is too much he's overplayed his hand you know rich you underestimate crazy I don't believe it I don't believe it well he does not know he's the super badass made by the aliens to be super badass and then he works with some kind of agency that he may or may not be the head of and the aliens may or may not be ahead yeah fight all of the evil in the world yes which his brother was also created to fight all of the evil in the world but didn't do it quite so good and then had his power is removed and then became a now but even though isn't good at fighting evil still fights evil by kidnapping corporate guys who are very just blunt and and honest about the evil thing thank you stolen cars millions embezzled from charities all the politicians we've been paying on oh we've been politicians off for years I was getting passed through flashbacks at that party yeah and their corpses multiplied I think this is supposed to be other people that he's killed we think but he just yeah he just copy pasted the same three people over and over speaking about pasted there's a lot of like phony mustache yeah and you can see the spirit gum kind of bleeding through well that's what I'm saying it looks like like scotch tape yeah yeah and it's like the light is constantly shining off it and there's two characters Mike's not here it's it's like Spock in the mirror universe well that's the creepy part is the of the other guy yeah the the the businessman or whatever with the fake mustache and then later we have another character played by the same actor from that scene yeah he plays another character later in the movie and he's wearing clearly that same mustache like they just reuse that same disgusting mustache he's a master of reusing everything he can oh yeah as I say Leo Breen doesn't cut out anything he just reused his stuff to get the movie longer dialogue scenes shots Eagles everything he can reuse the special effects over and over to the jump even when he's falling down he jumps up and immediately this is and sheep now this is how humans go back oh yeah that's a great moment where it's like neoprene didn't know that like it's like he doesn't even understand what sleep is it's not like oh I woke up and startled I'm gonna go back to sleep it's like he's like he like he has narcolepsy and he just passes out yeah sleep now like I was like Microsoft or Google like they had they tried to have like the the chat BOTS they tried to teach to communicate with people is that your dream they should vocalize the little Clippy guy with no brains boys it looks like you're having trouble here what do you want how can I help you do like text-to-speech but you could get it in like Neal Brut you could get an article in I steal brains voice it'd be great if there was like a novelization of twisted-pair I would buy that and read it just so like it's just literally just you've just randomly banging on a keyboard no it's like separate words technology artificial intelligence all the novelization cyborg warfare biological DNA biological cybernetic warfare what is he saying I I bought the novelization of twisted-pair it just says all work and no play makes Jack a dull you would find the novelization of twisted-pair on Amazon be like like buy it right away and you open it up and it's all lorem ipsum anyone no rock I'm ending this [Music] these are just shots that he already had again it is oh well that's a good thing so or is it a good thing this guy what is it the the story of Kade returns I guess he fell in love with this character that he created for himself because he wants to have him return hey we all felt I just hope it wasn't heartbroken when he had to murder his girlfriend oh yeah right did that happen yeah oh yeah they shot each other it was only business what right that's like Romeo and Juliet yeah [ __ ] [Music] [ __ ] [ __ ] it's been established it he's like a super bring and that she is super being or superb reing being super super green he can't be killed so she tries to shoot him yeah but a sequel could be good well you know we have so many unanswered questions if Neil brains watching I just hope that you film in at Nevada State College again right I hope the sequel is like full of like the classrooms are full of students just like who is this guy what is he doing so they can do in a lecture about making blockbusters so he wasn't scheduled to make a lecture he just walks into the woods very confused who wants to work on film why do you want everyone has the right to be loved everyone has the right to love and peace [Music] I'll be right [Music] [ __ ] well this is the point of the night where we pick a best of the worst Colin what is best of the worst I've got to give it to twisted-pair I think that's just the most entertaining movie of the evening I'll followed I would say by the instructor Jim well these two movies have really bad artifact and quality you know there was shot a long time ago the quality's just isn't there the quality isn't here either but it's a newer movie so it's easier to watch these movies here are people acting badly Neill brain isn't acting badly he's impersonating human beings which is terrifying so I'm going well you know there was some strong competition tonight really solid but you know Neil Breen is just at the top of his game he's the man is untouchable he's not hot streak right now Neil Breen is the Michael Jordan of bad cinema I know you're being sarcastic about it being competition guy I enjoyed all three of these movies I mean I'm not being sarcastic like we watched three quality terrible movies yeah I think we're kind of bored through some through dead eyes but yeah I I really enjoyed it I mean it's terrible but it's like I could see the the alternate universe version of that where Sega Dario Argento film and it works yeah for sure and then the instructor is just yeah the second half of that movie distances it's it's a crowd-pleaser they say I think most other nights Bert Pesci would have ran away with Hello absolutely awkwardly ran away really fast but yeah I mean twisted-pair is it's almost like you have to like Neal Breen is almost beyond best of the worst at this point now it's kind of like he's always gonna win you know we kind of saw that and I'm thinking we could just have the discussion just about that yeah yeah so if we were to if we were to take that out of the equation yeah I I would probably go with through dead eyes but I would say the instructor really time yeah I enjoyed through dead eyes like I said I can see what it could have been I would say three dead eyes too because the ending really was a twist yeah like if it was a more competent movie that would just blow me away like it was incredibly stupid but we were engaged throughout like trying to figure out the mystery we're like it was stupid enough for the movie and it was stupider than that it's amazing that a shitty movie can still like hold you captive to like figure out the whodunit quality of it yeah yeah I think everything else about the movie for me was just so dull - - borz is dull yeah - I've been really active terribly unlikable protagonist so - if it's if it's between the other two it's a tight race it really is but part Pesci and that amazing chase scene yeah wins out this is that yeah and the instructor is like classic good bad movie stuff nothing in this movie ever reaches the high no more genuinely engaged by like the story kind of but the instructor is like the story of the movie [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 2,506,657

Rating: 4.9339042 out of 5

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, instructor, twisted pair, neil breen, james doohan, star trek

Id: m2IV0BajqAk

Length: 79min 49sec (4789 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 05 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Garth-Vader]

I love Jim's deadpan delivery.

His Neil Breen impression is excellent.

[u/bonefresh]

So now would be a good time to tell my Twisted Pair story; I have some friends at work who I watch bad movies with and I bought a copy of TP from his confusing as hell website to watch with them. Months later I hadn't had anything so I emailed him and got a replacement sent out. I thought it got lost (I'm in the UK so it was going a fair distance) until I got another email from him about the first package getting sent back because of a wrong address. What actually happened was he must've written my address down wrong when he first posted it back in Feb, there was no request for address again so he must have gone off the original order again.

Great film, I think it's his best to date and can't wait for the sequel.

[u/[deleted]]

1 hour 19 plus a Breen movie?

OH MY GAWWWWWD

[u/tinypeeb]

Random but interesting: Jay jabs that The Instructor is the most interesting thing to happen in Ohio since "that river caught on fire". The Instructor was filmed in Akron and Cuyahoga, and the river that caught fire (repeatedly because pollution) was the Cuyahoga River.

I don't think Jay realized how perfect of a joke that was, but I did, and I'm grateful.

[u/AnythingMachine]

Childhood is when you idolise Cade. Adulthood is when you realize Cale makes more sense

[u/Blackfyre567]

Don’t Talk To Me Or My Son Ever Again

[u/Tarlcabot18]

Depressed, one-eyed James Doohan looks like Rich in the future.

[u/Prime20]

Neil Breen stole this episode as he rightfully should have but I've got to point out something.

As a long time RLM Fan and a resident of Ohio I just want everyone to know that we have had more exciting times since the river burning.

Like that time we cost the Indians a game because it was 10 cent beer night and everyone got drunk and started a riot.

Or that time someone decided it was a great idea to release millions of balloons over Cleveland caused millions in damage and probably caused the drowning deaths of two people because the Coast Guard couldn't see people in the water because of the balloons

Or that time the Browns had a 4th down overturned after spiking the ball on a 1st down conversion so the crowd started chucking beer bottles on the field till the referee just said "Fuck it the games over 48 seconds early!"

Also we have the birth place of aviation and one of the states with the largest amounts of Astronauts. People are so bored in this state that they will jump in a man made contraption to get away from Ohio as fast and as far as possible.

At least we aren't Michigan.

[u/Hinkil]

"Ow, I fell on my keys" Jim had some great one liners in this one.